First off, you remember the Connecticut man who fisted a horse, yes? For those who fail to recall, last fall, Shelton resident Marian Wegiel was accused of forcing himself on a horse, having been found with “much of his arm inside the animal’s vagina.”
Wegiel explained at the time that he was merely comforting the horsie–which belonged to his neighbor– who he claimed to have heard “cry out in distress.” His neighbor somehow did not buy the story that this was an accidental fisting with no malice intended and pressed charges that included cruelty to animals, fourth-degree sexual assault, third-degree criminal trespass and second-degree breach of peace.
Today, Wegiel showed up in court, where his lawyer argued that just as Wall Street has often been a victim of the media sensationalism that’s led to a demonizing of the industry, so too has Wegs. If we strip away the bull shit, nothing that serious actually went down here.
“If this was a guy and a sheep in Litchfield, and I’ve had a few of those cases, this would not have gotten nearly the media attention it has,” said Ralph Crozier, who represents 63-year-old Marian Wegiel.
“But I guess because a horse is higher off the ground it leaves a little more to the imagination.”
I don’t actually know how the height of the horse is relevant here but somehow it works. Goldman et al are advised to give Crozier a call, in case they want an attorney who gets them.
Lawyer for man accused of sexually assaulting horse says story has been overhyped [CT Post]
so fisting a sheep is the NKI?
so fisting a sheep is the NKI?
I don’t get this guy’s point. How does the height of the animal affect what gets left to the imagination?
“If we strip away the bull shit, nothing that serious actually went down here.”
I see what you did there…
“Wegiel explained at the time that he was merely comforting the animal…”
This man knows horses inside and out.
Whereas the Connecticut man was caught with much of his arm inside the horse’s vagina, wall street is typically caught with much of their head up the horse’s ass.
Whereas the Connecticut man was caught with much of his arm inside the horse’s vagina, wall street is typically caught with much of their head up the horse’s ass.
white people problems…
white people problems…
white people problems…
check what color the horse is, it may be a hate crime
check what color the horse is, it may be a hate crime
Marian,
Call me.
-SJP
Marian,
Call me.
-SJP
My litany of possible replies caused me to repeatedly examine my motives. I learned something.
You have to be really demented to sexually assault a horse.
was he also able to hold a cup?
So this guy is not a veternarian?
Wait until MT and his congressional aide buddies get wind of this…
The outcome of this case could have implications for the husbands/boyfriends of the Noel sisters.
So sheep fisting in Litchfield is an everyday occurrence?
Hmm….seems someone
got caught “red handed”…
with their “hand in the cookie jar”…
What do you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse’s vagina? A mechanic!!
Which is hotter, hoses or horses?
I say hoses.
- Ping
We call it semenal retrieval, you bastard!!
So this guy brings in a horse with a fist in it’s vagina. I don’t know what its worth so I am going to bring in an expert to take a look, but if this thing checks out, I just gotta have it!
Rick Harrison
Pawn Stars
Las Vegas, NV
So… f!st-f^cking an animal is only
“fourth-degree sexual assault”?
I’d hate to see the rest of the scale …
How do you know if your horse is gay? When you’re banging him in the ass, you reach around and he’s got a hard-on.
-Jackie the Jokeman
To be fair, the horse was asking for it.
Suddenly, I feel the need to comfort my secretary
We think he eats meat, actually.
-AIG “Event Driven” Quant
And he was only going 35 miles per hour.
-Connecticut Center for Excuses
Did this guy ever trade energies?
Wegs,
Call me when you’re out. I think we might have something for you here.
-MW
I love you for this comment.
Here’s how I got a black eye while golfing. I was at the 16th hole of Lochnivar, you know, by the cow pasture wher the cows come up to the fence for treats even though the course frowns on it and I saw some ladies following us and one hit a ball that, by the sound landed somewhere near me so I started looking around for it. After a while the lady who hit the ball came up and I told her i had been looking all this time for her ball but it was like it just disappeared and she started looking too. Some time went by and a cow went by and I looked and there under the cow’s tail was the ball resting in the cow’s vag and I lifted up the tail of the cow and innocently just said, “Hey lady! Does this one look like yours?” …well, you know what happened then.
The lawyer is incompetent. He should have simply said, “Its a small neighborhood” and left it at that. That’s what Goldman instructs their people to do when media types try to make a big deal over little things like this.
You’re hired!
-Ping Capital HR
I feel like I have been knighted! Thanks!
-”Connecticut Center for Excuses” Guy
Every time a lame Ping comment is made a 1st year analyst get’s rejected at Marque and blows his bonus on a craigslist call girl only to get all forms of hepatitis.
It’s all fun and games until you marry a Noel sister.
“So you got hepatitis-B??? You should have got a hepatitus-A!!”
-Domineering Father
What bonus, dickbag?
- 1st year analyst, Credit Suisse Equity Research
I aglee.
He sounds like a real “go getter”; I might have a position for him if he is interested.
- Irving Picard
More like a DIY horse gynecologist
+1
lacist.
lacist.
More importantly, did he find the G-spot?
Equestrian who thinks that the female orgasm is a myth.
What happens in CT, stays in CT.
At least it was a female horse. Not that anything’s wrong with that………
I know what happened, someone told you they don’t let ladies play at Lochinvar.
No – he first traded Options, then switched to Currencies.
Whats the age of horse-consent in CT? In MA he could marry the horse and it won’t be able to testify against him. If the horse was male this guy would be elected to congress for his courage in breaking down barriers. You anti-beastiality fear mongers.
Whats the age of horse-consent in CT? In MA he could marry the horse and it won’t be able to testify against him. If the horse was male this guy would be elected to congress for his courage in breaking down barriers. You anti-beastiality fear mongers.
That’s no big deal. That kind of things happens all the time around here.
-Jimmy Dean butcher.
Moose Fisting > Horse Fisting. Just sayin’.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO COMFORT HIM NOW…..