And what was this about?
No matter what your level of sobriety during last night’s game in Dallas, you should all be able to recall just how much the commercials sucked. From the Chevy that lets you get Facebook updates while driving to immediately confirm you’re a dipshit* who just found your soul-mate (i.e. a person who feels compelled to tell people she hasn’t spoken to in ten years she just went out on “the best first date ever”), to secondhand embarrassment for Eminem,** to ‘get hit in the balls with a can of Pepsi Max,’ they were all really, really bad. Even when there were flickers of something that had potential, like the licking Doritos off your co-workers’ fingers:
…which should’ve been great because probably most of you have a colleague who does that or, you imagine, harbors fantasies of doing something like that, it was just meh. Didn’t even register a smirk. The ‘guy taunting the pug’ spot, featuring the dude who should’ve had his entire face ripped off for using baby talk, maybe could win but it promotes small dogs which I’m not sure we can get behind. The ‘I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her” commercial was relatively okay (but what self-respecting male drinks diet soda?). The Bud Light kitchen renovation was probably the least offensive to humor. But that’s obviously grading on a curve. The only way I can trick my mind into thinking the ‘Adrien Brody sings to a bunch of women in a speakeasy‘ Stella commercial was funny is if I pretend a certain Stamfordian hedge fund manager was part of the audience too and shouted “woo! woo!” in enthusiastic applause at the end.***
All in all, this hilarity is what I really would’ve wanted to watch, on loop, for every commercial break.****
Please weigh in/commiserate now, if your PTSD doesn’t prevent you from doing so.
All The Super Bowl Commercials [YouTube]
*As if your facial hair wasn’t a clue.
**I’m aware of all the people who thought this was the greatest commercial ever made and I’m fearful for you.
***I actually have used this trick a bunch of times when I need to funny-up an otherwise unfunny situation or take it to the next level of funny for personal amusement. Like when I went to a birthday party at Medieval Times last year and pretended the knights/narrator/bar wenches/waiters were SAC traders trying to break into acting on the weekends and nearly pissed my pants in laughter. Highly recommend. (Mentally swapping your friends/other people you know into these scenarios works well, too.)
****It’s important to me that you don’t think I’m being sarcastic right now- I can’t stop pressing ‘play again’.
The Doritos commercial could have been an ad for things to expect when working with the GLBT community.
The Arizona SB 1070 pro-Lobby ad that had the illegal immigrant not knowing the words to the SSB.
or what to expect if you’re a homophobe and think all gay people want to fuck you.
How are we not talking about why Ashton Kutcher was sharing a box with George W Bush?
“Chrysler: Imported from Detroit”
We’re finally recognizing Detroit as a 3rd-world country.
‘NFL ad with classic TV was quality, though including Family Matters but not the Cosby Show was inexcusable.
This is like trying to pick out the best Scratch and Sniff marker in your Ping one-on-one.
sexy Sealy FTW
Such a testy reply. You’re quite the little pit bull, aren’t you? By the way, the “phobe” handle is idiotic. I don’t think fear is typically the cause of anti-gay comments. But keep on with your little tirade.
Oh, come on. The Chrysler ad was good.
The thumb-sucking Doritos ad was horrific. The resurrecting-grandpa Doritos ad was awesome.
I thought the Cowboys vs Aliens promo was satire…and still kind of suspect it was.
The popcorn ad with A-Rod has me boycotting popcorn.
What they didnt show was Em leaving the theatre, finding that car on blocks, then getting hit with a tire iron.
THAT would’ve been a good commercial.
Ozzy vs. Bieber was all right (come on pretty much anything with Ozzy is great), his “What’s a Bieber” statement was a good commentary on current pop culture.
The fact that a decrepit has-been like Ozzy would be used as a foil to a talentless fadboy is the real commentary on pop culture.
More Gawker-tinged Bess Levin please.
BTW I didn’t think that Facebook Chevy add was too bad, it targeted right to it’s demo. NYC 20-somethings not in Finance (ie real, decent people) who own cars :0)
You and I both know there are alot more people around who should be tagged dipshit status before people like this (like the doods in the Pepsi Max spit)
I don’t care what demo the ad targeted, I’m evaluating it for entertainment purposes. And no, I actually don’t think there are “a lot” more people who are bigger dipshits than someone who needs to get Facebook updates on the road.
“More Gawker-tinged Bess Levin please.”
thinking this was supposed to be a dig but I can’t figure out how. maybe you’re suggesting the post isn’t relevant? except that this is all people are talking about today.
no, the chevy add was “i just threw up in my mouth” horrible. this is not up for debate.
no, the chevy add was “i just threw up in my mouth” horrible. this is not up for debate.
I enjoyed the Groupon commercials…especially after reading the comments on Dealbook and realizing how offended all the NYTimes readers are with the Tibet reference.
I enjoyed the Groupon commercials…especially after reading the comments on Dealbook and realizing how offended all the NYTimes readers are with the Tibet reference.
thank you for using an emoticon and spelling dude ‘dood’ in the span of one comment. tells me all I need to know.
thank you for using an emoticon and spelling dude ‘dood’ in the span of one comment. tells me all I need to know.
Roseann…..if only
Roseann…..if only
my vote goes to the Pug commercial
-M. Vick
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……you STINK!
W is banging Demi?
After the poor basterd checked his Facebook in his Chevy, the look on his face changed from hopless desperation to complete happiness. “There is a God,” he thought to himself, “someone out there loves me. I don’t have to kill myself…yet.”
Later that night, he put away Old Blue, the name he had coined for his pistol. “Not tonight, friend,” he thought, with guarded optimism. “Not tonight.”
The VW Darth Vader Kid spot was damn good. The rest sucked out loud.
The VW Darth Vader Kid spot was damn good. The rest sucked out loud.
Bessar, no need to get angry, unless you are angry because its Monday and you are hungover which is why I am angry. Then it would be ok. I’m not saying, just saying.
Bessar, no need to get angry, unless you are angry because its Monday and you are hungover which is why I am angry. Then it would be ok. I’m not saying, just saying.
Bessar, no need to get angry, unless you are angry because its Monday and you are hungover which is why I am angry. Then it would be ok. I’m not saying, just saying.
Bessar, no need to get angry, unless you are angry because its Monday and you are hungover which is why I am angry. Then it would be ok. I’m not saying, just saying.
Bessar, no need to get angry, unless you are angry because its Monday and you are hungover which is why I am angry. Then it would be ok. I’m not saying, just saying.
Wouldn’t know, didn’t watch it.
-Proud Australian living in the USA
Wouldn’t know, didn’t watch it.
-Proud Australian living in the USA
Wouldn’t know, didn’t watch it.
-Proud Australian living in the USA
Wouldn’t know, didn’t watch it.
-Proud Australian living in the USA
Wouldn’t know, didn’t watch it.
-Proud Australian living in the USA
I thought the Motorola tablet commercial was clever, even though I doubt they will sell more than 7 of those things.
Get lost, wallaby
While I don’t disagree with this statement in the least, I do wonder how society would have reacted 20 years ago if there was an ad for a bluetooth enabled car.
What’s a “Super bowl”?
All I could gather from the ads was that, with the exception of some wierd animated thing apparently featuring a drugged-up reptilian Jimmy Buffet fan, every single “major motion picture” coming this year is a ripoff of “War of the Worlds” by way of “Independence Day.”
Has anyone figured out a way to short American pop culture in general?
Don’t look now but I think a dingo just ate your baby.
Definitely
Yeah, what is a moronic scumbag doing with a D-list actor?
We all may not agree with derp, but what he says lowers the trade deficit, and helps us win the future.
-Barry
We all may not agree with derp, but what he says lowers the trade deficit, and helps us win the future.
-Barry
We all may not agree with derp, but what he says lowers the trade deficit, and helps us win the future.
-Barry
We all may not agree with derp, but what he says lowers the trade deficit, and helps us win the future.
-Barry
Very good. My coworkers bought my a stufffed dingo.
-Australian living in the USA
Very good. My coworkers bought my a stufffed dingo.
-Australian living in the USA
I thought that 15 minute long spot for auto-tune was pretty convincing
I thought that 15 minute long spot for auto-tune was pretty convincing
At least Betty White didn’t make an appearance this year.
What?? it was just a dig on apple… it was a complete rip off of nearly every tech ad since the ’84 Mac ad.
Agreed. It’s not a true representation of Detroit if there is no mugging.
-guy that was mugged in Detroit
Is that you, Jerry Falwell? Or is it another douchebag that claims to speak for God?
Little Darth Vader was good. Caught the attention and captured the personality and mannerisms of kids, all without seeing the kid’s face. Nicely done.
Dorito guy taunting dog was slightly amusing but entirely predictable and too politically correct, with dog and female getting the upper hand over guy. Clearly, you can no longer make women (or animals) the butt of jokes… ever.
The Career Builder (?) advert with the guy parking and getting hit… that could have gone somewhere until they introduced monkeys. Don’t understand the fascination with monkeys, even if they are used to represent the simpletons we work with or the rat race. Monkeys are always stupid.
Ozzy is no longer amusing. He is old and bent (mentally) and using him is akin to making fun of retards, and we know we don’t and can’t make fun of re-TARDS. Ozzy is the politically correct stand in for developmentally disabled people. Too easy, too boring.
Way to make Detroit seem as dark and seedy and empty as it actually is. A rapper and a black choir, and in an empty theater? Nice. How about filming in the day, tossing in some kids, sunshine, flowers, quaint homes, happy auto workers, and talking about recovery and renewal? The commercial had one thinking, “Obama, can you NOT bail out Detroit auto next time” so we can hang out with little Darth Vader’s family in the pretty suburbs?
Was that Adrian Brody singing us to sleep?
Just really bad all around.
It was not a dig at all. It was a request actually. These posts add dimension to DB.
That would require there to be actual live people on the street in downtown Detroit.
What about the Groupon ads? Those were brilliant.
Wow, really?
Used to have one in my office on 6 every afternoon.
-James E. Cayne
Sephardic Beach, NJ
Used to have one in my office on 6 every afternoon.
-James E. Cayne
Sephardic Beach, NJ
I enjoyed the flower commercial where he has to write something special and she tells him just say what’s on your mine and he starts to type I love your Rack
Have you ever crammed it in the boot, Josh?
which witch is which?
Plenty of homeless on the streets of Detroit, also the mugging occured during DEMF.
And that’s bad, how?
unless you are a tibetian being oppressed or whale lover or forest lover
Anyone else catch Terry Bradshaw / Roger Staubach dropping the f-bomb during the post-game trophy presentation?
AT&T execs are probably still feeling a bit raw from the Verizon iphone ad – that counts for something.
As a Limey, I watched the Super Bowl ad free courtesy of the BBC. However as a pop culture nerd with a masochistic streak I watched most of them this morning anyway. The Chevy for social media whores was by far the worst. The way he said “Facebook news feed” made me instantly wish his made in America saloon would be side-swiped by a speeding semi.
Besides, surely the “best first date ever” would culminate in being ploughed by someone less doughy, and who looks up to (i) maintaining an erection (ii) partaking in said ploughing without crying.
Concurred.
I was mugged in Detroit in 2005. You and I are basically blood brothers.
But sometimes, it is just so beautiful that you HAVE to cry.
Amirite?
Tear-lubed shagging is third date material.
funnier the first time…
sex with that guy = 45 seconds of sex, 30 mins of crying (by both parties).
The asterisks took this post from v good to Bess Levin awesome. Esp *** and ****.
No one thought the $6M Audi commercial was slightly amusing?
agreed
I am cramming my secretary in the boot right now!
That ad was TERRIBLE. I can’t believe they spent a small fortune licensing the Darth Vader music and image, to advertise the fact that the car has a remote key… A technology which has been around for at least 10 years. The Star Wars ad was the only one I had high hopes for, and it was all for nothing.
That ad was TERRIBLE. I can’t believe they spent a small fortune licensing the Darth Vader music and image, to advertise the fact that the car has a remote key… A technology which has been around for at least 10 years. The Star Wars ad was the only one I had high hopes for, and it was all for nothing.
Ah, you’re right. How could I forget that classic roofies ad “If you want sex before date three, you better give her a little of me”.
I was surprised they could get away with that… (I mean, with saying that.)
How do not like monkeys? What kind of commie fascist are you?
Thanks. I was beginning to think I was the only one. Remote start? Why not license ET to highlight the fact that the car has electric windows? And the smug yuppie parents would have killed the effect, anyway.
The point was that it wasn’t clever and really mediocre, unoriginal.
The point was that it wasn’t clever and really mediocre, unoriginal.
Agreed. Letting their kid think he accomplished something when really he’s just some little dipshit running around in a costume. Amy Chua was on to something after all. These people are pathetic.
Agreed. Letting their kid think he accomplished something when really he’s just some little dipshit running around in a costume. Amy Chua was on to something after all. These people are pathetic.
“Dorito guy taunting dog was slightly amusing but entirely predictable and too politically correct, with dog and female getting the upper hand over guy. Clearly, you can no longer make women (or animals) the butt of jokes… ever. ”
yeah wtf?!
-m vick
“Dorito guy taunting dog was slightly amusing but entirely predictable and too politically correct, with dog and female getting the upper hand over guy. Clearly, you can no longer make women (or animals) the butt of jokes… ever. ”
yeah wtf?!
-m vick
“Dorito guy taunting dog was slightly amusing but entirely predictable and too politically correct, with dog and female getting the upper hand over guy. Clearly, you can no longer make women (or animals) the butt of jokes… ever. ”
yeah wtf?!
-m vick
“Dorito guy taunting dog was slightly amusing but entirely predictable and too politically correct, with dog and female getting the upper hand over guy. Clearly, you can no longer make women (or animals) the butt of jokes… ever. ”
yeah wtf?!
-m vick
I liked the one where the beaver saves the guy from crossing the bridge, mainly because I like beaver.
Don’t care.
It would have been great if the jam it in the boot commercial played right before the Kim Kardashian gratuitous butt shot commercial
That’s our point exactly.
M. Benz
Just got it….Thanks, Timmy.
The front shot of Josh with the 12′ sandwich between his legs made me self conscious about my 12″ subway..
The front shot of Josh with the 12′ sandwich between his legs made me self conscious about my 12″ subway..
The front shot of Josh with the 12′ sandwich between his legs made me self conscious about my 12″ subway..
The front shot of Josh with the 12′ sandwich between his legs made me self conscious about my 12″ subway..
Don’t give a shit.
Ask Snopp Dogg.
Ask Snopp Dogg.
Audi jailbreak FTW
Why did the cowboys start singing “Tiny Dancer”? That just doesn’t make sense???
How’s the therapy working out for ya?
It works out pretty well for advertisers because the unemployed, robe wearing, live-off-the-people “oppressed” Tibetan monk demographic, combined with the fawn, fairy, sprite and 3 bear forest demographic is pretty small, and dwarfed by people who don’t give a shit.
Chip, meet shoulder.
Long pharma
I’m hoping that was sarcasm on guest’s part?
“when I went to a birthday party at Medieval Times last year”
god damn it, bess levin. MARRY ME.
“when I went to a birthday party at Medieval Times last year”
god damn it, bess levin. MARRY ME.
Hit ‘em with some Kenny G
Hit ‘em with some Kenny G
Hit ‘em with some Kenny G
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