As most of civilized society knows, it’s considered pretty classless to mistreat waiters or waitresses, and a pretty fool-proof indication of your character. In fact, there’s only one acceptable way to act like an insufferable prick to a person waiting on you, and that’s beginning a meal by whipping out a stack of singles and telling the server, “Let’s establish something. You are, I assume, expecting a tip? This pile of one dollar bills represents your potential tip. Every time you please me, you’ll see the pile grow. However, if I am unsatisfied– if you are slow, mouthy, or sneeze into your hands– you’ll notice the pile shrinking. Alright? Good luck.” This was not how a young Bill Gross went about things, based on an anecdote he recounts in his latest letter to investors called “The Day When I Gave the Waitress a Negative Tip.”
The Gross family legend is rather full of Paul Bunyan tall tales passed down over the years but none perhaps more self- revealing than “The Day When I Gave the Waitress a Negative Tip.” Admittedly I was young and full of testosterone but the service was terribly sloooww and I was in a big hurrrryyy! Finally presented with a $2.00 bill, I took two bucks and wrote the following on a nearby napkin: “Thanks for the sh…ty service, negative tip – you owe me 25 cents.” I didn’t stick around to see the reaction, but I’m sure it was a unique experience for the young lady. I was, of course, like any 21-year-old, in the business of establishing a repertoire of “unique” experiences and this was but one notch on my Paul Bunyan Axe.
Meaning there are more stories like this one? Must we wait until next month to hear them?
So the moral of the story is that if you dont want to grow up to be a creepy, rich old man who tells investors about the thoughts he has while shitting… you should nail the waitress instead of not tipping them?
Bring back the ‘Stache!
Otherwise I have no concerns
What a douche.
Gee, BG being a prick to somons? Shockingly I’m not surprised
When I was young this waitress gave me this look, you know. So I took the knife and made her smile. Few years later I killed few hookers, but what the fuck I’m not bragging about this nonsense to my clients.
Financial predators like to play with their food.
His ex lovers have to sleep with two men at a time to make up for “lost time” with him
-Dick Fulds Five
he says it like he is proud of it, and glad his son is following in his footsteps. what a POS. when his fund underperforms because of macro factors he can’t control, i hope someone takes all incentive income away from him and gives him a bill for 25% of what it would have been if things had gone well.
The Day When Nails Wrote a Check…
The Day When Nails Wrote a Check…
I’m sure when the waitress saw the original stack of bills and got the lecture, she added a few pubes to his burger. I declare her the winner.
I’m sure when the waitress saw the original stack of bills and got the lecture, she added a few pubes to his burger. I declare her the winner.
how do multiple r’s and y’s indicate a hurry? Slowww i get but how the hell do you say hurrrryyyy. Sounds like Serena Williams describing her pits.
Where is Ping when we really need him?
Was it a good looking waitress?
so he cocked her out of the 30 cents/15% ? ……what era was this.
this explains the ‘stache’?
I see that your math skills are on par with your reading comprehension skills. He stiffed her for a quarter, which is 12.5%.
almost as good as the story about the Horizon Asset Management president who says that he fished a quarter out of a copy machine with a fishing line
That’s the part that I found the most off-putting– that he definitely sounded proud of the story and not really remorseful at all (and then brags that this was par for the course for him back then?). Also, 21 years old is old enough to know how to treat people decently.
Typical Wall Street douchebag. Finds it easier to berate a woman than to talk to her like a real man. Bill Gross, you can kiss my ass.
Is it me or is this guy coming unglued? Lot of crazy rants lately, he may be on something.
WTF. Tip is not a right. It has to be earned. Way to go BG.Stiff the waiters
WTF. Tip is not a right. It has to be earned. Way to go BG.Stiff the waiters
WTF. Tip is not a right. It has to be earned. Way to go BG.Stiff the waiters
$50 says Bill Gross hadn’t ever been laid at the age of 21.
When was Bill Gross ever full of testosterone ? His voice has never changed and I don't even think his balls have dropped. Also, I think his number 2 guy was my cab driver last night; he took the West Side Highway instead of just going down Broadway; I left him a 'Negative Tip' (i.e. I ran without paying the fare. That'll teach him.