Lenny Dykstra, described by his ex-best friend Jim Cramer as one of “the greats” in the investing industry, has reportedly been charged with with bankruptcy fraud for “selling items from his $18 million California mansion.”

That would, of course, be the Sherwood mansion he bought from Wayne Gretzky in 2007 and was later kicked out of, but refused to leave before stripping the bathroom fixtures out of the place, which were presumably among the items he sold. Also! Apparently Nails was arrested last night by the LAPD on “unrelated charges.” Those are all the details we have at this time, so while we wait, how about we take a stab at what LD got cuffed for. Being the Dykstra scholars we are, the first things that comes to mind are that his “In the Money Calls” raised a red flag with the SEC, which got him on insider trading or he was caught patronizing a hooker. Alternatively, as he’s hit rock bottom, he could have been arrested for attempting to be a hooker. Additionally, it’s possible he was caught breaking into a Twizzlers factory. What say you?

Update: “An affidavit filed by FBI Special Agent Ty Thomas lays out how federal investigators allege the baseball legend “sold many items belonging to the bankruptcy estate” and “destroyed and hid other estate items, depriving the estate of a combined $400,000 of assets.” Dykstra allegedly had dozens of items including chandeliers, mirrors, artwork, a stove and a grandfather clock delivered to a consignment store, Uniques, on South Barrington Avenue in West Los Angeles. The owner of the store paid him cash for a U-Haul truckload of goods, according to the agent.” [LATimes]

137 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (137)

  1. Posted by Dirka Dirkastan | April 15, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    I did not see this coming.

    – Dennis Gartman

  2. Posted by Clemson Guy | April 15, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    I’m pretty sure he wasn’t crashing a Mensa Conference.

  3. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    Dykstra may go down as the first person arrested for stealing second base. Or as he likes to call it “dropping a deuce.”

  4. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    Hope floats, Nails’ checks bounce.

  5. Posted by Mexi-Cant | April 15, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    That liar said he would cum in my mouth! I had to call the police.

    -Tilly

  6. Posted by Nosmo King | April 15, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    They finally nailed him.

  7. Posted by Heard at Nobu | April 15, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    I heard a rumor LAPD had to enter the alleged crime scene in biohazard suits carrying rolls of toilet paper.

  8. Posted by guest worker | April 15, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    Cramer should be arrested for ever promoting the horror that was Dykes trading strategies

  9. Posted by Dr. Rosenrose | April 15, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    He was obviously arrested for insider trading. Just look at how well his investments have gone.

  10. Posted by Gentleman Trader | April 15, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    Heard rumors that LD has been spotted in recent weeks selling handies for spare change on Sunset whilst wearing an Alice (from wonderland) outfit…trying to look “sexy” w/ a twizzler in his mouth.

  11. Posted by Minaya | April 15, 2011 at 8:12 PM

    Impersonating Carlos Delgado

  12. Posted by GGGuest | April 15, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    This is all a big misunderstanding…the incident at his house (the one where he shit all over the walls…well officially that’s not what happened, but I think we know it’s true). You see, he’s trying to reinvent himself as a Banksy-esque street artist, using his own feces as his medium. He was arrested when his art was mistaken for a crazy drugged out whack job throwing feces at passing cars.

  13. Posted by Cartman | April 15, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    Now a NAMBLA convention on the other hand….

  14. Posted by Arresting Officer | April 15, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    check fraud

  15. Posted by Guest | April 15, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    Last I heard of Dykstra, he was the water delivery guy for the Northwestern Mutual Orange office.

  16. Posted by Omaha Observer | April 15, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    Pretty obvious that the tide went out.

  17. Posted by Guest | April 15, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    This is a sad day in America.

    =Pop Historian

  18. Posted by DEATHSMITH | April 15, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    He got busted toe tapping Cramer in the men’s room. I hear George Michael was there too.

  19. Posted by guest | April 15, 2011 at 8:42 PM

    Unrelated charges…beating the crap out of a Giants fan on opening day?

    -T. Astless

  20. Posted by DM | April 15, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    He was hiding out in a Van Nuys apt.

    Or at least that’s what I heard through the red vine.

  21. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    The minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were no good

    -Jim Cramer today

  22. Posted by Viscous Animal Buyer | April 15, 2011 at 9:03 PM

    He beat up a random SF Giants fan.

  23. Posted by Nails | April 15, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    Probably more likely to be crashing a Clemson classroom than a Mensa Conference

  24. Posted by Lisa | April 15, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    Cramer is such a good judge of character. And talent. I’m not sure I even believe his claim that he and Dykstra were good in bed together.

  25. Posted by Gene E. Ology | April 15, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    Unrelated charges…that means it wasn’t HIS ninth grade niece.

  26. Posted by JR | April 15, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    Does Rosie O’Donnell have an options trading strategy too? This is getting out of hand.

  27. Posted by Seaman Bodine | April 15, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    he was winning

    duh

  28. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    Are Twizzlers allowed in the slammer? If not, I hope they know to put him on suicide watch.

  29. Posted by Booya | April 15, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    I rest my case….Jim Cramer’s judgement = tits on a bull.

  30. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    Some say that Lenny Dykstra is the New Stig… And he’s been seen driving around the Top Gear test track with angry hookers in the trunk

  31. Posted by guest | April 15, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    “Lenny Dykstra is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.” – J. Cramer

  32. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    Does this mean I am also ineligible for the Investment Manager Hall of Fame now?

    -Leonard S. Dykstra, CFA

  33. Posted by Confucius | April 15, 2011 at 9:51 PM

    I beg to differ

  34. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    I will be out of the office from Monday April 18 returning on Thursday, April 21 with no access to email or voicemail.

    Please contact Karl Seus at 212-350-2474 or Lissa Silva at 212-350-2014 during my absence.

    Thank you.

  35. Posted by Guest | April 15, 2011 at 11:50 PM

    UBS sucks

  36. Posted by Anonymous | April 15, 2011 at 11:51 PM

    I will be out of the office from Monday April 18 returning on Thursday, April 21 with no access to email or voicemail.

    Please contact Karl Seus at 212-350-2474 or Lissa Silva at 212-350-2014 during my absence.

    Thank you.

  37. Posted by Pro Investor | April 16, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    lenny dykstra. he has NEVER had a losing trade. since i’ve been following his advice i haven’t either. there is just the matter of one open position that he kept telling me to double down on until the underlying reaches my $1 gain on a $100 stock. the current size of the position is 10,456,439,560 calls.

  38. Posted by Guest | April 16, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    If you want to take your stuff to the street, give us a call.

    Sincerely,
    Your Friends at

    The Union Bank of Switzerland

  39. Posted by NattyLAX | April 18, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    being the subject of an LAPD investigation is the NKI

  40. Posted by Bud Fox | April 18, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel.

  41. Posted by Pro Investor | April 18, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.

    -Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!

  42. Posted by Pro Investor | April 18, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.

    -Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!

  43. Posted by Pro Investor | April 18, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.

    -Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!

  44. Posted by Pro Investor | April 18, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Very nice of you guys to offer, but my friend – who’s ex AIG- says there is no risk whatsoever in the position.

    -Pro Mastor Investor lololol roflkopter !!!1!

  45. Posted by Guest | April 18, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.

    What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?

  46. Posted by Guest | April 18, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.

    What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?

  47. Posted by Guest | April 18, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.

    What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?

  48. Posted by Guest | April 18, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Updated at 1:14 p.m.: The Los Angeles Police Department Commercial Crimes Division arrested Dykstra in Encino at 8 p.m. Thursday on separate grand theft charges related to the purchase of vehicles. He was arrested by the Forgery Section of the of LAPD Commercial Crimes Division.

    What is going on with this? Grand theft auto…?

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