News

What Do Wall Street And The Connecticut Man Who Had His Way With A Horse Have In Common?

First off, you remember the Connecticut man who fisted a horse, yes? For those who fail to recall, last fall, Shelton resident Marian Wegiel was accused of forcing himself on a horse, having been found with “much of his arm inside the animal’s vagina.”

Wegiel explained at the time that he was merely comforting the horsie–which belonged to his neighbor– who he claimed to have heard “cry out in distress.” His neighbor somehow did not buy the story that this was an accidental fisting with no malice intended and pressed charges that included cruelty to animals, fourth-degree sexual assault, third-degree criminal trespass and second-degree breach of peace.

Today, Wegiel showed up in court, where his lawyer argued that just as Wall Street has often been a victim of the media sensationalism that’s led to a demonizing of the industry, so too has Wegs. If we strip away the bull shit, nothing that serious actually went down here.

“If this was a guy and a sheep in Litchfield, and I’ve had a few of those cases, this would not have gotten nearly the media attention it has,” said Ralph Crozier, who represents 63-year-old Marian Wegiel.

“But I guess because a horse is higher off the ground it leaves a little more to the imagination.”

I don’t actually know how the height of the horse is relevant here but somehow it works. Goldman et al are advised to give Crozier a call, in case they want an attorney who gets them.

Lawyer for man accused of sexually assaulting horse says story has been overhyped [CT Post]

59 comments
(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

59 Responses to “What Do Wall Street And The Connecticut Man Who Had His Way With A Horse Have In Common?”

  1. GGGuest says:

    so fisting a sheep is the NKI?

  2. GGGuest says:

    so fisting a sheep is the NKI?

  3. Semi-Serious Question says:

    I don’t get this guy’s point. How does the height of the animal affect what gets left to the imagination?

  4. Guest says:

    “If we strip away the bull shit, nothing that serious actually went down here.”

    I see what you did there…

  5. Horse Whisperererer says:

    “Wegiel explained at the time that he was merely comforting the animal…”

    This man knows horses inside and out.

  6. Guestosaurus says:

    Whereas the Connecticut man was caught with much of his arm inside the horse’s vagina, wall street is typically caught with much of their head up the horse’s ass.

  7. Guestosaurus says:

    Whereas the Connecticut man was caught with much of his arm inside the horse’s vagina, wall street is typically caught with much of their head up the horse’s ass.

  8. Anonymous says:

    white people problems…

  9. Anonymous says:

    white people problems…

  10. Anonymous says:

    white people problems…

  11. derp says:

    Marian,

    Call me.

    -SJP

  12. derp says:

    Marian,

    Call me.

    -SJP

  13. Guest says:

    You have to be really demented to sexually assault a horse.

  14. Guest says:

    was he also able to hold a cup?

  15. Jockey says:

    So this guy is not a veternarian?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Wait until MT and his congressional aide buddies get wind of this…

  17. Guest says:

    The outcome of this case could have implications for the husbands/boyfriends of the Noel sisters.

  18. Mutualfdmgr says:

    So sheep fisting in Litchfield is an everyday occurrence?

  19. Guest says:

    Hmm….seems someone

    got caught “red handed”…

    with their “hand in the cookie jar”…

  20. Amish Electricity Trader says:

    What do you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse’s vagina? A mechanic!!

  21. Guest says:

    Which is hotter, hoses or horses?
    I say hoses.

    – Ping

  22. Anonymous says:

    So this guy brings in a horse with a fist in it’s vagina. I don’t know what its worth so I am going to bring in an expert to take a look, but if this thing checks out, I just gotta have it!

    Rick Harrison
    Pawn Stars
    Las Vegas, NV

  23. Not A Lawyer says:

    So… f!st-f^cking an animal is only

    “fourth-degree sexual assault”?

    I’d hate to see the rest of the scale …

  24. Hereallnight says:

    How do you know if your horse is gay? When you’re banging him in the ass, you reach around and he’s got a hard-on.

    -Jackie the Jokeman

  25. Anonymous says:

    To be fair, the horse was asking for it.

  26. Guest says:

    Suddenly, I feel the need to comfort my secretary

  27. Connecticut Center for Excuses says:

    And he was only going 35 miles per hour.

    -Connecticut Center for Excuses

  28. Just Wondering says:

    Did this guy ever trade energies?

  29. Wegs,

    Call me when you’re out. I think we might have something for you here.

    -MW

  30. Shecky Palmer says:

    Here’s how I got a black eye while golfing. I was at the 16th hole of Lochnivar, you know, by the cow pasture wher the cows come up to the fence for treats even though the course frowns on it and I saw some ladies following us and one hit a ball that, by the sound landed somewhere near me so I started looking around for it. After a while the lady who hit the ball came up and I told her i had been looking all this time for her ball but it was like it just disappeared and she started looking too. Some time went by and a cow went by and I looked and there under the cow’s tail was the ball resting in the cow’s vag and I lifted up the tail of the cow and innocently just said, “Hey lady! Does this one look like yours?” …well, you know what happened then.

  31. Pfluger the Barbarian says:

    The lawyer is incompetent. He should have simply said, “Its a small neighborhood” and left it at that. That’s what Goldman instructs their people to do when media types try to make a big deal over little things like this.

  32. Guest says:

    You’re hired!

    -Ping Capital HR

  33. Redpipe says:

    He sounds like a real “go getter”; I might have a position for him if he is interested.
    – Irving Picard

  34. Gyddiup says:

    More importantly, did he find the G-spot?

    Equestrian who thinks that the female orgasm is a myth.

  35. Don't hassle me I'm local says:

    What happens in CT, stays in CT.

  36. Greg says:

    At least it was a female horse. Not that anything’s wrong with that………

  37. Henry says:

    Whats the age of horse-consent in CT? In MA he could marry the horse and it won’t be able to testify against him. If the horse was male this guy would be elected to congress for his courage in breaking down barriers. You anti-beastiality fear mongers.

  38. Henry says:

    Whats the age of horse-consent in CT? In MA he could marry the horse and it won’t be able to testify against him. If the horse was male this guy would be elected to congress for his courage in breaking down barriers. You anti-beastiality fear mongers.

  39. Guest of Anonymous says:

    Moose Fisting > Horse Fisting. Just sayin’.

  40. Kimber says:

    SOMEONE NEEDS TO COMFORT HIM NOW…..