This past December, hedge fund Glenview Capital turned ten years old. To celebrate the anniversary (which, if you haven’t acknowledge yet, you’d best get on), founder Larry Robbins sat down with his quill to write an extra special letter to investors. Typical Glenview letters will include analogies about how being a steward of capital is like driving a bus, going bowling and trying to squeeze tooth paste out of the bottom of the tube and to be sure, the latest has got some of those but this time around, Larry included some lessons not only about investing but life, all of which you can take to the bank. Herewith, some pearls of wisdom from Uncle Larry:
* Short people DO have a reason to live: I’m 5 feet 10 inches tall. I always wanted to be 6 feet tall, and at 41 years old I realize this isn’t going to happen for me. There’s nothing wrong with 5’ 10” – it is just human nature to wish for a little bit more.
* Shampoo bottles come with directions: wash, rinse, repeat. I do not know who purchases shampoo but doesn’t know how to use it, and I do not know anyone who washes their hair twice, although I can understand why the shampoo company would like you to.
* Drugs: Drug distribution is a good business.
* When to buy: When Merger is N’Sync, Baby Buy Buy Buy
* And a story about betting on ponies:
reminds me of the Polish sex manual: In. Out. Repeat if Necessary.
5’10″ isn’t exactly short though. Larry should try the magical shoes that Tom Cruise wears that make him go from 5′ to 6’1″.
Don’t be sad that you’re 5’10.
Hair gel comes with directions too.
– Pauly D.
Larry, it’s okay to be 2′ 8″. I am and I have had more tail than a pack of wolves.
-Verne Troyer
P.S. It looks bigger in my small hands, and the ladies love that.
Cocaine distribution is a helluva’ business
I’m fine with it, but thanks for the support, shnookums! ;)
LLarry, I’m perfectly comfortable to be 5′ and swinging 10″
-SAC
Look, I have this thing about short women sometimes. Generally they exude sexuality, are nice built but short. It’s the NKI of sexuality! I say all the power to them and if you wake up with dwarf, go for the tits!
Look, I have this thing about short women sometimes. Generally they exude sexuality, are nice built but short. It’s the NKI of sexuality! I say all the power to them and if you wake up with dwarf, go for the tits!
So he didn’t inherit the agromegaly like his brother, Tony?
So he didn’t inherit the agromegaly like his brother, Tony?
This is, in fact, the entire reason why we wear cowboy boots.
What a douche
What a douche
What a douche
He’s part camel????
-AIG Quant
thx for another good letter Bess… – Adrian Meli
Yeah, but 5’10″ in NY is really about 5’5″ everywhere else…