If anyone out there is considering starting a hedge fund, there’s a few things you should know. Don’t want to scare anyone but…okay we’re just going to come out and say it- according to reports, “gone are the days when a trader could leave some Wall Street firm with a few of his buddies, snap his fingers and raise several hundred million dollars overnight.” Now, you might have to spend six months to a year raising money and not only that? You’re going to have to make it through several rounds of due diligence by potential investors. You may also have to come face to face with a guy named Neil Chelo who some people (Neil) like to call The Enforcer.

Chelo honed his craft while working for Madoff nemesis Harry Markopolos (who last year nominated Chelo to pose for the cover of Playgirl). Now as the director of research for Washington-based fund of funds Benchmark Plus, he tears apart potential investments with his bare hands and/or vicious rhetoric and line of questioning. “I’m not a conference room type of guy,” Chelo says “It’s very easy for people to fake it for two hours in a conference room, but it’s a lot more difficult if you are at their desk going through their portfolio.”

During a recent visit to a West Coast hedge fund that Benchmark was considering investing in, he found one of the fund’s top portfolio managers woefully unprepared to explain why she was shorting, or betting on a decline in the price of several stocks. Chelo said the trader and her team of analysts hadn’t done sufficient research on the stocks for him to get comfortable with the notion of committing money to the hedge fund. When Chelo walked out the door, he didn’t look back.

You’ve been warned.

How Investors Turned The Table On Hedge Funds [Reuters]

Comments (39)

  1. Posted by Rajat | March 17, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    I am also a great trader

  2. Posted by Rajat | March 17, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    I am also a great trader

  3. Posted by Rick James | March 17, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Coldddd Bloodedddd

  4. Posted by Rick James | March 17, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Coldddd Bloodedddd

  5. Posted by CoveredLong | March 17, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    Neil, don’t tell me it’s very easy to fake it in a conference room for two hours after we spent the last two hours together in a conference room.

    -Grandma Chelo

  6. Posted by NYRebel | March 17, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Nice tags Bess. We are done here….
    - Neil

  7. Posted by Anonymous | March 17, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Neil Chelo is also known as “La Flama Blanca”

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbf9is0f2J1qd0z3co15_r1_500.jpg

  8. Posted by Anonymous | March 17, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Neil Chelo is also known as “La Flama Blanca”

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbf9is0f2J1qd0z3co15_r1_500.jpg

  9. Posted by Guest | March 17, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    He’s so tough, he made the E*TRADE baby cry.

  10. Posted by Guest | March 17, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    People keep telling me I should doodellgence, but I don’t know wtf they’re talking about. Who wants to trade a hand job for a billion dollar investment?

    -Every FOF and Pension Fund Manager

  11. Posted by guest | March 17, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Women.

  12. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | March 17, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Neil Chelo is the fuckin’ rake

  13. Posted by guest | March 17, 2011 at 3:34 PM

    Asking tough questions before handing over tons of money is the NKI.

  14. Posted by Quant from Bronx | March 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    what the heck is Bentley University???

  15. Posted by Confucius | March 17, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    I find it exceedingly hard to make an extended “D” sound

  16. Posted by Gozer | March 17, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    When in preschool Chelo once asked the art teacher why mixing red paint and green paint make brown. Chelo said the teacher and her aids hadn’t done sufficient research on arts and crafts to get him comfortable with the notion of committing to making a macaroni tie. When Chelo walked out the door, he didn’t look back.

  17. Posted by Gozer | March 17, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    When in preschool Chelo once asked the art teacher why mixing red paint and green paint make brown. Chelo said the teacher and her aids hadn’t done sufficient research on arts and crafts to get him comfortable with the notion of committing to making a macaroni tie. When Chelo walked out the door, he didn’t look back.

  18. Posted by I Am An Idiot | March 17, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    Chelo will cut a bitch if he has to, trust me, I know.

    /Anthony Carchelo

  19. Posted by East German | March 17, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    He’s so tough he defected INTO East Germany.

  20. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | March 17, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    “Madoff nemesis Harry Markopolos ” – My knowledge of Greek mythology is weak. Was Nemesis the divine spirit that found evil doers and then mumbled ineffectually to itself in the corner?

  21. Posted by Danielle Chiesi | March 17, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Trust me its not easy to fake it in a conference room for two hours

  22. Posted by Danielle Chiesi | March 17, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Trust me its not easy to fake it in a conference room for two hours

  23. Posted by Stinkdyr | March 17, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    Can we get him to inspect a few nukular reactors?

  24. Posted by Captain Obvious | March 17, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Tuff guys without manners works in finance…groundbreaking

  25. Posted by Captain Obvious | March 17, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Tuff guys without manners works in finance…groundbreaking

  26. Posted by Gram Her | March 17, 2011 at 7:43 PM

    It is like this “duh-duh-duh-duh”
    -LEH Grammar Quant

  27. Posted by Guest | March 17, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    You’ve been acting shady lately. Don’t make me go all Chelo on you.

  28. Posted by Guest | March 17, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    You’ve been acting shady lately. Don’t make me go all Chelo on you.

  29. Posted by Guest | March 17, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    Huh…short crew cut, white shirt and black blazer…after reading that article I really expected someone that doesn’t look like an angry nerd accountant.

  30. Posted by Guest | March 17, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    Huh…short crew cut, white shirt and black blazer…after reading that article I really expected someone that doesn’t look like an angry nerd accountant.

  31. Posted by Flowbee | March 17, 2011 at 8:13 PM

    “When Chelo walked out the door, he didn’t look back.”

    And his barber sighed in relief

  32. Posted by Jimmy | March 17, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    I am absolutely sure this guy’s fund sucks, and will continue to suck.

  33. Posted by Finn Alexander | March 18, 2011 at 12:58 AM

    And wet his diaper

  34. Posted by Asdf | March 18, 2011 at 1:35 AM

    damn that guy’s f@cking ugly!

  35. Posted by Blarney Franks | March 18, 2011 at 3:22 AM

    Chelo is just the man we need for the cover of playboy

    - Barney Frank

  36. Posted by Jeffrey Hoffman | March 18, 2011 at 4:54 AM

    he had previously tried walking out the door while looking back without success

  37. Posted by Your Mamma | March 18, 2011 at 8:44 PM

    If he was so fcking smart, he would not be working at a second tier BS shop like benchmark which got creamed in 2008….

  38. Posted by Mr. Bob Dobalina | March 18, 2011 at 9:13 PM

    Neil Chelo is so tough he made Chuck Norris cry, leave the hedge fund business and take up easier targets like international terrorists.

  39. Posted by chellojello | October 12, 2011 at 4:36 AM

    what happened to all the great comments?

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