Lenny Dykstra Faces Up To 80 Years In Prison For Stealing The Light Fixtures From His Old House

Last month, legendary investor Lenny Dykstra was charged with bankruptcy fraud and obstruction of justice. On Friday, he was indicted by a federal grand jury, which took issue with Nails loading $400,000 worth of stuff from his foreclosed house (purchased from Wayne Gretzky in 2007) into a truck, when it should have gone to creditors, and then proceeding to lie under oath about helping himself to said items.

Dykstra, 48, a former Mets and Phillies outfielder known to his fans by the nickname “Nails,” is accused of stealing, hiding and destroying items such as chandeliers, artwork, sconces and sports memorabilia about himself from his $18-million Ventura County mansion, according to the indictment. He later filed declarations under oath and lied in bankruptcy court about having received money from selling off the items, the indictment alleged. Dykstra’s attorney, Mark Werksman, did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

The good/bad news here, is that Nails actually has a lawyer, apparently deciding not to represent himself, as he’s done in previous cases. If he goes down on all 13 counts, LD could go away for 80 years, which would surely make the hooker whose Christmas he ruined very happy.

Lenny Dykstra indicted on fraud, obstruction of justice charges [LA Times]

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57 Responses to “Lenny Dykstra Faces Up To 80 Years In Prison For Stealing The Light Fixtures From His Old House”

  1. Covey 01 says:

    I guess he got nailed!

  2. Guest says:

    What a maroon!

  3. LEH Quant says:

    WTF?? $C is up 875%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    -LEH Quant

    • Guest says:

      Tough day for all of my 953,432,294,332 call options to finally go in the money…

      — Nails

  4. TooVastTooSpurious says:


  5. Bored Toulene Trader says:

    Dykstra’s traveling show will be called “Dropped Deuce Depth Charges of Truth”

  6. trojan says:

    Lights off, guarding his cornhole, crying on the lower bunk.

  7. Guest says:

    I would be interested in hearing what forms of compensation Mr Werksman is accepting to handle this case.

    -Guy who thinks the “story” behind the story might be interesting

  8. Put_Option says:

    Whatever, I destroy art all the time

    -S. Wynn

  9. Anonymous says:

    Surely he will be remembered for his legitimate accomplishments.

  10. urbanity says:

    Fuck the Phillies and your god-damned licorice.

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