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Judge Blames Stripper For Kenneth Starr’s Financial Fraud

As you may have heard, a Manhattan judge sentenced Kenneth Starr to 7.5 years in prison yesterday, for his $33 million scam that took money out of the hands of Uma Thurman, Al Pacino and Carly Simon, among others. Starr told the court that he “can’t believe what he did,” saying that he “lost” his moral compass. US District Court Judge Shira Scheindlin agreed, and went so far as to pinpoint the moment Starr lost his compass– the second he laid his eyes on the assets pictured at left.

“He seemed to have lost his moral compass partly as a result of infatuation with his young fourth wife,” Scheindlin said.

That wife being Diane Passage, the former Scores stripper who’s now twice taken the heat for messing with Starr’s “compass” (according to the criminal complaint, “Starr’s behavior outside the office also turned erratic after taking up with Passage in 2005. He began to forsake his own counsel about modest appearances, spending more than $400,000 on jewelry from Jacob & Co in several months”). Where was Passage when her man was getting sentence? “Front and center in a body-hugging skirt that left little to the imagination. Her cleavage was so generous, she used it to tuck in her sunglasses.”

Celeb Ponzi schemer Kenneth Starr sentenced to 7 1/2 years in prison [NYP]

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35 Responses to “Judge Blames Stripper For Kenneth Starr’s Financial Fraud”

  1. Vagine_Licker says:

    Can I lick her vagine?

  2. guest says:

    Women!

  3. Maui Jim says:

    She’s my kind of woman!

  4. Guest says:

    Jewish stripper ?

  5. Anonymous says:

    She has awesome tits

  6. PasteSpecialFormats says:

    Despite the conviction and subsequent jail time….Winning.

  7. PasteSpecialFormats says:

    Despite the conviction and subsequent jail time….Winning.

  8. Guest says:

    Women are the fucking rake

  9. Guest says:

    Women are the fucking rake

  10. Guest says:

    Women are the fucking rake

  11. ThickCandyShell says:

    Um, I can pretty much pinpoint where he lost his moral compass too, along with some spare change, the TV remote, and his car keys.

  12. ThickCandyShell says:

    Um, I can pretty much pinpoint where he lost his moral compass too, along with some spare change, the TV remote, and his car keys.

  13. ThickCandyShell says:

    Um, I can pretty much pinpoint where he lost his moral compass too, along with some spare change, the TV remote, and his car keys.

  14. Savage Platypus says:

    WHINING!

  15. AmericanBandersnatch says:

    My moral compass is now pointing North.

  16. AmericanBandersnatch says:

    My moral compass is now pointing North.

  17. Spanishmoon says:

    “That will put the wood back in the old gavel” –

    Justice Clarence Thomas

  18. Spanishmoon says:

    “That will put the wood back in the old gavel” –

    Justice Clarence Thomas

  19. CEO of Hedge Fund says:

    I am the CEO of a hedge fund. What is a “moral compass”?

  20. Guest says:

    $400,000 over several months…. As long as they were pre-tax dollars, I’m okay with it.

  21. Yht says:

    “He seemed to have lost his moral compass partly as a result of infatuation with his young fourth wife,” Scheindlin said.

    Bahahaha! She’s too old to even do MILF porn.

  22. Ergjb says:

    I wouldn’t pork her with Erin Burnett’s dick

  23. Miranda C says:

    when when some of the older men ever learn?? Its been going on for years and years that younger women want their money and they act stupid and don’t relaize this because they just have to have a younger woman. its like when they see a pretty girl, they lose their brain. Do these men not realize that the girl only wants their money in cases like this? most wive’s do not expect their husbands to spend beyong their means. maybe these men need to be less superficial and see beauty from the inside in all ages of women and they would not have this problem.

  24. SelfGratified says:

    If more men would just stop upon seeing some attractive woman, and masturbate, then look at them again after the self-induces orgasm maybe both their eyesight and ability to make rational decisions regarding them might improve.

  25. Guest says:

    Holy crap

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