As you may have heard, this weekend is Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting. As he has in the past, CEO Warren Buffett will speak at length, and unlike time’s past, this year’s talk will include at least one awkward topic, that being the David Sokol/Lubrizol incident. We previously came up with a bunch of WB-esque words he could offer that would get him back in everyone’s good graces, including but not limited to:
“While nothing illegal went down on Berkshire’s watch, what David did is not the way we expect people to conduct themselves and it certainly left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Not unlike what I imagine would be the result of some boyhood experimentation on the farm and a cow with some funky tasting spunk.”
According to Andrew Ross Sorkin, who will be at the meeting, if Buffett wants to make things cool with shareholders, he can’t just say he was disappointed in David Sokol but that he was disappointed in himself.
It’s possible (though highly unlikely) that ARS and I are wrong. If you’re a Berkshire Hathaway shareholder, what would get you to decide the whole thing is water under the bridge? Is it a mea culpa or something else? As Buffett may not have found the words himself, perhaps you should just tell him what you want. A walking tour of his favorite whorehouse? His butler services for one year? An all-access pass to walk into any Dairy Queen across the country and stick your mouth under the soft serve machine without getting shit for it?
Please. The bugger is 80. You just don’t say those kind of things at 80.
What he should do is take his cue from Hank Greenberg and get himself a cute, furry little lapdog and go for the Sokol’s jugular, making it all look like Sokol’s fault while looking like a harmless old man with a little yapping chiuaua.
I want to hear Warren say “I won’t cum in your mouth” … and actually mean it for once.
ARS: Say you’re sorry
WB: You’re sorry
All this talk of Lubrizol is making me horny………
“It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Say it.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Say it.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Say it.”
“It.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Say it.”
“It.”
Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Squicky was visibly upset this morning when Andrew Ross was talking down Buffy. She mentioned she was already packed for Omaha, probably Warren’s favorite panties(the dirty ones) along for the trip. I’m less kind than Andrew, I wish Buffett would take a dirt nap
Squicky was visibly upset this morning when Andrew Ross was talking down Buffy. She mentioned she was already packed for Omaha, probably Warren’s favorite panties(the dirty ones) along for the trip. I’m less kind than Andrew, I wish Buffett would take a dirt nap
Warren Buffet would choose the cuttlefish.
Warren Buffet would choose the cuttlefish.
The $800m WB made me on my $400,000 investment in ’72 makes me prettay prettay ok with it
The $800m WB made me on my $400,000 investment in ’72 makes me prettay prettay ok with it
Fuck off
Me too.
You mean Lynn Tilton?
Haha…old guy has shitloads more money than the young people criticizing him. Do you worry when your cleaning crew criticizes you?
HOG OILER!!!
WB should tell ARS to STFU
No, he means W. Tilson.
And take a dump on his head/chest.
-just sayin
I’m this close to crossing Warren off of my Christmas card recipient list. This close!
Sucks to be you my friend, I invested $800 M with WB back in 72′. How time flies, I remember it like it was only 4 decades ago.
I vowed never to check how the investment performed until today. I wonder if its gained or lost value since then…
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