Part I (emphasis his):

From: [redacted at JPMorgan]
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 1:53 PM
To: All
Subject: REMINDER… TONIGHT ReUnion Bar!
Importance: High

What’s up guys,

So tonight is going to be wild… ReUnion Bar on 17th and Park Ave @ 10pm. A link to view pics of the lounge is below in the original email so check it out the place is really classy. We already have 100+ JPMC interns who accepted the invite, so tonight will be a great opportunity to check out everyone and have an awesome time. Keep spreading the word, keep telling everyone and anyone who is not on this list and who doesn’t work for JPMC. You don’t want to miss out on this, trust me.

If there are 100+ interns from around the area who come and talk to me, this will be a huge every week party at different lounges of choice all free of cover. The bigger the crowd, the more discounted drinks, the more fun for all of us. Also, there will be events Fridays and Saturdays if tonight goes well and you all show interest in it.

ReUnion is not strict on IDs so if you have a fake you will be fine. If you don’t have an ID… get one! Sorry about that, I will push for black ‘X’s’ next time so those without IDs can come hangout, since I want you all to have a great time this summer.


ReUnion Bar on 17th and Park Ave
Free cover
100+ new friends

Don’t miss out! Tell everyone, it’s going to get wild.

AT THE DOOR SAY YOU ARE WITH “InternParties”… see you all tonight at the Pizza Party, and then at ReUnion!

Part II :

From: [redacted at JPMorgan]
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 2:21 PM
To: All
Subject: RE: ROOFTOP CHANGED to ReUnion Bar!

To all,

My apologies for spam, but I have realized this is not the place to use company time to talk about after work events. Although I would like all of you to enjoy your summers, I will be reaching you from my other email, after work hours from now on. In no means did I intend to go against code of conduct, and that was my own fault which will not happen again. I know some of you interns are not 21, so remember to think and be smart and it is 21+ to drink…underage activity is illegal. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your afternoons. See you at the pizza party.

Favorite Parts:
* Importance: High
* Underlining and bolding the section on fake ID’s
* “If you don’t have an ID… get one!”
* “It’s going to get wild”
* “underage activity is illegal”
* “See you at the pizza party”
* Remaining calm and continuing to encourage people to just come out and have fun long after the wheels have come off the whole ‘invite’ thing
* Internally repeating the phrase “this is still salvageable”
* Everything

Note: Do not put this kid’s name in the comments section. It will be deleted and I will hunt you down (and you will not like it)!

Update: and there’s a Part III:

From: [redacted at JPMorgan]
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 3:32 PM
To: All
Subject: Tonight 21+ @ ReUnion


Disregard anything you heard, Tonight is 21+ only… that is, 21+. ReUnion is a classy venue and it will be a great time for us all to hangout. InternParties is hosting this great event. ReUnion is not a pushover bar, I am sorry for the rumors that spread, it is 21+ see you all there, enjoy.

(Not affiliated with InternParties, just trying to get everyone out and having fun)

144 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
Show all comments ↓

Comments (144)

  1. Posted by Guess | June 16, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    wow what a dumbass. i’m sure the ReUnion manager appreciated that “shout out”

  2. Posted by Barteby the Scrivener | June 16, 2011 at 7:34 PM

    “Underage Activity is Illegal”   Who said that, Zuckerberg?

    Also: This his how Chiesi got started with raj, right? 

  3. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    Soveriegn wealth funds are not strict about CDO’s, so if you have a fake you will be fine

  4. Posted by Nosmo King | June 16, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    What’s ReUnion’s policy on concealed handguns?
    – P. Burress

  5. Posted by Joe Francis | June 16, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Wild you say? I’ll be there, young interns.

  6. Posted by Put_Option | June 16, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine

    –  J. Spicoli

  7. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 16, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    How did Epstein get a JPM email account?

  8. Posted by Z. | June 16, 2011 at 7:40 PM


    Munich Re Intern.

  9. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    What happened to interns just icing one another?

  10. Posted by Azzy | June 16, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    This guy needs to be fired. Totally against JPM rules.

  11. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    On a scale of 1-4 Chungs, I can only give a 2.5 for this.

  12. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 7:49 PM

    There goes his career.

  13. Posted by Hamilton | June 16, 2011 at 7:49 PM

    We have a private grill for young JPM interns, and sell sprite in premium bottles!

    – Domino’s 271 Park

  14. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    Bess, sorry but everyone knows the interns name.  Dick Wad

  15. Posted by Also A Guest | June 16, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    Oh come on, JPM is a decent company….

  16. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    Future UBS compliance manager.

  17. Posted by Guy who doesn't get "OUTS" | June 16, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    Will there be someone there to explain these “OUTS” i keep hearing about?

  18. Posted by Texashedge | June 16, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    Well, a I lot of people think interns Mark “Cutback” Davis or Bob “Jungle Death” Gerrard will show up to this party.

  19. Posted by Texashedge | June 16, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    We laugh at this guy, but I’ll probably still show up at ReUnion Bar later.

  20. Posted by Brian1284 | June 16, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    Talk about inviting Buzz Killington to the party.

  21. Posted by lax BRO | June 16, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    come onnn some body give a name… 

  22. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Bess, what happened to you?  You used to be cool…  Why can’t we name and shame the intern? 

  23. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:12 PM

    We request the breech be emptied and all magzines left with our complimentary coat check service.  Thank you.

    —The Management at ReUnion  

  24. Posted by Geezer Trader | June 16, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    Ah, youth…….

  25. Posted by Guester | June 16, 2011 at 8:17 PM

    This guy shows little regard for the law and is clearly untrained regarding the use of email.  In short, he’s got management written all over him. 

  26. Posted by Atlanta JPM Tire Analyst | June 16, 2011 at 8:17 PM

    If you show up with a used tire you get a free set-up.

  27. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    Because just because he’s an idiot doesn’t mean he needs his life and/or future prospects of getting a job completely ruined?

  28. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    I’d like to give a special shout-out to my ReUnion manager.  I love you just like a father.

    – Terrelle Pryor

  29. Posted by LEH Quant | June 16, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    Seriously? What kind of fucking establishment has policies on playing lacrosse? What, do you need to walk in with a mouth-guard?

    -LEH Quant

  30. Posted by Kramer's Caddie | June 16, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    I feel like the pizza party is getting no love in all of this 

  31. Posted by East Texas Gas Trader | June 16, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Mark my words:  That person will wind up trading gas for Energy Transfer.

  32. Posted by Weiner | June 16, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Checking google maps for a Taco Bell location near ReUnion . . .

  33. Posted by J-KWON | June 16, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Teen drinking…is very bad….YO I GOT A FAKE ID THO!

  34. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    At GS these sort of character flaws tend to be caught around interview #20 or #21.  

  35. Posted by Also A Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    Apparently JPM doesn’t follow the DES interview model. No way this guy makes it past “How do I know you’re a genius?”

  36. Posted by Stringer Bell | June 16, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    probably some entitled ass in the PWM group

  37. Posted by Guess | June 16, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    It became even funnier when you identified yourself as a LEH Quant a second time.

  38. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 16, 2011 at 8:31 PM


    No relation, but, is still available.

    -Guy who just saw and was heavily disappointed

  39. Posted by "guest" | June 16, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    At GS you just run out for 20 minutes, do an 8-ball off your hooker’s ass crack, smack her and throw her a few Benjamins, and then you get back to the fucking office and do God’s muthafuckin’ work. None of this lollygagging around at some faggoty intern party where you “get wild” with some Jaegger shots and roll in late the next morning. And THAT is why JP Morgan will always – in the end – kiss my ring and wash my balls.


  40. Posted by Never knew what REDACTED means | June 16, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    This Redacted Guy sounds like a dirty old uncle trying to be cool….

  41. Posted by Also A Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    Pro-Tip: To complete the irony circle you should have signed off with “-Guest”

  42. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    I’ll be tweeting the event!
    -ex-Rep. Anthony W.

  43. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    I thought Union Bar is at 17th and Park, are you telling me there is a ReUnion Bar as well?

  44. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    Meet me at ReUnion.  I’ll be the guy in a crotchless speedo looking for the girls with the black x, or red A. 

  45. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    So am I going to Union bar or Reunion bar tonight? 

  46. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:45 PM

    If you can’t shame him w/o knowing his name, you’re not trying hard enough.

  47. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 8:48 PM

    Really?  I hardly think this would have any long lasting impact on his career (or future prospects of).

  48. Posted by Karl Mozurkewich | June 16, 2011 at 8:48 PM

    JD is not amused.

  49. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 8:50 PM

    because that didn’t already happen within the firm

  50. Posted by S | June 16, 2011 at 8:50 PM

    Wonder what Dimon though while reading it

  51. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    Looks like Union Bar renamed itself ReUnion although given this kid’s apparent level of intellect it is possible he misread an email entitled “Re: Union Bar.”

  52. Posted by Dilbert | June 16, 2011 at 8:52 PM

    I didn’t get a job in finance and had to do a specialty group with a Big 4 accounting firm instead.  Considering this guy beat me in getting that job, I’ve come to the realization that I probably need to kill myself

  53. Posted by Erryday$1milli | June 16, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    Thank you. Died laughing … off to find that 8-Ball..


  54. Posted by AIG Underwriter | June 16, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    Liability insurance premiums too high…

  55. Posted by Anon | June 16, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    I don’t understand the point of this story, unless you’re keen to get a 20-year-old fired from his internship.

  56. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    Chung is still king.

  57. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    To all:

    When you find yourself in situations like this, please use my proprietary Someone-Hacked-My-Account Solution2.0.   I have fine tuned my Someone-Hacked-My-Account Solution1.0 as this version experienced technical difficulties.  Please call to discuss – I have the time.   

    – Weiner

  58. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    I wouldn’t be too upset; he sounds mid-office.

  59. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    Bess, any relation?

  60. Posted by Capsulenuke | June 16, 2011 at 9:07 PM

    I agree with Dilbert…The hiring process must be easy or there is massive nepotism going on!!

  61. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    Sounds like you’re the guy/girl who wrote the memo.

  62. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    Is that you, [redacted]?

  63. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    thanks for your concern. now please leave.

  64. Posted by J to the D | June 16, 2011 at 9:10 PM

     We have realized this is not the place to hire useless interns who use company email for your shoddy promotion gigs. Although I would like to wish you good luck in your future endeavours, we do not have a place for someone of your skillset at JPMorgan from now on, or ever.


  65. Posted by LEH Quant | June 16, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    His name is “Guess,” you fucking idiot. Attention to detail. Etc.

    -LEH Quant

  66. Posted by Nuc | June 16, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    What do the colored wristbands mean again?

  67. Posted by Shut_Up_Canada | June 16, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    Who the hell uses “keen”? 

  68. Posted by Seth Davis | June 16, 2011 at 9:21 PM

    I bet this kid is going to be a massive baller. He has the social skills, needs to work on his confidence a bit though, everyone knows you never wuss out outrageous emails with appologetic corporate banter.

  69. Posted by Same Old Same Old | June 16, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    During the intern’s interview I bet some JPM asshole asked him/her what the square root of 69 is.

  70. Posted by Anon | June 16, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    He refers to JPMorgan Chase as JPMC. Consult the style guide.

  71. Posted by invited but not an intern | June 16, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    The event is now “cancelled” but I think it’s just that– “cancelled.”

  72. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:27 PM

    Underlining and bolding a comment in your email, then apologizing for “rumors” of the content of such underlined and bolded words is the NKI.

  73. Posted by MikeInSF | June 16, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    you know, I thought the memo was pretty funny… freakin stupid but pretty funny… but I’ve come to the realization that the funniest part of this whole thing are the comments! you guys had me rolling on the floor!!

  74. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Anyone who wants to comment about “InternParties” marketing techniques can do so at:

    Just click contact us.

  75. Posted by Mrs. Weiner | June 16, 2011 at 9:41 PM

    Huh, no you wont !


  76. Posted by trojan | June 16, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    Further proof that baseball is superior
    -AIG Risk Mgmt

  77. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 9:46 PM

    By correcting him as “LEH Quant” you completely fucked up the “LEH Quant” joke. Attention to detail, indeed.

    Get your shit together!!

  78. Posted by in love with pmco avatar | June 16, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    peter chung wannabee

  79. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    oh are we making you laugh?  kill yourself.

  80. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    We don’t even card!

    – Benelux Insurance Company (bank subsidiary) general account management team

  81. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Give the kid a break, he slept on a park bench last night

  82. Posted by Breakfastclub | June 16, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Um, excuse me Dick, uh Rich, will milk be made available?  We’re extremely thirsty sir.

  83. Posted by The UK and expats in Asia | June 16, 2011 at 10:37 PM

    We do too, yeah?

  84. Posted by Mike | June 16, 2011 at 10:41 PM

    why is DB picking on a poor intern and screwing up his career.

  85. Posted by Anonymous | June 16, 2011 at 10:49 PM

    You don’t say!  That seemed so in keeping with the “Code of Conduct.”  Thanks for the heads up.

  86. Posted by Bess Lumpkin | June 16, 2011 at 10:52 PM


  87. Posted by CT | June 16, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    that’s some flawless logic you got there, since considering the email went out to hundreds of people at JPM directly and then more after that (and the entire firm, within 10 minutes), whatever was going to happen regardless of it appearing on Dealbreaker.

  88. Posted by SRH | June 16, 2011 at 10:59 PM

    wow, really? 

    1) everyone at JPM (read: his bosses, i.e. the people who could fire him) knew about this prior to it being on DB. if he was going to get fired (which I don’t believe he has), it would’ve happened with or without the post.
    2) does his name appear on this post? if you didn’t work at JPM/see the email, would you be able to identify who he is and “ruin” his career (you seem slow, so the answer is: no).

  89. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    right, because DB draft the “get your fake ID’s email!!!” and then sent it out to all of JPM from this kid’s email address….

    oh, wait.

  90. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 11:17 PM

    DB is picking on the poor intern, but I’m pretty sure he screwed up his own career.

  91. Posted by NO | June 16, 2011 at 11:22 PM

    Joke: Fail.

  92. Posted by Gggg | June 16, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    Interning at JPM and is promoting an intern rager..this is clearly a dead ringer for the Chase debit card kid.

  93. Posted by Dogbert | June 16, 2011 at 11:31 PM


  94. Posted by Guest | June 16, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    you seem to have a broad definition of “picking on”…pretty fucking kind of DB to not use his name and not allow others to name him, meaning that unless you received this email yourself, you’d have no idea who he was.

  95. Posted by Daddy Dimon | June 17, 2011 at 12:20 AM

    I’m not angry, just very disappointed.

  96. Posted by Guy in Lycra Bunny Suit | June 17, 2011 at 12:29 AM

    Bess, while I’d never out this kid, the idea of you hunting me down is titilating to say the least.  I’m at Minetta’s.  Come and get me.  Let’s set it off, baby girl.

  97. Posted by Steven Black | June 17, 2011 at 1:15 AM

    There is no question in my mind that:

    1) This person is gonezo and will made an example of in future code of conduct training


    2) The individuals who stood behind him/her aren’t feeling too good about this

  98. Posted by Tricky | June 17, 2011 at 1:29 AM

    pretty funny. 


  99. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 1:36 AM

    who are the people who “stood behind him/her” in this?

  100. Posted by Gggg | June 17, 2011 at 1:40 AM

    Bess, why do you loathe “LOL” and smilies? Serious question.

  101. Posted by Jamie | June 17, 2011 at 1:55 AM

    I know the person’s name (just made one of the interns give it to me, the name that is), I’ll send it out when I get home from the office

  102. Posted by Finn Alexander | June 17, 2011 at 2:05 AM

    If you wanna be chosen as the next Green Lantern, lasting impact.

  103. Posted by Finn Alexander | June 17, 2011 at 2:13 AM

    Shut up!

    -Newt Gingrich

  104. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 2:26 AM

    Compare Bess posting about the snotty fuckwit with real behavior issues on the train to posting about this misguided fuckwit who just needed guidance.

    Bess is being extremely fair. No complaints.

  105. Posted by DE | June 17, 2011 at 2:30 AM

    yep, couldn’t agree more. I’ll probably get call out as an ass-kisser but I’ve always thought BL’s editorial judgement/fairness/etc is beyond reproach. 

  106. Posted by Dan | June 17, 2011 at 2:31 AM

    I’ll be wearing Stu Nahan’s jacket when I show up with Mick before we jam on down to Australia!

  107. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 2:31 AM

    agreed. if this is “picking on,” cry me a river. (and obviously, yes, the kid did all this himself.)

  108. Posted by JustSayin' | June 17, 2011 at 2:54 AM

    And what’s the point of that? Loser.

  109. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 3:00 AM

    pretty sure the point is that he’s kidding, which is why he signed it “Jamie”

  110. Posted by Packer | June 17, 2011 at 3:09 AM

    Yeah, I got the email too. Back office NOOBS.

  111. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 3:15 AM

    you got the email that every single person at jpm received directly or was forwarded? wow. big time.

  112. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 3:18 AM

    Junior dodged a real bullet though and should definitely send Bess lunch, flowers and a man-servant to clean up after her and deliver DB fleeces.

  113. Posted by DrBombay | June 17, 2011 at 3:50 AM

    This qualifies as news?

  114. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 3:55 AM

    yes. any other brain busters?

  115. Posted by Lsdjf | June 17, 2011 at 3:56 AM

    it qualifies as humor, which is something DB sometimes posts. any other comments, self appointed decider of what ‘qualifies as news’?

  116. Posted by guest | June 17, 2011 at 4:01 AM

    This probably wasn’t even written by an intern.  Probably a first year VP who has lost touch with reality and wants to be buddies with the new kiddies.

  117. Posted by Just the facts | June 17, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Winner.  This comment wins, hands down.  Guest, tip of the cap to you good sir.

  118. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    There was a prequel to Part I — the initial invite–precious as well.

  119. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    That was dumb, haha. I am shocked he got an internship in the first place :))

  120. Posted by Bob23 | June 17, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    sooooooo how was the pizza party? 

  121. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 3:27 PM


  122. Posted by Anonymous | June 17, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    How was it? 

    – Guy who is married.

  123. Posted by Golden Boy | June 17, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Go back to work you pompous knobgobbler.
    You and your mates at Ageas should be out on the street for being a bunch of useless turds.

  124. Posted by Golden Boy | June 17, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    You are clearly not in the bidness.

  125. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    I’m waiting.

  126. Posted by Guest+ | June 17, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    I think point of knocking DB is that a private issue within JPM is easier for bosses of this poor bastard to overlook than one that is now the subject of an article and more than 100 comments; DB do the kid a favor and delete this entire article/comments.

  127. Posted by I'm a dude | June 17, 2011 at 7:28 PM


  128. Posted by GuestGuest | June 17, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    you’re an idiot- he was most certainly dealt with the second the email went out, before the post went up.

  129. Posted by Guest | June 17, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    Much better, even, than a lot of the “serious” news publications that repost her primary work after she breaks a story. 

  130. Posted by I <3 BL | June 17, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    not one person liked this FTW!

  131. Posted by Guest | June 18, 2011 at 1:55 AM

    I appreciate your empathy for the kid, but sorry- at a massive public company like JPM, the second this kid used his corporate email to send out an invite for his fellow interns to get smashed and encouraged people to use fake ID’s, he was done for it. the email went viral within the firm (prior to making it to DB; I work at JPM and got it) and there was no way they were not going to make an example of him. He was going to get the ax with or without the DB story.

  132. Posted by CT | June 18, 2011 at 1:57 AM

    There was no way in HELL the corporate drones in HR were going to overlook this. The kid was toast the second it went out. DB’s post had zero effect either way.

  133. Posted by Shak123 | June 20, 2011 at 7:00 AM

    Jp Morgan is a financial institution that emphasizes integrity and ethical standards that are both moral and legal. We do not in anyway support or tolerate any type of misbehavior that will jeapordize our reputation… Screw it had a tough week… I’ll see you there interns bottoms up!!
    – jamie D

  134. Posted by CDNGuest | June 20, 2011 at 11:58 AM

    18/19 to drink here, and we don’t say “keen” unless drunk, and even then only for money.

  135. Posted by Guest | June 20, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    Bess did him a a favor and protected his identity.

    Life’s a contact sport, champ. No one’s gonna coddle you from here on out.

  136. Posted by streethockey | June 21, 2011 at 7:18 PM

    I am there, baby! Hope to see all my homies from the Institutional Sales and Canadian Dollars there tonight! Shakira, PLEASE wear THAT skirt (you know which one). Free drinks to first three chicks who show me their belly rings.
    That means you, Becky in PR.
    Bobby Rubin

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