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Caption Contest Thursday: Maria Bartiromo Brings The Heat


Maria Bartiromo throwing out the opening pitch at last night’s Cubs v Brewers game.

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111 Responses to “Caption Contest Thursday: Maria Bartiromo Brings The Heat”

  1. in love with pmco avatar says:

    i was surprised they were able to find a jersey to fit her

  2. Rude says:

    Q. What did the baseball say to Maria?
    A. See ya round….

  3. 104 years and counting says:

    Laugh if you want, but she’s starting for the Cubs tonight.

  4. Bess Lumpkin says:

    Looks like Bartolo Colon escaped from the Bronx, put on a pair of (plus size) women’s jeans, a Cubs jersey, and a wig.

  5. Picture #2: “Escaped species with bad genes taunts player before being tranquilized and returned to zoo” 

  6. Guest says:

    Was there a chance the ball was going to be hit back?

    –Guy who’s wondering why she has a glove on

  7. Guest says:

    I didn’t know Sianis’ Goat was still ali…. oh… yeah.

  8. Guest says:

    Watch out for the curve ball!

    Erin burnett

  9. Azzy says:

    She’s cute. It’s moving all the way to Argentina.

  10. Ntri says:

    Maria realizes she is more a catcher than a pitcher

  11. Guest says:

    Bartman>Bartiromo

  12. Guest says:

    Like the Cubs…My better days are behind me.

    M. Bartiromo a.k.a. Thunder Thighs

  13. Tom C says:

    “You throw like Haines”

  14. Michael Wilbon says:

    Maria,   
    You look like a fool! You need to tuck your jersey INTO your pants like me!

  15. Black Mamba says:

    Don’t care.  Would still tap that juicy ass with the lights on, the entire city of Chicago watching and me pretending to be a howler monkey.

    • GuestORama says:

      I’d like to see you say that the next morning when you wake up all hungover and proceed to hide under the kitchen sink hoping your friends don’t find out

  16. Guest says:

    I’ve seen a bigger crowd at Fresco’s during lunch on a slow day.

    M. Bar tit homo

  17. Out option buyer says:

    Tony Campana (guy in foreground): “Hey, Bartiromo, I’ve got some foul balls for you to play with in locker room after the game.”
    Bartiromo: “Yaaaayyy!!!”

  18. Momentus says:

    “So how do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?”

    “When she fits into your wife’s clothes.”

  19. Guest says:

    Come on Gasparino! Put the gun down! It’s not my fault you ended at Fox!

  20. lax BRO says:

     God she’s dumpy.

  21. Barteby the Scrivener says:

    “They’re throwing a tea party here on the floor of Cubs Stadium.”   

  22. Cub fan says:

    Are you smiling? There is no smiling….there is no smiling in baseball!

  23. Pete_broms says:

    Did they use the tarp from Wrigley to make jeans for Maria?

  24. Guessed says:

    Since when were mascots allowed to throw out the first pitch?

  25. Baconator says:

    Thank god her glove was made out of bacon.

  26. Jackie Treehorn says:

    No balls and all strikes. 

  27. Ragnar says:

    I wonder if Lane Bryant could use this as print ad… ?

  28. Guy Who Likes Crazy Broads says:

    Congrats on the pregnancy Maria!

  29. Roger Clemens says:

    I would love to slurve her wheelhouse. 

  30. Mandingo says:

    Cosmo says she’s fat? Well I a’int down with that

  31. Guest says:

    I swear she looked better a few years ago when she came to Wake Forest…

  32. Guest says:

    She couldn’t handle Weiner, but can handle balls.

  33. Wire says:

    Is it just me or is she a dead ringer for Rachel Dratch in the second photo?

  34. Guest says:

    Look mommy, the rhino’s getting too close to the car

    • Wahoo says:

      Who the fuck does she think she is?

      – Marla Hooch and “All the way” Mae Mordabito

  35. Anonymous says:

    Christ, what an asshole!

    Works everywhere..http://www.robertsinclair.net/comic/asshole.html

  36. guest says:

    no, no, maybe the back of her knee, no.  wait, is that all one person?  

  37. Guest says:

    Say, where’s the hotel receipt [guy] that accompanies these pictures?

  38. This4u says:

    Where’s the Steller Lapin smooch gross fest picture?

  39. Guest says:

    When did CC Sabathia sign for the Cubs?

    –B. Cashman

    • Too much junk in the trunk says:

      Caption Contest

      “Does this jersey make my tits to ass ratio look all out of whack?”

  40. Todd Thompson says:

    From a past of high hard ones and to a future of soft wobblers

  41. Guest says:

    Nice jeans, mom.

  42. Cs88 says:

    Maria makes baseball purists long for the days when Wrigley did not have lights.

  43. Quantonomero says:

    Read couple of comments: feeling as if i just visited highschool bathroom. Grow up, boys, willya?

  44. Guest says:

    SIGN HER!

    – Cubs GM

  45. Golden Boy says:

    Check out the last photo. Born for porn indeed.

    -SEC guy

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