Take a good look at the picture up top. Mom. Kids. Hanging out on a Saturday, like a family. But where’s dad? At the office? A strip club? None of the above. He’s working out, which is why mom wants to divorce and/or kill him.

Dad– Jordan Waxman, a private banking executive at Merrill Lynch– you see, is out exercising because that’s what he does during most of his waking hours, every morning before work and every night after and every weekend afternoon. This does not make mom- Caren Waxman- very happy, and the two chose to discuss their problems in a recent Journal article about people who hate their spouses.

The exercise widow often wakes to an empty bed—a sure sign of a morning workout—and may find dinner plans spoiled by a sudden avoidance of anything heavy before a night run. Hoping for an hour of television or catching-up before bedtime? Forget it: All that early-morning exercise takes its toll. Mr. Waxman arrives home from the office after his children, ages 11, 10 and 8, have eaten dinner, and he hits the sack before they do. “I’m out of gas by nine o’clock,” Mr. Waxman says. His exercise regimen intensified about seven years ago, eventually hitting two hours each weekday and up to five or six hours each Saturday and Sunday.

“A lot of wives in my position would have left,” Ms. Waxman says.

And Jordan, do you have anything to say about that?

“It’s selfish,” concedes Mr. Waxman, 46. He says he leaves notes for his wife and children before leaving for morning workouts.

It sounds like you get it, but do you really get it, Jordan? Your wife doesn’t think so. In fact, she thinks you’ve got a serious problem and she knows this because she’s the one who gets the calls that you’re passed out naked around your bike.

Last summer, Mrs. Waxman persuaded her parents and her husband’s parents to join her in what she calls “a family intervention”—a flurry of letters to Mr. Waxman urging him to exercise less.

Are you ready for the acceptance stage? Or is it going to be more excuses.

But Mr. Waxman stood his ground. In his view, his athletic ambition shouldn’t have surprised his wife. It arose from the same qualities that drove him to obtain two law degrees, an MBA and his position at Merrill Lynch.

His gargantuan training hours last summer were aimed at a particularly elite goal—a swim across the English Channel, which he achieved in September. “The English Channel thing, hopefully my wife and kids see it as a little bit inspiring,” he says.

How Couples Handle Conflict Arising From Exercise [WSJ via BI]

112 comments (hidden for your protection)
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Comments (112)

  1. Posted by Lord Humongous | February 3, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    “A lot of wives in my position would have left”

    Bet those JD’s came in handy when he crafted that ironclad prenup

  2. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    Get a maid and start banging the pool boy. Problem solved. You’re welcome.

  3. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    God, imagine having to work with and/or for this guy…

  4. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    God, imagine having to work with and/or for this guy…

  5. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    that settles it MBA = 2x JD, and thus MBA>CFA>JD

  6. Posted by LoveHandles | February 3, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    I thought the point of getting married and poping out some spawn was to so you could stop exercising and get fat. Did I miss something?

  7. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    the dad is the one w the exercise problem.

    -reading comprehension, get some of it

  8. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    the dad is the one w the exercise problem.

    -reading comprehension, get some of it

  9. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    insufferable douche, undoubtedly.

  10. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    insufferable douche, undoubtedly.

  11. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    insufferable douche, undoubtedly.

  12. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    insufferable douche, undoubtedly.

  13. Posted by Homosaurus | February 3, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Just like Tobias he’s looking for the Holy Trinity…

  14. Posted by Homosaurus | February 3, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Just like Tobias he’s looking for the Holy Trinity…

  15. Posted by Homosaurus | February 3, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Just like Tobias he’s looking for the Holy Trinity…

  16. Posted by LoveHandles | February 3, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    I’m not saying he popped them out, but that he facilitated the event. If that confuses you, I’m sure you could take Bio 101 at one of the fine community colleges in your area. Thanks for playing though.

  17. Posted by Gaspo the Great | February 3, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    What a pansy this guy is. I work out five hours a day every 15 minutes. True story.

  18. Posted by Gaspo the Great | February 3, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    What a pansy this guy is. I work out five hours a day every 15 minutes. True story.

  19. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    let me break this down for you–

    most people– like, you– say stuff like “I thought the point of getting married and poping out some spawn was to so you could stop exercising and get fat,” referring to women. Do you know a lot of dudes who are all, “I can’t wait to get married so I can get fat!”?

  20. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    let me break this down for you–

    most people– like, you– say stuff like “I thought the point of getting married and poping out some spawn was to so you could stop exercising and get fat,” referring to women. Do you know a lot of dudes who are all, “I can’t wait to get married so I can get fat!”?

  21. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    GTL4life!

  22. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    GTL4life!

  23. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    I love sentences that people end propositions with.

  24. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    I love sentences that people end propositions with.

  25. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    I love sentences that people end propositions with.

  26. Posted by Brian Moynihan | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  27. Posted by Brian Moynihan | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  28. Posted by Brian Moynihan | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  29. Posted by Brian Moynihan | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  30. Posted by Brian Moynihan | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  31. Posted by Brian Moynihan | February 3, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  32. Posted by MeredithWhitney | February 3, 2011 at 6:03 PM

    It moved.

  33. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:04 PM

    He’s Canadian. How bad could he be?

  34. Posted by Moderator | February 3, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Please continue this conversation in the YouTube comment section.

  35. Posted by Moderator | February 3, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Please continue this conversation in the YouTube comment section.

  36. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:09 PM

    it moved.

    -jordan waxman

  37. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:09 PM

    it moved.

    -jordan waxman

  38. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    You have moved into the left hand lane of the Shithead Commentary Highway. Currently, Anal_yst and “In Soviet Russia” guy are far ahead, but you’re gaining.

  39. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    You have moved into the left hand lane of the Shithead Commentary Highway. Currently, Anal_yst and “In Soviet Russia” guy are far ahead, but you’re gaining.

  40. Posted by John Goodman | February 3, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    Yes

  41. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    is he? oh, then he’s fine.

  42. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  43. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  44. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  45. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  46. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    No CT?

  47. Posted by XXX | February 3, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    We’ll see what happens when her broke ass is in the projects collecting welfare.

  48. Posted by Herb | February 3, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    I don’t see what you did there.

  49. Posted by Avid Skymall Reader | February 3, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    She should have bought him a ROM for Christmas…errr…The Holidays.

    http://www.fastexercise.com/

  50. Posted by gets wood from muscular women | February 3, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    From the looks of the picture, “Jorie” might have started working out so hard because the missus was physically kicking his ass all the time. You see those guns on her?!

  51. Posted by gets wood from muscular women | February 3, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    From the looks of the picture, “Jorie” might have started working out so hard because the missus was physically kicking his ass all the time. You see those guns on her?!

  52. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | February 3, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    That was GOB…”What, I thought that’s what you guys lived for!”

  53. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | February 3, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    That was GOB…”What, I thought that’s what you guys lived for!”

  54. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    “Hey, can you tell my wife to relax and enjoy the view?”

    -JW

  55. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    “Hey, can you tell my wife to relax and enjoy the view?”

    -JW

  56. Posted by CDNGuest | February 3, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    You know it, eh. I’m doing a Tim Horton’s run. You want anything?

  57. Posted by CDNGuest | February 3, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    You know it, eh. I’m doing a Tim Horton’s run. You want anything?

  58. Posted by CDNGuest | February 3, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    You know it, eh. I’m doing a Tim Horton’s run. You want anything?

  59. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Not just that; it sounds like the guy has literally *no* non-work interests apart from working out.

  60. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Not just that; it sounds like the guy has literally *no* non-work interests apart from working out.

  61. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Not just that; it sounds like the guy has literally *no* non-work interests apart from working out.

  62. Posted by Billy Madison | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  63. Posted by Billy Madison | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  64. Posted by Billy Madison | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  65. Posted by Billy Madison | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  66. Posted by Billy Madison | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  67. Posted by Billy Madison | February 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  68. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    Sounds like someone has issues because they couldn’t make the NHL.

  69. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Presumably a big shot from ML could afford better furniture……

  70. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 6:51 PM

    He’s speeding down the carpool lane with Ping/magic marker guy.

  71. Posted by Alan | February 3, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    i assume he’s 5’2″, always trying to measure up.

  72. Posted by Gene Poutine | February 3, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    He went to McGill. They do all kinds of weird shit in Canada. Don’t barristers have to wear wigs?

  73. Posted by Gene Poutine | February 3, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    He went to McGill. They do all kinds of weird shit in Canada. Don’t barristers have to wear wigs?

  74. Posted by Supraman | February 3, 2011 at 7:07 PM

    Probably an LLM. They are most commonly done in Tax, which is reasonable since he is in Private Banking.

  75. Posted by Bob McKenzie | February 3, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    Yah. Can you grab me a two-four at the packie? Thanks, eh?

  76. Posted by Bob McKenzie | February 3, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    Yah. Can you grab me a two-four at the packie? Thanks, eh?

  77. Posted by Bob McKenzie | February 3, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    Yah. Can you grab me a two-four at the packie? Thanks, eh?

  78. Posted by Vince McCrudden | February 3, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    A midget motherfucker, if you will.

  79. Posted by Vince McCrudden | February 3, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    A midget motherfucker, if you will.

  80. Posted by Vince McCrudden | February 3, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    A midget motherfucker, if you will.

  81. Posted by CurrencyTrader | February 3, 2011 at 7:20 PM

    Women only want one thing…A chocolate dick that ejaculates money. Don’t give it to them and they start throwing the D word around.

  82. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | February 3, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    We’ll all take that on authority, coming from the guy with plenty of experience in providing neither food, dick, nor money.

  83. Posted by STAR! | February 3, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    Whirrrr beeep!
    x = chocolate dick size
    y = ejaculation
    z = money
    (((z+y)^ln 15)*x))/e^0.26
    buzzz! bing!

    report:
    The D word is Dirigible!
    Buy Goodyear
    Short Nestle

  84. Posted by STAR! | February 3, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    Whirrrr beeep!
    x = chocolate dick size
    y = ejaculation
    z = money
    (((z+y)^ln 15)*x))/e^0.26
    buzzz! bing!

    report:
    The D word is Dirigible!
    Buy Goodyear
    Short Nestle

  85. Posted by STAR! | February 3, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    Whirrrr beeep!
    x = chocolate dick size
    y = ejaculation
    z = money
    (((z+y)^ln 15)*x))/e^0.26
    buzzz! bing!

    report:
    The D word is Dirigible!
    Buy Goodyear
    Short Nestle

  86. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    you mean he’s the guy speeding down the carpool lane with the inflatable doll / sex toy in the passenger seat trying to fool the transit police he’s a legit carpooler, and the ping guy is tailgating him

  87. Posted by CoolCurrencyTrader | February 3, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    You’re so cool. And knowledgable about what women want.

  88. Posted by Tehdue | February 3, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    Ive worked w/ Lance Armstrong wannbe d-bags like this…he never got laid while getting those 2 law degrees and he’s bitter, fast forward to now and he is looking hot next to his middle aged, pear shaped, slovenly peers and he is the MAN!

  89. Posted by Tehdue | February 3, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    Ive worked w/ Lance Armstrong wannbe d-bags like this…he never got laid while getting those 2 law degrees and he’s bitter, fast forward to now and he is looking hot next to his middle aged, pear shaped, slovenly peers and he is the MAN!

  90. Posted by Tehdue | February 3, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    Ive worked w/ Lance Armstrong wannbe d-bags like this…he never got laid while getting those 2 law degrees and he’s bitter, fast forward to now and he is looking hot next to his middle aged, pear shaped, slovenly peers and he is the MAN!

  91. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    Now he works for Bank of Amerillwide and getting raped by BM!

  92. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    he seems overqualified for Private Banking. probably took the job because it is so lifestyle friendly to accomodate his workout regimen. smart guy.

  93. Posted by CurrencyTrader | February 3, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    A lot of people ask me, ‘CT, you’re a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?’ And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it’s actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.

  94. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    Don’t forget that his comments are also awesome and hilarious.

  95. Posted by Guest | February 3, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    Just give him some poutine.

  96. Posted by Full-on Retahd | February 3, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    2nd!

  97. Posted by CurrencyTrader | February 3, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    It’s true. Also, why is it that whenever I say anything about hookers or sex my comments get removed? I mean at the end of the day besides money is there anything else that matters?

  98. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 10:19 PM

    Bony Mellon?

  99. Posted by Anonymous | February 3, 2011 at 10:19 PM

    Bony Mellon?

  100. Posted by Guywithhotwife | February 3, 2011 at 10:42 PM

    When the husband is in better shape than the wife, he is getting laid on the side….know it.

  101. Posted by Enforce | February 4, 2011 at 5:22 AM

    True story

  102. Posted by Enforce | February 4, 2011 at 5:22 AM

    True story

  103. Posted by Peter Davis | February 4, 2011 at 5:49 AM

    Sounds like it’s time to fire up the vibe and call the pool boy, Mrs. W…

  104. Posted by Le Bifteck | February 4, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    Never, ever talk shit about McGill.

    - guy who didn’t need a fake id to drink freshmen year

  105. Posted by Rpm234 | February 4, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    This guy is clearly having a gay affair.

  106. Posted by Real Men Figure Skate | February 4, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    He’ll get his payback when his kid becomes the next Johnny Weir

  107. Posted by Anonymous | February 4, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    First, don’t believe everything you read. Secondly, where was I when the photos were taken? At home with family and photographer. He was at our house for over 2 hours.

  108. Posted by FormerHoughtonMifflinEmployee | February 5, 2011 at 12:20 AM

    Ummm ‘is’ is a verb?

  109. Posted by Duh | February 5, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    “I’m out of gas by nine o’clock,” Mr. Waxman says. His exercise regimen intensified about seven years ago, eventually hitting two hours each weekday and up to five or six hours each Saturday and Sunday.”

    haha… with so much “work out” no wonder he is “out of gas”. The wife reads this on print and does not see the absudity of the situation at all?!

    Clearly the guy is upto no good, the only question being which way he swings.

  110. Posted by ... | February 5, 2011 at 11:42 PM

    It sounds like this guy has serious body dysmorphia

  111. Posted by Guest | February 7, 2011 at 4:22 AM

    the technical term is ‘manorexia’

  112. Posted by insedelt | April 15, 2012 at 5:07 PM

    must look at this chanel bags 2010 suprisely