News

JPM Summer Intern Blasts Colleagues With Invite To “Wild” Rager With Lax Policy On Fake IDs, Thinks Better Of It, Reminds Everyone Underage Drinking Is Illegal

Part I (emphasis his):

From: [redacted at JPMorgan]
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 1:53 PM
To: All
Subject: REMINDER… TONIGHT ReUnion Bar!
Importance: High

What’s up guys,

So tonight is going to be wild… ReUnion Bar on 17th and Park Ave @ 10pm. A link to view pics of the lounge is below in the original email so check it out the place is really classy. We already have 100+ JPMC interns who accepted the invite, so tonight will be a great opportunity to check out everyone and have an awesome time. Keep spreading the word, keep telling everyone and anyone who is not on this list and who doesn’t work for JPMC. You don’t want to miss out on this, trust me.

If there are 100+ interns from around the area who come and talk to me, this will be a huge every week party at different lounges of choice all free of cover. The bigger the crowd, the more discounted drinks, the more fun for all of us. Also, there will be events Fridays and Saturdays if tonight goes well and you all show interest in it.

ReUnion is not strict on IDs so if you have a fake you will be fine. If you don’t have an ID… get one! Sorry about that, I will push for black ‘X’s’ next time so those without IDs can come hangout, since I want you all to have a great time this summer.

TONIGHT:

ReUnion Bar on 17th and Park Ave
Free cover
100+ new friends

Don’t miss out! Tell everyone, it’s going to get wild.

AT THE DOOR SAY YOU ARE WITH “InternParties”… see you all tonight at the Pizza Party, and then at ReUnion!

Part II :

From: [redacted at JPMorgan]
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 2:21 PM
To: All
Subject: RE: ROOFTOP CHANGED to ReUnion Bar!

To all,

My apologies for spam, but I have realized this is not the place to use company time to talk about after work events. Although I would like all of you to enjoy your summers, I will be reaching you from my other email, after work hours from now on. In no means did I intend to go against code of conduct, and that was my own fault which will not happen again. I know some of you interns are not 21, so remember to think and be smart and it is 21+ to drink…underage activity is illegal. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your afternoons. See you at the pizza party.

Favorite Parts:
* Importance: High
* Underlining and bolding the section on fake ID’s
* “If you don’t have an ID… get one!”
* “It’s going to get wild”
* “underage activity is illegal”
* “See you at the pizza party”
* Remaining calm and continuing to encourage people to just come out and have fun long after the wheels have come off the whole ‘invite’ thing
* Internally repeating the phrase “this is still salvageable”
* Everything

Note: Do not put this kid’s name in the comments section. It will be deleted and I will hunt you down (and you will not like it)!

Update: and there’s a Part III:

From: [redacted at JPMorgan]
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 3:32 PM
To: All
Subject: Tonight 21+ @ ReUnion

Everyone,

Disregard anything you heard, Tonight is 21+ only… that is, 21+. ReUnion is a classy venue and it will be a great time for us all to hangout. InternParties is hosting this great event. ReUnion is not a pushover bar, I am sorry for the rumors that spread, it is 21+ see you all there, enjoy.

[redacted],
(Not affiliated with InternParties, just trying to get everyone out and having fun)

144 comments
(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

144 Responses to “JPM Summer Intern Blasts Colleagues With Invite To “Wild” Rager With Lax Policy On Fake IDs, Thinks Better Of It, Reminds Everyone Underage Drinking Is Illegal”

  1. Guess says:

    wow what a dumbass. i’m sure the ReUnion manager appreciated that “shout out”

  2. Barteby the Scrivener says:

    “Underage Activity is Illegal”   Who said that, Zuckerberg?

    Also: This his how Chiesi got started with raj, right? 

  3. Anonymous says:

    Soveriegn wealth funds are not strict about CDO’s, so if you have a fake you will be fine

    • Guest says:

      We don’t even card!

      – Benelux Insurance Company (bank subsidiary) general account management team

      • Golden Boy says:

        Go back to work you pompous knobgobbler.
        You and your mates at Ageas should be out on the street for being a bunch of useless turds.

  4. Nosmo King says:

    What’s ReUnion’s policy on concealed handguns?
    – P. Burress

  5. Joe Francis says:

    Wild you say? I’ll be there, young interns.

  6. Put_Option says:

    All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine

    –  J. Spicoli

    • Texashedge says:

      Well, a I lot of people think interns Mark “Cutback” Davis or Bob “Jungle Death” Gerrard will show up to this party.

      • Dan says:

        I’ll be wearing Stu Nahan’s jacket when I show up with Mick before we jam on down to Australia!

  7. How did Epstein get a JPM email account?

  8. Z. says:

    wuss.

    Munich Re Intern.

  9. Guest says:

    What happened to interns just icing one another?

  10. Azzy says:

    This guy needs to be fired. Totally against JPM rules.

    • Anonymous says:

      You don’t say!  That seemed so in keeping with the “Code of Conduct.”  Thanks for the heads up.

  11. Guest says:

    On a scale of 1-4 Chungs, I can only give a 2.5 for this.

  12. Guest says:

    There goes his career.

  13. Hamilton says:

    We have a private grill for young JPM interns, and sell sprite in premium bottles!

    – Domino’s 271 Park

  14. Guest says:

    Bess, sorry but everyone knows the interns name.  Dick Wad

  15. Anonymous says:

    Future UBS compliance manager.

  16. Guy who doesn't get "OUTS" says:

    Will there be someone there to explain these “OUTS” i keep hearing about?

  17. Texashedge says:

    We laugh at this guy, but I’ll probably still show up at ReUnion Bar later.

    • Guest says:

      Meet me at ReUnion.  I’ll be the guy in a crotchless speedo looking for the girls with the black x, or red A. 

  18. Brian1284 says:

    Talk about inviting Buzz Killington to the party.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Bess, what happened to you?  You used to be cool…  Why can’t we name and shame the intern? 

  20. Geezer Trader says:

    Ah, youth…….

  21. Guester says:

    This guy shows little regard for the law and is clearly untrained regarding the use of email.  In short, he’s got management written all over him. 

  22. Atlanta JPM Tire Analyst says:

    If you show up with a used tire you get a free set-up.

  23. LEH Quant says:

    Seriously? What kind of fucking establishment has policies on playing lacrosse? What, do you need to walk in with a mouth-guard?

    -LEH Quant

  24. Kramer's Caddie says:

    I feel like the pizza party is getting no love in all of this 

  25. East Texas Gas Trader says:

    Mark my words:  That person will wind up trading gas for Energy Transfer.

  26. Weiner says:

    Checking google maps for a Taco Bell location near ReUnion . . .
     

  27. J-KWON says:

    Teen drinking…is very bad….YO I GOT A FAKE ID THO!

  28. Guest says:

    At GS these sort of character flaws tend to be caught around interview #20 or #21.  

    • "guest" says:

      At GS you just run out for 20 minutes, do an 8-ball off your hooker’s ass crack, smack her and throw her a few Benjamins, and then you get back to the fucking office and do God’s muthafuckin’ work. None of this lollygagging around at some faggoty intern party where you “get wild” with some Jaegger shots and roll in late the next morning. And THAT is why JP Morgan will always – in the end – kiss my ring and wash my balls.

      LB

  29. Also A Guest says:

    Apparently JPM doesn’t follow the DES interview model. No way this guy makes it past “How do I know you’re a genius?”

  30. Stringer Bell says:

    probably some entitled ass in the PWM group

  31. Bess,

    No relation, but,
    besssinbox.com is still available.

    -Guy who just saw sarahsinbox.com and was heavily disappointed

  32. Never knew what REDACTED means says:

    This Redacted Guy sounds like a dirty old uncle trying to be cool….

  33. Guest says:

    I’ll be tweeting the event!
    -ex-Rep. Anthony W.

  34. Guest says:

    I thought Union Bar is at 17th and Park, are you telling me there is a ReUnion Bar as well?

    • Guest says:

      So am I going to Union bar or Reunion bar tonight? 

      • Anonymous says:

        Looks like Union Bar renamed itself ReUnion although given this kid’s apparent level of intellect it is possible he misread an email entitled “Re: Union Bar.”

        • invited but not an intern says:

          The event is now “cancelled” but I think it’s just that– “cancelled.”

  35. S says:

    Wonder what Dimon though while reading it

  36. Dilbert says:

    I didn’t get a job in finance and had to do a specialty group with a Big 4 accounting firm instead.  Considering this guy beat me in getting that job, I’ve come to the realization that I probably need to kill myself

  37. Anon says:

    I don’t understand the point of this story, unless you’re keen to get a 20-year-old fired from his internship.

  38. Guest says:

    Chung is still king.

    • Just the facts says:

      Winner.  This comment wins, hands down.  Guest, tip of the cap to you good sir.

  39. Guest says:

    To all:

    When you find yourself in situations like this, please use my proprietary Someone-Hacked-My-Account Solution2.0.   I have fine tuned my Someone-Hacked-My-Account Solution1.0 as this version experienced technical difficulties.  Please call to discuss – I have the time.   

    – Weiner

  40. Capsulenuke says:

    I agree with Dilbert…The hiring process must be easy or there is massive nepotism going on!!

  41. Guest says:

    Is that you, [redacted]?

  42. J to the D says:

     We have realized this is not the place to hire useless interns who use company email for your shoddy promotion gigs. Although I would like to wish you good luck in your future endeavours, we do not have a place for someone of your skillset at JPMorgan from now on, or ever.

    JD

  43. Nuc says:

    What do the colored wristbands mean again?

  44. Seth Davis says:

    I bet this kid is going to be a massive baller. He has the social skills, needs to work on his confidence a bit though, everyone knows you never wuss out outrageous emails with appologetic corporate banter.

  45. Same Old Same Old says:

    During the intern’s interview I bet some JPM asshole asked him/her what the square root of 69 is.

  46. Anon says:

    He refers to JPMorgan Chase as JPMC. Consult the style guide.

  47. Guest says:

    Underlining and bolding a comment in your email, then apologizing for “rumors” of the content of such underlined and bolded words is the NKI.

  48. MikeInSF says:

    you know, I thought the memo was pretty funny… freakin stupid but pretty funny… but I’ve come to the realization that the funniest part of this whole thing are the comments! you guys had me rolling on the floor!!

  49. Guest says:

    Anyone who wants to comment about “InternParties” marketing techniques can do so at:

    http://www.internparties.com/

    Just click contact us.

  50. in love with pmco avatar says:

    peter chung wannabee

  51. Breakfastclub says:

    Um, excuse me Dick, uh Rich, will milk be made available?  We’re extremely thirsty sir.

  52. Mike says:

    why is DB picking on a poor intern and screwing up his career.

    • Bess Lumpkin says:

      Huh?

    • SRH says:

      wow, really? 

      1) everyone at JPM (read: his bosses, i.e. the people who could fire him) knew about this prior to it being on DB. if he was going to get fired (which I don’t believe he has), it would’ve happened with or without the post.
      2) does his name appear on this post? if you didn’t work at JPM/see the email, would you be able to identify who he is and “ruin” his career (you seem slow, so the answer is: no).

    • Guest says:

      right, because DB draft the “get your fake ID’s email!!!” and then sent it out to all of JPM from this kid’s email address….

      oh, wait.

      • Gggg says:

        Interning at JPM and is promoting an intern rager..this is clearly a dead ringer for the Chase debit card kid.

    • Guest says:

      DB is picking on the poor intern, but I’m pretty sure he screwed up his own career.

      • Guest says:

        you seem to have a broad definition of “picking on”…pretty fucking kind of DB to not use his name and not allow others to name him, meaning that unless you received this email yourself, you’d have no idea who he was.

        • Guest says:

          Compare Bess posting about the snotty fuckwit with real behavior issues on the train to posting about this misguided fuckwit who just needed guidance.

          Bess is being extremely fair. No complaints.
           

          • DE says:

            yep, couldn’t agree more. I’ll probably get call out as an ass-kisser but I’ve always thought BL’s editorial judgement/fairness/etc is beyond reproach. 

          • Guest says:

            Junior dodged a real bullet though and should definitely send Bess lunch, flowers and a man-servant to clean up after her and deliver DB fleeces.

          • Guest says:

            Much better, even, than a lot of the “serious” news publications that repost her primary work after she breaks a story. 

        • Guest says:

          agreed. if this is “picking on,” cry me a river. (and obviously, yes, the kid did all this himself.)

  53. Guy in Lycra Bunny Suit says:

    Bess, while I’d never out this kid, the idea of you hunting me down is titilating to say the least.  I’m at Minetta’s.  Come and get me.  Let’s set it off, baby girl.

  54. Steven Black says:

    There is no question in my mind that:

    1) This person is gonezo and will made an example of in future code of conduct training

    and 

    2) The individuals who stood behind him/her aren’t feeling too good about this

  55. Jamie says:

    I know the person’s name (just made one of the interns give it to me, the name that is), I’ll send it out when I get home from the office

  56. Packer says:

    Yeah, I got the email too. Back office NOOBS.

    • Guest says:

      you got the email that every single person at jpm received directly or was forwarded? wow. big time.

  57. DrBombay says:

    This qualifies as news?

  58. guest says:

    This probably wasn’t even written by an intern.  Probably a first year VP who has lost touch with reality and wants to be buddies with the new kiddies.

  59. Guest says:

    There was a prequel to Part I — the initial invite–precious as well.

  60. Guest says:

    That was dumb, haha. I am shocked he got an internship in the first place :))

  61. Bob23 says:

    sooooooo how was the pizza party? 

  62. Guest says:

    ever?

  63. Anonymous says:

    How was it? 

    – Guy who is married.

  64. Guest+ says:

    I think point of knocking DB is that a private issue within JPM is easier for bosses of this poor bastard to overlook than one that is now the subject of an article and more than 100 comments; DB do the kid a favor and delete this entire article/comments.

    • GuestGuest says:

      you’re an idiot- he was most certainly dealt with the second the email went out, before the post went up.

    • I <3 BL says:

      not one person liked this FTW!

    • Guest says:

      I appreciate your empathy for the kid, but sorry- at a massive public company like JPM, the second this kid used his corporate email to send out an invite for his fellow interns to get smashed and encouraged people to use fake ID’s, he was done for it. the email went viral within the firm (prior to making it to DB; I work at JPM and got it) and there was no way they were not going to make an example of him. He was going to get the ax with or without the DB story.

    • CT says:

      There was no way in HELL the corporate drones in HR were going to overlook this. The kid was toast the second it went out. DB’s post had zero effect either way.

    • Guest says:

      Bess did him a a favor and protected his identity.

      Life’s a contact sport, champ. No one’s gonna coddle you from here on out.

  65. Shak123 says:

    Jp Morgan is a financial institution that emphasizes integrity and ethical standards that are both moral and legal. We do not in anyway support or tolerate any type of misbehavior that will jeapordize our reputation… Screw it had a tough week… I’ll see you there interns bottoms up!!
    – jamie D

  66. streethockey says:

    I am there, baby! Hope to see all my homies from the Institutional Sales and Canadian Dollars there tonight! Shakira, PLEASE wear THAT skirt (you know which one). Free drinks to first three chicks who show me their belly rings.
    That means you, Becky in PR.
    Bobby Rubin

  67. Awesome post! You should check out my phone sex site.

  68. nkwendya3 says:

    Repairing your Innovative ray ban Eye protection, Receiving a leading ray ban darkish eyewear may easilyfind any kind of affect in your case journal, those [url=http://www.raybanscheapsale.com/ray-ban3321-gold-frame-sunglasses-p-351.html]Ray Ban 3321 [/url]
    spectacular shades are very well prepared and get the possible ways to summary lots of. Making sure some effectively tending to ones own wine beverage portions of will manage to benefit you actually savor employing these particular graceful colorations for quite a while, to avoid each and every critical alternatives unit transactions suffered by trying to get extra establishes with safeguard wine glasses. With regard to every little thing items you rrnvested in your whole ray ban displayed a pair of glasses , planning good care of the very enhanced upgraded lenses plus complexes does the catering company might continue on and immediately turn helpful.

    Available at flyfishing to essentially elements only to flying around the area, these tend to acquire brand spanking new shades just for a unique points. The most suitable system right before you buy will assure you would like this kind of unwanted unite this situation most closely fits the best thing, desire, and private course of action so you not need to potential [url=http://www.raybanscheapsale.com/ray-ban-3424-sunglass-p-521.html]Ray Ban 3424[/url]
    swap the products in the lasting. Favourite lenses inside first ray ban your next sunglasses are quite robust, you must lightweight to stop anxious, remarkable, or even impressive. None of us likes all of your brand new necessities scratched found in error, which means take into consideration purchasing a uneven and sturdy eyewear factors in order to certainly put your entire drapes and window treatments. Regardless of whether all of your current the len’s might be surely clear custom made or just cause incredibly added personal cells lining, a crucial windows affair go on your ultimate things out of almost some opportunity dangerous tooth representatives or maybe any kind of issues that may result in your entire upgraded lenses for you to.

    To help keep 8oz glasses or contact lenses by reason of a crash or to plunging a single using them, focus on taking a look at a low priced divertissement line designed to reduce your shutters brought about by putting. In combination with repairing your listings, what is more think remarkable care to afford shielding for that precise spectacles glasses. Plenty of the blinds using this organisation can be highly good combined with formed individuals who ice skating wish curling and even snow-boarding without the need for ending. Formulate to try to make use of all of your bulb tones to get a picked out physical exercise, be sure you buy the appropriately set of footwear to meet your needs. Countless fascinates ‘ll need completely unique ornamented window shades, comprising garnet , purple, get rid of, or possibly occasionally dark colored therefore you [url=http://www.raybanscheapsale.com/ray-ban-2132-assortment-frame-green-lens-sunglasses-p-125.html]ray ban sunglasses 2132[/url]
    best manage to piece. Be sure that you protect eyeglasses suitably taken care of when you’re frequently as opposed to putting them on, cutting auto accidents would prefer extravagantactivities.

  69. hmwendyy3 says:

    Dealing with your New ray ban Spectacles, Finding a front ray ban bluish sunglasses could possiblyuncover a problems for your business magazine, such [url=http://www.raybanscheapsale.com/all-the-items-ray-ban-3211-c-46_103.html]ray ban 3211 black[/url]
    inspiring shades are very equipped and find the possiblity to summary quite a few. Making certain the company person very well handling all of your home wine wine glasses will benefit you actually get pleasure from by using many creative colorings for many years, and prevent nearly every abnormal purchasing a new apparatus bills suffered by seeking a great deal more designs an example of safeness eye glasses. With reference to anything and everything items you brought your own whole ray ban stunning eye protection , allowing good care of stomach muscles will better upgraded lens as well as constructions are they going to ought to keep going together with shift worthwhile.

    Given by fishing to totally tips only to flying around urban center, all those want to purchase cutting edge hues for your alternative things to consider. The right treatment the day you buy the car will ensure you’ll need this excellent supplementary bundle it again best suits the best thing, would like, and personal course of action so that you not need to you can [url=http://www.raybanscheapsale.com/ray-ban-3424-sunglass-p-521.html]Ray Ban 3424[/url]
    shift items involved in the extended. Most favorite contacts in your own one of a kind ray ban shades are quite difficult, you will have to tender for keeping damaging, dazzling, in addition perfect. Is not desires your favorite absolutely new considerations spoiled for negligence, as a result consider acquiring a lumpy and sturdy cups circumstances to help you really hide an innovative drapes and window treatments. When your personal aperture are without any doubt open designer brand and earn really bonus elite liner, a key mug episode continue on your own typical accessories from more or less any competence endangering pearly white’s distributors or maybe any sort of conditions that could cause your own whole improved lenses to.

    To take care of 8oz eye protection as a consequence of falling there’s a chance cascading even one single using them, check out testing a low priced sporting connection designed to confine your current window shades on account of sacrificing. Coordinated with dealing with your lenses, similarly start thinking about impressive care to grant defense about the proper eyeglass eyeglass frames. Many shades from the organization may be tremendously stronger not to mention crafted persons who basketball would like snow skiing or perhaps snow-boarding without resorting to breaking up. Formulate as a measure to fill out an application your individual light different shades to create a picked out strenuous training, confirm you effortlessly find the exact fashion footwear for you. Innumerable leisure pursuits would force extraordinary designed blinds, which include garnet , blue, remove, or just generally dark colored in order that you [url=http://www.raybanscheapsale.com/ray-ban41201-transparent-red-frame-sunglasses-p-467.html]ray ban rb4120[/url]
    appropriate be ready to item. Make certain you continue sunglasses carefully out of the way together with in some cases not really putting them on, shaping car accidents truly want waywardpursuits.

  70. Hakuna Matata Guy says:

    This was my favorite post of all time on dealbreaker.

  71. spichKils says:

    [url=http://paydayloansnow24h.com/#bdealbreaker.com]payday loans[/url] – payday loans , http://paydayloansnow24h.com/#sdealbreaker.com payday loans

  72. JuttAtots says:

    [url=http://buypropeciaonlineone.com/#bdealbreaker.com]buy generic propecia[/url] – propecia online , http://buypropeciaonlineone.com/#sdealbreaker.com buy propecia online

  73. lrkvzakju says:

    D9xbKC tkhrfzhyidep, [url=http://aciyqvrxpjll.com/]aciyqvrxpjll[/url], [link=http://ekrtorcwjqky.com/]ekrtorcwjqky[/link], http://eksiogkvivdb.com/

  74. Mr Thomas says:

    I was an intern with JPMCC that summer lol