Gang, something big has come up this morning and we need to discuss it right now. Don’t want to scare anyone but also don’t want to minimize the enormity of this news so let’s just get right to it. Wall Street has been keeping a secret. Look around at your colleagues this morning. The ones who attended schools like Yale, Princeton and Harvard and played sports like lacrosse and squash and use the word ‘summer’ as a verb and describe the color red as Nantucket red and argue the HJs don’t count if you give them to a guy whose named ends in IV and get aroused at the mere thought of an ACK sticker? They might have had an easier time breaking into the industry than those who graduated from lower ranked universities and did not get their WASP on. Yes, really.

After you’ve picked your jaws up off the floor, you’re presumably going to want to fight us on this and shout “It can’t be!” and “You lie!” Sorry to say it, pumpkins, it’s the truth. But don’t take our word for it- someone actually did a study on the shocking phenomenon.

Lauren Rivera — a 32-year-old sociologist who teaches management and organizations at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management — has concluded it’s still where you went rather than what you did there that makes the difference…She says “elite professional service employers” rely more on academic pedigree than any other factor. For recruiters, it’s prestige that counts, rather than “content” like grades, courses, internships, or other actual performance. That’s because if you got into a “super-elite” school — which essentially means Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Wharton (University of Pennsylvania), and Stanford — you must be smart. Plus, time spent at those bastions in turn will make you “polished” and attractive to corporate clients. It is, according to Rivera, a largely self-perpetuating hiring process that prizes efficiency: Why spend effort looking for “that one needle in the haystack” at a “safety school” like the University of Michigan or, heavens forfend, Bowling Green, when the run-of-the-mill Yalie’s still a prince. Even “second-tier” Ivies like Brown, according to Rivera, are suspect for the top firms.

The most surprising finding in Rivera’s research — conducted through observation and anonymous interviewing — was about the role of extracurriculars. While going to a super-elite gets your penny loafer in the door, that isn’t enough. Rivera says it’s leisure pursuits that seal the deal. Employers use these as “valid markers” or “proxies” of a candidate’s “social and moral worth,” all the more so for time-intensive sports that “resonate with white, upper-middle-class culture.” Think lacrosse, squash, crew, and field hockey. Skip football, basketball, and soccer. And no sport at all suggests “nerd,” which correlates to future “corporate drone.”

Now that this wild news is out in the open, let’s get into something even crazier- the people who were able to get jobs on Wall Street without such “polish.” If you, for example, attended Columbia and played football, how were you able to land a gig? If you’re bashful about admitting it involved 2 pieces of Scotch Tape, a half empty sugar free Red Bull, a poster of the original Saved By The Bell cast, a used colonoscopy bag and the board game Chutes and Ladders, don’t be- it’s what we were expecting anyway.

Ivy League Is Still The Best Route To Landing A Job On Wall Street [CNN]

224 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (224)

  1. Posted by Guess | June 2, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    Add Northwestern to the suspect list after this bullshit study.

  2. Posted by Tommy Boy | June 2, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    Where does Rugby fit into the mix?

    Marquette ’92, ’93, AND ’94

  3. Posted by Brian1284 | June 2, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Insider Information got me on the street.
    -Bud Fox-

  4. Posted by Dr. Rosenrose | June 2, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    I say let Harvard have its sports and academics. Yale will always be first in gentlemanly club life.
    C.M. Burns

  5. Posted by Nervous Jew | June 2, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    I’m nervous. 

  6. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    all the kids i grew up with who went to harvard, yale, stanford, princeton and penn were nerds whether they played squash or soccer

  7. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    If I’m not mistaken, this study confirms why there will be about 2k miserable souls spending a fine saturday afternoon jailed up in the Javits Center… 

  8. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    I got the full study from ScienceDirect – it is a must read for anyone hoping to send their kids/relatives to work at the top firms. Essentially puts a “scientific framework” onto hiring into the top firms – be that law or banking. The most incredible conclusion of the study is that in fact the high school is the most important period of your life rather than college or grad school – because your performance there will sharply determine everything else.  

  9. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    Boolah, boolah!

  10. Posted by Hofstra Baller | June 2, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    I went to Hofstra and play stick ball.  I can write my own ticket.  Suck on that. 

  11. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    “You think the guy who ripped an average of 15 shots on cage a game is going to hire the guy who didn’t even total that at one top gun camp?  C’MON!”

    -L. Blankfein

  12. Posted by Dick Gross | June 2, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    And here I am, thinking HJ’s only don’t count if you don’t kiss the woman giving one. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  13. Posted by El Tigre | June 2, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    Wait, there are schools other than Yale?

  14. Posted by Chuck Schick | June 2, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    Are you going to Harvard?

  15. Posted by Danny Noonan | June 2, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    No, St. Copius of Northern…

  16. Posted by Hamilton | June 2, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    I was not interviewed by Ms.Rivera, she’s got somethin against her guidos from Brooklyn.

    - Joe Cassano

  17. Posted by Chuck Schick | June 2, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    Where???

  18. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    I didnt have a hard time landing my job at all.

    -Zinfandel Wilcox-Bugsby
    (formerly Lamarr Flaminga Jones)

  19. Posted by Put_Option | June 2, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    Right before finals, I used to walk into Uris wearing Tod’s drivers, a vintage Omega Seamaster hand-me-down, Vilebrequin trunks, a linen Brooks Brothers shirt, and topped off nicely with a pair of Mosley Tribes shades. I got all Ds, a first year analyst job at Piper Jaffray, and access to the back door at Dorrian’s any time I want.

    You nerds can have Quant. I’ll be too busy crushing natty lites and biddies to care about Monte Carlo or whatever…

    -The Man

  20. Posted by Drumm | June 2, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    This slam piece sounds like a total bro hater. She needs to lighten up and take a ride on the pound town express.

  21. Posted by Andelt | June 2, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    And a degree from SUNY Oswego with extracurriculars like the beer funnel team and intramural floor hockey gets u a job brokering the brokers at BCG or Euro Brokers…..  Big Deal.  Ivy league chicks don’t keep the change.

  22. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    But, Dick Fuld went to Univ of Colorado? 

  23. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    This study is incomplete unless she notes that you get fired on Wall Street if you are too sexy for the job.

    -Debrelee

  24. Posted by CT | June 2, 2011 at 2:35 PM

    It’s a must read? Is that you, Lauren?

  25. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    So Wall Street is ran by mediocre students with mediocre athletic talent? 

  26. Posted by Brian1284 | June 2, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    I wore a DHAs hoodie to my interview and it sealed the deal.

  27. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    So uh, I didn’t go to any of those places but my extracurricular activities include a 5k marathon, so get in line.  Remember when booking my travel accommodations to book me first class with a car and driver to the Four Seasons.  And you better hurry because I’ve already got a number of other offers in hand from the Street.

    Jeffrey Chiang

  28. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 2, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    Really?  I would have thought the most important thing is the moment of conception.  I would recommend doing a study to see if those conceived by smart, wealthy, educated and stable parents outperform the typical child.  The results could be as surprising as Lauren’s study.

  29. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    yea there was a pretty strong Lax program at Thomas Jefferson High in East New York, Brooklyn in the seventies…. 

    Ironically, lots of ppl did wear their Red’s but they weren’t the Ivy laxer types.

  30. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 2, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    I hope you’re not white.  So declasse.

  31. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    I’m more interested in Bess explaining what one does with “2 pieces of Scotch Tape, a half empty sugar free Red Bull, a poster of the original Saved By The Bell cast, a used colonoscopy bag and the board game Chutes and Ladders” — I assume all pieces must be used.

  32. Posted by grammarian | June 2, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Less mediocre than someone who says ran instead of run 

  33. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    just b/c there was a financial crisis that took down Lehman, Bear and Merrill & made MS and GS look like just as bad DOES NOT mean you can go around bragging about having landed a 1st yr at Piper Jaffray…

    I am sure you’ve moved on, but the mistake is so Piper Jaffray’ish of you…

  34. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    Wait, so all this about a CFA is not relevent?

    –Mutumbo Kabanga
    Ghanaian CFA candidate

  35. Posted by BC | June 2, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    The results of this research are extremely counterintuitive. It is my firm believe that Wall Street  hires the best, the finest, the smartest. That’s why these geniuses rightfully deserve: money, hookers, first class tickets, cocaine, luxury hotels, maids ready to service their needs,  tax payers bailouts and much more.

  36. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    Always seemed to me like there were more people in this biz from Duke/UVa/Bucknell/NESCAC than from Hah-vuhd et al.

    -Conn Coll alum

  37. Posted by Miami | June 2, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    Getting at job under Lloyd with a 3.3 from Suntan U is the NKI.

  38. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    This study is bullshit, I went to Eastern Appalachian State University Hair Care and Tire Center, and I’m kickass.

    -Sr. AIG Quant

  39. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    But how long before you max out your Chase debit card running train on 8 and above slam pieces?  We thought so.
    - The Winklevii

  40. Posted by PublicU | June 2, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Just like most things on Wall Street, we didn’t need a study to know this.  Again Main Street is slowly catching on.

  41. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    tape eyes open, snort it, screw it, wear it, play it, in that order.

    it’s a pressure test, Chutes and Ladders is the ultimate test of a person’s intelligence

  42. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    Hi, my name’s sarcasm, have we met?

  43. Posted by iit | June 2, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    iit?

  44. Posted by CT | June 2, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    You’re an idiot.

  45. Posted by get over yourself | June 2, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    ridiculous, a marathon is only a marathon if its 26 miles.  a 5k is just a 5k run.  don’t be so impressed with yourself.  5k is the standard length of a HIGH SCHOOL cross country race. 

  46. Posted by Non-Entity Hedge Fund Manager | June 2, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Is that a 4 year school?

  47. Posted by impossible ins't nothing | June 2, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    While we believe your ballroom dancing, Krav Maga black belt, gnarly 360 on ski’s, impressive bench press and 140 mph overhand serve is admirable, we regret to inform you that we will not be pursuing your application further with Goldman Sachs and Co.

    You neglected to include shot speed (overhand and side arm), face off percentage, GB averages, and scoring figures.  Thank you and we will keep your records on file if another position happens to become available in the future.

    -Goldman Sachs HCM

  48. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    me too.

  49. Posted by kenny powers | June 2, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    POON!

  50. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    Hate to quote “freakanomics” but hasn’t it been shown that 90% of how one ends up is dependent on what their parents were like?  

  51. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    Lacrosse = male equivalent of field hockey

  52. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 2, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    New here?

  53. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    well, he is drinking natty so…

  54. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    *whoosh

  55. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | June 2, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    BMCC, major in Human Resource Management, captain of IM Table Tennis team.

    Suck on my prestige.

  56. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    I would tell you, but it’s not like you’re not cumming in my mouth.

    -LT

  57. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    You forgot to sign your comment “Tullet Prebon MD”

  58. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    that’s because they probably don’t let you off the accounting floor that often

  59. Posted by carl | June 2, 2011 at 3:34 PM
  60. Posted by K. Owen | June 2, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Recent studies produced by a researcher at Duke suggest that school is also considered an elite institution so long as you are a mildly attractive female candidate looking to sleep your way to the top. 

  61. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Google Jeffrey Chiang…return to this thread…supplicate.

    While you’re at it, look up Peter Chung.

  62. Posted by Dotcomlover | June 2, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Football=Too small, too slow
    Soccer= Unskilled, undeceptive
    Tennis=Undedicated
    Track=C’mon, who you kidding?
    Lacrosse=Starter, UVA.

  63. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Are you an idiot, or just play one on the Internet?

  64. Posted by Ray Finkle | June 2, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Javits center or not, the delusional ones who think CFA=Job on Wall St- are to be pitied.

  65. Posted by get over yourself | June 2, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    my bad.  i do remember that story now. 

  66. Posted by Ray Finkle | June 2, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    They have bottle service in Minneapolis? 

  67. Posted by Theodore_III | June 2, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    Please dont hate me because Im beautiful.

    -Ivy league graduate and ex-jock who’s father and grandfather kicked ass on Wall Street, now its my turn.
    -BTW, I wear Vineyard Vines, drive an Audi Q7, summer at Poppy’s house in Nantucket, have a hot wife and beautiful children in Westport and a weekday apartment on the Upper West side(where I bang a series of 23 year old assistants on the side).

  68. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Re: Top Gun, do you count pipes?  Any trading desks need a solid FOGO/team leader type?

  69. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Re: Top Gun, do you count pipes?  Any trading desks need a solid FOGO/team leader type?

  70. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Re: Top Gun, do you count pipes?  Any trading desks need a solid FOGO/team leader type?

  71. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Re: Top Gun, do you count pipes?  Any trading desks need a solid FOGO/team leader type?

  72. Posted by Brian1284 | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Extracurriculars: Loop n’ Doop, Guap n’ Drop and R.D.A
    -USC Grad-

  73. Posted by Brian1284 | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Extracurriculars: Loop n’ Doop, Guap n’ Drop and R.D.A
    -USC Grad-

  74. Posted by Brian1284 | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Extracurriculars: Loop n’ Doop, Guap n’ Drop and R.D.A
    -USC Grad-

  75. Posted by Brian1284 | June 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Extracurriculars: Loop n’ Doop, Guap n’ Drop and R.D.A
    -USC Grad-

  76. Posted by Ray Finkle | June 2, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Obviously back office- refers to Middle Office as accounting floor.

    -Guy in front office

  77. Posted by Ray Finkle | June 2, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Obviously back office- refers to Middle Office as accounting floor.

    -Guy in front office

  78. Posted by Ray Finkle | June 2, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Obviously back office- refers to Middle Office as accounting floor.

    -Guy in front office

  79. Posted by Ray Finkle | June 2, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Obviously back office- refers to Middle Office as accounting floor.

    -Guy in front office

  80. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Foreign university, major in psych, minor in org behavior, no extracurriculars because I had to work to pay for school and support my 4 younger brothers and sisters. Other than that, I got no beef with her study.

  81. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Foreign university, major in psych, minor in org behavior, no extracurriculars because I had to work to pay for school and support my 4 younger brothers and sisters. Other than that, I got no beef with her study.

  82. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Foreign university, major in psych, minor in org behavior, no extracurriculars because I had to work to pay for school and support my 4 younger brothers and sisters. Other than that, I got no beef with her study.

  83. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Many studies on heritability of IQ that rely on twin and siblings studies prove without a shred of a doubt that heritability is the most important factor in both future income and IQ. Even NY Times agreed to that.  

  84. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Many studies on heritability of IQ that rely on twin and siblings studies prove without a shred of a doubt that heritability is the most important factor in both future income and IQ. Even NY Times agreed to that.  

  85. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Many studies on heritability of IQ that rely on twin and siblings studies prove without a shred of a doubt that heritability is the most important factor in both future income and IQ. Even NY Times agreed to that.  

  86. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Many studies on heritability of IQ that rely on twin and siblings studies prove without a shred of a doubt that heritability is the most important factor in both future income and IQ. Even NY Times agreed to that.  

  87. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    believe is a verb OTTNC

  88. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    believe is a verb OTTNC

  89. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    believe is a verb OTTNC

  90. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    There are a lot more smart and hardworking people than there are jobs on Wall St – therefore there is this selection mechanism for picking out the winners (fair or not, but it makes sense). Otherwise there are too many people that apply to those jobs. The study specifically mentions the reasoning of HR at top firm: “why sift through a haystack at a local State school when you can showel at Harvard/Stanford” or some such.

  91. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    There are a lot more smart and hardworking people than there are jobs on Wall St – therefore there is this selection mechanism for picking out the winners (fair or not, but it makes sense). Otherwise there are too many people that apply to those jobs. The study specifically mentions the reasoning of HR at top firm: “why sift through a haystack at a local State school when you can showel at Harvard/Stanford” or some such.

  92. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    There are a lot more smart and hardworking people than there are jobs on Wall St – therefore there is this selection mechanism for picking out the winners (fair or not, but it makes sense). Otherwise there are too many people that apply to those jobs. The study specifically mentions the reasoning of HR at top firm: “why sift through a haystack at a local State school when you can showel at Harvard/Stanford” or some such.

  93. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    No mate, just a concerned older brother and hopefully a father one day, who likes to distill things to science where possible. I certainly do work on Wall St and agree with all observations made in the paper.

  94. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    No mate, just a concerned older brother and hopefully a father one day, who likes to distill things to science where possible. I certainly do work on Wall St and agree with all observations made in the paper.

  95. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    No mate, just a concerned older brother and hopefully a father one day, who likes to distill things to science where possible. I certainly do work on Wall St and agree with all observations made in the paper.

  96. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    No mate, just a concerned older brother and hopefully a father one day, who likes to distill things to science where possible. I certainly do work on Wall St and agree with all observations made in the paper.

  97. Posted by Put_Option | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Wait, you mean sitting on a plastic chair at table D8 in an airport hanger used for car shows while answering questions about extended DuPont and elasticity isn’t what the cool kids are doing?

    - Trade Reconciliation/Affirmation Expert

  98. Posted by Put_Option | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Wait, you mean sitting on a plastic chair at table D8 in an airport hanger used for car shows while answering questions about extended DuPont and elasticity isn’t what the cool kids are doing?

    - Trade Reconciliation/Affirmation Expert

  99. Posted by Put_Option | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Wait, you mean sitting on a plastic chair at table D8 in an airport hanger used for car shows while answering questions about extended DuPont and elasticity isn’t what the cool kids are doing?

    - Trade Reconciliation/Affirmation Expert

  100. Posted by Put_Option | June 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Wait, you mean sitting on a plastic chair at table D8 in an airport hanger used for car shows while answering questions about extended DuPont and elasticity isn’t what the cool kids are doing?

    - Trade Reconciliation/Affirmation Expert

  101. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    I disagree.

    -Mortimer Duke

  102. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    I disagree.

    -Mortimer Duke

  103. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    I disagree.

    -Mortimer Duke

  104. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    I disagree.

    -Mortimer Duke

  105. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Yes- choice of Miller Lite or Grain Belt.

  106. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Yes- choice of Miller Lite or Grain Belt.

  107. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Yes- choice of Miller Lite or Grain Belt.

  108. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Yes- choice of Miller Lite or Grain Belt.

  109. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Ivy league graduate and ex-jock who’s father
    its my turn

    Really?

  110. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Ivy league graduate and ex-jock who’s father
    its my turn

    Really?

  111. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Ivy league graduate and ex-jock who’s father
    its my turn

    Really?

  112. Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Ivy league graduate and ex-jock who’s father
    its my turn

    Really?

  113. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    What’s an “accounting floor”?

  114. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    What’s an “accounting floor”?

  115. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    What’s an “accounting floor”?

  116. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    What’s an “accounting floor”?

  117. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    experience in pipe city is essential. welcome aboard.

  118. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    experience in pipe city is essential. welcome aboard.

  119. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    experience in pipe city is essential. welcome aboard.

  120. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    experience in pipe city is essential. welcome aboard.

  121. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    sound of joke going right over his head?

  122. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    sound of joke going right over his head?

  123. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    sound of joke going right over his head?

  124. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    sound of joke going right over his head?

  125. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    I do not trust Mortimer much - I only listen to what Yoda has to say.

  126. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    I do not trust Mortimer much - I only listen to what Yoda has to say.

  127. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    I do not trust Mortimer much - I only listen to what Yoda has to say.

  128. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    I do not trust Mortimer much - I only listen to what Yoda has to say.

  129. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I went to tufts and i’ve fired many self absorbed, entitled aholes from all these schools.  in fact i’m thinking of foreclosing on this professor’s mortgage for wasting my associates time reading her study on dealbreaker.

    -J. Dimon, HBS MBA

  130. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I went to tufts and i’ve fired many self absorbed, entitled aholes from all these schools.  in fact i’m thinking of foreclosing on this professor’s mortgage for wasting my associates time reading her study on dealbreaker.

    -J. Dimon, HBS MBA

  131. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I went to tufts and i’ve fired many self absorbed, entitled aholes from all these schools.  in fact i’m thinking of foreclosing on this professor’s mortgage for wasting my associates time reading her study on dealbreaker.

    -J. Dimon, HBS MBA

  132. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I went to tufts and i’ve fired many self absorbed, entitled aholes from all these schools.  in fact i’m thinking of foreclosing on this professor’s mortgage for wasting my associates time reading her study on dealbreaker.

    -J. Dimon, HBS MBA

  133. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    You have been cited by the contraction police

  134. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    You have been cited by the contraction police

  135. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    You have been cited by the contraction police

  136. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    You have been cited by the contraction police

  137. Posted by NakedShort | June 2, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    37 FTW!!!!!

    -Nostalgic Dealbreaker Thread Guy

  138. Posted by NakedShort | June 2, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    37 FTW!!!!!

    -Nostalgic Dealbreaker Thread Guy

  139. Posted by NakedShort | June 2, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    37 FTW!!!!!

    -Nostalgic Dealbreaker Thread Guy

  140. Posted by NakedShort | June 2, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    37 FTW!!!!!

    -Nostalgic Dealbreaker Thread Guy

  141. Posted by Lacey | June 2, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Bye Chuck

  142. Posted by Lacey | June 2, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Bye Chuck

  143. Posted by Lacey | June 2, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Bye Chuck

  144. Posted by Lacey | June 2, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Bye Chuck

  145. Posted by ProfessorMagnus | June 2, 2011 at 4:17 PM

     Ironically, I know someone who, in 2007, went from MO product control @ shittygroup to a boutique banking position in part because he had CFA L1 completed

  146. Posted by ProfessorMagnus | June 2, 2011 at 4:17 PM

     Ironically, I know someone who, in 2007, went from MO product control @ shittygroup to a boutique banking position in part because he had CFA L1 completed

  147. Posted by FinkNottle | June 2, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    OMG! I drive an Audi Q7 too!

    - Mrs. Preston Pfaff III (Highland Park, Dallas, TX) formerly of Texas Christian University.

  148. Posted by FinkNottle | June 2, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    OMG! I drive an Audi Q7 too!

    - Mrs. Preston Pfaff III (Highland Park, Dallas, TX) formerly of Texas Christian University.

  149. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    They have sports at Brown?

  150. Posted by guester | June 2, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    So is schizophrenia.  Einstein’s son was a schizophrenic.  High IQ’s can get tricky in the genetic pool.

    Future income is not correlated to IQ.  Nicola Tesla died a pauper.  Kim Kardashian makes millions.

  151. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    2007. ’nuff said.

  152. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    Yeah – women’s sports

  153. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    I take your Tesla coil and Kim Chi examples and counter them with an example of a grandma from the second floor who frequently sits outside of my apartment building whose life experience disagrees with your point.

    You cannot just bring two random examples to illustrate a point spanning billions of people (pretty laughable actually). I speak of it because of extensive studies conducted by serious scientists in that regard.

  154. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 4:55 PM

    -Westport, not Weston or Darien or Washington Depot.
    -Upper *West* Side. 
    -Flashy new car.
    -Nantucket, not Watch Hill or Fishers Island or Damariscotta. 

    Were you by chance born in Queens? 

  155. Posted by FML | June 2, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    That’s a pretty accurate estimate for someone who writes like he’s too good to go to the Javits Center on select Saturdays.

    -guy who knows that was an accurate estimate and is unfortunately not too good to go to the Javits Center on select Saturdays

  156. Posted by Curious George | June 2, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    What is OTTNC?

  157. Posted by guester | June 2, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    As long as you attend the right high school, have the right connections to obtain the best internships and high profile recommendation letters, and your parents can afford two years of SAT coaching and college essay writers, then yes, high school is the most significant period of your life.

  158. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    beats the hell out of me
    -Erin Callan

  159. Posted by Lewis Winthorpe III | June 2, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    What if I told you I averaged 15 GBs a game?  What then, Blankfein?

  160. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    Come on  Bess….WASP???? We all know most of Wall Street/Hedge Funds are run by Jews, No? then publish a list of the top hedgefunds/I-Banks CEO’s.

    We know.

  161. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    Jeffrey, it’s okay, you have Ivy League pedigree all over you, you have HBS on your ressie

  162. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    be happy the CFA lost your test

  163. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 2, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    The commentariat has gone to shit since Joke Briefer stopped making a regular appearance.

    Damned kids.

  164. Posted by Grandpa Ted | June 2, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    You are going to have the trust pulled out from under you, due to the “going Democrat” clause.

  165. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 2, 2011 at 5:30 PM

    Try:

    Lacrosse=Hockey for pussies

  166. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 5:31 PM

    The Harvard of Hempstead

    - ’92 MBA Grad
    - ’90 SUNY Albany Undergrad
    - JPM’er
    - Former Leh (not quant)

  167. Posted by Theodore_III | June 2, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    No, Bayonne. Forgive me if my fiction was not nuanced properly.

  168. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 6:03 PM

    Wow your kids are going to be fucked up bro.

  169. Posted by Mark Haines Ghost | June 2, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    Women shouldn’t be in charge of sports.

  170. Posted by Bess Fan | June 2, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    you drive a Q7?  you might as well drive a Porsche Boxter.  scum bag. banging the type of chicks that wouldn’t give you the time of day 10 years ago?  by the way, your wife says hello.

  171. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    Other than that…

  172. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    Brian T. Moynihan, President/CEO, Bank of America
    Robert Edward Diamond Jr., President/CEO, Barclays PLC
    Vikram S. Pandit, Chief Executive Officer, Citigroup Inc.
    Brady W. Dougan, Chief Executive Officer, Credit Suisse Group
    Lloyd C. Blankfein, Chairman/CEO, Goldman Sachs Group
    James Dimon, Chairman/CEO, JP Morgan Chase & Co.
    James P. Gorman, President/CEO, Morgan Stanley
    Oswald J. Gruebel, Chief Executive Officer, UBS AG

    2 or 3 Irishmen (not sure about Gorman), one Greek, one German, one Indian, one Jewish guy, and one (Diamond) that I’m not sure of.

    Sounds like if you’re going to hate on anyone you ought to form an Orange Lodge.

  173. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    Those were fun days; trying to figure out who was arguing with whom and following three different conversations at once. 

    - not the Nostalgic Dealbreaker guy but a fan of his work

  174. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 6:23 PM

    He remains among us, just not as the JB. 

  175. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    Westport?

  176. Posted by SRH | June 2, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    You’re a real cranky bitch these days. The Joke Briefer was/is (he left a comment yesterday) good but the comments on DB still pretty fucking hilarious/best on the internet (Deadspin is a close second).

  177. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    Why don’t you start pulling some weight?

  178. Posted by BankerChick | June 2, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    One guy forgot the joke, 20 others didn’t. You should consider not getting your panties in a bunch.

  179. Posted by GoldenGirl | June 2, 2011 at 6:28 PM

    FTW

  180. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    No means yes and yes means, well, you know what yes means!

  181. Posted by Curious George | June 2, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    Thanks bud, I thought it’s some kind of profanity

  182. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 6:45 PM

    15 gbs a game is stellar.  we’re a little light on the faceoffs desk – how about 350k base?

    -L.B.

  183. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    2% of the population yet 48% of Forbes richest americans.

    Hava nagila, hava nagilaHava nagila
    venis’mechaHava neranena, hava neranenaHava
    neranena venis’mechaUru, uru achimUru achim belev same’ach

    Lloyd
    C. Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of Goldman
    Sachs[1]

    Ivan Boesky, Wall Street financier and arbitrageur [2]

    Asher
    Edelman, Wall Street corporate raider (“Wall Street” movie
    character)[2]

    Andrew
    Fastow, former CFO of Enron[3]

    Marcus
    Goldman, co-founder of Goldman
    Sachs investment bank[4]

    Alan
    Greenspan, Chairman and president of Townsend-Greenspan, economic
    consulting firm; former Federal Reserve Chairman[5]

    Michael
    Milken, Financier, Junk-bond specialist[2]

    Ronald
    Perelman, American billionaire investor [6]

    Marc Rich, Oil trading[7]

    Robert
    Rubin, former Treasury Secretary, director of National Economic
    Council, and Chairman of Citigroup[8]

    Samuel
    Sachs, co-founder of Goldman
    Sachs investment bank[9]

    Jacob H.
    Schiff, Wall street banker, leader of Kuhn,
    Loeb & Co.[10]

    George
    Soros, Wall Street investor and foreign currency speculator[2]

    Michael Steinhardt, Wall Street hedge fund manager[2]

    Paul
    Warburg, Chairman of Bank of the Manhattan Company (predecessor of Chase Manhattan Bank), director of the Federal Reserve Bank[11]

    Bruce
    Wasserstein, American investment banker and businessman, CEO of
    Lazard and controller of Wasserstein & Co.[12]

    Sandy
    Weill, former Chairman and CEO of Citigroup[13]

    Hedge funds

    George Soros of Soros Fund
    Management ~ $14b
    John Paulson of Paulson &
    Co ~ $12bCarl Icahn of Icahn Partners ~ $10.5b Jim Simons of RenTec ~ $8.5b Steven Cohen of SAC Capital ~ $6.4b
    Stephen
    Schwarzman of Blackstone Group (BX) ~
    $4.7b
    Daniel, Dirk & Robert Ziff of Och-Ziff ~ $4.0b

    Bruce Kovner of Caxton
    Associates ~ $3.5b Daniel Och of Och-Ziff ~
    $3.3b
    Izzy Englander of Millennium
    Partners ~ $1.7b
    Leon Cooperman of Omega
    Advisors ~ $1.5bPeter Thiel of Clarium
    Capital ~ $1.2bNelson Peltz
    of Trian Partners ~ $1.1b

  184. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 2, 2011 at 7:09 PM

    For starters, I’m not talented nor clever enough.

  185. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 7:24 PM

    Diamond is Irish-American, surprisingly.

  186. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    sound more like you were born on third base and thought you hit a triple

  187. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    speaking if which, where has tax chick been?

  188. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    Lol, sure he is…..He’s got the “look”.

  189. Posted by CapitalistTool | June 2, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    Anal-yst

  190. Posted by InfiniteGuest | June 2, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Most insipid comment thread ever?
    - guy who wouldn’t mind having those 3 minutes of his life back

  191. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    Marcus Goldman, Samuel Sachs, Jacob Schiff and Paul Warburg have one other thing in common: they’re all dead and have been so for a long time. News to me that they’re influential figures in this industry today.

  192. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    Wow. did you get that out of the protocols of the elders of zion?  go back to w va and fuck your sister.

  193. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 8:44 PM

    You’re one to talk about insipid threads and wasted life minutes, asshole. 

  194. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 8:45 PM

    Go drown in a pool of your self righteousness and white guilt. 

  195. Posted by Guessed | June 2, 2011 at 8:53 PM

    Try:

    Hockey = Lacrosse for ugly people

  196. Posted by InfiniteGuest | June 2, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    Oh, sorry, did I hurt your widdwe feewings or are you just having a heavy period today?

  197. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 2, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    touché

  198. Posted by Gusto | June 2, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Speaking from personal experience I see.

  199. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 2, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    @ 3:13pm:

    Agreed.

  200. Posted by Bess Fan | June 2, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    So given the choice between working for an IB or the Navy SEALs, the lesser men choose Vineyard Vines and CNBC over Danner boots and an M4.  Well done. 
    http://blog.usnavyseals.com/2010/03/navy-seal-recruitment-set-sights-on-athletes.html

  201. Posted by guest | June 2, 2011 at 9:47 PM

    Bar tender at a state school. Troubled by fractions until there was money involved.

  202. Posted by Wahoo | June 2, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    Sorry, couldn’t hear you over the 2 championships and scores of girls you couldn’t ever pull whose boxes I’m currently drowning in.

    - UVA ’06 lax bro

  203. Posted by Inquiring mind | June 2, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    Speaking of HJs, where is that guy on the left’s other hand?

  204. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2011 at 10:14 PM

    If I wanted  PTSD I would just go to Beamer’s.

    -”lesser” man

  205. Posted by Jimmy | June 2, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    Why the fuck don’t they drink at Conn?

    - Guy who has been to New London

  206. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 10:43 PM

    You forgot Izzy Mandlebaum of Mandlebaum Global Advisors.

  207. Posted by Guest | June 2, 2011 at 10:46 PM

    Oh yeah?  Well I had sex with your wife!

  208. Posted by Guest1 | June 2, 2011 at 10:48 PM

    Harvard Football, Math AR, Boats (C-), Apes (B-), Chem 20 (A), Ec 10 (A)…..dichotomy. 

  209. Posted by Dotcomlover | June 2, 2011 at 10:49 PM

    CFA, no MBA, Virginia lax team, no wife yet…..

  210. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 2, 2011 at 11:05 PM

    Those were fun days; trying to figure out who was arguing with whom and following three different conversations at once.  

    - not the Nostalgic Dealbreaker guy but a fan of his work

  211. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 3:14 AM

    IIT moved.

  212. Posted by Hugh Givesashit | June 3, 2011 at 3:23 AM

    D-III football honorable mention > 2 D-I lacrosse championships

  213. Posted by guester | June 3, 2011 at 4:48 AM

    Reply to Gusto below:

    I’ll raise with one Ted Kaczynski and and one Snooki.

    Time to fold?  We can do this all week!

  214. Posted by guester | June 3, 2011 at 4:56 AM

    Leininkugel

  215. Posted by Wahoo | June 3, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Fail. Take a lap

  216. Posted by Anonymous | June 3, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    They did when I was there.

    CC ’97

  217. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    wow

  218. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    Economists have had the math worked out on this “phenomenon” for decades Ms. Rivera, its called signalling.

  219. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    No, my feelings weren’t hurt by your tedious offering, though I’m sure Paul Krugman is pissed you plagiarized his 8th grade civics paper. Merely pointing out the hypocrisy of an aspiring Greg Michaels whining about what was in fact a decent thread. 

  220. Posted by InfiniteGuest | June 3, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    Hi again, Mystery Guest!
    I see you & I got off on the wrong foot here, and although we probably can’t patch things up the way we should, it’s great having your opinion. Thanks.
    Obviously something’s bothering you that has nothing to do with me. Why not let it all out here? Maybe I can help you sort it out.

  221. Posted by Guest | June 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    Wall Street = greatest Ponzi scheme ever; entrée to this scheme = ivy league education

  222. Posted by Guest | June 4, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    never have so many[bankers] made soo much creating so little[value]; not that the music has stopped, the U.S. taxpayer is left without chair

  223. Posted by Banker | June 5, 2011 at 5:16 PM

    Gorman is Australian

  224. Posted by Lbc | June 18, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Lauren Rivera succeeded in getting her name known.Now go to JPMorgan, Jefferies, Credit Suisse in NYC, you’ll find lots of bright guys from Colgate, Cornell or anonymous unis but with a CFA title.
    And IBs do hire lots of MITs, because and HBS grad can’t be a quant but an MIT guy can.