News, Private Equity

Lynn Tilton Bares All

What do we know about Lynn Tilton? She runs the $8 billion private equity firm Patriarch Partners, and prior to that worked on Wall Street with a slightly lower profile with gigs at Morgan Stanley, Merrill Lynch and Amroc. She sports 5-inch heels to “look sufficiently fierce to make sure I garner the respect I deserve.” Her office is decorated with whips, handcuffs, and a portrait of her “stretched across the hood of a black Mercedes.” She only “strips and flips men, not companies.” And she once sent a Christmas card to customers that featured a stuffed tiger, a naughty Santa suit and a whip. But that’s all surface. Until now, we haven’t really gotten to the mystery underneath the Roberto Cavalli miniskirt and a fur-trimmed cape, or determined her motivations and what makes Tilton tick. Luckily, Lynn recently granted audience with New York and let it all out. Every burning question you’ve wanted answered. Like:

Why did she decide to start Patriach, when she’d retired from Wall Street, had “a good-looking man, great sex, a small island, and was still looking good in a thong bikini”? A vision.

One night, on vacation in Costa Rica, she woke suddenly. “I was laying there in this hotel room, and I saw my father and my Mayan teacher very vividly,” she explains. “They said this was not what was planned for me. I said, ‘Why did I go through this path, to empty myself out of any needs or material longings, only to be sent back to New York to be a businessperson?’ And the answer was: You’re not capable of leading until nothing can hold you back. Get your ass back to New York. So I got up in the middle of the night and left.”

Does she see herself as the female George Soros? Yes.

Tilton’s goal is “to be part of the intelligentsia. An enlightened thinker. One of the people who are called together to think through economic issues for America. You know, like how George Soros is called on issues.”

Why is she pissed at Obama, for whom she voted? He hasn’t called her and she highly suspects he’s plagiarised her work.

“Look, I am the largest female business owner in this country,” she says, coming out from behind the rack in a Herve Leger gown. “I own 74 midsize businesses, and Obama has not once called me into the White House on these issues.” More offensive, Tilton claims, as a female stylist reaches into the bodice of the dress to plump up her cleavage, the president has borrowed language from her articles. “I mean actually lifting pieces,” she says. “Literally, I can give you paragraphs. I got like twenty e-mails after his speech, when he was like, ‘We need to be innovators and the makers of things.’ ”

Why doesn’t she cover up her breasts, despite being told “too much boob” will hinder her grand aspirations? They’re part of her total package.

“I think the fact that I look like this hinders me in some ways,” Tilton says between outfit changes. “But that’s also what makes me so much more fascinating, right? I mean, hello. I’m just trying to be someone who provides it all.”

Why did she send out the Christmas card pictured at left (first published here in ’09)to her clients?

By 1998, she had $10 million in the bank, enough to support herself and Carly for life, and she decided it was time to retire. She left her job at the time, as a partner at Amroc, though not before sending clients a Christmas card that has since become legendary: Double-sided, it featured two photographs, one of Tilton in a red lace bodysuit and Santa hat, straddling a stepladder, and the other of her wielding a whip in black lingerie and high vinyl boots. Her clients “were always asking what color underwear I was wearing,” she says. “So that was my farewell gift.”

What kind of grooming does Tilton go for? The full monty.

“I’m all about transparency,” she explains, as the dress falls to the floor. She’s not wearing any underwear. “Where do you get someone who’s worth looking at and listening to?” Stark naked except for her Gucci heels, seamless Brazilian Bronze tan, and diamond necklace, she flicks through the rack of clothes.

What is her go-to joke, used in both the Patriarch offices and during bankruptcy auctions?

“There are three universal lies: Margins are weak, but we’ll make it up in volume; the check’s in the mail; and I won’t come in your mouth.”

Will she be honest about what she thinks of your waistline? Yes.

Once, in front of a roomful of people at another company, she grabbed an overweight executive by his collar and dragged him over to a mirror. “What do you see?” she demanded. “Because I see a lazy, fat fuck.”

Does she believe in playing good cop and bad cop? Both of those, and maybe the cop who will sodomize you a little bit sometimes, too.

“I hug people when they walk into the room, I smack the crap out of them when we’re in there, and I hug them on the way out,” she told me in February. “You have to have that warmth and that fierceness.”

What was she put on earth to do?

Giliotti recalls a conversation he had with Tilton after the takeover of Stila cosmetics in 2009. Tilton was getting her makeup done by an employee, who happened to mention the cuts that Giliotti had made since the takeover: the layoffs, the salary reductions, and the people who had found themselves personally saddled with the bill for their corporate AmEx. Tilton called Giliotti immediately. “Emil, we can’t do this,” she said. “This is not me. I’m not put on this Earth to do this. I was put on this Earth to save jobs and help people.”

What will this be the year of?

“This year,” she says, “is going to be the year of Ruthless.”

And Jell-O shots. It’s always the year of the Jell-O shot.

What Does It Take For A Female Tycoon To Get Noticed Around Here? [NYM]

235 comments
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235 Responses to “Lynn Tilton Bares All”

  1. JBEV says:

    Tilton Watch 2k11 – blowing up like Bear Sterns

  2. Donald_Trump says:

    Sounds to me Ms. Tilton is trying real hard to get a TV show.

  3. Ping J says:

    Tilton and I both like our employees on their knees.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Where once she was simply a carny sideshow attraction, she’s now a disgusting caricature. Of what, I’m not certain, but to the extent I care about her at all (minimal), I find myself rooting for her downfall.

    • Anonymous says:

      I prefer to think of her as equality in action. She is giving all those douchey dudes like Epstein and Gundlach a run for their money.

      xoxo

      • Anonymous says:

        Part of me wishes we could put them all on some remote island with no access to publicity… then again, the other part of me says that this industry would get pretty damned boring if we did so.

        • Anonymous says:

          Add Ping, Stanford, The Ponz, Raj, McCrudden and we have Survivor-Wall Street Edition. That much crazy on a remote island would be compelling TV.

      • Guest says:

        Watch your tongue! Gundlach is a god.
        -Fleshlight, Gangbang My Face, and a 7.5 in glass penis in a velvet bag

  5. Guest says:

    I would lick Jell-O off that!
    -B. Cosby

  6. brian hunter says:

    she worked at the pussycat , near the old world trade center.

  7. LynnTiltonXXX says:

    When the CEO of American Apparel does similar things, he gets called a pervert and is named in numerous, well-publicized harassment suits.

  8. Yesss says:

    Lynn Tilton and Meredith Whitney, scissor sisters.

    Discuss.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well, they’re both over-hyped, thick-waisted broads with faces only a mother could love and either delusional self love or some combination of zero access to a working mirror and poor comparative skills.

      Not sure if this supports your hypothesis, but I wanted to put it out there.

      • Guest says:

        I would never put Whitney in the same category as Tilton. Tilton deserves whatever damage she is doing to her own reputation, but Whitney’s only “mistake” has been to make dire statements about the condition of Wall Street, and she is hardly alone on that. She is also at least as competent as the typical multi-billion dollar hedge fund manager, which admittedly isn’t saying much. Unfortunate that Whitney and Gross get treated with thinly veiled contempt when they are likely far closer to the truth than the talking robots on CNBC.

        • Anonymous says:

          Point taken. I have no issue with Whitney’s prognostications, since I’m not a muni market participant. My only issue with her is the periodic attempts to market herself and her firm not based on her smarts, but on her decidedly average looks and alleged glamor.

        • Biff Moments says:

          HI, Meredith! I put in my resume for your ratings agency but have not heard back. Wanted to check up on my app…

  9. Guest says:

    Smelly Snatch — Pee-ew

  10. Mad Martigan says:

    She looks like the actor who played Willow in the hit 1980’s move, Willow.

    • Anonymous says:

      With black hair, cut short, she’d look just like Hervé Villechaize in Fantasy Island.

  11. Oooh baby! says:

    TV show, huh? You have to have talent to be a celebrity.

    -The Kardashians

  12. guest says:

    “I was laying there in this hotel room, and I saw my father and my Mayan teacher very vividly”

    I could, but I won’t go there.

    -Guy who believes in being subtle

  13. Guest says:

    It shriveled.

  14. just sayin' says:

    I have a bad feeling about this. If you substitute “Lenny Dykstra” for “Lynn Tilton” and “showing too much boob” for “shitting on the floor,” you can easily see where this is going to end up….

  15. Diesel7 says:

    Its good to see Randy the Ram land on his feet, he was going down a dark path

    • Guest says:

      -18 DB Points. You almost have enough to redeem for your choice of either a dog leash or a trip to your local Citi branch were you argue over your credit card bill.

      • Koolaidisfun says:

        were you argue?

        You can argue about the past? Perhaps you wanted where?

        Oh wait, this is not the above the law comments.

        • Guest says:

          I apologize for the typo, I wish could correct the post, but I am quite certain that you are smart enough to understand what was being conveyed.

  16. Diesel7 says:

    Clearly you know funnysir, that was horrible. Go back to work fixing trade breaks

  17. Guest says:

    This CLO strategy sounds brilliant!
    -BM

  18. Tuckhead says:

    Is this image real or fake?

    U choose

    Dartmouth WASP

    • Anonymous says:

      It’s real. She was photographed by NYM.

      • Confused Commenter says:

        That poor poor photographer.

        Nonetheless, furiously begins to masturbate, clandestinely.

        • Guest says:

          Masturbate clandestinely?!? You didn’t perchance work at the NSA and recent submitted a resume with plenty of jazz hands did you?

          • ClandestineHR says:

            New requirements for the clandestine services applicants: fingerprints, blood, urine, semen. Due to EOE requirements, ovum extraction for female applicants.

          • Clandestine trader says:

            Just give them your underwear.

      • Tuckhead says:

        haha i was comparing it to the advertisement of that pig looking human in the upper right corner…thanks for clearing it up though

      • Tuckhead says:

        haha i was comparing it to the advertisement of that pig looking human in the upper right corner…thanks for clearing it up though

  19. shooter mcgavin says:

    an enlightened thinker…like George Soros…seriously wtf?!?! anyone who thinks Soros is enlightened is fucking retarded! legendary HF manager, most definitely but enlightened thinker, no…words can’t describe my fury at this interview…she also hideous to look at, i’ve never seen a turd so diligently polished…

    -Guy who is too annoyed to make jokes.

  20. Proxyguy says:

    I’m certainly ready for a stripping, but I will not flip for anyone. Also, I’m not going to sit around listening to that rubbish about enlightenment or whatever. She’ll have to shut up.

  21. Baracka Khan says:

    What’s a female business?

  22. Spanishmoon says:

    “What do you see?” she demanded. “Because I see a lazy, fat fuck.” – Obama to Harry Reid

    Plagiarism indeed!

  23. Bill Clinton says:

    Where have you been all my life? You would have been most welcome in my white house

  24. Gundlach says:

    I’d invest

  25. Ken Lewis says:

    Angelo Mozilo + Lynn Tilton a match made in heaven

  26. Raja says:

    She could use my fat ass as a table to do the shots, she doesn’t have to use her body. She would look good in spandex too.

  27. guest says:

    bess has better underwear.

  28. Gorby baby says:

    I want make sex with this woman. She has chubby breast and very nice pussy, I have sure. I want to introduce her to my russian love pole and make her beg. I am not fat fuck maybe little bit lazy but I want fuck this woman

  29. Ruth Peterson says:

    I think Lynn Tilton is so cool.

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  32. akulkis says:

    Voted for Obama and wants to be part of the intelligencia.

    Uh huh. Must be some new definition of intelligent that nobody else has ever heard of.

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