Cuts have apparently begun at the House of Lloyd.
Layoffs are said to be going down circa now at Goldman, so far affecting operations but expected to “impact other areas” and exceed the yearly axing of the bottom 5% of the group.
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Matthew 5:30
“And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”
The best part of getting laid off in the morning is you and your fallen co-workers can go to lunch, still wearing your suits, and get absolutely shit-faced before noon. And for that hour or two, every patron that sees you will think you are a BSD who plays at a different level.
Lloyd:
Goyem only, right?
The Tribal Council
Operations definitely bring down the bottom line. Fund accountants are grossly overpaid. Trades will now be flowing thru mumbai.
Tyrone Biggums 1:13
“Let he who is without sin cast the first rock… and I shall smoketh it.”
Please note if you received your pink slip today your pass for the “Goldman Grill” at Shake Shack is revoked as well, we have been CC’ed on the email to HR. Welcome to the land of the common people, line forms here
Just polishing the scrod
And a new crop of “Fabrice Tourre Under The Bus” Award-winners is born.
that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.
that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.
Is that the King James Version?
that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.
that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.
So Jamie is hanging out in the Parthenon (as Greek Gods often do) when he bumps into Lloyd:
Jamie: “Lloyd, a little further west from your normal godly perch, what gives?
Lloyd: “Ah, the whole hezzbolah thing has be a little bummed. Just came to see how the Greeks were handling the austerity”
Jamie: “Holy Sh!t, duck Lloyd, ..they’re throwing bombs around…ain’t takin’ it too well.
Lloyd: ” Thats nothing, wait ’till the layoffs hit GS, they’ll be burning bushes in the Hamptons”
It actually takes about 3-4 days to be officially “let go” from Goldman. There are 21 separate exit interviews, each with a different focus. The overall process is based on the 7 Stages of Grief; it is rumored that in the final exit interview you have to willingly lay your blackberry upon the interviewer’s desk and repeat outloud ”I am no longer doing God’s work” until you can say it without your eyes watering or your voice cracking. They are pretty thorough.
Not if I deny you entry to the special line.
You rang?
you should start packing up for quadruple-posting
Right, thats the first thing that enters my mind upon entering a bar downtown for lunch and see a group of shit-faced op’s people.
You only have to click the post button once Lloyd.
Everyone looks like a BSD until the check comes…
Can I like this post a hundred time?
I am taking my GS talents to the unemployment line.
That’s not funny!
- Jim Chanos
Well played. POTY material right there. [golf clap]
Hey – we’re hiring!
- Ezekiel 25:17 (apocrypha)
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men, & etc.
This sucks, bank traders returns are absolutely crap without unlimited capital. How will these guys make a living trading?
They really are doing God’s work just not the Judeo Christian god you think of. Hey, they never said which God.
Yeah, have fun with that…
-Former JPM (ex-BSC) employee who experienced having security master setup outsourced to Hyderbad
On my 76th interview I was laid off!
Stop by the Shake Shack line first
Then you and your golden scrot have a visit with the GS resident assayer for your “rendering.”
That’s not funny!
- Anyone who can read
Nobody works at Goldman anymore, they’ve got too many employees
- Yogi B
ops.
For future reference, try this.
-NOP’s alter-ego
AIG sucks
How do you polish a fish?
It’s pretty good, but it still loses out to the Penn Station Taco Bell post. In fact, it’s not even close.
This aggression will not stand, man
Ryby.
I thought they were shutting down a line to save on costs– that they were getting rid of the complaince dept.
No worries, it was the Urban Achievers that got the ax.
Isn’t “scrod” the past pluperfect tense of “screwed”?
There is nothing BSD about getting canned in Jersey City. Sorry dude.
Probably the Rick James version
I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you say shit like this, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get angry, and whe I get angry, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that’s when motherfuckers accidentally get shot!
David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz
Operations @ GS is FINE!
-Jim Cramer
UBS is hiring.
I know you said you only wanted a thousand but it wasn’t going through!
-Former GS Ops
Truer words have never been spoken.
Perma, where you at these days? Can you say? I’m not being facetious, just curious.
-Current JPM/ex-BSC employee who is watching his office slowly/quickly get shipped to Bangalore