• 29 Jun 2011 at 10:15 AM

Layoffs Watch ’11: Goldman Sachs

By

Cuts have apparently begun at the House of Lloyd.

Layoffs are said to be going down circa now at Goldman, so far affecting operations but expected to “impact other areas” and exceed the yearly axing of the bottom 5% of the group.

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Comments (53)

  1. 1
    Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 29, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    Matthew 5:30

    “And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”

  2. 2
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    The best part of getting laid off in the morning is you and your fallen co-workers can go to lunch, still wearing your suits, and get absolutely shit-faced before noon.  And for that hour or two, every patron that sees you will think you are a BSD who plays at a different level.

  3. 3
    Posted by Guest | June 29, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Lloyd:

    Goyem only, right?

    The Tribal Council

  4. 4
    Posted by Brian1284 | June 29, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    Operations definitely bring down the bottom line.  Fund accountants are grossly overpaid.  Trades will now be flowing thru mumbai.

  5. 5
    Posted by Rev. Chappelle | June 29, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    Tyrone Biggums 1:13

    “Let he who is without sin cast the first rock… and I shall smoketh it.”

  6. 6
    Posted by Shake Shack Grillmaster | June 29, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    Please note if you received your pink slip today your pass for the “Goldman Grill” at Shake Shack is revoked as well, we have been CC’ed on the email to HR. Welcome to the land of the common people, line forms here

  7. 7
    Posted by Bloyd Llandfein | June 29, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    Just polishing the scrod

  8. 8
    Posted by GSer | June 29, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    And a new crop of “Fabrice Tourre Under The Bus” Award-winners is born. 

  9. 9
    Posted by Ops | June 29, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  10. 10
    Posted by Ops | June 29, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  11. 11
    Posted by AmericanBandersnatch | June 29, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Is that the King James Version?

  12. 12
    Posted by Jenn | June 29, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  13. 13
    Posted by Jenn | June 29, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    that’s odd. i’m not seeing anyone packing up.

  14. 14
    Posted by B2B MD | June 29, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    So Jamie is hanging out in the Parthenon (as Greek Gods often do) when he bumps into Lloyd:

    Jamie:  “Lloyd, a little further west from your normal godly perch, what gives?
    Lloyd:  “Ah, the whole hezzbolah thing has be a little bummed.  Just came to see how the Greeks were handling the austerity”
    Jamie:  “Holy Sh!t, duck Lloyd, ..they’re throwing bombs around…ain’t takin’ it too well.
    Lloyd:  ” Thats nothing, wait ’till the layoffs hit GS, they’ll be burning bushes in the Hamptons”

  15. 15
    Posted by Richard Cripples | June 29, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    It actually takes about 3-4 days to be officially “let go” from Goldman.  There are 21 separate exit interviews, each with a different focus.  The overall process is based on the 7 Stages of Grief; it is rumored that in the final exit interview you have to willingly lay your blackberry upon the interviewer’s desk and repeat outloud ”I am no longer doing God’s work” until you can say it without your eyes watering or your voice cracking.  They are pretty thorough.

  16. 16
    Posted by Shake Shack Grillmaster | June 29, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    Not if I deny you entry to the special line.

  17. 17
    Posted by LeBron | June 29, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    You rang?

  18. 18
    Posted by danker_banker | June 29, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    you should start packing up for quadruple-posting

  19. 19
    Posted by Bac Koffice | June 29, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Right, thats the first thing that enters my mind upon entering a bar downtown for lunch and see a group of shit-faced op’s people. 

  20. 20
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    You only have to click the post button once Lloyd.

  21. 21
    Posted by The Observer | June 29, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    Everyone looks like a BSD until the check comes…

  22. 22
    Posted by Mtk18 | June 29, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    Can I like this post a hundred time?

  23. 23
    Posted by Brian1284 | June 29, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    I am taking my GS talents to the unemployment line. 

  24. 24
    Posted by Guest | June 29, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    That’s not funny!

    - Jim Chanos

  25. 25
    Posted by Also A Guest | June 29, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    Well played. POTY material right there. [golf clap]

  26. 26
    Posted by AIG Quant | June 29, 2011 at 3:23 PM

    Hey – we’re hiring!

  27. 27
    Posted by early hominid | June 29, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    - Ezekiel 25:17 (apocrypha)

    The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men, & etc.

  28. 28
    Posted by Brooklyn Bully | June 29, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    This sucks, bank traders returns are absolutely crap without unlimited capital. How will these guys make a living trading?

  29. 29
    Posted by Brooklyn Bully | June 29, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    They really are doing God’s work just not the Judeo Christian god you think of. Hey, they never said which God.

  30. 30
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    Yeah, have fun with that…

    -Former JPM (ex-BSC) employee who experienced having security master setup outsourced to Hyderbad

  31. 31
    Posted by Confused Candidate | June 29, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    On my 76th interview I was laid off!

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | June 29, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    Stop by the Shake Shack line first

  33. 33
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Then you and your golden scrot have a visit with the GS resident assayer for your “rendering.”

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | June 29, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    That’s not funny!

    - Anyone who can read

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | June 29, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    Nobody works at Goldman anymore, they’ve got too many employees

    - Yogi B

  36. 36
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    ops.

  37. 37
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    For future reference, try this.

    -NOP’s alter-ego

  38. 38
    Posted by Harris | June 29, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    AIG sucks

  39. 39
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    How do you polish a fish?

  40. 40
    Posted by Post Adjudicimator | June 29, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    It’s pretty good, but it still loses out to the Penn Station Taco Bell post.  In fact, it’s not even close.

  41. 41
    Posted by duder | June 29, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    This aggression will not stand, man

  42. 42
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    Ryby.

  43. 43
    Posted by Guest | June 29, 2011 at 5:50 PM

    I thought they were shutting down a line to save on costs– that they were getting rid of the complaince dept.

  44. 44
    Posted by Anonymous | June 29, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    No worries, it was the Urban Achievers that got the ax.

  45. 45
    Posted by DE Shaw Genius & Cabdriver Now | June 29, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    Isn’t “scrod” the past pluperfect tense of “screwed”?

  46. 46
    Posted by Ray Finkle | June 29, 2011 at 6:46 PM

    There is nothing BSD about getting canned in Jersey City.  Sorry dude.

  47. 47
    Posted by Mullerm26 | June 29, 2011 at 7:18 PM

    Probably the Rick James version

  48. 48
    Posted by Guest | June 29, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you say shit like this, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get angry, and whe I get angry, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that’s when motherfuckers accidentally get shot!

    David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz

  49. 49
    Posted by rymu | June 29, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    Operations @ GS is FINE!

    -Jim Cramer

  50. 50
    Posted by Guest | June 29, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    UBS is hiring.

  51. 51
    Posted by Guest | June 29, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    I know you said you only wanted a thousand but it wasn’t going through!

    -Former GS Ops

  52. 52
    Posted by Brooklyn Ops | June 29, 2011 at 10:40 PM

    Truer words have never been spoken.

  53. 53
    Posted by Lewis Winthorpe III | June 29, 2011 at 10:46 PM

    Perma, where you at these days? Can you say? I’m not being facetious, just curious.

    -Current JPM/ex-BSC employee who is watching his office slowly/quickly get shipped to Bangalore

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