As you more than likely know by now, the (very) recently resigned IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn is awaiting trial for the alleged sexual assault of a Sofitel maid over the weekend. At this time there are of course many unanswered questions, though slowly but surely, various details are coming out helping us to put the puzzle together. Today, for instance, a Newsweek reporter informs us that the maid? Got the raw end of the stick after DSK, apparently in heat, had already been rebuffed by at least one other target.
Dominique Strauss-Kahn allegedly was looking for love, or at least his version of it, from the moment he checked into his hotel in New York City last Friday, May 13. As soon as he got to his suite, 2806, he called back down to the front desk and asked the receptionist if she would like to join him for a drink, according to sources familiar with the prosecution’s case against the former head of the International Monetary Fund and contender for the presidency of France. The receptionist demurred.
Was the receptionist the only one to turn down DSK’s advances? Highly unlikely, as you don’t strike out once and then rape the next body within arm’s reach. In fact, we’re going to posit that Strauss-Kahn spent the week getting the shot down left and right before the maid encounter. Herewith, an accounting of people he (probably) tried and failed to get his freak on with before (allegedly) taking it too far:
* The room service guy
* The bellhop
* The in-hotel masseuse
* The person who monitors the dispensing of towels by the pool
* The guy who gives out Metro by the subway
* The guy who gives out AM New York by the subway
* The Port Authority regulars
* The cocktail waitress at the Olive Garden in Time Square (whose spurning of his advances he did not take well, shouting “I thought that when I’m here I’m family, bitch!” before leaving in a huff)
* The woman at the TKTS window booth
* The cast of Mamma Mia!
* Everyone he contacted from Casual Encounters
* Those people who ask “do you like comedy shows?”
* The hookers at The Point
“you don’t strike out once and then rape the next body in arm’s reach.”
I’ll never forget when my Dad gave me this advice as a young man
The single-serving honey jar.
very funny post. well done
You heard it here first - Bess Levin breaks another bombshell story – DSK swings both ways!
You forgot those guys who sell tour bus rides to the tourists.
He’s a short fat 60 year old man. He probably asked her because he needed help opening the jar of olives.
Just think how much trouble would have been prevented if hotel employees wore color-coded armbands.
He should have stayed at the Harditel.
Surely there must be a way to get the self-promoting Manhattan Madam on this list.
Someone I know has seen this idiot wearing:
a Crazy Hours Franck Muller;
a steel and gold Submariner;
some sort of plastic Swatch
Clearly, this guy is an amateur and would be begging on the street if he was not a yesman and had to compete against other people in a capitalistic fashion
He was very horny! He must be on Viagra.
And of course from the same Daily Beast article there’s this gem…please be gentle now…
“When the police subsequently combed the alleged crime scene for DNA samples, according to sources familiar with the investigation, they were looking specifically for saliva samples from the chambermaid, who said she spit several times as Strauss-Kahn allegedly compelled her to give him oral sex.”
But you know despite all that rejection he didn’t let it affect his self-esteem, so tip of the hat there. Just the other morning when I tried to serially seduce/rape/hump indiscriminately everybody on the train going in, the across-the-board rejection was starting to get to me. By the time I got to work, I was really depressed.
yeah posts like these make me wanna dsk bess
Yeah, but what about all those legitimate years [spent getting laid in a non-rapey fashion]? Nobody ever talks about them…
That big of information has been out since Tuesday but thanks for sharing.
Someone should’ve told him about Taco Bell. Now, it’s a little too late to Make a Run For the Border…
This poor guy got confused, he forgot he was only suppose to rape third-world countries.
Do we know how he was ranked on the maid’s list that morning? Top quartile, at least?
the Olive Garden one, FTMFW!!!
Rapes both ways.
“spurned” his advances no? Not spur – although spurring him might well have been the cause of his agreesiveness…
“spurned” his advances no? Not spur – although spurring him might well have been the cause of his agreesiveness…
if he’d only taken my advice and met her at Minetta’s…
if he’d only taken my advice and met her at Minetta’s…
Probably the last time he calls former governor Arnold for advice on how to meet women.
See http://solari.com/blog/?p=11328 — I suspect it’s all a frame-up: hotel staff entering on a pass key simply does not happen in a five-star hotel.
See http://solari.com/blog/?p=11328 — I suspect it’s all a frame-up: hotel staff entering on a pass key simply does not happen in a five-star hotel.
What an amateur, nobody on CE is legit, should’ve stuck to body rubs
What an amateur, nobody on CE is legit, should’ve stuck to body rubs