As you may have heard, because he’s said it a bunch of times, were Donald Trump to be elected President of the United States, his first order of business would be to “deal” with this China situation. Specifically, Trump has said he’d tell the Chinese that “If you don’t stop manipulating your currency, we’re going to put a 25 percent tax on your products that come into the US.” The Don has made the case that he’s uniquely qualified to run this country because unlike our pussy diplomats (who “went to school to learn how to be nice”), he’d “deliver to the message” to to China in away that would get them to take the threat seriously. Today during a town hall, Trump workshopped some lines and so far here’s what he’s got: “Listen you motherfuckers, we’re going to tax you 25 percent.”

And when it comes to gas prices, he’d take a similar tack with a simple “You’re not going to raise that fucking price.”

Trump to China: ‘Listen You Motherf—ers, We’re Going to Tax You 25 Percent’ [Daily Intel]

94 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (94)

  1. Posted by urbanity | April 29, 2011 at 6:04 PM

    Trump gets my vote as long as I get Ivanka’s nudes. Just sayin’.

    – UBS analyst

  2. Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    Start saying “j” instead of “y” in words like “you” and the scale totally tips towards quaking in boots.

    “Listen jou motherfuckers…”

  3. Posted by CDNGuest | April 29, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    Canadian Guest, can’t comment due to my own country’s Carnival Barker Festivus going on right now.

  4. Posted by Nosmo King | April 29, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Love the mullet. The guy has my vote.
    – Barry Melrose

  5. Posted by | April 29, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    King Canute

  6. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    Nobody embarrasses you like your parents.

    (Nice UBS shot, well done.)

  7. Posted by Lord Humongous | April 29, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    Bess, any relation?

  8. Posted by urbanity | April 29, 2011 at 6:15 PM

    “Trump is a good looking dude … if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin’s ears.”

  9. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    Awesome Tommy Boy reference

  10. Posted by Mark Brown | April 29, 2011 at 6:17 PM

    Nice First Lady, the face of Melanie Knauss seems to be botox-fixed

  11. Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    …because this worked so very well in 1930…

  12. Posted by Conway Archer | April 29, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    That right there – that kind of rascism is why I can’t wait to see tiny little Chinese boots on your white-ass necks. Which may sound hypocritical, I know, but…

  13. Posted by Guest-a-lama-ding-dong | April 29, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    -Alan Thicke

  14. Posted by Gast | April 29, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    Could his running mate be Samuel L Jackson?

  15. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    The Donald is approaching the… “DANGER ZONE!!”

  16. Posted by Indecisive Naked Guy | April 29, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    The Chinese would just eat the dog glued to his head and then laugh at him.

  17. Posted by early hominid | April 29, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    Animated Taiwanese news clip currently in production featuring a big orange orangutan calling people motherfuckers.

  18. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    Did UBS predict the sale on Easter candy this week?

  19. Posted by guest | April 29, 2011 at 6:42 PM

    Please, please let him run for president

  20. Posted by Dr. Rosenrose | April 29, 2011 at 6:53 PM

    We’ve devalued our currency by 11% in the last year, and tacitly caused our high gas prices. The Chinaman is not the issue here dude.

  21. Posted by Spanishmoon | April 29, 2011 at 6:53 PM

    Exactly. It’s as if Trump went to Vegas, dug up Liberace and stole his hair.

  22. Posted by CDC Jr., IV | April 29, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    By the way, in the 1880 – 1910 the US had a similar trade policy & while most will argue that protectionism never works, when it comes to unfair trade practices…it does work much better than just doing nothing.

  23. Posted by Smooth Stones | April 29, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    Donald 2012!
    -Keith Stone

  24. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    F-Bomb drinking game?

  25. Posted by urbanity | April 29, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    Oddly enough our dental plans don’t cover moral decay from candy ingestion so we weren’t following cocoa, but we did predict that our investors would surely count their chickens before their nest eggs hatched… and we were right. Again.

    – UBS analyst eating an EPIC chocolate bunny

  26. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Nothing beats the Gary England drinking game.

    -Okie weather derivatives trader

  27. Posted by Kudlow Army Faction | April 29, 2011 at 7:09 PM

    You all wait until this Great American becomes the leader of the free world…

  28. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    Release your motherfuc*king tax returns!

    -guy who wishes Trump would go back to pimping real estate, cologne, vodka and get rich quick seminars.

  29. Posted by Sssssssss | April 29, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    “Hey China, nobody fucks over their bondholders like I do. You got me motherfuckers??!!”


  30. Posted by Indecisive Naked Guy | April 29, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    Are you kidding me, this guy could buy China if he wanted to. He is worth trillions.

  31. Posted by Frankydimples | April 29, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    spit out my drink laughing

  32. Posted by Baccarat Master | April 29, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    Trump vs China

    winner take all…

    Oh, sh!t we’re F@cked!


  33. Posted by Chanos | April 29, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    Needs to do the motherfucker act on Bernanke and that little smarmy pissant Timmy Geithner. Fuck China, we can’t even deal with our own morons at the fed and treasury

  34. Posted by Roast | April 29, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    Asserting your stupidity is not a constructive pastime.

  35. Posted by llcoolj | April 29, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    why does ubs suck?

  36. Posted by idiotchild | April 29, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    what a fkn twat. china not only owns like 95% of rare earths, he’s just going to end up pissing off the country thats been the main reason inflations been so low in the states/ sarah palin and donald trump on the ticket jesus. bring back bush , atleast everyone knew he was fkn incompetent

  37. Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    As you have so kindly demonstrated for us all.

    -Guy who gets the joke.

  38. Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Difference is that we were a net *exporter* in 1895, hoss.

  39. Posted by Big Fat Slob | April 29, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    jew motherfuckers? dass rascist

  40. Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2011 at 8:13 PM

    Jou no see Scarface?

  41. Posted by trojan | April 29, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    i think they’d play a joke involving Coke as well

  42. Posted by Guest | April 29, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    Dude(ette) – Don’t dis on Liberace like that. At least that guy had something to add to the human condition.

    Also, to Mr. Stone below, “You’re sooo smoooth!” :)

  43. Posted by JohnGalt | April 29, 2011 at 10:49 PM

    I am glad someone knows the score in terms of how the Chinks are screwing this country!

  44. Posted by Gunmoney | April 29, 2011 at 11:14 PM

    we’re fucked. let’s find a way to frankenstein hitler instead.

  45. Posted by Fartfucker | April 29, 2011 at 11:15 PM

    actually bad idea, he’s find out he’s a stein and immediately kill himself again

  46. Posted by Put_Option | April 29, 2011 at 11:22 PM

    Trump is to politics, what the New York Post is to news

  47. Posted by Rajlover | April 29, 2011 at 11:26 PM

    Bush was incompetent?

    –UBS Strategist

  48. Posted by Rajlover | April 29, 2011 at 11:27 PM

    The Chinese are screwing this country?

    –UBS client who actually pays them….

  49. Posted by Davisville1 | April 29, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    I heard China’s response:

    “Listen you Son of a b*tch…how many times you have to file for bankruptcy? How many times you’ve been married ? You birther issue prove you are imbecile.”

  50. Posted by GeorgeSoros | April 30, 2011 at 12:26 AM

    He’s such an idiot. China will just say, “ok, we’ll just stop importing to the US.” the government has a huge surplus and their workers are dirt poor anyway so they don’t lose much. If they complain, they just go to jail. Then they’ll just dump our treasuries and fuck us even more. Then every company in the US is fucked. Trump, you’re old and useless. You were lucky to get into Wharton and lucky to buy nyc real estate. You’re an entertainer not a businessman. And you’re a pussy.

  51. Posted by Guest | April 30, 2011 at 1:15 AM

    And now we’re a net exporter of … “Jobs”… VICTORY

    Oh, wait

  52. Posted by guest | April 30, 2011 at 3:34 AM

    Sounds like a billion dollar opportunity

  53. Posted by Guest | April 30, 2011 at 3:45 AM

    1. Trump
    2. ?*
    3. Success

    *Desperate search by Trump’s head for light at the end of the rectal tunnel vision.

  54. Posted by No | April 30, 2011 at 5:10 AM

    You lost me at “importing to the US”

  55. Posted by Guy who knows his shit | April 30, 2011 at 5:13 AM

    Difference is in 1930 we were on a gold standard and ran a trade surplus.

  56. Posted by PTJ | April 30, 2011 at 5:15 AM

    “Protectionism never works”

    Oh yeah? See China from WTO entry to now. Pretty sure that motherfucker worked.

  57. Posted by duckducking | April 30, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    ….in response to AmericOns killing and screwing the world for more than 70 years now…ahhh at least someone knows how to respond..priceless!

  58. Posted by AIG Quant | April 30, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    More even, he’s worth billions.
    -AIG Quant-

  59. Posted by Guest | April 30, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    also it was 80 years ago, that too.

    — UBS Quant

  60. Posted by Guest | April 30, 2011 at 11:01 PM
  61. Posted by Hu Jintao | May 1, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    “In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king”

    Ancient Chinese Proverb

  62. Posted by Guest | May 1, 2011 at 11:16 PM

    “In the land of the vag-less Raj is going to make a great wife.”

  63. Posted by Guest | May 2, 2011 at 12:34 AM

    The world may never know.

  64. Posted by Guest | May 2, 2011 at 12:34 AM

    It’ll never happen. Not guilty verdict by Tuesday lunchtime.

  65. Posted by Global Macro | May 3, 2011 at 12:42 AM

    Interesting. Ego even bigger than his hair. Or is it the other way round? America ran out of talented candidates for Presidency now that they have to field the Donald? Yeah, send in the clowns……

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