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Accused Insider Traders Debate Whether To Burn Or Wash A Stack Of Cash

You’re an (alleged) insider trader who’s been working a scam for a couple decades. You suddenly get worried the Feds are on your ass. You paid an accomplice a few hundred thousand from one particular transaction (you withdrew the money from an ATM, natch) and now you’re worried it might come back to bite you in the ass. What to do? If you’re Garrett Bauer you have a level-headed debate about it with the guy you gave said cash (who hid it at his cousin’s house), in a conversation you don’t know is being recorded.

Proposal number one: just burn the money.


Proposals number two: wash the money.

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124 Responses to “Accused Insider Traders Debate Whether To Burn Or Wash A Stack Of Cash”

  1. Stringer Bell says:

    Rookies

  2. Guest says:

    “And that there is no way that they could ever be recorded.”

    BRILLIANT!

  3. Guest says:

    HBS should start teaching basic criminal skills. This is embarrassing.

    • Anonymous says:

      seriously. i thought i was reading a transcript of two upenn english majors on the trading floor.

  4. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    Tags: good thing there is no way this conversation could ever be recorded, I knew that was wrong/I knew I shouldn’t have done that

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m sick of the ‘was that wrong’ shtick. And nothing beats “and ‘I’m like can you do that’ and he goes ‘yeah’ and I go ‘alright'”

      • Lewis Winthorpe III says:

        But how would we have that glorious quote if there was no way that conversation could ever be recorded?!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Seriously?!?!? They are worried about CC-1’s “..not the straightest shooter” (read runs a meth lab) cousin but don’t worry about wire taps. These guys clearly have a mental impairment defense.

  6. NewCanaanKillingIt says:

    Idiots. Everyone knows if you have to blow through a lot of cash fast, you go to Beamers and asked for the Levin Special. Its fun and easy. Everyone wins.

  7. Anonymous says:

    hold up – $175,000 from ATMs? I thought the most you could withdraw was $1,000 at a time. how many accounts did he have?

  8. Hy Roller says:

    Take the cash with the incriminating fingerprints to Atlantic City. Pick a casino. Go to the cashier’s window and buy $9,000 of chips. Keep it under $10,000 so you don’t have to sign a CTR (currency transaction report). Go play a little blackjack. Use basic strategy so you don’t lose too much money. After half an hour, take your chips to a different cashier’s window and turn them in for cash.

    There, you just laundered $9,000.

  9. Joe says:

    Taking money laundering to a new, and completely idiotic, level

  10. Joe says:

    Taking money laundering to a new, and completely idiotic, level

  11. Joe says:

    Taking money laundering to a new, and completely idiotic, level

  12. Sister Mary Gasparino says:

    This blessed guy…

  13. Short Bus says:

    Is it still Turrets Syndrome if you don’t use profanity?

  14. Anonymous says:

    “Yes, well you just feel more comfortable that we talk all on cell phones this entire time. You know. And that there is no way that they could ever be recorded.”

    Bess, please confirm that this is just made up. Otherwise I am losing faith in mankind…

  15. Anonymous says:

    “Yes, well you just feel more comfortable that we talk all on cell phones this entire time. You know. And that there is no way that they could ever be recorded.”

    Bess, please confirm that this is just made up. Otherwise I am losing faith in mankind…

  16. KrugKrug says:

    …..ooooofffff

    ……bruuutal

  17. Dr. Rosenrose says:

    God, what a bunch of nerds we are looking up money laundering in the dictionary.

  18. 24hour laundromat says:

    Why didn’t he just ask his brother Jack for advice?

  19. guest says:

    CC-1 seems to be working with the Feds on this. The questions are all meant to get info on record. And he had just been “raided”. Bauer is stupid.

  20. Office Space says:

    You know what I can’t figure out is how all these stupid, Neanderthal mafia people can be so good at this and smart guys like us can suck so badly?

  21. CCO says:

    so any guesses on how these guys got caught?

  22. Z.Z says:

    And they say “In a time of crisis, cash is king” . Yeah right.

  23. Z.Z says:

    And they say “In a time of crisis, cash is king” . Yeah right.

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