As we have previously discussed, the renaming of the NYSE, post Deutsche Börse merger, is a delicate dance in which lots of people must be made happy. Though the Germans will own 60 percent of the company, many in New York are preemptively apoplectic over the notion of DB getting top billing. Chuck Schumer, for instance, has stated that he will handcuff himself to Maria Bartiromo’s desk in the event his town doesn’t come first (a threat NYSE chief exec Duncan Niederauer took seriously, by stating “DB NYSE” will not be an option). What to do? Hire a special task force and give everyone who wants it an opportunity to put in his/her two cents.

According to the Journal “a group of branding specialists” will recommend names and in addition, the exchanges “will appoint a committee of marketing and legal specialists to sift through more than 1,000 suggested names submitted by employees of both companies.” So far raised: NYSE-DB (but Deutsche Bank might take issue), Global Exchange (though a human rights group already called dibs), überMX (submitted by Alex Frankel, author of “Wordcraft: The Art of Turning Little Words into Big Business”), Cherubs Denote Yeses (an anagram of Deutsche Börse NYSE), and Thunderbird (which Dean Crutchfield likes because eagles are important to both the US and Germany though he may also have a thing for low-end fortified wine.

If you think you could do better, have at it.

The ABC’s Of Renaming The NYSE [NYSE]

77 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (77)

  1. Posted by Adam Feldstein | April 5, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    Beamers Downtown

  2. Posted by Speed Kills | April 5, 2011 at 5:11 PM

    An easy rename: The Schadenfreude Exchange

    Porsche there is no Wunderbar

  3. Posted by Speed Kills | April 5, 2011 at 5:11 PM

    An easy rename: The Schadenfreude Exchange

    Porsche there is no Wunderbar

  4. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    They should include Schumer in the name, register the company in Europe:

    New York Stock / EuroNext Schumer International, SA Deutsche Borse

    short form NYSENSCHUMERISADB

  5. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    The Hindenburg

  6. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    Reichsparteitagsgelände

  7. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 5:15 PM

    & Son’s

  8. Posted by guest | April 5, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    NYSE Euronazi

  9. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | April 5, 2011 at 5:30 PM

    Schumer’s Wild German Rose

  10. Posted by I'm Jewish so it's okay | April 5, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Guwurtztraheimer. You get the German, You get the Jewish, You get it all!!

  11. Posted by I'm Jewish so it's okay | April 5, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Guwurtztraheimer. You get the German, You get the Jewish, You get it all!!

  12. Posted by Richard Cripples | April 5, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Boerse Macht Scheiße

  13. Posted by Richard Cripples | April 5, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Boerse Macht Scheiße

  14. Posted by Chief Goldenfinger | April 5, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Harrah’s Lower Manhattan

  15. Posted by Chief Goldenfinger | April 5, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Harrah’s Lower Manhattan

  16. Posted by Jeffrey Spreecher | April 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  17. Posted by Jeffrey Spreecher | April 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  18. Posted by Jeffrey Spreecher | April 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  19. Posted by Jeffrey Spreecher | April 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  20. Posted by Jeffrey Spreecher | April 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  21. Posted by Napolean D | April 5, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    I wold go with Liger. It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic

  22. Posted by Jamie Jude | April 5, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Schumber: NYSE a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
    Niederauer:HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR MONEY!

  23. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    Klemme Schumer’s Börse von New York

    – Soon to be Nasdaq so waste of time/money

  24. Posted by Demographic | April 5, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    NYStraßeE

  25. Posted by annagranimal | April 5, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    How about “Short-Eyedness Cubed”?

  26. Posted by Clueless | April 5, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    Wait, Bess, how did you finagle Dealbreaker into the NYSE’s new name? well played….

  27. Posted by Former LEH quant | April 5, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    This is the thanks we get for bailing them out in WWII?!

  28. Posted by Former LEH quant | April 5, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    This is the thanks we get for bailing them out in WWII?!

  29. Posted by Savage Manatee | April 5, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    The Exchange.

  30. Posted by GuestyMcGuestersen | April 5, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    What’s the word? Thunderbird. What’s the price? A dollar twice. What’s the action? Satisfaction.

  31. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    no, dat vas ven ve bought dein scheisse auto Chrysler und took it on ze chin fur dich

    -Dr Z

  32. Posted by Anonymous | April 5, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Das Finanzmuseum.

  33. Posted by Tina Turner | April 5, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    Thunderdome

  34. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    Das MostExpensiveTVStudioEver?

  35. Posted by A4096190 | April 5, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    unerheblich

  36. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 6:17 PM

    Douche Bourse

  37. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    Colt 45

  38. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    Colt 45

  39. Posted by Chuddy | April 5, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    they call me thunder thighs

    Maria

  40. Posted by DIFGTBAB | April 5, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    They should name it something incredibly German just to see Kudlows face when he has to say hes reporting from it.

  41. Posted by Anonymous | April 5, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen

  42. Posted by Milksteak | April 5, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    I think “The Terrordome” would be more appropriate. The new name would be a good excuse to release thousands of poisonous snakes into the exchange to torment the remaining floor specialists. Might cut down on productivity, or (more likely scenario) the employees will adopt jungle commando attire, speak like Samuel Jackson and form little fiefdoms that engage in guerilla warfare.

    I know the snakes don’t fit into the scenario above at all, but would still be a sweet addition.

  43. Posted by Sleeper | April 5, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    Saw ‘handcuffs’ and “Maria Bartiromo’ and figured this would go in a different direction. Damn you.

    -Todd Thomson

  44. Posted by Ken Lewis | April 5, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Kehlsteinhaus

  45. Posted by Lewis Winthorpe III | April 5, 2011 at 6:44 PM

    DAS KLÜB

  46. Posted by JBEV | April 5, 2011 at 6:45 PM

    Equities in NotDallas

  47. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    Deutsche Bundesbank

  48. Posted by Archer's Drinking Arm | April 5, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    You have an ocelot?! A freaking ocelot!!!

  49. Posted by Archer's Drinking Arm | April 5, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    You have an ocelot?! A freaking ocelot!!!

  50. Posted by danker banker | April 5, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    I thought Tunderbird was a low-end fortified MBA program

  51. Posted by Der Busens | April 5, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    “Vienerschleider”

  52. Posted by Former Banker | April 5, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    “Lesbian Vampire Killers”

  53. Posted by Tina Turner | April 5, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    There are no snakes in Bartertown!!

  54. Posted by Anonymous | April 5, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    How about Equities Verantwortungszuständigkeiten?

    Verantwortung: responsibility & Zuständigkeiten: jurisdiction = area of responsibility

  55. Posted by Gast | April 5, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    Schnitzengiggle

  56. Posted by Chinggis Khan | April 5, 2011 at 7:25 PM

    NYSSE

  57. Posted by Spanishmoon | April 5, 2011 at 7:26 PM

    Bitburg West

  58. Posted by Robnyc203 | April 5, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    “What’s the word? Thunderbird! / What’s the price? Fifty twice! / What’s the reason? Grapes are in season! / Who drinks the most? Them c folks! / What’s the reaction?/ Satisfaction!”
    My uncle likes to repeat this when he gets hammered. Hysterical.

  59. Posted by UberRace | April 5, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    Schparklingwiggle?

  60. Posted by Kenny Langone | April 5, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    AuschwitzHaus

  61. Posted by Irish Eddie | April 5, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    ShitHaus

  62. Posted by Anonymous | April 5, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    The Final Solution This Time I Mean It Exchange

  63. Posted by Just Sayin | April 5, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Floggenhousen

  64. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Drop the “The”.

    -Z

  65. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    Big props to many posts.

    – Guy audibly giggling in men’s room stall

    *embarrassing*

  66. Posted by Anonymous | April 5, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    OKW

  67. Posted by Gentleman Trader | April 5, 2011 at 9:07 PM

    are there any sparkling wiggles at the party?

  68. Posted by Anonymous | April 5, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    Int’l House of Dooshe, and if taken,

    Fuhrer Hasselhoff’s Fun House of Algorithms

  69. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    No, no its not

  70. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    Auschstocks

  71. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    Auschstocks

  72. Posted by Guest | April 5, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    Auschstocks

  73. Posted by Tuckhead | April 6, 2011 at 3:30 AM

    went to b-school with Duncan, nice dude

    W – Extra Douche Residences

  74. Posted by Fubrian115 | April 6, 2011 at 4:31 AM

    The only reason DB NYSE is out is because that’s what is has been called for the last 10 years.

  75. Posted by Das Fool | April 6, 2011 at 6:37 AM

    Das Almost Extinct Vunderbar mit Das silly TVStudio

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