One criticism of the Securities and Exchange Commission is that after having done not such a “great” job as a regulator over the past decade or so, it’s been going after small time, easily nailed crooks in order to justify its existence. Five, ten, fifty million dollar Ponzi schemes and the like that sound nice for the SEC to say have been taken down but have basically no impact on the global financial market whether they live or die. Along the way the Commission has started to get its confidence back. And then some.

Take the case of John Scott Clark. The SEC charged him yesterday with running a $47 million Ponzi scheme from March 2006 to last September, raising $15 million from three hedge fund managers during the last month of his scam after promising them 80 percent returns. Normally the agency wouldn’t comment on much more than the nature of the crime and the charges. In this case, though, now that they’ve put their small time sheriff pants on, a spokesman elaborated.

“He’s what we would call ‘shiny,’” said the SEC’s Thomas Melton. “He looks like a salesman. You might buy a snowmobile from him.”

Would you now? And tell us about what he JSC spent his ill-gotten gains on, Tom.

Melton said Monday all that’s left of the haul is about $4 million in cash, plus Clark’s collection of fancy cars, expensive furniture, a snowmobile, a $25,000 home theater system, and “bad art.”

Did Melton add, with pride, that once he got Clark in his office, he told him: “I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off”? Likely.

Ponzi Scheme Hits Mystery Hedge Funds [MW]

22 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (22)

  1. Posted by Anon | March 29, 2011 at 6:51 PM

    In other news, Christie’s announced an upcoming auction of works by Damien Hirst.

  2. Posted by Guestofaguest | March 29, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    25K Home theater system? Baller.

    – UBS MD

  3. Posted by Anonymous | March 29, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    Huge slam on snow mobile salesmen, out of nowhere? What gives?

  4. Posted by Guest | March 29, 2011 at 6:53 PM

    right?!

  5. Posted by Confused Commenter | March 29, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Furiously jerking off to jerk-off faced Mexican coke sharks in formaldehyde?

  6. Posted by Malibu Police Chief | March 29, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don’t draw shit, Levin.

  7. Posted by Darwin | March 29, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    Snowmobiles are the best way to remove morons from the gene pool.

  8. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | March 29, 2011 at 7:31 PM

    Not as good as waterskiing the Hudson.

    -Alfred Russell Wallace

  9. Posted by Phil_Falcone | March 29, 2011 at 7:34 PM

    Phew. Dodged another one, I was just writing the check.

  10. Posted by Spanishmoon | March 29, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    I guess the midget porn site now re-directs all SEC personnel to “artappreciation.com”

    Change we can believe in!

  11. Posted by Spanishmoon | March 29, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    I guess the midget porn site now re-directs all SEC personnel to “artappreciation.com”

    Change we can believe in!

  12. Posted by Edwards61 | March 29, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    an asshole is an asshole.. fry him.

  13. Posted by Edwards61 | March 29, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    an asshole is an asshole.. fry him.

  14. Posted by impressed | March 29, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Bravo alt+e+s+t, this is quite a reference

  15. Posted by guest | March 29, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    Maybe the last snowmobile salesman he saw was decked out in hermes

  16. Posted by just confused | March 29, 2011 at 8:30 PM

    whats hermes?
    -UBS MD

  17. Posted by Guest | March 29, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    Not quite sure but you can’t get rid of it, that I know.

    -RBS MD

  18. Posted by Anonymous | March 29, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    Stig? Is that you?! When did you learn how to use a computer??

  19. Posted by Guest | March 29, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    “One criticism of the Securities and Exchange Commission is that after having done not such a “great” job as a regulator over the past decade or so, it’s been going after small time, easily nailed crooks in order to justify its existence.”

    So, when the SEC fails to catch a fraud before it become a billion-dollar fraud, it’s a failure, but when it catches a fraud before it becomes a billion-dollar fraud, it’s “going after small time crooks”? So ideally, the SEC should wait until frauds get to the billion-dollar level before stopping them, am I reading that right?

  20. Posted by Guest | March 29, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    “One criticism of the Securities and Exchange Commission is that after having done not such a “great” job as a regulator over the past decade or so, it’s been going after small time, easily nailed crooks in order to justify its existence.”

    So, when the SEC fails to catch a fraud before it become a billion-dollar fraud, it’s a failure, but when it catches a fraud before it becomes a billion-dollar fraud, it’s “going after small time crooks”? So ideally, the SEC should wait until frauds get to the billion-dollar level before stopping them, am I reading that right?

  21. Posted by guest | March 29, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    The real story seems to be how easily it is to take millions off hedge fund managers. I bet these guys send money to the “African princes” that spam them.

  22. Posted by pongo1 | March 30, 2011 at 4:35 AM

    Is this kind of petty commentary suppose to detract from the fact that the hedge fund industry is corrupt, criminal, and fascist?