Almost exactly a year ago, if you happened to be walking down East 67th Street toward Fifth Avenue, you probably stopped to peer through the window of a certain $49 million townhouse. Specifically the one belonging to Phil Falcone. There, a piano playing pig name Wilbur was pulling out all the stops (“Memory” from Cats, his infamous Bette Midler), in celebration of his boss making AR Magazine‘s annual list of the 25 highest paid managers, having taken home $825 million in 2009. The good spirits and the gin were running high that night and the party didn’t stop ’til the early hours of the morning. This year, things will be different. The lights will be dimmed and Wilbur will be in his room, digging out the cocktail napkin with the number of the hedge fund manager he’d met last summer in Connecticut. He told himself he wasn’t going to do anything with it but…things have changed.

This year, Phil didn’t even crack the top 25, let alone the top ten. Here are the guys whose paychecks ranked them among the best in 2009, and whose 2010 comp may mean household staff looking for greener pastures in the coming weeks:

* John Arnold (Centaurus Energy)
* Phil Falcone (Harbinger Capital Partners)
* Andreas Halvorsen (Viking Capital)
* Alan Howard (Brevan Howard)
* O. Francis Biondi Jr./Brian J. Higgins (King Street Capital)

Comments (116)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | April 1, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    Will there be bacon?

  2. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    “This year, things will be different. The lights will be dimmed and Wilbur will be in his room, digging out the cocktail napkin with the number of the hedge fund manager he’d met last summer in Connecticut. He told himself he wasn’t going to do anything with it but…things have changed.”

    amazing.

  3. Posted by Bacon | April 1, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    There will be bacon. Great movie.

  4. Posted by Bacon | April 1, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    There will be bacon. Great movie.

  5. Posted by Bacon | April 1, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    How the fuck did I manage a double post!

  6. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    I don’t know how she comes up with this shit.

  7. Posted by LP | April 1, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    Lights on, pig watching, Wilbur playing the piano, me reading the cocktail napkin while wearing a monogramed shirt.

  8. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    By borrowing Charlie Sheen’s brain #wizardcuffs

  9. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    By borrowing Charlie Sheen’s brain #wizardcuffs

  10. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    By borrowing Charlie Sheen’s brain #wizardcuffs

  11. Posted by CT | April 1, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    except that the above is witty, clever, and laugh out loud funny. so, no.

  12. Posted by CT | April 1, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    except that the above is witty, clever, and laugh out loud funny. so, no.

  13. Posted by CT | April 1, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    except that the above is witty, clever, and laugh out loud funny. so, no.

  14. Posted by Bacon | April 1, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    How the fuck did I manage a double post!

  15. Posted by THUNDER TUNA | April 1, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    Spider Pig > Wilbur > Ken Griffin

  16. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    sarcasm. lost. you. on.

  17. Posted by Homosaurus | April 1, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    >Ken Griffin’s Mexican wife.

  18. Posted by Heywood | April 1, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    U mad, bro?

  19. Posted by Diesel7 | April 1, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    Agreed, Bess is amazing.

    Nothing good can come out of these lists, the liberals will be up in arms.

  20. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    I never knew Phil had two left hands. And why isn’t it on that chicks hot ass?
    Lisa

  21. Posted by Bacon | April 1, 2011 at 5:50 PM

    How the fuck did I manage a double post?

  22. Posted by THUNDER TUNA | April 1, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    Bacon, please eat yourself to death.

  23. Posted by Fetal Pig Tartare | April 1, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    Hey guys ;-)

  24. Posted by Bacon | April 1, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    How the fuck did I manage a triple post!

  25. Posted by C. Gasparino | April 1, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    Hey Wilbur, if you’re looking to start a band, I’m an accomplished skin flute player.

  26. Posted by C. Gasparino | April 1, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    Hey Wilbur, if you’re looking to start a band, I’m an accomplished skin flute player.

  27. Posted by ThickCandyShell | April 1, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    > CFA > MBA > UBS.

  28. Posted by ThickCandyShell | April 1, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    > CFA > MBA > UBS.

  29. Posted by ThickCandyShell | April 1, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    > CFA > MBA > UBS.

  30. Posted by ThickCandyShell | April 1, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    > CFA > MBA > UBS.

  31. Posted by Anonymous | April 1, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    Echo… echo… echo…

  32. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    I lol’d

  33. Posted by THUNDER TUNA | April 1, 2011 at 6:23 PM

    How the fuck did I manage a double post?

  34. Posted by Where's Waldo | April 1, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    Is this a new DB meme?

  35. Posted by Where's Waldo | April 1, 2011 at 6:28 PM

    That’s not the original Bacon.

  36. Posted by Bacon | April 1, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    How the Bacon did I manage to Thunder Tuna!

  37. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    or they won’t give a fuck.

  38. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    except that she’s french, so.

  39. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    except that she’s french, so.

  40. Posted by CoachK | April 1, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    How does Falcone still have investors with that psycho wive of his making so many waves?

  41. Posted by CoachK | April 1, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    How does Falcone still have investors with that psycho wive of his making so many waves?

  42. Posted by CoachK | April 1, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    How does Falcone still have investors with that psycho wive of his making so many waves?

  43. Posted by IRS Agent | April 1, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    Just a reminder Phil, two weeks. Please don’t be late

  44. Posted by Where's Waldo? | April 1, 2011 at 7:25 PM

    Is this a new DB meme?

  45. Posted by Whirthington Worthington III | April 1, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    Shirt must be monogramed

  46. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    Is it Candian Bacon or Turkey Bacon?

  47. Posted by Guest | April 1, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    In the corner by himself, Wilbur watched as Phil flipped pucks with an old hockey stick into a wastepaper basket tipped on its side. Every time a puck went in the basket, Phil raised his hands into the air and strutted around the room, making crowd noises and pumping his fist. In another room Lisa Marie was singing something in Spanish. He could see her when she danced in front of the door with her iPod. She was dressed in something resembling an outfit he saw on Toddlers & Tiaras the other night. For the first time in his porcine life, Wilbur felt uneasy.

  48. Posted by SRH | April 1, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    “hey it’s wilbur we met at that wedding in Westport last summer” tag ftw

  49. Posted by White bread or crack | April 1, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    What is it with hedgies? They either marry the pole dancer or the Darien soul-sucker…

    Is there nothing in between?

  50. Posted by AIG Thermal Coal Quant | April 2, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Maybe because he’s worried his hands will burn?????

    -AIG Thermal Coal Group Quant

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    Hey!!

    -Lou Pai
    14 Thousand Footer, CO

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    VV whale?

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