• 03 Jun 2011 at 3:21 PM

SAC Capital Up 9%, Beating Investors Off With A Stick

So suck it Chuck Grassley, Fred Wilpon, anonymous asshole, Fred Wilpon, Kim Kardashian, Fred Wilpon, the 3rd grade teacher who wrote that “Little Stevie doesn’t apply himself,” Fred Wilpon, the cocksuckers at the Norwalk Wendy’s who despite instructions to leave the tomato off of his grilled chicken sandwich still throw one on there every single time, Fred Wilpon, Biovail, Fred Wilpon, the other, much less important Steve Cohen who fucks up his Google Alerts, Fred Wilpon.

The Stamford, Conn.-based hedge fund giant, currently the subject of at least four insider-trading investigations, continues to roar along in spite of those travails. SAC’s flagship hedge fund is up 9% this year through May. And investors continue to flock to the firm, pouring $250 million into its main fund this year.

That inflow, which does not include money invested by firm founder Steven Cohen or other SAC employees, has pushed SAC’s assets up by about $2 billion this year, to $14 billion. It also has the firm mulling a stop to them: SAC told clients last month that it might close the fund to new investments.

SAC Up 9%, Takes In $250M Through May [FINalternatives]

158 comments (hidden for your protection)
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Comments (158)

  1. Posted by LEH Quant | June 3, 2011 at 7:29 PM

    The other Steve Cohen is a magician, Bess. You don’t need to be such a jerk. Respect the craft.

    -LEH Quant (Magician’s Apprentice/Balloon Guy on Weekends at Lucky Cheng’s)

  2. Posted by Anonymous | June 3, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    I put in the wrong link- I meant Steve Cohen the Congressman who’s all over the internet. (As documented on these pages, SC loves magician SC.)

  3. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    Very impressive specially after so many of his insiders, I mean Alpha Advisors went down with Raj.

  4. Posted by Mike Hunt Hurts | June 3, 2011 at 7:53 PM

     Humpty Dumpty sat on a desk….

  5. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 3, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    One month, particularly May, means nothing. 

    -White House Quant

  6. Posted by guest | June 3, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    what rate do the feds accrue interest at when they freeze the assets for investors in the fund? 

  7. Posted by Stevie's 3rd Grade Teacher | June 3, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    I never said “Little Stevie doesn’t apply himself” but rather “Little Stevie won’t stop playing with himself and stealing other students lunches”

  8. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    Everything from Stamford sucks, there more things in CT than UBS and SAC

  9. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 3, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Whatever rate they fucking want. 

  10. Posted by in love with pmco avatar | June 3, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    bro take a chill pill, and mellow out on bess

  11. Posted by Curious | June 3, 2011 at 8:13 PM

    Go on…

  12. Posted by CT | June 3, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    Hi my name is humor, middle name sarcasm last name obvious making a fucking joke, have we met?

  13. Posted by CT | June 3, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    pretty sure BL/DB/everyone here is well aware of that, considering other points of interest in CT are regularly discussed (Bridgewater, Beamers, AQR etc etc etc) but please, continue with your bizarre bitching about too much SAC coverage.

  14. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Thank you!

    -CT board of tourism

  15. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 3, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    Somewhere SC is sitting in a leather chair, watching Back Door Palestinian Bitches IV, rubbing his nipples, and singing out loud to Bulletproof while thinking to himself, “Bitches Don’t Know About My Bulletproof Fleece.”

    Fucking perv.

  16. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 3, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    Probably on LAX team. 

  17. Posted by Guest | June 3, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    “Everything from Stamford sucks”

    You’re god damn right we do!

    -Gianna B.

  18. Posted by LEH Quant | June 3, 2011 at 8:30 PM

    Oh yeah, dick head? How would they fit “Obvious Making A Fucking Joke” on the back of his jersey?

  19. Posted by #REFeree | June 3, 2011 at 8:32 PM

    12% cash 2% PIK toggle.  Just like my Bonobos.

  20. Posted by addicted to details | June 3, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    which Wendy’s?  the one on rte 123 or the post road location?  there’s cocksuckers at both.

  21. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | June 3, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    “UBS”, dumbass.

  22. Posted by Randy Marsh | June 3, 2011 at 8:42 PM

    I am fucking a 7 layer burrito right now like today was the last day on earth!

  23. Posted by Anonymous | June 3, 2011 at 8:52 PM

    Post Road.

  24. Posted by Anonymous | June 3, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    Tea —–> monitor. Pls bring a box of tissues to my office.
    xoxo

  25. Posted by lynn tilton | June 3, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    When I want investors to go away I make them beat me off instead

  26. Posted by Weisenhymer | June 3, 2011 at 9:27 PM

    Where? I re-read the article and did not see it posted.

  27. Posted by Anonymous | June 3, 2011 at 9:39 PM

    GE Capital?

  28. Posted by Guest | June 4, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    Never been to Stamford, but I know people who quit their jobs at UBS there, cause livin in that area turned them depressive

  29. Posted by BBH | June 5, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    my friends Jeff and John from Westport are both dickheads

    BBH

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