• 24 Feb 2011 at 3:45 PM

Twenty Five Guys Who Will “Destroy Your Career On Wall Street”

By

According to John Carney and his associate Ash Bennington, who put together the list, they’re to be avoided and include:

* “The guy who always wants you to be his alibi when he cheats on his wife. (“Hey man, is it cool if I tell Kathy that we’re going fly fishing in Canada this weekend?”). No, dude: It’s not cool.”

* “The guy who offers his clients ‘a very special opportunity’ to invest in anything. He has a problem with cocaine.”

* “The guy who throws his phone across the trading floor whenever his positions go south. He’s an angry dude, and the more time you spend with him the more reasons he’ll find to dislike you.

* “Avoid anyone who tells you that you should relax and have a couple of drinks—at 9:15 on a Tuesday morning. You’re not cool enough to hang out with this guy.”

Agree/disagree? In your experience, have you found the guy who throws stuff at people to be someone you actually want to hitch your wagon to?

25 Guys To Avoid [NetNet]

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Comments (116)

Older Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    #24 FTW
    -guy who’s trying to get on bess’ good side

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    #24 FTW
    -guy who’s trying to get on bess’ good side

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    #24 FTW
    -guy who’s trying to get on bess’ good side

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Obvious gap in this analysis:

    The guy who tells you to take the female hormone pills because he says male traders need to be more like females.

  5. 5
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Obvious gap in this analysis:

    The guy who tells you to take the female hormone pills because he says male traders need to be more like females.

  6. 6
    Posted by Anonymous | February 24, 2011 at 9:13 PM

    #26 Ron Blarney

  7. 7
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    The guy who does triathalons with you and then asks, “is the log gone? How did you destroy the USB drive with the log?”

  8. 8
    Posted by Sitting next to a Dumbass | February 24, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    Avoid the dude that always needs some of your profitable futures contracts you put on your book 2 days ago to go with the basis trades that he did 2 days ago. You reading this John? Dumbass.

  9. 9
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    Carney?

  10. 10
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:21 PM

    The guys who keep trying to get into her pants. Some are so dreamy, too.

  11. 11
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    “the guy who goes on long, rambling, barely coherent diatribes about proxy battles. his name is john carney.”

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    Avoid the girl with short skirts, low-cut tops and red fishnet stockings who peels you off to the dance floor. She’s get you 5-10 for those corporate secrets you’ve been passing her.

  13. 13
    Posted by Ping | February 24, 2011 at 9:27 PM

    At first I read “25 guys who will destroy your colon on Wall St”. I clicked “more” so fast my mouse exploded.

  14. 14
    Posted by Self-Appointed Comment Judge | February 24, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    Love this.

  15. 15
    Posted by NakedShort | February 24, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    Avoid the guy who uses business catch phrases such as: think outside the box and lets bottom line this.

  16. 16
    Posted by NakedShort | February 24, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    Avoid the guy who uses business catch phrases such as: think outside the box and lets bottom line this.

  17. 17
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    Avoid the gumba who’s trying to make eye contact with you at the SuperBowl party. He’ll shop you for some SEC violation just to get good ratings on his show.

  18. 18
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    Avoid the gumba who’s trying to make eye contact with you at the SuperBowl party. He’ll shop you for some SEC violation just to get good ratings on his show.

  19. 19
    Posted by AZP | February 24, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    #26: The guy that works at UBS

  20. 20
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    You went there.

  21. 21
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    You went there.

  22. 22
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    Avoid the attractive girl who wears well fitted suits, three inch heels and turtle necks. The beasts in HR are about to fire her for being too sexy and you’ll have wasted all those buying of drinks on her before you got her to put out.

  23. 23
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    Avoid the attractive girl who wears well fitted suits, three inch heels and turtle necks. The beasts in HR are about to fire her for being too sexy and you’ll have wasted all those buying of drinks on her before you got her to put out.

  24. 24
    Posted by Anonymous | February 24, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Avoid anyone who doesn’t know what GTL stands for.

  25. 25
    Posted by Anonymous | February 24, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Avoid anyone who doesn’t know what GTL stands for.

  26. 26
    Posted by Tonic East | February 24, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Avoid the guy who prides himself on being illiterate, then a few years later claims to be an options guru.

  27. 27
    Posted by Tonic East | February 24, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Avoid the guy who prides himself on being illiterate, then a few years later claims to be an options guru.

  28. 28
    Posted by Lindsey | February 24, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    avoid asian people because they will make tempura of your pets and then eat them

  29. 29
    Posted by Lindsey | February 24, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    avoid asian people because they will make tempura of your pets and then eat them

  30. 30
    Posted by Lindsey | February 24, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    avoid asian people because they will make tempura of your pets and then eat them

  31. 31
    Posted by Lindsey | February 24, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    avoid asian people because they will make tempura of your pets and then eat them

  32. 32
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    Avoid the guy who uses the phrase” it is what it is”, especially when said in a montone.

  33. 33
    Posted by Common Sense | February 24, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.

  34. 34
    Posted by Anonymous | February 24, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    I think we need to get some granularity on this analysis.

  35. 35
    Posted by Carneydeepthroats | February 24, 2011 at 10:37 PM

    Avoid reading a story from a reporter who writes a story that says to avoid 25 guys and then is such a pussy that he doesn’t mention any names.

  36. 36
    Posted by ?? | February 24, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    Long day huh?

  37. 37
    Posted by Texashedge | February 24, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    Don’t reinvent the wheel though, PermaGuest

  38. 38
    Posted by Anonymous | February 24, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    Avoid anyone who actually believes that senior management knows what they’re doing.

    -ex-BSC, AIG employee

  39. 39
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2011 at 11:19 PM

    Avoid the laid-off for two years, mid-30s, selfish perpetual man-child who spins regularly and sits on his ass all day living off of severence. Oh wait, those are lawyers…

  40. 40
    Posted by Anonymous | February 24, 2011 at 11:25 PM

    I’m not, Texas; I’m just trying to get us to drill down on a more macro view of the situation.

  41. 41
    Posted by Dan Pratt | February 25, 2011 at 12:09 AM

    one of the great one’s in this business

  42. 42
    Posted by Anal_yst | February 25, 2011 at 12:33 AM

    Or a Danielle Cheisi reference

  43. 43
    Posted by Anal_yst | February 25, 2011 at 12:33 AM

    Analysis/paralysis man

  44. 44
    Posted by Itsthenki | February 25, 2011 at 2:25 AM

    Or “net-net.”

  45. 45
    Posted by CT | February 25, 2011 at 2:28 AM

    wanna say that to my face?

    -david “i popularized the phrase ‘it is what it is’” tepper

  46. 46
    Posted by Guest | February 25, 2011 at 2:34 AM

    would love to.

  47. 47
    Posted by Hu | February 25, 2011 at 2:59 AM

    Avoid anyone on Wall Street dumb enough to pick a fight with Bess Levin. – Asness

  48. 48
    Posted by Sir Guestlington | February 25, 2011 at 3:12 AM

    This comment thread needs a paradigm shift.

  49. 49
    Posted by Finn Alexander | February 25, 2011 at 7:40 AM

    It took two people to write that fluffery.

  50. 50
    Posted by Guest | February 25, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    The guy who says this kind oh shit : “Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel”

  51. 51
    Posted by GuestBRAH | February 25, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Thanks Chief – I owe ya one.

  52. 52
    Posted by GuySpurnedByBessinAdirondacks | February 25, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    Flattery will get you anywhere. In DB. In Bess’ pants

  53. 53
    Posted by Guest | February 25, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    How about we circle back later to discuss?

  54. 54
    Posted by Baby | February 25, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    Avoid milk

    -Baby

  55. 55
    Posted by Guest | February 25, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    um…what?

  56. 56
    Posted by Carnivore721 | February 25, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    I think it would be better if we look at this at 30,000 foot level.

  57. 57
    Posted by Lord Humongous | February 25, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    Let’s take this offline and attack the low hanging fruit first

  58. 58
    Posted by Lord Humongous | February 25, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    Bess, can I hitch my wagon to your caboose?

  59. 59
    Posted by Blah | February 25, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    UBS sucks

  60. 60
    Posted by The Observer | February 25, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    I don’t have the bandwidth to continue reading this.

  61. 61
    Posted by Timmy | February 25, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    Lord Humongous -

    Can I cram it in your boot?

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