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SAC Capital Up 9%, Beating Investors Off With A Stick

So suck it Chuck Grassley, Fred Wilpon, anonymous asshole, Fred Wilpon, Kim Kardashian, Fred Wilpon, the 3rd grade teacher who wrote that “Little Stevie doesn’t apply himself,” Fred Wilpon, the cocksuckers at the Norwalk Wendy’s who despite instructions to leave the tomato off of his grilled chicken sandwich still throw one on there every single time, Fred Wilpon, Biovail, Fred Wilpon, the other, much less important Steve Cohen who fucks up his Google Alerts, Fred Wilpon.

The Stamford, Conn.-based hedge fund giant, currently the subject of at least four insider-trading investigations, continues to roar along in spite of those travails. SAC’s flagship hedge fund is up 9% this year through May. And investors continue to flock to the firm, pouring $250 million into its main fund this year.

That inflow, which does not include money invested by firm founder Steven Cohen or other SAC employees, has pushed SAC’s assets up by about $2 billion this year, to $14 billion. It also has the firm mulling a stop to them: SAC told clients last month that it might close the fund to new investments.

SAC Up 9%, Takes In $250M Through May [FINalternatives]

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158 Responses to “SAC Capital Up 9%, Beating Investors Off With A Stick”

  1. LEH Quant says:

    The other Steve Cohen is a magician, Bess. You don’t need to be such a jerk. Respect the craft.

    -LEH Quant (Magician’s Apprentice/Balloon Guy on Weekends at Lucky Cheng’s)

  2. Guest says:

    Very impressive specially after so many of his insiders, I mean Alpha Advisors went down with Raj.

  3. Mike Hunt Hurts says:

     Humpty Dumpty sat on a desk….

  4. One month, particularly May, means nothing. 

    -White House Quant

  5. guest says:

    what rate do the feds accrue interest at when they freeze the assets for investors in the fund? 

  6. Stevie's 3rd Grade Teacher says:

    I never said “Little Stevie doesn’t apply himself” but rather “Little Stevie won’t stop playing with himself and stealing other students lunches”

  7. Guest says:

    Everything from Stamford sucks, there more things in CT than UBS and SAC

  8. Somewhere SC is sitting in a leather chair, watching Back Door Palestinian Bitches IV, rubbing his nipples, and singing out loud to Bulletproof while thinking to himself, “Bitches Don’t Know About My Bulletproof Fleece.”

    Fucking perv.

  9. addicted to details says:

    which Wendy’s?  the one on rte 123 or the post road location?  there’s cocksuckers at both.

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    I am fucking a 7 layer burrito right now like today was the last day on earth!

  11. lynn tilton says:

    When I want investors to go away I make them beat me off instead

  12. BBH says:

    my friends Jeff and John from Westport are both dickheads

    BBH

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