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Layoffs Watch ’11: Goldman Sachs

Cuts have apparently begun at the House of Lloyd.

Layoffs are said to be going down circa now at Goldman, so far affecting operations but expected to “impact other areas” and exceed the yearly axing of the bottom 5% of the group.

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53 Responses to “Layoffs Watch ’11: Goldman Sachs”

  1. AmericanBandersnatch says:

    Matthew 5:30

    “And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”

  2. Anonymous says:

    The best part of getting laid off in the morning is you and your fallen co-workers can go to lunch, still wearing your suits, and get absolutely shit-faced before noon.  And for that hour or two, every patron that sees you will think you are a BSD who plays at a different level.

  3. Guest says:

    Lloyd:

    Goyem only, right?

    The Tribal Council

    • Guest says:

      I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you say shit like this, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get angry, and whe I get angry, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that’s when motherfuckers accidentally get shot!

      David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz

  4. Brian1284 says:

    Operations definitely bring down the bottom line.  Fund accountants are grossly overpaid.  Trades will now be flowing thru mumbai.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yeah, have fun with that…

      -Former JPM (ex-BSC) employee who experienced having security master setup outsourced to Hyderbad

      • Lewis Winthorpe III says:

        Perma, where you at these days? Can you say? I’m not being facetious, just curious.

        -Current JPM/ex-BSC employee who is watching his office slowly/quickly get shipped to Bangalore

  5. Shake Shack Grillmaster says:

    Please note if you received your pink slip today your pass for the “Goldman Grill” at Shake Shack is revoked as well, we have been CC’ed on the email to HR. Welcome to the land of the common people, line forms here

  6. Bloyd Llandfein says:

    Just polishing the scrod

  7. GSer says:

    And a new crop of “Fabrice Tourre Under The Bus” Award-winners is born. 

  8. Ops says:

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  9. Ops says:

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  10. Jenn says:

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  11. Jenn says:

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  12. B2B MD says:

    So Jamie is hanging out in the Parthenon (as Greek Gods often do) when he bumps into Lloyd:

    Jamie:  “Lloyd, a little further west from your normal godly perch, what gives?
    Lloyd:  “Ah, the whole hezzbolah thing has be a little bummed.  Just came to see how the Greeks were handling the austerity”
    Jamie:  “Holy Sh!t, duck Lloyd, ..they’re throwing bombs around…ain’t takin’ it too well.
    Lloyd:  ” Thats nothing, wait ’till the layoffs hit GS, they’ll be burning bushes in the Hamptons”

  13. Richard Cripples says:

    It actually takes about 3-4 days to be officially “let go” from Goldman.  There are 21 separate exit interviews, each with a different focus.  The overall process is based on the 7 Stages of Grief; it is rumored that in the final exit interview you have to willingly lay your blackberry upon the interviewer’s desk and repeat outloud “I am no longer doing God’s work” until you can say it without your eyes watering or your voice cracking.  They are pretty thorough.

  14. AIG Quant says:

    Hey – we’re hiring!

  15. Brooklyn Bully says:

    This sucks, bank traders returns are absolutely crap without unlimited capital. How will these guys make a living trading?

  16. Confused Candidate says:

    On my 76th interview I was laid off!

  17. guest says:

    Nobody works at Goldman anymore, they’ve got too many employees

    – Yogi B

  18. duder says:

    This aggression will not stand, man

  19. Guest says:

    I thought they were shutting down a line to save on costs– that they were getting rid of the complaince dept.

  20. rymu says:

    Operations @ GS is FINE!

    -Jim Cramer

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