Over $700 million in residential mortgage-backed securities. Continue reading »
Archive for February 2011
Former Congressional Aide Has An Idea That Incorporates Sexual Assualt For How To Stop “All The Bullshit” On Wall Street
By Bess Levin
Wherever there's a threat of sexual violence, there I'll be.
His plan is fairly simple: “put Lloyd Blankfein in pound-me-in-the-ass prison.” Continue reading »
Like most of you, we like our Jamie Dimon right where we can see him- in our direct line of vision, running JPMorgan, sticking up for banks, going on dates with Lloyd and just being his generally passionate boy-toy CEO self. We can’t imagine JPMorgan without him and don’t want to. In fact, there’s only one other position we’d rather see him in, and that’s running his own bar ‘n grill. Unlike most fantasies, this isn’t one we conjured up with ourselves but rather one that actually came from JD, via his wife, who said a couple years back that one dream of her husband’s was to “open his own restaurant and turning himself into Sam Malone of Cheers.” All we did was flesh the thing out, by picking a venue (the basement of the old Bear Stearns building) and coming up with some fun gimmicks, like $2 dollar shot night. Well, apparently we can put our plans on ice, because today our dream was shattered and not gently. Continue reading »
Wells Fargo CFO Howard Atkin informed people last week that he was resigning from the firm, in announcement that employees and regulators apparently did not see coming (even hours prior, senior executives were said to be “aware” of Atkins’ plan). Today Chris Whalen has a theory. Continue reading »
Just concede it's possible.
While it’s not yet clear if people will be in a celebratory mood, UBS has just invited to New York and Stamford staff to get down in honor of bonus day. Continue reading »
Bonus Watch ’11: Drunk BarCap Trader Has Great News For Anyone Who Didn’t Exactly Push Him Or Herself This Year
By Bess Levin
“Even if a guy is really lazy and has done s*** all year, he’ll still get a £600,000 bonus.” Continue reading »
Like a Thai hooker with the clap. Continue reading »
FrontPoint Partners, the home of the delightful Steve “I will shut you down” Eisman, is expected to be hit with $500 million in redemption requests, potentially putting Morgan Stanley’s plans to spin off the hedge fund on ice. Continue reading »
Goldman To Shut Down Global Macro Trading Desk (WSJ)
The trading desk, which made bets with Goldman’s capital in foreign-exchange markets, interest-rate markets, stocks, commodities and other fixed-income markets, will close out its trades in coming days. Goldman decided to shut the unit to comply with the Volcker rule, a provision of the Dodd-Frank financial-overhaul law that is intended to curb the ability of banks to take risks with their own capital. Some members of Goldman’s eight-person trading desk will leave the company, according to people familiar with the situation. Karl Devine, who ran the four-person staff in London, and others on his staff are in talks with London-based hedge funds, including Brevan Howard, said people familiar with the matter.
In Prison Interview, Bernie Madoff Says Banks ‘Had’ To Know (NYT)
“They had to know,” Mr. Madoff said. “But the attitude was sort of, ‘If you’re doing something wrong, we don’t want to know.’ ”
NYSE Takeover Faces Touchy Issues (WSJ)
“You keep saying it’s an acquisition,” Mr. Niederauer told reporters Tuesday. “It is a merger. … I don’t know how many more times we can say that.” A joint news release called the deal “a business combination agreement.”
Borders Files For Bankruptcy (Bloomberg)
In its filing U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan, the company listed debt of $1.29 billion and assets of $1.28 billion.
Fairholme Will Move to Oust St. Joe Board (WSJ)
Fairholme Capital Management LLC will move to replace St. Joe’s board by written consent of the majority of the company’s shareholders, according to people familiar with the matter.
SocGen Net Quadruples on Russia, Investment Bank (Bloomberg)
Societe Generale rose as much as 4.2 percent after saying today that net income climbed to 874 million euros ($1.18 billion) from 221 million euros a year earlier, beating the 865 million-euro average estimate of 12 analysts surveyed by Bloomberg.
Anthem man, 84, talks about being stranded in desert for 5 days, drinking windshield wiper fluid (AZC)
He had only a small portion of pasta with him, which he did not eat because it made him thirsty. When his thirst got strong enough, he broke the top off of the windshield wiper fluid container and drank the liquid. Continue reading »
$$$ A Delaware judge harshly criticized Barclays Capital’s role in the $4 billion takeover of Del Monte Foods Co., saying the bank “secretly and selfishly manipulated the sale process” to boost its fees, and in a rare step delayed the deal’s closing to give other bidders a chance to jump in. [MarketWatch]
$$$ 100-foot-long narco sub found in Colombia [CNN]
$$$ John Paulson’s Interview With the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission: The Signs Were There [SSA]
$$$ Barclays Grows Staff and Compensation, Bonuses Slashed [FINS, DB] Continue reading »
The $1 billion dollar figure was tallied up prior to today’s 5PM deadline to withdraw, so it may be higher. On the bright side, it could’ve been worse, but preventative measures- ‘around 29% of its $5.8 billion in capital is in multi-year lock-ups’- were in place. [WSJ]
