If the spandex fits, you must acquit.

Earlier this afternoon, opening statements in the Raj Rajaratnam case were heard, with the prosecution telling the jury, “exploited a corrupt network of people to earn millions of dollars in illegal profits,” including Rajat Gupta, a former McKinsey partner and Goldman Sachs director. This accusation, according defense attorney John Dowd, could not be further from the truth. “The government has it wrong,” Dowd said, adding that prosecutors “didn’t do their homework.” You want to know how Raj made all that money? He’ll tell you how.

Dowd told jurors that Rajaratnam’s firm “conducted the best research” in the business, had the benefit of expert analysis, and reached decisions “based only on public information.”

“He assembled a mosaic of information and did his own calculations,” Dowd said after outlining for jurors how Rajaratnam — or “Raj, to his friends” — launched Galleon after emigrating to the U.S. It’s “natural” for “people like Raj” to develop information, Dowd said. “Talking to corporate executives is what Raj did for a living,” Dowd said. “It’s what investors hired him to do.” Dowd said the stock trades at issue in this case are just a “tiny percentage” of the billions of dollars of trades that Galleon did each year. “The information Raj gathered was available to anyone willing to work hard,” he said. Galleon “hired professional research consultants” and its traders “questioned executives from companies themselves,” he said.

“They would analyze company’s published statements and regulatory filings,” as part of “exhaustive research,” Dowd said. “The evidence will show that Raj did not cheat.”

If the jury would like evidence of Raj’s exhaustive research, it need look no further than the hedge fund’s investment in Lululemon. Pretty sure someone who’s getting inside info doesn’t need to make junior analysts buy and model spandex on the conference room table. The ass alone should prove innocence. Having said that, how dare Dowd suggestion a) Raj has the “best” research in the biz and b) that he’s the only one who goes to such great lengths to research and analyze companies. I’ll have him know that at Southern Connecticut’s premiere hedge fund, the founder takes an even more hands on approach to this sort of thing, modeling the goods offered by retailers like American Apparel himself, rather than passing the work off onto an underling.

Rajaratnam Defense Lawyer Says US ‘Has It Wrong’

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Comments (13)

  1. Posted by Juniormistmaker | March 9, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    IT’S MOOOOVVVVIINNGGG!

  2. Posted by Ex-RBC Analyst | March 9, 2011 at 10:25 PM

    I’m feeling really sensy right now.

  3. Posted by Guest | March 9, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Sticks and stones may break by bones,

    But whips and chains excite Me

    - Raj

  4. Posted by LA In Love | March 9, 2011 at 10:50 PM

    I would follow that ass to hell and back.

  5. Posted by LA In Love | March 9, 2011 at 10:50 PM

    I would follow that ass to hell and back.

  6. Posted by Anonymous | March 9, 2011 at 11:09 PM

    I want to tell you a story. I’m going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. This is a story about a fat man walking home from the grocery store one sunny afternoon. I want you to picture this fat man. Suddenly a truck races up. Two men jump out and grab him. They drag Raj into a nearby field and they tie him up and they rip his clothes from his body. Now they climb on. First one, then the other, raping him, shattering everything innocent and pure with a vicious thrust in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. They start throwing full beer cans at him. They throw them so hard that it tears the flesh all the way to his bones. Then they urinate on Raj. Now comes the hanging. They have a rope. They tie a noose. Imagine the noose going tight around his neck and with a sudden blinding jerk he is pulled into the air and her feet and legs go kicking. They don’t find the ground. The hanging branch isn’t strong enough. It snaps and he falls back to the earth. So they pick him up, throw him in the back of the truck and drive out to Foggy Creek Bridge. Pitch him over the edge. And he drops some thirty feet down to the creek bottom below. Can you see Raj? His raped, beaten, broken body soaked in their urine, soaked in their semen, soaked in her blood, left to die. Can you see him? I want you to picture that fat man.

    Now imagine he’s white.

    -Raj’s closing statement

  7. Posted by Chuddy | March 9, 2011 at 11:10 PM

    i’d eat the corn out of that crap – and I don’t even like corn!!

    BAAAADAAAAAAABINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!

    ~ Dice

  8. Posted by George Jefferson Cleaners | March 9, 2011 at 11:11 PM

    Contrary to popular belief, I’m the HNIC.

  9. Posted by Ya Sista"s Ass | March 9, 2011 at 11:17 PM

    Well played Ricky Bobby.

  10. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | March 9, 2011 at 11:18 PM

    In related news, page requests to the Breaking Media servers from the domain sec.gov recently jumped nearly 4000% in the past hour.

  11. Posted by Guest | March 9, 2011 at 11:23 PM

    I hate you for cropping.

  12. Posted by Guest | March 9, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    I think I see some growth potential there…

    MS MD

  13. Posted by Jh Iu | March 10, 2011 at 8:52 AM