You’re asked to take part in one team building exercise involving licking whipped cream off the boss’s breasts and all of a sudden you can’t have sex for months.

“It’s a form of control and humiliation,” says another employee, adding that the experience of working for Tilton was so emasculating that it took him months after leaving the firm to have sex again. This employee also says that Tilton perceives all of her male employees as being in love with her. Which is perhaps the reason that, holding court in a conference room during her 50th- birthday party, Tilton offered her male employees a choice: They could take a Jell-O shot off her stomach or lick whipped cream off her breasts. “The crazy part was, she saw it as morale building,” says one person present. “People were hiding in the bathroom.”

What Does It Take For A Female Tycoon To Get Noticed Around Here? [NYM]

Comments (81)

  1. Posted by Indeed | April 11, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    At least there was no option involving cottage cheese behind her thighs.

  2. Posted by In The Now | April 11, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    Didn’t the GoDaddy CEO shoot one of those once?

  3. Posted by SECAttorney | April 11, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    Lynn is awesome. She did a 15-min live show for me on ladyboyjuice-dt-com before I was reprimanded.

    -SEC Attorney

  4. Posted by LynnTiTlon | April 11, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Nothing says employee loyalty like ATM in the conference room.
    XOXO
    ~Lynn

  5. Posted by Guest | April 11, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    She used the morale line on me too. Right before she put me in the box.
    The Gimp

  6. Posted by Supraman | April 11, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Sounds like Lynn and Ping attended the same management course. Perhaps they could join forces. “Patriarch Ping Partners” has a nice ring to it.

  7. Posted by Anonymous | April 11, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Emasculated Intern: Um, Ms. Tilton, ma’am? What was it you wanted me to get you for lunch?

    LT: The same thing I have every day sugardick: one tossed salad

    EI: Oh, ok. What kind of dressing do you want?

    LT: You’re not catching my drift sweetheart…

  8. Posted by Dr. Rosenrose | April 11, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    NY Mag did her no favors using the pics of her on that Queen Anne after she obviously crushed the middle of it.

  9. Posted by Guest | April 11, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    Option three involved a strategically placed maraschino cherry (stem-side out).

    -Guy who was so emasculated by Tilton he left to found Matriarch Partners

  10. Posted by PunchlineFinisher | April 11, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    …it’s about what kind of dressing YOU want.

  11. Posted by Spanishmoon | April 11, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    You mean you didn’t have the option of a Jello shot AND the cream licking?

  12. Posted by Anonymous | April 11, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  13. Posted by Guest | April 11, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    I never thought of hiding in the washroom during team building. Thanks, Patriarchers!

  14. Posted by Guest | April 11, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    Lights off, silicone filled jello shots, scream mask on her, life size cutout of Tilton staring at me, my eyes gouged out, gag ball in my mouth, tears falling down my face, while handcuffed to the gimp from Pulp Fiction.

  15. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | April 11, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    I’m hiding in the bathroom right now…with my phone open to the above picture…while shamefully masturbating

  16. Posted by Covey 01 | April 11, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    Come on, who would be desperate to tap that ass? More than a mouthfull is a waste anyway.

  17. Posted by Guest | April 11, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    Crybabies. Let me tell you something about being emasculated…

    – Andrew Tong

  18. Posted by He Who Cuts Up | April 11, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    Bastard!! You beat me to it.

  19. Posted by anon | April 11, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Add soya sauce and wasabi, the fishy taste will go away….

    Fukushima survivor

  20. Posted by Lumberjack | April 11, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Yeah, right. Only if it’s Paul Bunyan’s mouth.

  21. Posted by VictoryIsMine | April 11, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    too soon.

  22. Posted by Guy Who Checks Stuff | April 11, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    The Ansaldi people DO have 3 balls in their logo thanks to LT!

    http://www.asiansaldo.com/english/index.php

  23. Posted by Bac Koffice | April 11, 2011 at 3:19 PM

    I could see this being an issue if Raj used these morale building techniques.

    “Raj offered his male employees a choice: They could take a Jell-O shot off his stomach or lick whipped cream off his breasts.”

  24. Posted by PDDivision | April 11, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    C’mon guys, don’be such stiffs. She was just trying to do the Katy Perry whipped cream can thing from the California Girls clip, that’s all.

    -Patriarch Dairy Division

  25. Posted by Guest | April 11, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    Brutal imagery…..

  26. Posted by The Penseur | April 11, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Trying to imagine Steinhardt having a conversation with her at Taco Bell on their first date.

  27. Posted by jackwagon | April 11, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Yeah, way too soon.

  28. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | April 11, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    You mean at Taco Bell where they met, right? I heard this broad is a sucker for critter ties and the #6 with beef gorditas.

  29. Posted by trojan | April 11, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    anybody else catch lynn’s postings assness-style last week, on the response to forbes thread

  30. Posted by Texashedge | April 11, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    That couch collapsed faster than Rory on ten

  31. Posted by streethockey | April 11, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    funny, this is what Lenny D offered the folks at CNBC for an interview.

  32. Posted by Gozer | April 11, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    snookie’s mom needs to cut back on the sweet pickles

  33. Posted by AnAdmirerOfHisWork | April 11, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Oh, RECEIPT GUY, where art thou? This pic/story is just too ripe.

  34. Posted by ShawnMichaels | April 11, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    At least half the guys on here would be happily in line for the shots and cream… I would…

    although I still can’t figure how anyone sane would invest a dime with this woman… is Patriarch a laundering front, scam, worse?

  35. Posted by I'm a man, hear me roar | April 11, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    Ny Mag: Can you describe your experience at MP?

    Current Employee (who wants to leave, but has chosen to stay): It’s like torture. You can’t imagine what it feels like to have the boss graze her pierced nipples across the back of your neck as she stands over your shoulder looking at your new valuation model. You have no idea what it is to know that your inferior colleague was promoted because he deemed to have a superior “package” based on some supposed “Mid-section Appraisal Methodology.” It hurts.

  36. Posted by WouldNOT | April 11, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    You don’t know shit about anyone on here but yourself.

  37. Posted by A. Sterling | April 11, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    Oh and that makes it better?

  38. Posted by Guest | April 11, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Too soon…

  39. Posted by El-Greco | April 11, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    pussy.

  40. Posted by Guest | April 12, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    I’m trying to cut sugar out of my diet

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