MBAs, News

Merrill Lynch Banker’s Wife Has Contemplated Divorcing Her Husband Over His Exercise Habit


Take a good look at the picture up top. Mom. Kids. Hanging out on a Saturday, like a family. But where’s dad? At the office? A strip club? None of the above. He’s working out, which is why mom wants to divorce and/or kill him.

Dad– Jordan Waxman, a private banking executive at Merrill Lynch– you see, is out exercising because that’s what he does during most of his waking hours, every morning before work and every night after and every weekend afternoon. This does not make mom- Caren Waxman- very happy, and the two chose to discuss their problems in a recent Journal article about people who hate their spouses.

The exercise widow often wakes to an empty bed—a sure sign of a morning workout—and may find dinner plans spoiled by a sudden avoidance of anything heavy before a night run. Hoping for an hour of television or catching-up before bedtime? Forget it: All that early-morning exercise takes its toll. Mr. Waxman arrives home from the office after his children, ages 11, 10 and 8, have eaten dinner, and he hits the sack before they do. “I’m out of gas by nine o’clock,” Mr. Waxman says. His exercise regimen intensified about seven years ago, eventually hitting two hours each weekday and up to five or six hours each Saturday and Sunday.

“A lot of wives in my position would have left,” Ms. Waxman says.

And Jordan, do you have anything to say about that?

“It’s selfish,” concedes Mr. Waxman, 46. He says he leaves notes for his wife and children before leaving for morning workouts.

It sounds like you get it, but do you really get it, Jordan? Your wife doesn’t think so. In fact, she thinks you’ve got a serious problem and she knows this because she’s the one who gets the calls that you’re passed out naked around your bike.

Last summer, Mrs. Waxman persuaded her parents and her husband’s parents to join her in what she calls “a family intervention”—a flurry of letters to Mr. Waxman urging him to exercise less.

Are you ready for the acceptance stage? Or is it going to be more excuses.

But Mr. Waxman stood his ground. In his view, his athletic ambition shouldn’t have surprised his wife. It arose from the same qualities that drove him to obtain two law degrees, an MBA and his position at Merrill Lynch.

His gargantuan training hours last summer were aimed at a particularly elite goal—a swim across the English Channel, which he achieved in September. “The English Channel thing, hopefully my wife and kids see it as a little bit inspiring,” he says.

How Couples Handle Conflict Arising From Exercise [WSJ via BI]

112 comments
(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

112 Responses to “Merrill Lynch Banker’s Wife Has Contemplated Divorcing Her Husband Over His Exercise Habit”

  1. Lord Humongous says:

    “A lot of wives in my position would have left”

    Bet those JD’s came in handy when he crafted that ironclad prenup

    • Anonymous says:

      First, don’t believe everything you read. Secondly, where was I when the photos were taken? At home with family and photographer. He was at our house for over 2 hours.

  2. Guest says:

    Get a maid and start banging the pool boy. Problem solved. You’re welcome.

  3. Anonymous says:

    God, imagine having to work with and/or for this guy…

  4. Anonymous says:

    God, imagine having to work with and/or for this guy…

  5. Anonymous says:

    that settles it MBA = 2x JD, and thus MBA>CFA>JD

  6. LoveHandles says:

    I thought the point of getting married and poping out some spawn was to so you could stop exercising and get fat. Did I miss something?

    • Guest says:

      the dad is the one w the exercise problem.

      -reading comprehension, get some of it

      • LoveHandles says:

        I’m not saying he popped them out, but that he facilitated the event. If that confuses you, I’m sure you could take Bio 101 at one of the fine community colleges in your area. Thanks for playing though.

        • Guest says:

          let me break this down for you–

          most people– like, you– say stuff like “I thought the point of getting married and poping out some spawn was to so you could stop exercising and get fat,” referring to women. Do you know a lot of dudes who are all, “I can’t wait to get married so I can get fat!”?

        • Guest says:

          let me break this down for you–

          most people– like, you– say stuff like “I thought the point of getting married and poping out some spawn was to so you could stop exercising and get fat,” referring to women. Do you know a lot of dudes who are all, “I can’t wait to get married so I can get fat!”?

    • Guest says:

      the dad is the one w the exercise problem.

      -reading comprehension, get some of it

  7. Homosaurus says:

    Just like Tobias he’s looking for the Holy Trinity…

  8. Homosaurus says:

    Just like Tobias he’s looking for the Holy Trinity…

  9. Homosaurus says:

    Just like Tobias he’s looking for the Holy Trinity…

  10. Gaspo the Great says:

    What a pansy this guy is. I work out five hours a day every 15 minutes. True story.

  11. Gaspo the Great says:

    What a pansy this guy is. I work out five hours a day every 15 minutes. True story.

  12. Anonymous says:

    GTL4life!

  13. Anonymous says:

    GTL4life!

    • Guest says:

      You have moved into the left hand lane of the Shithead Commentary Highway. Currently, Anal_yst and “In Soviet Russia” guy are far ahead, but you’re gaining.

    • Guest says:

      You have moved into the left hand lane of the Shithead Commentary Highway. Currently, Anal_yst and “In Soviet Russia” guy are far ahead, but you’re gaining.

  14. Brian Moynihan says:

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  15. Brian Moynihan says:

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  16. Brian Moynihan says:

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  17. Brian Moynihan says:

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  18. Brian Moynihan says:

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  19. Brian Moynihan says:

    Note to self: Replace coffee of the month bonuses for Merrill Lynch division with gym memberships to Planet Fitness.

  20. MeredithWhitney says:

    It moved.

  21. Guest says:

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  22. Guest says:

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  23. Guest says:

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  24. Guest says:

    He should work at DB instead of ML. Get it? Because DB also could stand for douche bag. Do you get it?

  25. XXX says:

    We’ll see what happens when her broke ass is in the projects collecting welfare.

  26. Avid Skymall Reader says:

    She should have bought him a ROM for Christmas…errr…The Holidays.

    http://www.fastexercise.com/

  27. gets wood from muscular women says:

    From the looks of the picture, “Jorie” might have started working out so hard because the missus was physically kicking his ass all the time. You see those guns on her?!

  28. gets wood from muscular women says:

    From the looks of the picture, “Jorie” might have started working out so hard because the missus was physically kicking his ass all the time. You see those guns on her?!

  29. Guest says:

    “Hey, can you tell my wife to relax and enjoy the view?”

    -JW

  30. Guest says:

    “Hey, can you tell my wife to relax and enjoy the view?”

    -JW

  31. Billy Madison says:

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  32. Billy Madison says:

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

    • Gene Poutine says:

      He went to McGill. They do all kinds of weird shit in Canada. Don’t barristers have to wear wigs?

      • Le Bifteck says:

        Never, ever talk shit about McGill.

        – guy who didn’t need a fake id to drink freshmen year

    • Gene Poutine says:

      He went to McGill. They do all kinds of weird shit in Canada. Don’t barristers have to wear wigs?

    • Supraman says:

      Probably an LLM. They are most commonly done in Tax, which is reasonable since he is in Private Banking.

  33. Billy Madison says:

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  34. Billy Madison says:

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  35. Billy Madison says:

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  36. Billy Madison says:

    Why does anyone need two law degrees? Am I missing something? Isn’t that like going through high school twice?

  37. Guest says:

    Presumably a big shot from ML could afford better furniture……

  38. Alan says:

    i assume he’s 5’2″, always trying to measure up.

  39. Women only want one thing…A chocolate dick that ejaculates money. Don’t give it to them and they start throwing the D word around.

    • We’ll all take that on authority, coming from the guy with plenty of experience in providing neither food, dick, nor money.

      • It’s true. Also, why is it that whenever I say anything about hookers or sex my comments get removed? I mean at the end of the day besides money is there anything else that matters?

    • STAR! says:

      Whirrrr beeep!
      x = chocolate dick size
      y = ejaculation
      z = money
      (((z+y)^ln 15)*x))/e^0.26
      buzzz! bing!

      report:
      The D word is Dirigible!
      Buy Goodyear
      Short Nestle

    • STAR! says:

      Whirrrr beeep!
      x = chocolate dick size
      y = ejaculation
      z = money
      (((z+y)^ln 15)*x))/e^0.26
      buzzz! bing!

      report:
      The D word is Dirigible!
      Buy Goodyear
      Short Nestle

    • STAR! says:

      Whirrrr beeep!
      x = chocolate dick size
      y = ejaculation
      z = money
      (((z+y)^ln 15)*x))/e^0.26
      buzzz! bing!

      report:
      The D word is Dirigible!
      Buy Goodyear
      Short Nestle

    • CoolCurrencyTrader says:

      You’re so cool. And knowledgable about what women want.

      • A lot of people ask me, ‘CT, you’re a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?’ And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it’s actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.

      • Guest says:

        Don’t forget that his comments are also awesome and hilarious.

    • Guywithhotwife says:

      When the husband is in better shape than the wife, he is getting laid on the side….know it.

  40. Tehdue says:

    Ive worked w/ Lance Armstrong wannbe d-bags like this…he never got laid while getting those 2 law degrees and he’s bitter, fast forward to now and he is looking hot next to his middle aged, pear shaped, slovenly peers and he is the MAN!

  41. Tehdue says:

    Ive worked w/ Lance Armstrong wannbe d-bags like this…he never got laid while getting those 2 law degrees and he’s bitter, fast forward to now and he is looking hot next to his middle aged, pear shaped, slovenly peers and he is the MAN!

  42. Tehdue says:

    Ive worked w/ Lance Armstrong wannbe d-bags like this…he never got laid while getting those 2 law degrees and he’s bitter, fast forward to now and he is looking hot next to his middle aged, pear shaped, slovenly peers and he is the MAN!

  43. Guest says:

    he seems overqualified for Private Banking. probably took the job because it is so lifestyle friendly to accomodate his workout regimen. smart guy.

  44. Peter Davis says:

    Sounds like it’s time to fire up the vibe and call the pool boy, Mrs. W…

  45. Rpm234 says:

    This guy is clearly having a gay affair.

  46. Real Men Figure Skate says:

    He’ll get his payback when his kid becomes the next Johnny Weir

  47. Duh says:

    “I’m out of gas by nine o’clock,” Mr. Waxman says. His exercise regimen intensified about seven years ago, eventually hitting two hours each weekday and up to five or six hours each Saturday and Sunday.”

    haha… with so much “work out” no wonder he is “out of gas”. The wife reads this on print and does not see the absudity of the situation at all?!

    Clearly the guy is upto no good, the only question being which way he swings.

  48. ... says:

    It sounds like this guy has serious body dysmorphia

  49. insedelt says:

    must look at this chanel bags 2010 suprisely