“This is really asking for a second opinion.”




How A Charlotte Stripper Got Credit Suisse To Admit To Mortgage Fraud And That “Someone Should Go To Jail For This” [Zero Hedge via BI]
Related: SEC Subpoenas Credit Suisse Over Mortgages, MBIA Says [Bloomberg]

78 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (78)

  1. Posted by Guest | May 6, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    Hope the IRS doesn’t read DB.

  2. Posted by Anonymous | May 6, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    and thus Patriarch Partners was born unto this world

  3. Posted by derp | May 6, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    is Amber Swift the stripper? I think I know her work.

  4. Posted by InfiniteGuest | May 6, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    (* All figures quoted in Bess Bux.)

  5. Posted by Redacted | May 6, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    To: Ronald Szukala

    From: Eddie Othman

    Subject: Second Opinion

    Ron,

    Per your request, I spent the last week at the club assessing our client’s income potential. Can you please expedite my expense report as I put everything on my Amex and can’t cover the bill I just received.

    Regards

    Eddie

    PS – I believe she can cover the nut.

  6. Posted by derp | May 6, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    they can’t read

  7. Posted by Anonymous | May 6, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    The Bess Bux currency is exclusive to Beamer’s.

  8. Posted by Lewis Winthorpe III | May 6, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    $550/night, 5 nights a week, as a stripper in NC? Challenge!

    Even if she gives EPIC bj’s that’s still unrealistic.

  9. Posted by Bob the Horse | May 6, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Imagine the size of the thong you would need to handle $1m stuffed down it.

  10. Posted by Kennylew | May 6, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    From: “Tony Noviello”

    To: “Eric Lapin”

    Eric:

    She’s telling me that she’s on a $10,000/month cash money retainer by a certain NC bank senior executive, she refers to him by “Kenny” though I looked and there is no executive of a real bank by this name in NC. But he’s been money good for a couple of years now, always asks about her kids, and she doesn’t even have to swallow.

    Please resubmit.

    Thx,

    Tony

  11. Posted by Chester D. Molester | May 6, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    that or 27.5 lapdances, not counting what they have to pay the house.

  12. Posted by Anonymous | May 6, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    You know you’ve made it when your office is located on T Rex Avenue.

  13. Posted by Guest | May 6, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Only 93.75 minutes of work (house is $200)

    or 19.5% “utilization rate” (8 Hour shift)

    –UBS Commodities Analyst

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  14. Posted by SeahorseSeahell | May 6, 2011 at 2:25 PM

    Soo, anyhoo, it’s Friday, and I’m not wearing pants. Not now, not never.

    Dresses.

  15. Posted by M. Whitney | May 6, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    I’ll send you one.

  16. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | May 6, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    Bang a gong, get it on.

  17. Posted by spanishmoon | May 6, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    I don’t think “withholding” was an issue here………

  18. Posted by FinkNottle | May 6, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    You mean you’ll borrow one from your man?

  19. Posted by Guest | May 6, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    WHY CAN’T IT READ??

    -Steve Jobs

  20. Posted by Anonymous | May 6, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    Please be specific about the type of jail somoene needs to go to for this.

    –MT

  21. Posted by Guest | May 6, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    Is that reported income? How do you approve a loan to someone whose income is all cash? No way is she reporting it all.

  22. Posted by Lewis Winthorpe III | May 6, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    Stop. Stop with your logic and reasoning. It’s free-for-all friday.

  23. Posted by Rivkat | May 6, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    Doesn’t this email chain reflect that they’re debating whether they should have made the loan, not whether to make it? It suggests she’s 2 months overdue. They’re now fighting over the putback, because they already made the loan. So I think it’s worse than the headline suggests.

  24. Posted by Lord Humongous | May 6, 2011 at 6:11 PM

    Bess, any relation to the obligor?

  25. Posted by Guest | May 6, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Agreed but see LW III’s comment above.

    – Guy who learned his lesson

  26. Posted by Guest | May 6, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    You don’t see this kind of stuff at UBS.

  27. Posted by Guest | May 6, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    Should have demanded 10,000 prepaid tickets for lap dances as collateral, instead of some shitty piece of real estate. With proper loan structuring, we wouldn’t be having this problem now.

    A real banker

  28. Posted by Silverstein | May 6, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Credit Suisse is the best you can work for, except BlackRock. Stop blaming bankers, journalists are fools, didn´t make the way of us financials. This behaviour must be stopped.

  29. Posted by Poop | May 6, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    That’s why its a no income loan you pansy. where have you been the past 5 years?

  30. Posted by Poop | May 6, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    That’s why its a no income loan you pansy. where have you been the past 5 years?

  31. Posted by Zilla | May 7, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Please never post again.

  32. Posted by Foi | May 8, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    They should have just verified her assets

    Leslie Scism

  33. Posted by Blanal | May 13, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    I wonder if her income will remain at those levels for the next 3 decades?   Hrm, things to think about between rounds of Angry Birds on the shitter…

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