As you may have heard, UBS has been going through a bit of a rough patch. Despite posting an annual profit (of 7.2 billion Swiss francs) for the first time since 2006, things just haven’t been the same since the crisis, and some have suggested it never will be, claiming that the bank “doesn’t have a chance” getting back to pre-crisis levels because “too much damage has been done.” Not helping things is the fact that there’s been very high turnover in the last couple months, which may have something to do with the fact that people would like to get paid. While a handful of marquee names (within the industry) have been lured with big checks, many senior bankers have heard nary a peep re bonuses in several years (and the staff’s pay overall is nothing to write home about, either). As one might imagine, tension is running high and recently within the investment bank, there’s been a decision, among those who’ve yet to quit, to air their grievances. The reaction from management? Put a sock in it.
On early morning conference calls, UBS AG investment-banking chief Carsten Kengeter has told senior bankers that he was done with their complaints about pay. “You just don’t get it,” he told thousands of bankers on more than one recent call, according to bankers who were on the call. “He told us that bankers are spoiled children and we’re the ones who messed this place up,” said one senior banker who recently left the firm. “You would get off the calls and think, ‘how can I stay here any longer?’”
So, actually not quite sure what to make of this. On the one hand, people should be compensated for the work they do, especially those who didn’t contribute to the multi-billion dollar losses. On the other, UBS did fuck up, and not in a small way, and perhaps a little slap in the face to jolt everyone back to reality is warranted?
At UBS, Complaints And Exits [WSJ]
UBS either needs to pay the money or shut the operation down, Wall Street is a money culture you either pony up or you get the fuck out of the game.
UBS ROCKS
Somebody say it, please.
So glad I quit and got out of that shit hole while I could. If you are a banker at UBS then you clearly have no other options at this point on Wall Street.
Go Fuck yourself UBS
I am here for the camaraderie and thrill of besting new challenges.
- Dude in conference room 33AC awaiting start of interview #42 at GS
The important issue is the likely impact on Beamers. I’ve tried getting the ladies to adopt a four-year vesting schedule, but so far, no takers.
i am an amateur poker player with a 2.9 at sarah lawrence who is really motivated. does anyone know who is hiring on wall street?
Goldman is currently recruiting to fill a few last minute spots for this year’s analyst class. Unfortunately we have minimum GPA requirement of 2.95. Try UBS though, I bet they will take a look at your resume
Do they need anyone to deliever this tough love approach?
-D. Strauss-Kahn
Do they need anyone to deliever this tough love approach?
-D. Strauss-Kahn
ok.
I want to stick my fist in your moose.
Reverse psychology. That works on kids. I mean “spoiled children.”
FYI: I like to deliver twice and misspell once.
Action plan: 1. Eliminate daily international calls with senior bankers
2. Reappropriate money saved on calls for banker bonus pool
You know who likes fisting?
Sock puppets.
UBS Sucks
-really it took you guys to the 16th post to say it, sorry for the delay MooseFister, promise this wont happen again
Maybe, ever banker needs to admit he/she is a bit spoiled. As was pointed out in another article, bankers are paid more than doctors, nuclear physicists, and people who get shot at every day (members of our Armed Forces). And I’m not talking about the money shot here, I mean getting shot at with real bullets.
So this whole comp thing, watched Inside Job this weekend (never get that 1 hr and 46 min of my life back) is BS.
If a banker raises 100MM for a company, or maybe even 1 BN for a company, how much does he/she deserve. Really, 100MM of which a company could not have gotten on its own (or why the fuck would they pay fees to an I-bank), how much of this is owed to the banker who put in all the work, had the connections, knew what people to talk to, how the market was doing, etc.
Think of it in percentages as well. If the top rainmakers at the BB’s can raise 1BN for a company, don’t you think they deserve at least 10MM personally for that deal (1%)
Who are you, and why are you here?
Lawyers, consultants, real-estate brokers and owners of car dealerships also make more than doctors and scientists. I presume you believe they are spoiled, too.
I would also point out that the categories “armed forces” and “Wall Street” are not mutually exclusive. There are plenty of people in this business who have either done a hitch in the service or are in the Reserves. Most members of the Armed Forces, after all, do not stay in for a full 20 year career.
UBS bankers have trouble getting reservations at Dorcia. They even have trouble at Barcadia.
I’d rather be a men’s room attendant at Lazard, than an MD at UBS.
Nobody goes there anymore.
P. Bateman
Regarding the armed forces vs. banker thing, I believe he making an argument about pay not correlating with the amount of risk involved on the job.
Ding, ding, ding!
I’m a trader, and I read this blog because it gives me a hearty laugh.
I’m just saying, if all hell broke loose (think Japanese tsunami) we’d need doctors, not M&A bankers.
Are you kidding me? You know how rough it is to sleep under your desk after spell checking, printing, and binding pitchbooks for 18 hours? I feel like I barely made it out of my intern-ing life alive.
good idea putting your knowledge of women’s history and dance to use on wall street.
I just called UBS to let them know how much they suck… but they put me on hold with some awful phil collins music in the background
good thing i remembered my rain coat today
Troll alert
I love the smell of intern B.O. in the morning
I feel dumber for pointing this out…
Doctors, nuclear physicists, and your mother all depend on their investments to retire.
By that standard, farmers, lumberjacks and coal miners should be the most highly-compensated people in America.
Actually, if there’s a tsunami, I’ll take a boat over a doctor.
doctor with a boat > boat > life-preserver > doctor
or did.
I feel dumber for pointing this out…
Without doctors, nuclear physicists, and you mother, you wouldn’t have investments to manage.
I’ll give you 1 and 3, two not so much.
If I spend 2 years as an analyst at UBS, can I still get great exit ops like Wal-Mart, McDonalds, and Mayor of Detroit, or is that reaching to high?
I heard UBS still thinks they have an industrial group… joke of the day?
I hope the sharks eat each other. It is a toss up which is worse. I say shoot them all and start over.