Working on Wall Street, odds are you’ve been informed by Human Resources of certain behaviors that are not (officially) tolerated by the firm, especially those that would fall under the umbrella of sexual harassment. The Do’s and Don’ts were probably reviewed in a training session or online on your own but for some people, who have trouble grasping the concept of why grasping (or doing anything to) the ass of a colleague is frowned upon, a more comprehensive tutorial is necessary. In some cases, in fact, you may have coworkers who need to watch a whole film about sexual harassment before the idea penetrates. The demand for such narratives is demonstrated in an educational flick presumably produced by some sort of employment group entitled “Harassment On The Trading Floor,” A Play In Two Acts. Whether you’ve recently had a report put in your file with regard to forcing underlings to “pay the toll” (e.g. see a blow job to completion) before putting on a trade or are just in the mood for some superb acting, we highly recommend taking a looksee.
In Part I, we meet Anne, Danny and their colleagues. Everyone’s going about their business buying, selling and all that jazz, when Danny enters the scene. He tells some guy named Ray the coffee he bought him tastes like garbage and makes him “want to throw up” and then approaches Anne and comments that she looks nice. “Nice sweater,” Danny says. “Do they get any tighter than that?” He also tells her to meet him at the bar later, to which Anne responds “Bring your wife,” prompting Danny to suggest a threesome. Anne proceeds to ignore him, not seeming to mind Danny’s behavior much more than you’d mind that of a pest but colleague Tyler feels differently. “Why do you put up with that,” he asks. “It’s just Danny,” she says. “He does this every day, he’s out of line,” Tyler tells her. “You should go to John [the boss]. You shouldn’t have to put up with it.” Knowing that Anne won’t do anything, Tyler takes matters into his own hands. He tells John that “One of the guys has been inappropriate comments towards Anne,” but won’t say who. Later in her review, Anne asks if she’s “on track to make managing director” to which John replies “Yes but…have you been having problems getting along with anyone?” Anne says no and insists everything is fine. Later, John runs into Tyler by the vending machines and demands a name, which Tyler initially says he doesn’t feel comfortable giving but ultimately admits is Danny. John promises he’s not going to “call anyone out” but rather make “a general announcement,” which he does, around a conference table, telling everyone “Listen up, guys. Sexual harassment is serious business.” But that’s not the end of it. Cut to John’s office and you’ve got a pissed of Danny, who’s just been informed of his bonus number and it is not good. “Is this a joke? Tell me you’re joking John because I’m not laughing. I’ve got a mortgage to pay, I’ve got an ex-wife who’s extorting me for every penny I have…and I brought in 5 big accounts last year, did anyone bring in 5 big accounts?” John walks through what Danny can do to see more zeros next year and they include “Working with your partners more, helping out some of the new people and…stop making offensive remarks.” John says this has nothing to do with Anne but Danny knows. [End scene.]
In Part II Anne, Danny and the gang are back and Danny is none too pleased. He blames Anne (not to her face) for him getting screwed on his bonus and he convinces coworker Stan (a new character) that Anne took part of his “nut” that John took away. Danny warns Stan, “Just be careful what you say around her,” which Stan et al interpret as “don’t say anything at all.” Anne gets the silent treatment, is left out of calls, not invited to drinks with clients and her numbers take a big hit. She tells John she’s just having a bad month but he knows the source of the problem. “I’m going to go talk to Danny right now,” he tells her.
And we’re left with that cliffhanger because there is no Part III, causing a whole bunch of questions to come to mind. Such as:
What happens when John confronts Danny? Does the big D start including Anne again? Does he lose his shit and get fired? If he does get fired, what happens next? Does he leave the office and get drunk, look up Anne’s address and wait for her outside her apartment to have words? Or maybe he doesn’t get fired and Anne and Danny team up and serve Tyler his comeuppance for getting involved? And to that end, since this was supposed to be an educational video, what is the takeaway here? Don’t be a snitch, like Tyler, or you’ll just ruin things for everyone? Are Anne, Danny, Tyler, Ray and Stan actual traders and not actors, plucked from their firms to star in this film? And finally, DOES ANNE MAKE MANAGING DIRECTOR??
classic Tarantino
John = typical gutless middle management fucking up everything he touches
Just a guess here.
No mention if moosefisting was involved, but it does sound like something that could happen at a Canadian bank.
UBS sucks
UBS sucks
UBS sucks
Eiffel Tower
Put a pube on her desk.
-Clarence Thomas
If Anne was Canadian she’d just slam John into the boards. End of problem. Then she’d take his Tim Card and his winning Roll-Up-The-Rim cup and drive her kids to hockey.
- Canadian who’s seen WAY too many hockey moms
instead of being a stuck up bitch, she should have just put out in the first place and eased the work environment for all…
- these bitches think the pussy is made of gold
Chip on Vagina?
What the hell is up with Part 1, 0:11-0:15?
The old balled sock trick?
Danny reminds me of a young Oswald Gruebel.
I wouldn’t titty stomp Anne with John’s shoes or Danny pushing…
How’d the speech go buddy?
I believe that Tyler’s water bottle will have a little something extra in it in Part IV.
Where do your female relatives work?
Stop Snitchin’
- Carmelo
This is what happens when conversations are taken out of context.
Clearly, Danny is a specialist in retail women’s fashion. He’s trying to determine if the manufacturer of the sweater in question has adequate sizing to allow full market exposure.
Tyler, who has a background as a quant misconstrues this and ends up ruining everyone’s career.
That is the worst U-Porn clip I have ever downloaded at work.
Good morning Anne,
Might I say you look no better or worse than any other average human being, male or female, today.
John/Stan O’Neal got his shirt and tie in the same box.
How about our HR video we have over here?
I think one of our favorite things to do is ninja kick our assistant down a flight of stairs after we make a bad trade. Then we pick him up by the collar, throw coffee into his eyes, and kick him in the balls while choking him over a table of glazed donuts. Then after we sequentially learn that we will have a net loss for the day / sued for harassment, I makes sure to do a preemptive Baghdad punch to everyone in HR’s face.
When our MD comes to confront us, we pull him in by the tie, stare into his eyes like an alpha male orangutan while squeezing his balls and tell him he’s got a quiz – hot shot. I got my finger on 4000 contracts of naked EUR/YEN shorts ready to bust through the exchange like a thai slave whore that has been lit on fire. Whaddya do, whaddya do?
This only applies to Front office btw, take it from me, not many back office chicks worth sexually harrassing.
-Guy who was demoted from middle office to back office-
This only applies to Front office btw, take it from me, not many back office chicks worth sexually harrassing.
-Guy who was demoted from middle office to back office-
Pretty sure thats Citi’s floor on Greenwich. Standard practice.
Pretty sure thats Citi’s floor on Greenwich. Standard practice.
dont pitch the bitch
Nice work Bess. Part III….Tyler redeems himself with the obligatory Vending Machine Challenge fail resulting in a diabetic coma.
Too obscure?
What the heck is the middle office? That’s like some Tom Smerkowski shit?
What the heck is the middle office? That’s like some Tom Smerkowski shit?
it’s bad enough that they’re picking the asian to be the wimp. racists
UBS sucks
Harassment!!!!
As per John’s generally addressed statement, it’s only sexual harassment if your comment is directed to somebody based on sex. If Danny claims that he’s bi and a very open person, and he makes the innuendos to everyone, then he’s in the clear.*
* this used to work at RBS in the mid-90′s. use at your own peril
They could replace the whole room of morons with a fucking computer.
Looks like this was done for Citibank
http://petergunter.com/media_3_1.html
I hope he does a remake for DoubleLine Funds
Why were all instructional video’s made in the 90′s?
0:07 – 0:15
Tyler: I’m on the phone with someone but I’m going to ask you a detailed question that may or not be confidential
Anne: I’ll offer you some unwanted advice
0:23
Tyler: I’m no longer on the phone
0:07 – 0:15
Tyler: I’m on the phone with someone but I’m going to ask you a detailed question that may or not be confidential
Anne: I’ll offer you some unwanted advice
0:23
Tyler: I’m no longer on the phone
Purgatory.
Purgatory.
These were filmed at citi’s downtown offices in tribecca.
Leave it to the Japanese guy to trigger a tsunami of radioactive shit that covered everyone on the floor
The unexpected twist in Part 3 is that Anne (played by Chiesi) is actually doing insider trading which is how she was hoping to get the MD promotion, and that Danny’s bonus was cut not because he made the comments, but because he did not give the hot tips to his boss.
The poor Japanese guy, Tyler, is actually the Federal undercover officer Bob Khuzami, who, lacking wiretap evidence, decided to break the evil insider trading ring by making up the shit about sexual harassment.
That’s when everyone had money for this.
I’m confused. Which bar is Anne supposed to meet him at later, and how will he know it’s her?
Hey! I was definitely not involved.
I knew a guy in upper management, man, went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.
- back office shlep
You’re right Bess, sexual harrassment is serious business. That is why I put on my serious face before hitting the teen clubs.
-Big Ben
Wow, nice catch.
Ann, meet me at Minetta’s. I’ll be the guy looking retro with an Asian guy scrutinizing my every word.
Wow. That was something.
too soon?
Only 3 screens? Epic Fail
Kinda reminds me of the videos we watched during French class in high school. Except the chick in those videos was hot and had much bigger tits. And spoke French.
Cock Blocked … never trust an Asian.
so true
so true
77OIQu I think this is a real great blog.Really thank you! Cool.
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