Apparently Credit Suisse will cut “several hundred jobs” in the investment bank, with the layoffs taking place in the US and Switzerland. It’s unclear when the Swiss plan to go ahead with the axings, though presumably it’ll be at some point in the next week or so. [Bloomberg via BI]
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Getting laid = good
Getting off = good
Getting laid off = bad
-Guy who had chicken and waffles for breakfast and is confused by this
Do humanity a favor and slap anyone you see from Boston in the face.
Who said “you can’t predict spanish inquisition?”
This is sad news.. layoffs are happenning again… I saw friends through the last one .. really tough .. I want to but cant think of anything sarcastic to say.. many will lose jobs again having barely made it back in
I don’t understand why people, newly minted MBAs, four year in (career bankers), not to mention the hundreds if not thousands of deadwood “directors” and clientless “managing directors” don’t just face up to the reality of it- things changed people.
The financial industry is still ‘shrinking’, get that, contracting. In other words, go learn to do something else. It’s America damn it. You have a great education and a social net that is the envy of the world. Go re-tool, you tools. Tough love, but love nonetheless.
Mont Blanc
The only MD’s that have nothing to fear are the medical doctors.
Seriously, no job is guaranteed anymore. Growing up, everyone said engineers would never be laid off….
Nobody…
It’s: “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.”
Our chief weapon is surprise…
-Michael Palin
Two whites do a wong
-Vivid
I got no place else to go!
-Zack Mayo
From my days in the army: “Look to your left, look to your right. One of those men will not be here in ten days.”
Shoot the Glass!
Human Resources
Credit Suisse
Life already has…
Don’t you have some TPS reports to collate?
It slices, and dices and makes french fries in 3 different sizes!
_________________
Guy who didn’t watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3000 times.
From my days in the navy: “No glove, no love”
Or laid at all, for that matter…
The thing is– and this is what is happening at UBS, CS, BarCap, etc– you might have a great book of clients and be making money for the firm, yet some gnome sitting in a cave under an Alp decided to axe your entire division because it’s not meeting some bizarre internal ROE measure– i.e. they figure it’s easier to can some Americans nobody knows than a bunch of unionized clerical employees in Innsbruck or Pavia. That’s when it sucks: when you’re actually busy and productive yet still wind up being RIF’d.
how ’bout “Bye”
Too true.
And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit.
And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then….
I’ll set the building on fire…
TPS reports are a thing of the past. I’ve been promoted to creative writer at J. Peterman Catalog.
-Eddie Sherman
From my days in the Chelsea Army: Never go A$$ to Mouth
“I been to a lot of funerals. Folded the flag, and given it to a lot of wives and fathers and kids. And I told them how sorry I was. But that’s never really what I was feeling. In the back of my mind, I was always saying, ‘Better them, then me.’ But I don’t believe that now. Because now I realize that there are some things worse then death, and one of them is sitting here, waiting to die.” - Sgt. Hall
For one day, and one day only…UBS doesn’t suck as much
-”So, you laid off Milton?”
-”No, we just… fixed the glitch”
Questionable. No need to fire people when everyone’s running for the exits and you can’t hire anyone.
Only the dead know the end to war.
agreed
how do I get a gig in Innsbruck?
They’re keeping out of the Layoffs thread. They may have turned the corner.
Not surprising, cuts everywhere. I am just glad some of the douchiest fuckers are gonna get the axe too….BofaMerrill too around July 4….equities, derivs, cbs…oh well…they’ll start falafal stands…dbs and guidos