Earlier today, Bank of America reported a $2.05 billion profit, a thirty-six percent drop from the first quarter of 2010. Still, as this represented the first time the bank had made money in three quarters, those in Charlotte felt pretty good about themselves this morning and hoped analysts and the market would give them props for a job relatively well done. Baby steps and all that jazz. Instead, all BofA heard was how it didn’t live up to anyone’s expectations and its stock took a kick in the pants. Despite the fact the bank has said itself by way of “Project New BAC,” wherein first year analysts have been asked “why don’t you tell us” how to turn a profit, that it needs a timeout from being as harshly judged as other firms and valued by the numbers, it was all “you’ve disappointed us this” and “why can’t you be more like JPMorgan” that. And apparently profit isn’t the only thing on which people won’t get of Moynihan and Co’s back about.
From an analyst who shall remain nameless but is apparently taking careful notes:
“Proper grammar is not a priority at BAC. Around 1hr and 1min into this morning’s earnings call, the phrase “most riskiest” was used to describe home equity loans.
I’m available
-Erin Callan
And this is a surprise?
They should merge with UBS as the integration would go very smoothly.
Goddamn anal_yst at it again.
Bring back Hugh McColl
What’s this business about giving BOA props – sounds like the most stupidest idea, we take their props.
-Volker
$1 burritos at burrito beach lasalle location today in chicago. 19 s. lasalle. blah blah blah chicago is terrible new york rules. $1 burritos are universal.
UBS sucks
….and that was the third time I woke up with a BOA crammed up my ass…..
Most Riskiest, is that more or less risky than Most Riskierester
Bank of America=a Bunch of Garbage Companies all merged into a Gigantic Shitty Company that specializes in losing money
Disagree.
UBSofA?
UBSofB?
(Lame I know, will try better next post)
Bank of America would win in a contest of “Banks I don’t care about”
- Deangelo Vickers
“For Whom”= nice touch of dative case, Bess.
At Enron, we always knew where earnings would come in … to the penny!
Merrill Lynch omitted of course……..
Go easy with the “For Whoms”, OK?
Hey! thats my tagline!
-C. B. Worth
Disagree
Thanks for the head’s up
USBAC = Useless Swiss Bank of America
Redundant but accurate
Brian “Mumbles” Moynihan=The Accidental CEO…why did Chad Giffford save this guy’s job and push him for CEO?? Moynihan is clueless, wake up BAC Board of Directors!!!!
Why, you ask, would Chad fight so hard for Mumbles (so christened by former BAC finance manager Rob Hull)??? Chad wanted to continue his use of the plane and the box seats, and to continue his chairmanship of the foundation (where he gets to give away BAC cash and maintain his SD status in Beantown). It’s funny at BAC, the backstory is always so simple.
Meanwhile, despite a legacy of always having a preeminent finance team, with former world class CFOs like Hance, Oken and DeMolina, Brian follows up with Joe Price, (who couldn’t carry Al D’s mojito). Then in a flash of Beantown brilliance, Mumbles decides to import Noski, not from another megabank, or even a swank boutique IB. No pedigree consulting co. either. Nope, not the former Managing Partner of one of the big 4. Old Charlie was the CFO of Northrop Grumman. Hmmm. Right when the company was in it’s worst financial crisis in it’s history??? A guy from a defense contractor?? Huh?
And now Bruce Thompson?? Good guy but his last job in Finance was when?? EVER??
Brian, stop listening to your handlers. You are running one of the largest and most important financial services company in the world. You need world class leadership and certainly a world class CFO if the company has a chance of returning to it’s glory days and if you have a chance of surviving. Do the smart thing and bring back Al DeMolina.
Given his performance, Mumbles Moynihan should fly to Hong Kong and chase some Asians with Brian Brille…or kite surfing on the job like BB!!!
BTW, have you ever seen a Readheaded CEO? Case closed, fire the guy.
BTW, have you ever seen a Readheaded CEO? Case closed, fire the guy.