An oft asked but never conclusively answered question is, “What is the secret to a successful business career?” Is it hard work? Is it perseverance? Is it in-depth research and a top-notch ability to get information first? Is it ass-kissing? Is it wearing a dress and growing breasts? Is it a matter of simply being lucky or surrounding your office with good luck charms? No one’s been able to say. Today, however, a heretofore unmentioned method of making it has been raised, and whether you’re a first year analyst or a thirty-year veteran looking for new places to recruit talent, I’d suggest taking notes. Continue reading »
Archive for February 2011
If You Want To Be Successul In Business, You’d Best Slap On A Pair Of Orange Shorts And A White Tank Top Now
By Bess LevinGiven that they’re probably not speaking at the moment, the Jets quarterback most likely did not propose to Eliza Kruger, the 17 year-old daughter of Greenwich Capital founder Konrad Kruger, who recently discussed bedding Sanchez and his clinginess afterward with the press. But I still have my fingers crossed and I’d like you to do the same that the band appearing on Eliza’s ring finger in a recent photograph is from Sancho, hoping to get an investing gig with Papa Kruger after retirement. Continue reading »
There’s A Rumor Going Around Paul Tudor Jones Called For A Rally In Bonds And A Sell-Off In Stocks
By Bess Levin
Unfortunately (depending on where you’re standing), that rumor is entirely false, and PTJ never said anything about any of that, according to Tudor representatives. Now, who wants chicken? Big P’s doing a run to Norwalk. [BI]
Goldman Sachs was “buying more illiquid assets than we probably should have,” Viniar, 55, said today at a conference in Miami hosted by Credit Suisse Group AG, his eighth consecutive appearance at the annual event. “It was a good lesson learned.” [Bloomberg]
Mark Sanchez Bangs 17 Year-Old Daughter Of Greenwich Capital Founder In Effort To Gain Access To Top Flight Money Management?
By Bess Levin
As you may have heard, Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has a 17 year-old lady friend. Her name is Eliza Kruger (pictured) and she’s a high school student in Greenwich who he met at nightclub Lavo on New Year’s Eve. Liking what he saw, Sanchez gave her tickets to the January 2 Jets/Bills game and then, a week later, took her dinner at Nobu and back to his house in New Jersey where they “hooked up” (she posted pictures to Facebook of a bed with rumbled sheets afterward, natch). For those of you wondering if Sanchez was wading into statutory rape category- he wasn’t. Eliza looked up the age of consent in New Jersey and it’s 16, so everything was cool. Or at least it should have been but sometimes people get bent out of shape when a 24 year-old has relations with a girl who was 11 when he was 18. What also made things awkward was that Eliza seems to have just been in it for the sex but Sanchez wanted more! He would text her at all hours of the night, like at 2am on a Wednesday to “hang out” and she respond, “Um, I have school tomorrow.” He was contacting her as recently as January 24, seeing if she wanted to chill after the Jets lost the AFC Championship Game and people, like Eliza’s father, started to be all, “leave her alone, stalker.”
But! Today brings news Sanchez might not have been actually harassing a 17 year-old girl but rather trying to get to her dad, knowing the guy could offer him unparalleled investment advice, Papa Kruger being Konrad “Chip” Kruger, a partner in Stamford-based financial firm Five Mile Capital Partners and founder/former co-CEO of Greenwich Capital. Continue reading »
In Muni Bond Ills, Danger And Hope (WSJ)
“People have been through the tech bubble and the real-estate bubble, and they are scared,” says Peter Demirali, a managing director at Cumberland Advisors, an investment firm in Sarasota, Fla. “When they are told there is another bomb to go off, they head for the hills.”
Stiglitz Expects 2 Million U.S. Foreclosures This Year (Bloomberg)
Joseph Stiglitz said another 2 million foreclosures are expected in the U.S. this year, adding to the 7 million that have occurred since the economic crisis of 2008. “U.S. foreclosures are continuing apace,” Stiglitz told a conference near Port Louis, the capital of Mauritius, today. “A quarter of U.S. homes are underwater.”
St. Joe Company Exploring Possible Sale (BusinessWeek)
Board members will consider everything from a revised business plan, operating partnerships, joint ventures, asset sales, and sale of the company, among other options, the company said.
AIG To Book $4.1 Billion Charge (WSJ)
About 80% of the newest charge relates to four classes of businesses: asbestos, excess casualty, excess workers’ compensation and primary workers’ compensation. And the majority of the strengthening relates to developments in accident years 2005 and earlier.
Morgan Stanley May Turn Proprietary Group Into Client Business (Bloomberg)
A final decision hasn’t been made about the group, known as Equity Trading Lab, or ETL, said one of the people, who declined to be named because the talks aren’t public. New York-based Morgan Stanley said last month that it plans to break off its largest proprietary-trading group, Process Driven Trading, or PDT, as an independent advisory firm by the end of 2012. Mary Claire Delaney, a Morgan Stanley spokeswoman, declined to comment.
JPMorgan Fires Back at Trustee for Madoff Victims (Reuters)
“The trustee’s massive damages action against JPMorgan bears no resemblance to a typical lawsuit commenced by a bankruptcy trustee,” JPMorgan’s lawyers said in a court filing late Tuesday. “In substance,” the bank said, “the trustee is trying to pursue an enormous back-door class action.” Continue reading »
Where shrinkage ensued. Continue reading »
If You’ve Ever Wondered What Donald Longueuil Might’ve Sounded Like On The Cold December Night He Told A Colleague How To Destroy Evidence Of Insider Trading, Wonder No Longer (MP3)
By Bess Levin
The fleece of choice for traitorous skanks
Earlier today, we examined the government’s criminal complaint against two former SAC Capital employees, Donald Longueuil and Noah Freeman. Of particular interest was a conversation between the two men that took place on December 20, 2010, in which they met and discussed a recent Wall Street Journal article that detailed the Feds growing case against insider traders. Longueuil, who unfortunately did not know that Freeman was cooperating with the FBI at the time, told his boy he’d destroyed his “log” as well as two external hard drives containing “wafer data.” Freeman, the little minx, inquired as to how that was possible, pressing Longueuil for specifics which Longueuil happily provided. The play-by-play was so riveting, the details so rich (ex: we know two (2) pairs of pliers and a North Face were involved), that we felt like we were there that night. It was the sort of thing that begs for a dramatic reading and we decided we’ll be doing just that (the proceeds of which will go toward a Leave Steve Alone! or Back The Shit Off SAC or We’re Pulling For Ya, Big Guy fund).
While we’re only in the beginning stages of casting ideas (unknowns or established actors? is Longueuil more of a Busey or a Christopher Walken? Does he have a Puerto Rican accent? Should Freeman’s role be performed in black face or in drag? etc), we’ve had an early self-submission for the part of Donald. It comes from reader who’s a portfolio manager by day/aspiring made-for-radio movie star by night/lunch that writes: “Dear Bess: Attached please find my audition for the role of Donald Longueuil in your upcoming dramatic reading. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me.”
The clip is ready for your review below. Please note he went off script with an extra “fuckin” before “North Face,” preferring it to the pause in the report. Actors. Continue reading »
Unlike certain other hedge fund investors (no names: FrontPoint) Diamondback clients have balls. Continue reading »
Former Goldman Sachs Analyst Weighs On The ‘Godzilla Of Stench’ That Emanates From Indian Men’s Houses
By Bess LevinTags: Goldman Sachs, JC Davies, my mouth is agape, people who may be racist, this entire thing is presented without comment