Which CEO Said It: “The Only Meat I’m Eating Is Meat From Animals I’ve Killed Myself”

“This year, my personal challenge is around being thankful for the food I have to eat. I think many people forget that a living being has to die for you to eat meat, so my goal revolves around not letting myself forget that and being thankful for what I have. This year I’ve basically become a vegetarian since the only meat I’m eating is from animals I’ve killed myself…[my] first kill was a lobster, which I boiled alive. The most interesting thing was how special it felt to eat it after having not eaten any seafood or meat in a while…on May 4…I killed a pig and a goat [by] cutting the throat of the goat with a knife, which is the most kind way to do it.”

Was it:

a) Jamie Dimon

b) Jeff Immelt

c) Bill Gross

d) Steve Cohen

e) Duncan Niederauer

f) Mark Zuckerberg

g) Carol Bartz

h) Stephen Schwarzman

i) Larry Fink

j) Larry Ellison

k) write-in

[Answer revealed here– no peeking!]

(hidden for your protection)
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66 Responses to “Which CEO Said It: “The Only Meat I’m Eating Is Meat From Animals I’ve Killed Myself””

  1. Last Man Standing says:

    dick fuld?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Got to be Ellison.

  3. Brian1284 says:


  4. JR says:

    Answer is “f” – the billionaire hoodie douche.

  5. Oooooh Yeah! says:

    Flavor Flav?

  6. AmericanBandersnatch says:

    k – Ted Nugent, CEO of Wango Tango Capital

  7. Zucked says:

    wow, this clown has no idea what’s coming to him one day. I don’t either but with the karma he’s collected… 

  8. The Walrus says:

    Big Raj?

  9. Fbooked says:

    What a disgusting slimy subhuman. (and the humane way to do it is with electricity first, or, in at-home conditions, bullet in the head)

  10. NakedShort says:

    Killing the food that you eat is the B.C.KI

  11. Wild Card says:

    I like to hunt humans in Philadelphia.  

  12. Guest says:

    K) Deutsche Bank MD

  13. Guest says:

    farmville just got real

  14. Whoever it is sounds like he must be a quiet guy, keeps to himself a lot.

  15. Gillrajb says:

    Its Zukerburg. similar article on the drudge


  16. I Hate Chickens says:

    Its Justin Timberlake!

  17. Seaman Bodine says:


  18. Barney Stinson says:

    Some poor cow’s facebook page just updated their status to sad.

  19. Guesticles says:

    Gary Busey Capital Management CEO?

  20. Guest says:

    I delegate the killing. I’m busy and have better things to do. Plus I feel bad for the poor, factory-farmed critters.

  21. early hominid says:

    Until Neanderthals came along, we used to do this all the time, it was no big deal. 

  22. Lucky Zuck says:

    “I only act on business plans taken from others with my own hands.”

  23. InsiderorPonzi says:

    K) DSK—“Lots of vitamin E…”

  24. Indeed says:

    Jesse Eisenberg

  25. Groucho says:

    Big deal.  You know, Ive killed an elephant in my pajamas.  How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.

  26. Logical Dude says:

    And, so, then the only trades he’s making come from analysts he’s killed himself?

  27. guest says:

    the only thing left for him to do to prove he’s completely lost his mind is to put a bid in on the mets

  28. Buster Hyman Minsky says:

    I followed Bess’ suggestion and didn’t do any “peaking” [sic]. I guess Cliff Asness (Biff Basness), as he seems like the type to have a macho survivalist streak.

    • Buster Hyman Minsky says:

      I see I was wrong, it’s not Basness. Joe Biden should be upset with the (unnamed) CEO who *is* doing his own animal killing, as that’s one fewer job (slaughterhouse worker) that  won’t be created during the second Summer of Recovery.

  29. Aha says:

    Larry Ellison

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