The latest issue of New York contains a lengthy profile of Paul Kruman entitled “What’s Left of the Left: Paul Krugman’s Lonely crusade.” Writer Benjamin Wallace-Wells examines the Nobel Prize-winning economist’s position as “the leading exponent of a kind of liberal purism” (played out in his column for the Times and his blog, The Conscience of a Liberal); few peers or policymakers wholly agree with Krugman’s stance, making him a very “lonely” man (save for his commenters). And it’s not just in his professional life that Krugs lacks pals, Wallace-Wells tells us, but, heartbreakingly, in his personal life as well.

Paul Krugman is a lonely man. That he is comfortable in his solitude, that he emphasizes its virtues, that his intelligence gives it a poetic gloss, none of this diminishes the poignancy of his isolation. Krugman grew up an only child and is deeply self-conscious. He will list his shortcomings as though he’d been preparing for the chance: “Loner. Ordinarily shy. Shy with individuals.” He is married but has no children nor—rare for a Nobelist—many protégés. When I asked him if there were any friends of his I could talk to in order to understand him better, he hesitated, then said, “That’s going to be hard.”

Regardless of how you feel about P.Krugs’ politics, you cannot be a human and not want to give Kruggles a hug as well as a hand. We need to find him some friends and fast. Before you start coming up with ideas, make sure none of them are the following, who we’ve already deemed out:

- Andrew Sorkin, on account of last year’s awkward tiff around the office

- Robert Reich, who is probably not taking PK’s calls (Krugman wrote: “talented writer, too bad he never gets anything right.” )

- Projectors (Krugman had prepared slides, but after a sustained five-minute assault on the projection technology, he gave up. “Never mind,” he said, abandoning the projection screen. “I can just sketch it on the board myself.”)

- Larry Summers, who’s sick of his negativity (“Paul hasn’t liked any president or any Treasury secretary,” Summers continues. “He always gravitates to opposition and dramatic policy because it’s much more interesting than agreement when you’re involved in commenting on rather than making policy. He savaged the early Clinton administration from the right, blistering Laura Tyson and Bob Reich, and then moved to savage the more liberal Obama administration from the left. He liked the Bush administration least of all. The only politician I remember him praising in the last sixteen years is John Edwards.”)

- Art Laffer

- Anyone from the University of Chicago, as he hates “freshwater” economists

- The governor of Wisconsin (you know why)

- Dogs (man’s best friend Paul Krugman’s ass)

- Kate Middleton, who knows what she did (No one else on the planet should ever be allowed to wear Diana’s ring.)

Excluding the above, let’s hear what you got.

Comments (23)

  1. Posted by Guest | April 25, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Britney. LiLo. Possibly some random Kardishian but not Paris.

    Maybe a season on Dancing With The Stars or be a guest judge on Idol.

  2. Posted by Wahoo | April 25, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    ShamWow Guy evidently renegged on their friendship after Krugman bit his tounge during an ill fated make out sesh.

    - Shlomi the Salami.

  3. Posted by Guest | April 25, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    wow.

  4. Posted by DonDeFore | April 25, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    Paul Krugman is a shitheel.

  5. Posted by Anonymous | April 25, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    Paur, I know how you feer. I so ronery too. So ronery and sadry arone.

    - Kim Jon Il

  6. Posted by Guest | April 25, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    you can count yourself out of the running.

  7. Posted by Lynn's #1434 fan | April 25, 2011 at 6:48 PM

    One night with Lynn Tilton will either kill him, or cure him.

    47 of her male employees who know

  8. Posted by Homosaurus | April 25, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    haters gonna hate…

  9. Posted by Jamal | April 25, 2011 at 6:50 PM

    There’s no mayor of Wisconsin…it’s a state.

  10. Posted by JBEV | April 25, 2011 at 6:59 PM

    who is ‘The mayor of Wisconsin’???

  11. Posted by CharlesG | April 25, 2011 at 6:59 PM

    Paul Krugman is a friend of mine?

  12. Posted by MikeF1024 | April 25, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    I think got mixed up in your intricate grammar. You obviously meant to say that “you can’t be human and want to give Paul Krugman a hug.”

  13. Posted by Cheesehead | April 25, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    Must be some 4sq marketing gimmick

  14. Posted by Mercury | April 25, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    Having recently been unceremoniously dumped by R2D2 Jennifer Aniston is kind of in the same boat…so, I don’t know…there must be someone who is friendly with both liberal economists and Hollywood types that can help set up at least a pen pal relationship.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | April 25, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    That was a test.

  16. Posted by JBEV | April 25, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    haha – awesome

  17. Posted by Jamal | April 25, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Posted by VonSloneker | April 25, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    Ben Stein has gone off reservation lately and would make great company for El Gran Krugador. Alternatively, Roger Scruton…Krugster might learn something.

  19. Posted by spanishmoon | April 25, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    Fidel and Raul Castro and Hugo Chavez need a fourth for dominoes…..free cigars…

  20. Posted by Eliesucks | April 26, 2011 at 12:21 AM

    Krugman sucks.

  21. Posted by Andrew Ross | April 26, 2011 at 12:37 AM

    He should call that chick that Spitzer bangs. She won’t kiss and tell Paul.

    Actually I picture him hanging with PeeWee Herman

  22. Posted by Christofurio | April 26, 2011 at 1:03 AM

    “The only politician I remember him praising in the last sixteen years is John Edwards.”

    There’s your answer! Edwards, recently a widower. None of his men friends like him any more because he used to make them draw straws to decide who would take the blame for his videographer’s baby bump.

    None of his women friends like him anymore because … well, just because.

    Rielle has probably gotten a restraining order against him by now.

    A bromance between the Krugstar and Johnny Edwards would be … EPIC.

  23. Posted by Ljonesa | April 30, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    Krugman makes sense to me. As for negativity, what about Bess Levin?

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