Or with that guy in the cafeteria who’d “love to hear more” while you wait on line for your frittatas.
Memo to employees at big Wall Street banks and securities firms: Be careful what you say on the elevator. You might be surrounded by regulators…Much like reporters assigned to a military unit during war, these regulatory “embeds” get unprecedented access to financial firms such as Bank of America Corp., Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and Morgan Stanley. They file through the same security turnstiles, eat lunch at the company cafeteria and press top executives for answers to questions about mortgage-documentation procedures and exposure to European debt and municipal bonds…About 150 such regulators are scattered across banks and securities firms overseen by the New York Fed. That total will double by this fall, according to a person familiar with the situation.
These guys will stick out like sore thumbs, much like the SEC “embeds”. RED FLAG – They will be asking the IT department to unblock the porn websites and decline to list the “business justification” for doing so
Just look for the 40 year old guy not wearing Ferragamo loafs
How do you tell them about from back-office then?
I was told that a giant energy company in Houston has had regulators on their trading floor for years.
I’m not a Pro but do you have some semi-professional or plain amateur tips?
How to spot an SEC regulator at UBS…He’s the best dressed one there
All your cafeterias are belong to us.
-The Beard
P.S. Also do not talk to random horticulture arrangements as well.
I will happily talk about insider trading in front of a regulator for a chicken wrap from 388. Best damn thing about that company!
SEC Regulator: I was jacking it on the telephone.
Archer: Does Internet porn know you were cheating on it?
Don’t ask for a sack of lobsters in the lift – dead give away.
In the Queens English: Lift = Elevator.
His lone BMW in the parking garage full of Civics?
shut up and eat your oatmeal
-The Bald
In the Queens English: Sack of lobsters = a hand job
I feel like the regulators have been far less effective since Nate Dogg died.
Back office looks dour, while regulators have a look of infinite sadness that permeates their being
Accords! for christ’s sake this isn’t RBS
-UBS MD, chief rainmaker at Beamers, and a proud owner of a certified pre-owned 2009 Honda Accord, with moon roof
I don’t get this, but I really want to, please elaborate
-guy who incorporates archer quotes into dialogue on a daily basis
Ooooooo!!! Is yours the V6 with the “gold” badging???
-”ambitious” UBS Assoc. hoping to upgrade his civic.
Perhaps I might come in “handy” in this situation.
Drilling down into the comment we see that Covered Long’s bon mot pertained to mobile computing and alleged self abuse by SEC staff relative to in office self abuse practices. Where as in prior months’ stories of SEC staffer “in office” viewing of and perhaps unbridled fapping to some lurid forms of pornography made headlines, the quote above references to the advent of mobile computing and its resultant ability to provide visual masturbatic suggestion from ones phone. In the comments above, Covered Long repeats a verbal exchange suggesting that a wired internet connection might be jealous of a wireless instrument providing the same sort of masturbatory pleasures. In essence, Covered Long inferred that a wired machine would be jealous of a wireless machine’s (a smart phone) time with a SEC staffer as if they were humanized in some way¹. Such a reference boggles the mind as brain synapses fire off in amazing frenzy trying to quant the mixed references relative to reality which, in turn, releases “humorous” or “funny” brain chemicals that relax the conflicting neurons and create guffaws, snorts, giggles, “spit takes”, chortles and snickers.
Further, with the advent of digital mobile masturbation², some forms of wireless fapping material can be accessed without going through a firm’s firewalls in house. That creates a condition new to SEC and various financial firms that must be addressed in HR meetings on the availability of “jacking” material via wireless connections³.
I hope that helped.
-The Joke Briefer
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1. Perceived, Personal Economic Benefits of Self Abuse Relative to the Context of “Dating” in the Study of Toulene Traders in Houston from 1998 to 2006, Dr. Jack Mahogoff, Texas A&M Press, page 176.
2. Update on New Theories Resulting from Blacklight DNA Analysis of Increasing Cohort of “Found” Overcoats on Metro North – 2010, ”Fapp” Johnson, PhD, Rubbout Press, page 447.
3. Apple’s New ‘IJack’ – A New Meaning Among Financial Workers?”, Center for Lotion Studies, Summer 2010, Tissue Press, page 559-617
Ask your mother to taste their cocks.
Not sure if racist
it’s not.
Impressive Joke Briefer, appreciate the law school answer…(and I know you went to law school and clearly not a banker, not because of the articulate answer but more due to you’re lack of attention to detail)…the second part of the joke and clearly what I was referring to is:
My question was more about the Archer reference
can I still brag about bagging Short Skirt Girl From Five Towns Who Works in Accounting?
TJB gives you filet mignon and you whine “but I wanted hammmmburger,” well here’s your goddamned ground chuck, you philistine.
Archer reference: Cyril (sp?) was involved in some accounting fraud or something of that nature and tried to cover his absence from an important meeting and strangely being on the phone when Archer walked into his office with phone sex, humorously implying that that would be the less embarrassing of the two conclusions Archer could draw.
“You’re” lack …
keep fucking that chicken!