Earlier this morning, Garrett Bauer, a trader who mostly “worked from home” and Matthew Kluger, an M&A attorney, were accused of running a decades-long insider trading scam that involved stealing information from several law firms. Recently, the duo became suspicious that the authorities were on to them and, naturally, went about destroying evidence. Because the feds were indeed building a case against the guys and had obtained permission to record their phone calls, we’re privy to a conversation that took place on March 18, 2011, between Bauer and an individual only identified as CC-1. While Bauer doesn’t walk CC-1 through the actual steps of how he broke a disposable phone in half (as accused insider trader Donald Longueuil did, noting the use of pliers), he does make us feel like we were in the McDonald’s with him that night, particularly when he flipped out thinking some random guy buying a Big Mac was an undercover agent, and proceeded to ask the customer, “Do you know me?”

US Bauer v Kluger [PDF via Dealbook]

Related: If You’ve Ever Wondered What Donald Longueuil Might’ve Sounded Like On The Cold December Night He Told A Colleague How To Destroy Evidence Of Insider Trading, Wonder No Longer (MP3)

147 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (147)

  1. Posted by A4199812 | April 6, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Crime doesn’t pay; and remember, only you can prevent forest fires.

  2. Posted by Anonymous | April 6, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    Meet me at McDonalds at 9 sharp. Bring your pliers so I know its you

    – CC1

  3. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Waiting for the Taco Bell jokes…

  4. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    Neurotically asking McDonald’s customers “Do you know me? You look familiar” is the NKI.

  5. Posted by Hamburglarrrr | April 6, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    I saw him slurping a Shamrock Shake

  6. Posted by C_Gasparino | April 6, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    Happens to me all the time.

  7. Posted by Ray Finkle | April 6, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Say your vitamins, and take your prayers

    -Chris Benoit

  8. Posted by quanttrader | April 6, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    I don’t understand why people talk about insider stuff on phone? Phone tapping is ridiculously old.

  9. Posted by CoveredLong | April 6, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    McDumping your McDisposable the McDay after not McDreaming the night before is the McNKI.

  10. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    I bet he used his credit card to purchase the prepaid phone. Amateur.

  11. Posted by CheeseburgerEddie | April 6, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    It aint easy bein cheesy

  12. Posted by CheeseburgerEddie | April 6, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    It aint easy bein cheesy

  13. Posted by Dolty McDolterson | April 6, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Reading comprehension. Get some.

  14. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    Glossed over that factoid. Still amateur for telling the guy where and when he bought it.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | April 6, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    How do you conduct your exchanges of insider information?

    After determining that smoke signals were impractical, my insider trading ring decided to speak in code (read: PIG LATIN).

  16. Posted by Ray Finkle | April 6, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    Obviously these guy were not part of the “stanfield organization”

  17. Posted by Amandy White/Mark Knopfler | April 6, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    Was it McDonalds North? By the Putty division just south of Odessa?

  18. Posted by trojan | April 6, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    this sort of thing would never happen at Chipotle

  19. Posted by Sailor25 | April 6, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    Drop the Chalupa, and come out with your hands up!

  20. Posted by ChazGaz | April 6, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    He sold me shares of Webistics, that fucking bum.

  21. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    We learn new things every day.

  22. Posted by das racist | April 6, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    He should have done this at the Combination Pizza Hut & Taco Bell on Jamaica Ave. Then there would be reasonable doubt about his location.

  23. Posted by Anonymous | April 6, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    I always feel like, somebody’s watching me…

  24. Posted by Lewis Winthorpe III | April 6, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    This sort of thing happens at Burger King all the time. It’s no big deal.

  25. Posted by Ray Finkle | April 6, 2011 at 5:12 PM


    -Stack of money from Geico commercial

  26. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    Like, literally not sleeping entire nights, because the FBI might “ride” into your apartment anytime is, like, the NKI.

  27. Posted by Rajdefense | April 6, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Of course the guy knew him…it was the “hamburgler”.

  28. Posted by Rajdefense | April 6, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Of course the guy knew him…it was the “hamburgler”.

  29. Posted by Guestalicious | April 6, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    Longueuil tore up his disk drive with pliers. Although a SAC PM, he was not bright enough to procure a disposable cell phone for his insider trading convo’s.

  30. Posted by Guestalicious | April 6, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    Longueuil tore up his disk drive with pliers. Although a SAC PM, he was not bright enough to procure a disposable cell phone for his insider trading convo’s.

  31. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    Bet he did not disable the GPS/location feature… (which is ON as a default).

  32. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    If he were smart, he would have spelled out the tickers in french fry sticks and then eat the evidence. Amateur.

  33. Posted by Guest | April 6, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    If he were smart, he would have spelled out the tickers in french fry sticks and then eat the evidence. Amateur.

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