Archive for February 2011

“The morning after we learned of the news,” Greenspan said of the Dow Jones plunging 6.98 percent that day in September 2008, “I was able to look myself in the mirror and say, ‘Hey, not bad.’” Sure, if he’d tried just a little harder he could’ve done better– 10 percent would’ve been a dream– but really, all things considering, not bad! Solid B+ work. [NYU via BI]

This is the deal the ingrates known as Harbinger investors have pooh-poohed, with irrelevant arguments like the fact that they “thought they were putting money into a hedge fund that traded securities that were easy to buy and sell” and then Falcone goes and pulls something like this. Well he’ll show you. He’ll show all of you! Read more »

When Jay Solomon was applying for jobs in finance last year, there was one thing on his resume that set him apart from the competition. It wasn’t his prior experience, or education or Excel skills. It wasn’t even his formatting and it definitely wasn’t his scented paper, which everyone uses these days. It was his ability to put his foot behind his head.

When Solomon, 25, was applying for jobs in real estate, there was one achievement on his CV that always got a response. “I put advanced yoga practitioner . . . just some bulls – - t at the bottom of the resume,” says Solomon. “All these guys were like, ‘Oh, I do yoga, come here, let me show you my yoga mat in the office,’ ” he recalls.

While neither Solomon nor the people interviewing him actually sound very Yogi master-like (“some bull shit”? “Let me show you my yoga mat”?), it was enough to not only get his foot in the door but land him a gig at “a private equity real estate fund in Harlem.” And that’s not all. Read more »


Have you committed a crime lately? Whether you’re a CFO who’s been not exactly forthcoming about all the toxic assets on your firm’s balance sheet, a trader who’s used some material non-public information to your benefit or an administrative assistant who finally had it and offed your boss, you’ve probably already disposed of the evidence. Documents, hard drives, bodies, etc. That’s easy and generally doesn’t require more than two pairs of pliers. What may prove slightly more difficult but is just as important is getting rid of any people who may have seen some stuff they weren’t supposed to see. If that’s the case, flag down the truck seen above, which now provides “witness destruction,” among other services. Read more »

It can get complicated, so he drew a diagram. Read more »

  • 18 Feb 2011 at 7:45 AM

Opening Bell: 02.18.11

G20 May Agree On Imbalance Measures (WSJ)
The official, who is party to the discussions in Paris, said there is “almost consensus” on which indicators to use but that China still opposes some. He said China’s negotiators are resisting including current-account imbalances and the real effective exchange rate among the indicators. He also said China and several other countries that have built up large reserves are against using currency reserves to indicate imbalances.

Krawcheck Slaps Cut-Pay Garden Leave on BofA Advisers (Bloomberg)
“They’re sending the message, ‘Make no mistake, you will incur our wrath, this is not a place you want to leave,’” said Mindy Diamond, president of Diamond Consultants LLC, a Chester, New Jersey-based executive-search firm. “It’s very rare that a company would have garden-leave provisions for producers, and I think this could backfire if people view it as draconian.”

Fed Chief Says U.S. Bolstered Its Ability to Handle Failure of a Big Bank (NYT)
Ben Bernanke told the Senate Banking Committee that it would be some time before all of the rules of the new law were in place but that regulators had begun to tighten risk standards and “certainly we’ve all learned lessons from the crisis.” When Senator Richard C. Shelby of Alabama, the ranking Republican on the committee, asked what those lessons were, Mr. Bernanke replied, “The importance of being very aggressive and not being willing to allow banks, you know, too much leeway, particularly when they’re inadequate in areas like risk management.”

Tim Geithner Joins NYSE Name Push (NYP)
Geithner said he “very much” agrees with Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY), who has been trying to wield his political clout to ensure that “New York” comes first in the name of the new entity that emerges from the pending $10 billion tie-up. “I’ve talked to at least 10 experts and all of them say that the NYSE is a much stronger brand than Deutsche Boerse,” Schumer told The Post.

Wall Street Pay Still Doesn’t Consider Risk, Study Finds (NYT)
Many financial firms continue doling out bonuses without considering how it affects behavior, according to a study released Thursday by Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu. The study found that only 37 percent of financial institutions surveyed by Deloitte had substantially incorporated risk-management concerns into their compensation decisions.

Banks Like Barclays Find Loophole On Dodd-Frank Capital Rule (WSJ)
In November, Barclays PLC quietly changed the legal classification of the U.K. bank’s main subsidiary in the U.S. so that the unit would no longer be subject to federal bank-capital requirements. Several other banks based outside the U.S. are considering similar moves, according to people familiar with the matter.

SEC Questions Mutual Funds’ Muni Prices (WSJ)
The agency’s concern is that investors in high-yield muni-bond mutual funds could be misled about the true value of their investment, according to people familiar with the matter.

Warren Buffet’s White House Words Of Wisdom (CNBC)
Buffett says he feels lucky to have been born in the United States, lucky to have found what he loves doing very early in life, and “extremely lucky in that the two most important people to me in my life, my dad and my wife … they both extended to me unconditional love. And there’s no power on earth in my view like unconditional love.”

A-Rod leaving 15 CPW, buying penthouse at The Rushmore (NYP)
No more knocking on neighbor Lloyd Blankfein’s door for a cup of sugar. Read more »

  • 17 Feb 2011 at 6:07 PM

Write-Offs: 02.17.11

$$$ Allen Stanford Sues U.S. Prosecutors, SEC and FBI Agents [Bloomberg]

$$$ Apple to build its biggest store yet in Grand Central; David Einhorn nods approvingly. [COM via Daily Intel]

$$$ “Countrywide was one of the greatest companies in the history of this country,” Mr. Mozilo told Congressional examiners in September, more than two years after Bank of America bought the firm during the throes of the financial crisis. [Dealbook] Read more »

  • 17 Feb 2011 at 5:44 PM

Jamie Dimon Got Himself Paid

Restricted stock valued at $12 million and 367,377 stock appreciation rights valued at $5 million. No word yet on what he’s looking at in cash, but the first pipsqueak to even entertain the thought of asking whether or not he deserves it should think twice. Just walk away. [WSJ, FINS]

All WW spokeswomen– lookin’ at you, Jennifer Hudson– are suspects. Read more »

First off, you remember the Connecticut man who fisted a horse, yes? For those who fail to recall, last fall, Shelton resident Marian Wegiel was accused of forcing himself on a horse, having been found with “much of his arm inside the animal’s vagina.” Read more »

Earlier this year, Bloomberg Markets magazine named Don Brownstein, former philosophy professor and founder of Structured Portfolio Management the best performing large hedge fund manager of 2010, having returned 49.5 percent (after 134.6 percent in 2009). Now a lawsuit by one of his former traders, Jeffrey Kong, is shedding light on some of the secrets to Brownstein’s success, which may have involved referencing scenes from The Untouchables over the course of a trading day, like the when he would allegedly conduct staff meetings by walking around conference room tables slapping a baseball bat in his palm and threatening to murder people. Read more »