As we have previously discussed, the renaming of the NYSE, post Deutsche Börse merger, is a delicate dance in which lots of people must be made happy. Though the Germans will own 60 percent of the company, many in New York are preemptively apoplectic over the notion of DB getting top billing. Chuck Schumer, for instance, has stated that he will handcuff himself to Maria Bartiromo’s desk in the event his town doesn’t come first (a threat NYSE chief exec Duncan Niederauer took seriously, by stating “DB NYSE” will not be an option). What to do? Hire a special task force and give everyone who wants it an opportunity to put in his/her two cents.
According to the Journal “a group of branding specialists” will recommend names and in addition, the exchanges “will appoint a committee of marketing and legal specialists to sift through more than 1,000 suggested names submitted by employees of both companies.” So far raised: NYSE-DB (but Deutsche Bank might take issue), Global Exchange (though a human rights group already called dibs), überMX (submitted by Alex Frankel, author of “Wordcraft: The Art of Turning Little Words into Big Business”), Cherubs Denote Yeses (an anagram of Deutsche Börse NYSE), and Thunderbird (which Dean Crutchfield likes because eagles are important to both the US and Germany though he may also have a thing for low-end fortified wine.
If you think you could do better, have at it.
Beamers Downtown
An easy rename: The Schadenfreude Exchange
Porsche there is no Wunderbar
An easy rename: The Schadenfreude Exchange
Porsche there is no Wunderbar
They should include Schumer in the name, register the company in Europe:
New York Stock / EuroNext Schumer International, SA Deutsche Borse
short form NYSENSCHUMERISADB
The Hindenburg
Reichsparteitagsgelände
& Son’s
NYSE Euronazi
Schumer’s Wild German Rose
Guwurtztraheimer. You get the German, You get the Jewish, You get it all!!
Guwurtztraheimer. You get the German, You get the Jewish, You get it all!!
Boerse Macht Scheiße
Boerse Macht Scheiße
Harrah’s Lower Manhattan
Harrah’s Lower Manhattan
What is the German word for “irrelevant”?
What is the German word for “irrelevant”?
What is the German word for “irrelevant”?
What is the German word for “irrelevant”?
What is the German word for “irrelevant”?
I wold go with Liger. It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic
Schumber: NYSE a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
Niederauer:HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR MONEY!
Klemme Schumer’s Börse von New York
- Soon to be Nasdaq so waste of time/money
NYStraßeE
How about “Short-Eyedness Cubed”?
Wait, Bess, how did you finagle Dealbreaker into the NYSE’s new name? well played….
This is the thanks we get for bailing them out in WWII?!
This is the thanks we get for bailing them out in WWII?!
The Exchange.
What’s the word? Thunderbird. What’s the price? A dollar twice. What’s the action? Satisfaction.
no, dat vas ven ve bought dein scheisse auto Chrysler und took it on ze chin fur dich
-Dr Z
Das Finanzmuseum.
Thunderdome
Das MostExpensiveTVStudioEver?
unerheblich
Douche Bourse
Colt 45
Colt 45
they call me thunder thighs
Maria
They should name it something incredibly German just to see Kudlows face when he has to say hes reporting from it.
Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen
I think “The Terrordome” would be more appropriate. The new name would be a good excuse to release thousands of poisonous snakes into the exchange to torment the remaining floor specialists. Might cut down on productivity, or (more likely scenario) the employees will adopt jungle commando attire, speak like Samuel Jackson and form little fiefdoms that engage in guerilla warfare.
I know the snakes don’t fit into the scenario above at all, but would still be a sweet addition.
Saw ‘handcuffs’ and “Maria Bartiromo’ and figured this would go in a different direction. Damn you.
-Todd Thomson
Kehlsteinhaus
DAS KLÜB
Equities in NotDallas
Deutsche Bundesbank
You have an ocelot?! A freaking ocelot!!!
You have an ocelot?! A freaking ocelot!!!
I thought Tunderbird was a low-end fortified MBA program
“Vienerschleider”
“Lesbian Vampire Killers”
There are no snakes in Bartertown!!
How about Equities Verantwortungszuständigkeiten?
Verantwortung: responsibility & Zuständigkeiten: jurisdiction = area of responsibility
Schnitzengiggle
NYSSE
Bitburg West
“What’s the word? Thunderbird! / What’s the price? Fifty twice! / What’s the reason? Grapes are in season! / Who drinks the most? Them c folks! / What’s the reaction?/ Satisfaction!”
My uncle likes to repeat this when he gets hammered. Hysterical.
Schparklingwiggle?
AuschwitzHaus
ShitHaus
The Final Solution This Time I Mean It Exchange
Floggenhousen
Drop the “The”.
-Z
Big props to many posts.
- Guy audibly giggling in men’s room stall
*embarrassing*
OKW
are there any sparkling wiggles at the party?
Int’l House of Dooshe, and if taken,
Fuhrer Hasselhoff’s Fun House of Algorithms
No, no its not
Auschstocks
Auschstocks
Auschstocks
went to b-school with Duncan, nice dude
W – Extra Douche Residences
The only reason DB NYSE is out is because that’s what is has been called for the last 10 years.
Das Almost Extinct Vunderbar mit Das silly TVStudio
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