Lenny Dykstra, described by his ex-best friend Jim Cramer as one of “the greats” in the investing industry, has reportedly been charged with with bankruptcy fraud for “selling items from his $18 million California mansion.”
That would, of course, be the Sherwood mansion he bought from Wayne Gretzky in 2007 and was later kicked out of, but refused to leave before stripping the bathroom fixtures out of the place, which were presumably among the items he sold. Also! Apparently Nails was arrested last night by the LAPD on “unrelated charges.” Those are all the details we have at this time, so while we wait, how about we take a stab at what LD got cuffed for. Being the Dykstra scholars we are, the first things that comes to mind are that his “In the Money Calls” raised a red flag with the SEC, which got him on insider trading or he was caught patronizing a hooker. Alternatively, as he’s hit rock bottom, he could have been arrested for attempting to be a hooker. Additionally, it’s possible he was caught breaking into a Twizzlers factory. What say you?
Update: “An affidavit filed by FBI Special Agent Ty Thomas lays out how federal investigators allege the baseball legend “sold many items belonging to the bankruptcy estate” and “destroyed and hid other estate items, depriving the estate of a combined $400,000 of assets.” Dykstra allegedly had dozens of items including chandeliers, mirrors, artwork, a stove and a grandfather clock delivered to a consignment store, Uniques, on South Barrington Avenue in West Los Angeles. The owner of the store paid him cash for a U-Haul truckload of goods, according to the agent.” [LATimes]
I did not see this coming.
- Dennis Gartman
I’m pretty sure he wasn’t crashing a Mensa Conference.
Dykstra may go down as the first person arrested for stealing second base. Or as he likes to call it “dropping a deuce.”
Hope floats, Nails’ checks bounce.
That liar said he would cum in my mouth! I had to call the police.
-Tilly
They finally nailed him.
I heard a rumor LAPD had to enter the alleged crime scene in biohazard suits carrying rolls of toilet paper.
Cramer should be arrested for ever promoting the horror that was Dykes trading strategies
He was obviously arrested for insider trading. Just look at how well his investments have gone.
Heard rumors that LD has been spotted in recent weeks selling handies for spare change on Sunset whilst wearing an Alice (from wonderland) outfit…trying to look “sexy” w/ a twizzler in his mouth.
Impersonating Carlos Delgado
This is all a big misunderstanding…the incident at his house (the one where he shit all over the walls…well officially that’s not what happened, but I think we know it’s true). You see, he’s trying to reinvent himself as a Banksy-esque street artist, using his own feces as his medium. He was arrested when his art was mistaken for a crazy drugged out whack job throwing feces at passing cars.
Now a NAMBLA convention on the other hand….
check fraud
Last I heard of Dykstra, he was the water delivery guy for the Northwestern Mutual Orange office.
Pretty obvious that the tide went out.
This is a sad day in America.
=Pop Historian
He got busted toe tapping Cramer in the men’s room. I hear George Michael was there too.
Unrelated charges…beating the crap out of a Giants fan on opening day?
-T. Astless
He was hiding out in a Van Nuys apt.
Or at least that’s what I heard through the red vine.
The minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were no good
-Jim Cramer today
He beat up a random SF Giants fan.
Probably more likely to be crashing a Clemson classroom than a Mensa Conference
Cramer is such a good judge of character. And talent. I’m not sure I even believe his claim that he and Dykstra were good in bed together.
Unrelated charges…that means it wasn’t HIS ninth grade niece.
Does Rosie O’Donnell have an options trading strategy too? This is getting out of hand.
he was winning
duh
Are Twizzlers allowed in the slammer? If not, I hope they know to put him on suicide watch.
I rest my case….Jim Cramer’s judgement = tits on a bull.
Some say that Lenny Dykstra is the New Stig… And he’s been seen driving around the Top Gear test track with angry hookers in the trunk
“Lenny Dykstra is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.” – J. Cramer
Does this mean I am also ineligible for the Investment Manager Hall of Fame now?
-Leonard S. Dykstra, CFA
I beg to differ
I will be out of the office from Monday April 18 returning on Thursday, April 21 with no access to email or voicemail.
Please contact Karl Seus at 212-350-2474 or Lissa Silva at 212-350-2014 during my absence.
Thank you.
UBS sucks
I will be out of the office from Monday April 18 returning on Thursday, April 21 with no access to email or voicemail.
Please contact Karl Seus at 212-350-2474 or Lissa Silva at 212-350-2014 during my absence.
Thank you.
lenny dykstra. he has NEVER had a losing trade. since i’ve been following his advice i haven’t either. there is just the matter of one open position that he kept telling me to double down on until the underlying reaches my $1 gain on a $100 stock. the current size of the position is 10,456,439,560 calls.
If you want to take your stuff to the street, give us a call.
Sincerely,
Your Friends at
The Union Bank of Switzerland
being the subject of an LAPD investigation is the NKI
Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel.
Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.
-Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!
Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.
-Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!
Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.
-Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!
Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.
-Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!
Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.
What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?
Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.
What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?
Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.
What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?
Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.
What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?