The last several years have not been the greatest in the life and times of Jim Cramer-endorsed investor Lenny K. Dykstra. The bumps are too numerous to mention in full but include: falling on money troubles so serious that he was no longer able to fly private, having his beloved mansion foreclosed on, leaving the place “pockmarked with torn up flooring, missing toilets and holes in the walls,” filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, living in his car, suing JPMorgan for “predatory lending practices,” dropping his suit against JPMorgan, invoking the ire of a hooker to whom he wrote a bad check, and being indicted on bankruptcy fraud and obstruction of justice charges. The latest setback, which could result in 80 years behind bars for LD, was pretty tough to take, as it will presumably make the timeline for his “comeback” a bit longer (although LD, bless his heart, says that not only is he “back” but that he’s worth hundreds of millions of dollars, at this moment in time). Rather than wallow in sadness, however, we decided to pull ourselves (and yourselves and LD) out of this emotional hole by celebrating the life of Nails. In portrait form.
The following is the latest by Geoffrey Raymond, Wall Street’s painter in-residence, who’s done everyone from Maria Bartiromo, to Lloyd Blankfein, to Hank Paulson, to Dick Fuld.
A cross between Dykstra and Edward Scissorhands, it’s probably the most eerily beautiful thing you’ve seen today, unless you started the morning staring at a body that’s been dead for two days. But it’s not finished without your help. Raymond has requested that DealBreaker readers submit any words about Lenny they’d like to share at this time, which he will add to the canvas.
Afterwards, he’ll be selling prints for $200 and the original for “the best reasonable offer.” While placing it over the mantle where it can scare small children or in the bedroom where it will haunt your dreams, we suggest buying it and selling it for a profit after LD goes to jail or makes his final bow (just as a very wise investor/art collector recently did with his Liz Taylor painting….and perhaps will do again with Dykstra, Nailed).
“What a douche”
B. Madoff
Butner, NC
Hitler with Twizzler
It’s all Cramer’s fault.
Everyone always thinks they’re smarter than me.
- Mr. Market
You should’ve stuck to stealing bases.
UBS Sucks
I wonder if Cramer will get as Verklempt when Dykstra goes away as when Erin Burnett left him.
Your name sucks, Leonard.
“One of the greats.”
In Soviet Russia, Dykstra nails you.
I´ve got an amazing track record, he got nothing.
Bernie “Buster Bernie” Ma
doff
you could never steal, Lenny!!!
If he wants to be a b**ch he is f**king with the wrong ho!
-Angry hooker
dykstra picked off at home by feds
“Garbage Grove makes it Happen”
Generation Zero