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Accused Insider Trader’s Attorney Would Like To Wrap This Up So Client Can Get Home To Feed Dog

This could play well with the golden retriever lovers on the jury.

Joanna Hendon, Jiau’s lawyer, told jurors that while her client passed nonpublic information, it wasn’t “material,” or something a reasonable investor would consider important in trading or to have a bearing upon a stock price. “We’re going to prove to you beyond a reasonable doubt that none of that information she provided was material, and certainly there was no crime,” Hendon said.

Hendon said her client, a naturalized U.S. citizen originally from Taiwan, had a golden retriever waiting at home. “Put an end to this misguided prosecution,” Hendon said. “Send Ms. Jiau back to California, and to her dog.”

[Bloomberg]

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55 Responses to “Accused Insider Trader’s Attorney Would Like To Wrap This Up So Client Can Get Home To Feed Dog”

  1. PasteSpecialFormats says:

    There’s an unattended dog in California?!? I can be reached at the main terminal of Teterboro.

    -DK

  2. Guest says:

    Golden retriever > Everything x Infinity 

  3. WallStWanderer says:

    I got solicited by a lady of the night near wall street the other night. She seemed pretty normal looking until she said she needed 1000 “kisses”. Is this a sign the economy is tanking (normal looking girls are selling themselves) or a sign that the economy is so strong that she just assumes guys are walking around with a $1000 in their back pocket?

    • Guest says:

      It’s a sign that your jokes suck and you are unable to understand the concept of staying on topic with the post.

  4. Mr. Market says:

    Since tomorrow is the CFA, prepare yourself with the following question:

    Sandra Lee, CFA, works for the wealth management division of a bulge bracket investment bank.  One day her boss, Jimmy Chokain, asks her to wine and dine a prospective client, Charlie Sheehan.  Jimmy unfortunately cannot attend because he has accounting statements to review, and unfortunately, “can’t find his papers anywhere”.  He asks Sandra to “do whatever it takes to win this client”.

    Sandra picks an upscale restaurant and arranges the meeting with Charlie for the next evening, at 8pm.  An hour before the arranged dinner, Charlie emails Sandra the following email: “plans r changed, my place 1am, bring da stuff”, along with the address of his home.  Unfortunately, Sandra typically goes to sleep at 10pm, and this request seems inappropriate.

    Should Sandra:
    (a) courier the presentation deck and associated marketing collateral to Charlie’s home, and send an email apologizing and requesting a new meeting time
    (b) assume that “da stuff” refers to last quarter’s equity composite performance numbers.  Ask an analyst at the firm to quickly prepare an addendum to the presentation materials (GIPS compliant, of course), and bring the revised deck to Charlie’s house
    (c) head to 13th st, and purchase four grams of Blue Locomotive, expensed to the firm in twenty increments of $49.50 without receipt
    (d) have the analyst laminate and waterproof each slide of the pitchbook
    (e) [essay space provided]

  5. Guest says:

    I’m pretty sure he just meant that she wanted to go home and eat dinner.

  6. Ms. Jiau says:

    And by feed, I mean eat.

  7. Hendon added, “FUCKING DOG FORT IS NO FUCKING JOKE!”

  8. Wow says:

    The cuteness of this dog is plain criminal!

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