Today’s your lucky day! This guy actually exists.

71.5 percent of respondents to Vault’s 2011 Office Betting Survey admitted to taking part in some kind of office pool. Of those, some 65 percent said that their workplace gambling had included an NCAA bracket. That figure trumps all other forms of workplace betting, including Super Bowl boxes (58 percent) and Oscars pools (just 13 percent of respondents had gambled on any kind of awards show). Regardless of what activity they’re choosing to bet a portion of their hard-earned cash on, workers need to be careful not to spend too much of their on-the-clock time making or obsessing over their picks. While 77 percent of employees claim to spend less than half an hour of work time a day on their picks (with many spending no time at all), any perception that you’re shirking your duties in favor of gambling is likely to be viewed dimly by at least some colleagues.

“The next time I see [colleagues using work time to focus on office pools], I’m going to put an anonymous note on all the bosses desks to make them aware” warns one respondent.

Do you know this man or woman? Do you know what happened to him or her in childhood that made him feel the need to act on the behalf of management (which is probably filling out pools as well)? Do you know if the threat just includes people filling out paper brackets or if he/she will be peering over people’s shoulders and checking browser history?

Vault Office Betting Survey [Vault]

Comments (46)

  1. Posted by The Conspiracy Theorist | March 14, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    It’s probably the grade-changing kid from Nevada-Reno. He’s just steamed he picked “Our Lady of the Oblates” to win last year’s tournament.

  2. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    Please make me aware of coworkers leaving shoes under their desk.

    –Rex Ryan

  3. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    The guy behind me is running the pool. Managers and directors are in on said pool.

    Think I know who the snitch is, and suspect lack of sex with “hot” (HA!) manager is her underlying problem.

  4. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    Greg Michaels

  5. Posted by Cactus Observer | March 14, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    I can report that the insufferable prick is not a member of the energy trading and marketing community. While that community is full of insufferable pricks, none of them interfere with such office betting pools.

  6. Posted by Put_Option | March 14, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    This was the same kid that got picked last in dodge ball, got into Piper Jaffray by the skin of his teeth but was still the worst performing in his analyst class, and generally loves the rules

  7. Posted by Dennis Gartman | March 14, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    I knew who this prick was before the article was published.

  8. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    Too tires from stupid hour thing to make lame UBS associate joke.

  9. Posted by BillyPacker | March 14, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    This person should meet me at Minetta’s. Put a sticky note on my back so I know its you and then we can discuss this, and by discuss this I mean hit you, and by hit you I mean drop kick you in the vulva.

  10. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | March 14, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    STOP SNITCHING

    -Riley Freeman

  11. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    Dildo with ears.

  12. Posted by AIG Vehicular Analysis Team | March 14, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    From our ad hoc analysis of the action you proposed, we believe it would be pretty difficult to “drop kick” any thing in the confines of a Swedish made automobile.

    -AIG Quant

  13. Posted by Michael C. Brown | March 14, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Obviously Sally Krawcheck has taken a 30 minute break from writing “garden-leave” memos.

  14. Posted by Silent Slob | March 14, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Like in the back of a Volkswagon?

    UBS quant

  15. Posted by Richard Cripples | March 14, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    This really is not a big deal, the kid actually works in the athletic office at Ohio State. He sent an email telling Tressel about all the staff gambling and Tressel told him he would “get on it ASAP” so, problem solved.

  16. Posted by Richard Cripples | March 14, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    This really is not a big deal, the kid actually works in the athletic office at Ohio State. He sent an email telling Tressel about all the staff gambling and Tressel told him he would “get on it ASAP” so, problem solved.

  17. Posted by Texashedge | March 14, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    Concur—anyone who’s ever had half an afternoon interrupted by “garbage bag full of dollars” can attest to this.

  18. Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Kid used to work for Raj; just pissed he wouldn’t let him on the inside scoop from his friends on the NCAA selection committee

  19. Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Kid used to work for Raj; just pissed he wouldn’t let him on the inside scoop from his friends on the NCAA selection committee

  20. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 3:51 PM

    Now, you are aware that our Board of Directors has been indicted, myself included, and we’re prohibited from doing business until the investigation is completed. So, obviously we would have no use for you.

  21. Posted by Brian1284 | March 14, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    I guess the don’t ask don’t tell policy must still ride at his office, otherwise he wouldn’t have to remain anonymous.

  22. Posted by Quantastic | March 14, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    You’re both retarded the. It’s located right next to the mars in the Gaussian Copula see. That is my next problem to solve before sending out my resume again the.
    -Ex-wannabe Citi analyst soon to be Harbinger Analyst

  23. Posted by Somnolento | March 14, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    Matt Taibbi

  24. Posted by Matt Taibbi | March 14, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    No, it was Matt Taibbi.

  25. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    He also had a problem with me pounding my secretary in the ass. The Dude needs to lighten up.

  26. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | March 14, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    Where was this prick when someone was putting semen in my water bottle?

  27. Posted by R Bingham | March 14, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    I hope you are taking advantage of the DE Shaw “Laid Off Genius Outplacement Services” opportunities.

    -Ryan Bingham
    Omaha Shitcanners
    Omaha, NE

  28. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    Putting semen in your water bottle

  29. Posted by Ray Finkle | March 14, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    Laces out!

  30. Posted by Ray Finkle | March 14, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    Laces out!

  31. Posted by Mitch | March 14, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    Don’t we have bigger things to worry about than some office pools?

    –Miyagi Prefecture

  32. Posted by Mitch | March 14, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    Don’t we have bigger things to worry about than some office pools?

    –Miyagi Prefecture

  33. Posted by CoachK | March 14, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    Duke is gonna win the NCAAs again. That’s all you need to know. Blue Devils rule on the court and on wall st for that matter.

  34. Posted by Dammit to Hell! | March 14, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    No shit!!

    -US Nuclear Power Lobbyist

  35. Posted by This Time Is Different | March 14, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    If anyone is interested, I have some trading strategies that might be immediately accretive to your book during the post-earthquake situation…..

    -Nick Leeson

  36. Posted by A-ho | March 14, 2011 at 4:54 PM

    and for hiring strippers for their parties

  37. Posted by Guest | March 14, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    and for long and profitable NBA careers.

  38. Posted by CasualXLMale | March 14, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    and raping them

  39. Posted by CasualXLMale | March 14, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    and raping them

  40. Posted by B Self | March 14, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    Everybody in North Carolina is a rapist. Kansas is the NKI.

  41. Posted by B Self | March 14, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    Everybody in North Carolina is a rapist. Kansas is the NKI.

  42. Posted by RearPlug | March 14, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    I leave anonymous notes on my employees’ desks also hoping that someone will find the smell of Xylene as intoxicating as I do.

    -Ping

  43. Posted by Yomoma | March 12, 2012 at 10:13 PM

    I'm curious who it is. I'm not going to do anything, I just want to talk to him

    - Meyer Lansky

  44. Posted by Asley Eskew | September 9, 2012 at 2:18 AM

    this is cool! Fantastic luck to everyone.

  45. Posted by bookmarking service | September 10, 2012 at 8:12 PM

    A2vh0h I really liked your article.Really thank you! Will read on…

  46. Posted by James Forshay | September 19, 2012 at 5:13 AM

    I tried this at operate – but once i start the WiFi-Diagnosis-Tool I’m able to see that my established up network has no signal… I tried it with WEP and with no (just to check if this causes the failure).