Someone who can relate.
A London-based banker has written to the Financial Times with a problem related to her hotness. She says:
I know that you will think this problem is mad, but I fear I’m too good looking for corporate life. As a student I used my looks to make money modelling, but now that I’m in the City I feel they are holding me back. Female colleagues distrust me, while male colleagues are drawn to me, but don’t take me very seriously. My boss has told me that I need to network more. But I find networking events are ghastly, with all the eager men dribbling over me. What can I do, short of turning up to work in a bin liner?
Banker, female, 27
The FT‘s columnist, Lucy Kellaway, will respond on April 13. In the meantime, should you have any pearls of wisdom to offer on this matter, being too sexy for the biz yourself or having coached a colleague through a similar situation in the past, please share them at this time.
Am I Too Beautiful For The City? [FT via BI]
fake a pregnancy
I hear Charlie Sheen needs a new PM…
Bin liner? Is that Brit speak for garbage bag?
my great looks never stopped my from piercing the glass ceiling…
~ MW
5 large says she’s nowhere near as hot as she thinks.
Quit wasting company time asking random columnists for advice and get back to work.
Problem solved.
Next?
Not taking that. they never are. Likely third-tier Asian used to pulling uber-nerds.
Not taking that. they never are. Likely third-tier Asian used to pulling uber-nerds.
Not taking that. they never are. Likely third-tier Asian used to pulling uber-nerds.
Bukkake, baby, bukkake.
I used a similar line back in high school: “Do I have too much girth to date high school girls? Or should I just stick to the college chicks and Dominican chicks that I have been seeing lately?”
Just sue them.
XOXO,
Slorenza
Maybe the problem isn’t that you’re “too good looking” it’s that you suck at your job and think the reason no one takes you seriously is that you’re too hot, when it’s that you’re an idiot.
Just spitballing here.
boo hoo…get a boyfriend/husband and bring him around a few times…problem solved
now break me off a piece for my fee
Do you have your A-Levels?
bin liner?? cant think, penis standing up
oscar t. grouch
bin liner?? cant think, penis standing up
oscar t. grouch
i fuckin hate you
i fuckin hate you
Step#1: Bleach your anus.
Step#1: Bleach your anus.
Step#1: Bleach your anus.
Step#1: Bleach your anus.
Step#1: Bleach your anus.
Just starting corporate job at 27, so you’re probably correct.
Just starting corporate job at 27, so you’re probably correct.
Just starting corporate job at 27, so you’re probably correct.
Just starting corporate job at 27, so you’re probably correct.
Ms. Hotness,
Are you looking to be someone’s slam-piece? I know this guy, he has a Chase debit card and is about as far up his own ass as you are, so you already have something in common.
Ms. Hotness,
Are you looking to be someone’s slam-piece? I know this guy, he has a Chase debit card and is about as far up his own ass as you are, so you already have something in common.
Ms. Hotness,
Are you looking to be someone’s slam-piece? I know this guy, he has a Chase debit card and is about as far up his own ass as you are, so you already have something in common.
Ms. Hotness,
Are you looking to be someone’s slam-piece? I know this guy, he has a Chase debit card and is about as far up his own ass as you are, so you already have something in common.
Ms. Hotness,
Are you looking to be someone’s slam-piece? I know this guy, he has a Chase debit card and is about as far up his own ass as you are, so you already have something in common.
My desk moved
My desk moved
My desk moved
My desk moved
she’s got bigger hips than Maria and after pushing a kid through those things she will quickly resemble a pear…
she’s got bigger hips than Maria and after pushing a kid through those things she will quickly resemble a pear…
she’s got bigger hips than Maria and after pushing a kid through those things she will quickly resemble a pear…
she’s got bigger hips than Maria and after pushing a kid through those things she will quickly resemble a pear…
she’s got bigger hips than Maria and after pushing a kid through those things she will quickly resemble a pear…
she’s got bigger hips than Maria and after pushing a kid through those things she will quickly resemble a pear…
I have the same problem.
-Nails
FYI- that’s not a stock photo that’s actually her.
http://www.google.com/images?q=debrahlee+lorenzana&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1680&bih=937
Just give this woman a reality show so she can stop whining
Fancy a move to Nebraska? I expect to have openings in corporate compliance.
- WB
As a student I used my looks to make money modelling…
i.e. used craigslist to earn some extra income.
that’s not the girl who wrote the letter.
Well, for starters, she’ll want to cross off her list Milan, New York, and Japan.
Sev.
There is a minority of the IB sisterhood who do attempt to coast by batting their eyelashes at peers/staffers. This can lead to a situation where no-one will rely on ANY attractive female peer for anything important. Hence inferor experience, hence lower pay/promotions (unless of course you really get the group head in your thrall). I’ve seen it happen in more than one group. I’ve also seen it make not the slightest difference, in groups where the multi-talented (as it were) pull their weight and no-one’s playing games.
Also, you don’t have to wear a bin-liner but you might consider wearing a suit, instead of a figure hugging party dress.
Oswald, why the long face?
No HB required
No HB required
I know exactly what you are going through. I had the same experience, just that it was in everyday life and not just at work. I finally accepted the fact that I am every man’s desire, and decided to go out in public modeling clothing. The amazing thing is that no matter what I wear, the outfit looks good because of me. My life has been amazing since my epiphany.
My work life, home life, and public life have flourished as a result.
-L. Falcone
P.S. Marry a guy just as he starts to smell success. That way you get in before prenups.
Peter Thiel said I was too hot for the business so I bent over and took it like a man.
I often have a problem when giving presentations pertaining to highly complex synthetic CLO products and people become so fixated on the outline of my gigantic 14 inch penis that flows down my pant leg and is simply just impossible to conceal. Then add in the occasional momentary sensation of my silk suit pants glancing the head of my member just right, making it stiffen, only makes matters worse. Then I start drifting off myself, replaying last night’s fucking session whereupon I plowed a barn door through my secretary’s ass and now all of a sudden I’m pitching a tent the size of a Thanksgiving turkey in front of these completely distracted bankers. At the receptions afterwards, the men are all intimidated and jealous of me, so they exclude me from their power conversations, while women are constantly offering to “show me theirs” if I show them mine. How can I just get people to take me seriously in this business, short of showing up to work with my dick hidden up my own ass?
Banker, male, 29
I often have a problem when giving presentations pertaining to highly complex synthetic CLO products and people become so fixated on the outline of my gigantic 14 inch penis that flows down my pant leg and is simply just impossible to conceal. Then add in the occasional momentary sensation of my silk suit pants glancing the head of my member just right, making it stiffen, only makes matters worse. Then I start drifting off myself, replaying last night’s fucking session whereupon I plowed a barn door through my secretary’s ass and now all of a sudden I’m pitching a tent the size of a Thanksgiving turkey in front of these completely distracted bankers. At the receptions afterwards, the men are all intimidated and jealous of me, so they exclude me from their power conversations, while women are constantly offering to “show me theirs” if I show them mine. How can I just get people to take me seriously in this business, short of showing up to work with my dick hidden up my own ass?
Banker, male, 29
Those hips don’t lie!
-Shakira
Those hips don’t lie!
-Shakira
Those hips don’t lie!
-Shakira
Those hips don’t lie!
-Shakira
Those hips don’t lie!
-Shakira
Those hips don’t lie!
-Shakira
Two solutions –
1 – Go work for a news network (Fox? you’ll fit right in, CNBC? maybe, you should surprise people and go to Bloomberg TV – you’ll be their hottest anchor ever).
2 – How about playing down your appearance? Easy as pie.
Google “tits on a stick” and you’ll realize why no one takes her seriously.
You are wrong.
I would part those wizard sleeves like the god damned Red Sea!
Nothing another, younger girl in the office can’t cure. 27? Please. You’ll be over the hill by tomorrow.
It was a typo. What she said was “work for bin Laden” as Al Qaeda takes a more progressive ideological stance toward women in the work place.
Whore.
Preacha tellin the truth and it hurts!
Preacha tellin the truth and it hurts!
Preacha tellin the truth and it hurts!
Preacha tellin the truth and it hurts!
Preacha tellin the truth and it hurts!
Pics or GTFO
Pics or GTFO
Pics or GTFO
Pics or GTFO
Pics or GTFO
Marry a professional wrestler and start your own firm.
-Person Who Married a Professional Wrestler and Started a Firm
Marry a professional wrestler and start your own firm.
-Person Who Married a Professional Wrestler and Started a Firm
christ cluzo, the chick in the pic is debra lee, NOT the one writing.
She’s a BSE Hons
Dear Madam,
We have reviewed your credentials and you have 3 options career choices.
1) Porn
2) Gold Digger
3) Severe Facial Trauma
Personally we recommend career path 3, but hey, who are we to judge.
-FT Editorial Staff
Anyone suggest PR, HR or the nametag makers for conferences?
You could start a financial blog that is both witty and tactful, with the hopes of one day garnering the devout following of millions of financiers around the globe. However, this would require you to have the aforementioned characteristics.
Eventually this would lead to a knock down drag out fight between you and the Queen Bee herself, similar to the closing scenes of the fighter, where you will undoubtedly get TKO by the grand master, Bess “the Punisher” Levin.
My advice to you, fill out an application at beamers over on this side of the pond, they’re doing well and bonus season just finished a few months back. I heard they tip in quarters over there so make sure you have plenty of room in that ass, which shouldn’t be a problem once you pull your head out from it.
Nicely done.
She is too hot for banking. What else we got? Meredith Witney? Erin Callan? That said, she isn’t really that hot at all. Lose about 25 lbs (but keep the rack).
She is too hot for banking. What else we got? Meredith Witney? Erin Callan? That said, she isn’t really that hot at all. Lose about 25 lbs (but keep the rack).
She is too hot for banking. What else we got? Meredith Witney? Erin Callan? That said, she isn’t really that hot at all. Lose about 25 lbs (but keep the rack).
if even that was true, that’s not all that hot. I mean, I’m totally used to 9-10 slam pieces w/ the occasional 8…
-Guy who’s chase debit card is near maxed out.
if even that was true, that’s not all that hot. I mean, I’m totally used to 9-10 slam pieces w/ the occasional 8…
-Guy who’s chase debit card is near maxed out.
if even that was true, that’s not all that hot. I mean, I’m totally used to 9-10 slam pieces w/ the occasional 8…
-Guy who’s chase debit card is near maxed out.
too obvious…
too obvious…
The woman in the photo is Deborah Lee Lorenza, formerly of Citi, who had a similar issue.
The woman in the photo is Deborah Lee Lorenza, formerly of Citi, who had a similar issue.
If she lost 25 pounds she would a stick
If she lost 25 pounds she would a stick
I get the sense, just from reading your post, that you and I would not like one another.
I get the sense, just from reading your post, that you and I would not like one another.
I get the sense, just from reading your post, that you and I would not like one another.
I get the sense, just from reading your post, that you and I would not like one another.
Maybe banking is just not your calling then. I would like to review your resume and would consider your spread as a possibility. Please forward a CV and we can set up a meeting at my office.
-Peter North
Furiously good looking enough to start self abuse?
Cool story, bro?
the world needs ditch diggers too………
~ Judge Smails
If that picture is her…I’d like to place my high interest bearing yield in her spread IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
That being said, her vagina looks like it smells like a French trout fish farm during the summer. So…Lights on, hockey mask, clothes pin, doggy style, rubber gloves to grip her huge ass, Cigar, 6 pack of coors light, and a lasso.
Yea. She should do something more productive like comment on DB, no?
-Guy who hopes the company hasn’t installed a web traffic tracker
pics or it didn’t happen
Hi, breasts on a stick, great to see you again.
Hi, breasts on a stick, great to see you again.
aka Tits on a Stick
aka Tits on a Stick
muriatic acid should do the trick, trick
Where’s the lights on guy?
Guy who likes Dealbreaker memes, but other than that I have no concerns.
Where’s the lights on guy?
Guy who likes Dealbreaker memes, but other than that I have no concerns.
Where’s the lights on guy?
Guy who likes Dealbreaker memes, but other than that I have no concerns.
Where’s the lights on guy?
Guy who likes Dealbreaker memes, but other than that I have no concerns.
Meet me at Taco Bell’s, Penn station. I will have my Vineyard Vines whale present at all times so you know its me.
- Guy trolling ass at Taco Bell
Just bend over baby…..I’ll take your advice any day!
Bill Clinton and Elliott Spitzer
Just bend over baby…..I’ll take your advice any day!
Bill Clinton and Elliott Spitzer
This is why girls like this are working at CNBC.
This is why girls like this are working at CNBC.
It blows my mind that you hyphenate “no one.”
very well played
- guy who will be using the user name “hopelessly hung” from now on
She did crash through the glass ceiling on the way down but it was not due to her weight
nice one bro
-Lexington Steele
Whats the phrase….Golden Knee pads?
Or the Storage Wars guy…
-Guy who likes to bring up DB regulars who would have a tough time applying said theme to this story
Am pretty girl. Don’t have to be productive.
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
1. Fuck your way to the top
2. ?????????
3. Lawsuit
4. Profit
They could use a girl like her at UBS….just saying
Would definitely add a new dimension to “UBS sucks”!!!
Lights on, shades drawn, Citi pitchbook on her back, UBS analyst reviewing our positions, Scream mask on me, mirror infront of her.
Spandex?
Spandex?
You’re doing god’s work. Come collect your prize for this post. Meet me at Minetta’s. Wear a bin liner so I know it’s you.
She would be perfect for fund of funds sales and/or due diligence.
I concur. Any guy that would require her to drop 25 lbs. is closeted. What she needs to lose is the attitude.
I complete agree with this, actually. In my previous role at a big Swiss bank (not CS), I definitely noticed that. There were some girls who would try to get by on their looks alone and were basically empty suits (but damn good looking ones) and then other desks, usually the ones with more women, may have been more moderate in their looks but no one cared as everyone was just trying to make money.
Aren’t all of those options the same thing?
- confused about the distinction between the people who take care of trivial items
how do you max out a debit card? you max out a credit card or spend all you cash in the bank acct using a debit card.
are you sure you’re old enough to get a bank account?
You must be new here. Where is the Joke Briefer?
All I have is a coffee mug… will that suffice?
I want to know what the hotel receipt guy is going to say.
I want to know what the hotel receipt guy is going to say.
Clearly all the furious masturbating has caused short term memory losses.
Clearly all the furious masturbating has caused short term memory losses.
Not too hot for private equity, surely.
- Lynn Tilton
Don’t worry, with time your face will get wrinkly and your boobs will sag. problem solved
no one has made a ‘just wait for the seamlessweb.com thirty to kick in’ joke?
wtf dealbreaker???
Marry me, that will make people take you seriously.
xoxo
Marry me, that will make people take you seriously.
xoxo
Marry me, that will make people take you seriously.
xoxo
Marry me, that will make people take you seriously.
xoxo
UBS sucks!
UBS sucks!
UBS sucks!
UBS sucks!
Goddamnit I just laughed way too hard for the office. Need to put up productive-looking screens now.
Take out those implants.
Chits ona tic
Riiight. Would love to see what you’re weighing in at buddy.
Riiight. Would love to see what you’re weighing in at buddy.
Riiight. Would love to see what you’re weighing in at buddy.
Just remember, British hot is WAAAAAAY different than US hot. Straight teeth and no horse face is automatically an 8.
Just remember, British hot is WAAAAAAY different than US hot. Straight teeth and no horse face is automatically an 8.
Considering she’s British, the solution is very simple: Transfer to NYC. She’ll immidiately drop from a 9 to a 6 and everyone will think she’s way, way smarter than she actually is on account of the accent
Considering she’s British, the solution is very simple: Transfer to NYC. She’ll immidiately drop from a 9 to a 6 and everyone will think she’s way, way smarter than she actually is on account of the accent
Obviously spending all his money on bottles and models, with no credit card float…
Obviously spending all his money on bottles and models, with no credit card float…
Long time, 3rd time.
-Other than that I have no concerns.
CFA exam in 2 months…instant cred!
Or speak in sentences.
So these tits on a stick come into the shop wearing a bin liner. I’m not sure how much this is worth so I am going to call one of my experts. All I know is that if this thing checks out, I just gotta have it.
Rick Harrison
Pawn Stars
Las Vegas NV
bang ur way to the top
Does he need to get a tattoo that says “Hard Ride” on his lower ab?
Guest: I like the cut of your jib. You complete me.
I see how it is
-Ron Jeremy
Don’t you mean get back on your knees?
God bless you for that, Midnightrider…I needed a good laugh!
God bless you for that, Midnightrider…I needed a good laugh!
I was told by HR that I’m just too damn good looking to continue working in Fixed Income… I was intimidating other analysts with my boyband looks and knowledge of IR. Now been relocated to Operations (holla back-office, you know we run shit!).
Don’t believe me? See for yourselves. Ladies, feel free to contact me.
http://tinypic.com/r/2q9f7kw/7
Could do. But won’t it look like “Ha de” when he’s happy to see me?
If you’re really hot, a bin liner will not solve your problems. I have a designer bin liner that I wear to parties. I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures…
L. Falcone
My advice to any MD thinking of letting her sleep her way up…I’d double bin liner it.