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Should The New York Stock Exchange Be Renamed ‘Thunderbird’?

As we have previously discussed, the renaming of the NYSE, post Deutsche Börse merger, is a delicate dance in which lots of people must be made happy. Though the Germans will own 60 percent of the company, many in New York are preemptively apoplectic over the notion of DB getting top billing. Chuck Schumer, for instance, has stated that he will handcuff himself to Maria Bartiromo’s desk in the event his town doesn’t come first (a threat NYSE chief exec Duncan Niederauer took seriously, by stating “DB NYSE” will not be an option). What to do? Hire a special task force and give everyone who wants it an opportunity to put in his/her two cents.

According to the Journal “a group of branding specialists” will recommend names and in addition, the exchanges “will appoint a committee of marketing and legal specialists to sift through more than 1,000 suggested names submitted by employees of both companies.” So far raised: NYSE-DB (but Deutsche Bank might take issue), Global Exchange (though a human rights group already called dibs), überMX (submitted by Alex Frankel, author of “Wordcraft: The Art of Turning Little Words into Big Business”), Cherubs Denote Yeses (an anagram of Deutsche Börse NYSE), and Thunderbird (which Dean Crutchfield likes because eagles are important to both the US and Germany though he may also have a thing for low-end fortified wine.

If you think you could do better, have at it.

The ABC’s Of Renaming The NYSE [NYSE]

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77 Responses to “Should The New York Stock Exchange Be Renamed ‘Thunderbird’?”

  1. Adam Feldstein says:

    Beamers Downtown

  2. Speed Kills says:

    An easy rename: The Schadenfreude Exchange

    Porsche there is no Wunderbar

  3. Speed Kills says:

    An easy rename: The Schadenfreude Exchange

    Porsche there is no Wunderbar

  4. Guest says:

    They should include Schumer in the name, register the company in Europe:

    New York Stock / EuroNext Schumer International, SA Deutsche Borse

    short form NYSENSCHUMERISADB

  5. Guest says:

    The Hindenburg

  6. Guest says:

    Reichsparteitagsgelände

  7. guest says:

    NYSE Euronazi

  8. PasteSpecialFormats says:

    Schumer’s Wild German Rose

  9. I'm Jewish so it's okay says:

    Guwurtztraheimer. You get the German, You get the Jewish, You get it all!!

  10. I'm Jewish so it's okay says:

    Guwurtztraheimer. You get the German, You get the Jewish, You get it all!!

  11. Richard Cripples says:

    Boerse Macht Scheiße

  12. Richard Cripples says:

    Boerse Macht Scheiße

  13. Chief Goldenfinger says:

    Harrah’s Lower Manhattan

  14. Chief Goldenfinger says:

    Harrah’s Lower Manhattan

  15. Jeffrey Spreecher says:

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  16. Jeffrey Spreecher says:

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  17. Jeffrey Spreecher says:

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  18. Jeffrey Spreecher says:

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  19. Jeffrey Spreecher says:

    What is the German word for “irrelevant”?

  20. Napolean D says:

    I wold go with Liger. It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic

  21. Jamie Jude says:

    Schumber: NYSE a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
    Niederauer:HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR MONEY!

  22. Guest says:

    Klemme Schumer’s Börse von New York

    – Soon to be Nasdaq so waste of time/money

  23. Demographic says:

    NYStraßeE

  24. annagranimal says:

    How about “Short-Eyedness Cubed”?

  25. Clueless says:

    Wait, Bess, how did you finagle Dealbreaker into the NYSE’s new name? well played….

  26. Former LEH quant says:

    This is the thanks we get for bailing them out in WWII?!

  27. Former LEH quant says:

    This is the thanks we get for bailing them out in WWII?!

    • Guest says:

      no, dat vas ven ve bought dein scheisse auto Chrysler und took it on ze chin fur dich

      -Dr Z

  28. Savage Manatee says:

    The Exchange.

  29. GuestyMcGuestersen says:

    What’s the word? Thunderbird. What’s the price? A dollar twice. What’s the action? Satisfaction.

    • Robnyc203 says:

      “What’s the word? Thunderbird! / What’s the price? Fifty twice! / What’s the reason? Grapes are in season! / Who drinks the most? Them c folks! / What’s the reaction?/ Satisfaction!”
      My uncle likes to repeat this when he gets hammered. Hysterical.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Das Finanzmuseum.

  31. Tina Turner says:

    Thunderdome

    • Milksteak says:

      I think “The Terrordome” would be more appropriate. The new name would be a good excuse to release thousands of poisonous snakes into the exchange to torment the remaining floor specialists. Might cut down on productivity, or (more likely scenario) the employees will adopt jungle commando attire, speak like Samuel Jackson and form little fiefdoms that engage in guerilla warfare.

      I know the snakes don’t fit into the scenario above at all, but would still be a sweet addition.

  32. Guest says:

    Douche Bourse

  33. Guest says:

    Colt 45

  34. Guest says:

    Colt 45

  35. Chuddy says:

    they call me thunder thighs

    Maria

  36. DIFGTBAB says:

    They should name it something incredibly German just to see Kudlows face when he has to say hes reporting from it.

    • Anonymous says:

      How about Equities Verantwortungszuständigkeiten?

      Verantwortung: responsibility & Zuständigkeiten: jurisdiction = area of responsibility

  37. Anonymous says:

    Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen

  38. Sleeper says:

    Saw ‘handcuffs’ and “Maria Bartiromo’ and figured this would go in a different direction. Damn you.

    -Todd Thomson

  39. Ken Lewis says:

    Kehlsteinhaus

  40. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    DAS KLÜB

  41. JBEV says:

    Equities in NotDallas

  42. Archer's Drinking Arm says:

    You have an ocelot?! A freaking ocelot!!!

  43. Archer's Drinking Arm says:

    You have an ocelot?! A freaking ocelot!!!

  44. danker banker says:

    I thought Tunderbird was a low-end fortified MBA program

  45. Der Busens says:

    “Vienerschleider”

  46. Former Banker says:

    “Lesbian Vampire Killers”

  47. Gast says:

    Schnitzengiggle

  48. Chinggis Khan says:

    NYSSE

  49. Spanishmoon says:

    Bitburg West

  50. Kenny Langone says:

    AuschwitzHaus

  51. Irish Eddie says:

    ShitHaus

  52. Anonymous says:

    The Final Solution This Time I Mean It Exchange

  53. Just Sayin says:

    Floggenhousen

  54. Guest says:

    Big props to many posts.

    – Guy audibly giggling in men’s room stall

    *embarrassing*

  55. Anonymous says:

    OKW

  56. Anonymous says:

    Int’l House of Dooshe, and if taken,

    Fuhrer Hasselhoff’s Fun House of Algorithms

  57. Tuckhead says:

    went to b-school with Duncan, nice dude

    W – Extra Douche Residences

  58. Fubrian115 says:

    The only reason DB NYSE is out is because that’s what is has been called for the last 10 years.

  59. Das Fool says:

    Das Almost Extinct Vunderbar mit Das silly TVStudio

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