Or you can get a replica of this outfit. Your call.
Pop quiz: you’re a hedge fund manager named Philip Falcone. Last year investors got pretty bent out of shape when you loaned yourself $113 million in order to pay personal taxes, from a gated fund. Many of them, including Goldman Sachs and Blackstone, redeemed, and among the ones who stayed, well, they’re still not so happy, on account of the fact that you’ve tied up most of the fund’s money in a side project building walkie-talkies. A bunch of them put in requests to get their money back a couple months ago and you know they’re gonna just fa-reak (like they always do) if they don’t get it but you don’t have the scratch. You’ve been hoping the problem would just go away but it hasn’t and you need to think of something fast! What do you do? Whereas most managers wouldn’t have the foresight, you come up with something so genius you can’t wait to tell everyone about it.
“In light of my high conviction in LightSquared, its size within our portfolio and the necessity of maintaining a controlling position while we join forces with a strategic partner, we have determined to distribute a portion of the withdrawal proceeds for March 31, 2011 withdrawal requests in-kind,” said Falcone in a June 6 letter to investors…”While we have had opportunities to monetize a portion of our LightSquared position in recent months, I feel strongly that any sale by our funds of an interest in LightSquared would have been premature and would not only have jeopardized the ability to join forces with a strategic partner, but also would have limited the substantial upside that I am convinced will come to all of our investors as our plan is executed.”
Oddly, not all investors are thrilled.
“He’s presenting it as ‘Hey, we’re helping you and doing you a favor,’ which is just his way of trying to make it sound like he hasn’t side pocketed. But that’s exactly what this is,” one investor told AR, the ingrate. And apparently there are others out there who agree with him. So fine, they don’t want a piece of this, they don’t have to have it. There’s no cash to be had but if anyone has any other ideas about what could be offered to investors in lieu of actual money, feel free to suggest at this time. And before you even go there, know that the singing and dancing pig no longer does weeknight shows other than his regular gig at the Duplex, so that’s out.
Harbinger Redemptions To Be Paid In Illiquid LightSquared Equity [AR]
For every $100MM per client in redemption requests currently in queue, client will be entitled to one (1) evening with Ms. Lisa Falcone. Ball gag included. Client must provide blackout curtains and/or paper bag if client chooses.
I want to take half a dozen Queens and Trannys and film a reality show using the dresses in the Lady Falcone’s closet. And the booze too.
Reality shows suck until the booze is flowing and the trannys are hurling insults at each other.
Not having enough money at hand to pay redemptions? This kind of event starts with a d and ends with an efault.
I would only accept some kind of deal involving Bess and Lisa.
Lisa & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers
You can always trade LightSquared for some E
that chick is nasty
Hey, I am just here for the roast.
-Guy who will accept partial redemption payment in pork bellies.
Give me your kidney, Falcone!
Bacon?
This tool is lucky he lives in the US.
eddie?
PMCO, same outfit?
PMCO, same outfit?
me + post as… = 2
“I fucked your wife. I fucked her hard Larry”
the underpants picture again? we should have a vote on which lisa marie pic we want up on the tag.
i’m thinking something in red…
the underpants pic again? we should vote on which lisa marie pic we want up on the tag
sorry for the double posts. looks like DB is going back to its old ways before they got $ to upgrade their servers and pay Bess a living wage
How about an iPad?
Can we add a speech bubble of her telling me how I’m not man enough to handle redemptions.
I would certainly shit in her bucket! Yes sirrree!
bro trying to steal my thunder with pmco
trying to steal my pmco infatuation? what is up with that?
Only if you leverge it with mass.
Do we really have to believe his payment in kind is in his investors best interest?If he blindly believes in LS why doesnt he buy for his personal account instead of giving out upside to his clients? An arms length transaction would suggest he at least gives that option for clients who dont want to get caught in the next Global Crossing look alike.
or looks like you suck at posting.
I’ll take the Guccione Mansion.
“Do we really have to believe his payment in kind is in his investors best interest?”
no? and no one does?
Do investors realize that they will also get a signed copy of this month’s Vanity Fair magazine featuring Lisa and Phil? that’s nothing to sneer at.
When do we start seeing Lisa Marie wearing the latest Mossimo and Miley Cyrus garb? That picture will be worth millions.
His right about the conviction part. Just wondering which shareholder’s going to lead him to it…
Take your hand off the mouse when your tugging, you doubled up on Barney Frank too. Sloppy.
A guy shows up at my shop in a chauffeured Rolls Royce with a dark haired woman wearing see through pants and carrying a pig. Shows me a bunch of investment certificates in something with a Star Wars type of name and says that they’ll be worth billions one day. If this checks out those certificates are not leaving my shop!
Rick Harrison
Pawn Stars
Las Vegas, NV
You are far too rational/serious for this site.
Is anyone else curious why Harbinger Group (HRG) hasn’t bought LightSquared?
Is anyone else curious why Harbinger Group (HRG) hasn’t bought LightSquared?
I’d rather get my money back in worthless Mets or Brewers shares. I’m going with Einy.
I’d rather get my money back in worthless Mets or Brewers shares. I’m going with Einy.
or too dense? since we’re already 3 steps ahead of questioning whether or not it should be believed?
or too dense? since we’re already 3 steps ahead of questioning whether or not it should be believed?
So if you’re in the fund, you own only illiquid shares but still have to pay a MGMT fee, and if you redeem, you own the shares w/o the fee. I think I’ll redeem thank you.
So if you’re in the fund, you own only illiquid shares but still have to pay a MGMT fee, and if you redeem, you own the shares w/o the fee. I think I’ll redeem thank you.
Why didn’t I think of this!!!!
Why didn’t I think of this!!!!
Falcone is offering convertible paper in the Rockford Peaches
Falcone is offering convertible paper in the Rockford Peaches
Hell no. I’m more a leather than a lace girl.
Hell no. I’m more a leather than a lace girl.
Can´t wait to see the Vivid Entertainment DVD special
“In Bed with Lisa Maria Falcone”
Can´t wait to see the Vivid Entertainment DVD special
“In Bed with Lisa Maria Falcone”
She looks like a 50 year old crack whore, only well-dressed
I take exception to “well-dressed”.
I take exception to “well-dressed”.
1970′s Linda Lovelace meets 1980′s Johnny Wad
1970′s Linda Lovelace meets 1980′s Johnny Wad
I can’t redeem, because we got no beef.- Harbinger of bankruptcy-related cost-cutting
I can’t redeem, because we got no beef.- Harbinger of bankruptcy-related cost-cutting
Falcone is buying convertible paper in the New York Knights, get it right.
Falcone is buying convertible paper in the New York Knights, get it right.
One night with Lisa, $10,000, one at-bat with Wonderboy, no tears.
One night with Lisa, $10,000, one at-bat with Wonderboy, no tears.
Do the fund of fund “investors” bother to read the LP agreements or would that be too time confusing? If you don’t like the terms, then why did you subscribe?
Do the fund of fund “investors” bother to read the LP agreements or would that be too time confusing? If you don’t like the terms, then why did you subscribe?
I wish they would put her mug back on the Dutch Boy paint cans.
I wish they would put her mug back on the Dutch Boy paint cans.
FTW. FTMFW.
or looks like you suck at posting
Why is every one picking on Philip Falcone? I think he is real straight up honest person.