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Lynn Tilton’s Unique Take On Trust Falls May Cause Side Effects

You’re asked to take part in one team building exercise involving licking whipped cream off the boss’s breasts and all of a sudden you can’t have sex for months.

“It’s a form of control and humiliation,” says another employee, adding that the experience of working for Tilton was so emasculating that it took him months after leaving the firm to have sex again. This employee also says that Tilton perceives all of her male employees as being in love with her. Which is perhaps the reason that, holding court in a conference room during her 50th- birthday party, Tilton offered her male employees a choice: They could take a Jell-O shot off her stomach or lick whipped cream off her breasts. “The crazy part was, she saw it as morale building,” says one person present. “People were hiding in the bathroom.”

What Does It Take For A Female Tycoon To Get Noticed Around Here? [NYM]

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81 Responses to “Lynn Tilton’s Unique Take On Trust Falls May Cause Side Effects”

  1. Indeed says:

    At least there was no option involving cottage cheese behind her thighs.

  2. In The Now says:

    Didn’t the GoDaddy CEO shoot one of those once?

  3. SECAttorney says:

    Lynn is awesome. She did a 15-min live show for me on ladyboyjuice-dt-com before I was reprimanded.

    -SEC Attorney

  4. LynnTiTlon says:

    Nothing says employee loyalty like ATM in the conference room.
    XOXO
    ~Lynn

  5. Guest says:

    She used the morale line on me too. Right before she put me in the box.
    The Gimp

  6. Supraman says:

    Sounds like Lynn and Ping attended the same management course. Perhaps they could join forces. “Patriarch Ping Partners” has a nice ring to it.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Emasculated Intern: Um, Ms. Tilton, ma’am? What was it you wanted me to get you for lunch?

    LT: The same thing I have every day sugardick: one tossed salad

    EI: Oh, ok. What kind of dressing do you want?

    LT: You’re not catching my drift sweetheart…

  8. Dr. Rosenrose says:

    NY Mag did her no favors using the pics of her on that Queen Anne after she obviously crushed the middle of it.

  9. Guest says:

    Option three involved a strategically placed maraschino cherry (stem-side out).

    -Guy who was so emasculated by Tilton he left to found Matriarch Partners

  10. Spanishmoon says:

    You mean you didn’t have the option of a Jello shot AND the cream licking?

  11. Guest says:

    I never thought of hiding in the washroom during team building. Thanks, Patriarchers!

  12. Guest says:

    Lights off, silicone filled jello shots, scream mask on her, life size cutout of Tilton staring at me, my eyes gouged out, gag ball in my mouth, tears falling down my face, while handcuffed to the gimp from Pulp Fiction.

  13. PasteSpecialFormats says:

    I’m hiding in the bathroom right now…with my phone open to the above picture…while shamefully masturbating

  14. Covey 01 says:

    Come on, who would be desperate to tap that ass? More than a mouthfull is a waste anyway.

  15. Guest says:

    Crybabies. Let me tell you something about being emasculated…

    – Andrew Tong

  16. anon says:

    Add soya sauce and wasabi, the fishy taste will go away….

    Fukushima survivor

  17. Guy Who Checks Stuff says:

    The Ansaldi people DO have 3 balls in their logo thanks to LT!

    http://www.asiansaldo.com/english/index.php

  18. Bac Koffice says:

    I could see this being an issue if Raj used these morale building techniques.

    “Raj offered his male employees a choice: They could take a Jell-O shot off his stomach or lick whipped cream off his breasts.”

  19. PDDivision says:

    C’mon guys, don’be such stiffs. She was just trying to do the Katy Perry whipped cream can thing from the California Girls clip, that’s all.

    -Patriarch Dairy Division

  20. The Penseur says:

    Trying to imagine Steinhardt having a conversation with her at Taco Bell on their first date.

    • PasteSpecialFormats says:

      You mean at Taco Bell where they met, right? I heard this broad is a sucker for critter ties and the #6 with beef gorditas.

  21. streethockey says:

    funny, this is what Lenny D offered the folks at CNBC for an interview.

  22. Gozer says:

    snookie’s mom needs to cut back on the sweet pickles

  23. AnAdmirerOfHisWork says:

    Oh, RECEIPT GUY, where art thou? This pic/story is just too ripe.

  24. ShawnMichaels says:

    At least half the guys on here would be happily in line for the shots and cream… I would…

    although I still can’t figure how anyone sane would invest a dime with this woman… is Patriarch a laundering front, scam, worse?

  25. I'm a man, hear me roar says:

    Ny Mag: Can you describe your experience at MP?

    Current Employee (who wants to leave, but has chosen to stay): It’s like torture. You can’t imagine what it feels like to have the boss graze her pierced nipples across the back of your neck as she stands over your shoulder looking at your new valuation model. You have no idea what it is to know that your inferior colleague was promoted because he deemed to have a superior “package” based on some supposed “Mid-section Appraisal Methodology.” It hurts.

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