As you may have noticed, UBS has been going through some what of a rough patch. Profits are not what they once were, the IRS won’t let them help people evade taxes anymore and management has had a very difficult time convincing people not to quit, with a decent amount of senior departures occurring in the last several months. The deflections for the most part have to do with people wanting to get paid (there hasn’t been a lot of that in a while at UBS, though some staff recently received raises and higher-ups have pinky-sworn future pay will be competitive with other firms), but the bank is thinking the problem lies less with compensation and more with geography. Specifically, Stamford, CT, where the largest trading floor in the world is located. As we have reported, the equities team will be moving to New York later this summer and after casually mulling over the idea, management is now seriously considering moving the whole shebang, which they believe will solve all problems.
It turns out that a suburban location has become a liability in recruiting the best and brightest young bankers, who want to live in Manhattan or Brooklyn, not in Stamford, Conn., which is about 35 miles northeast of Midtown. The firm has also discovered that it would be better to be closer to major clients in New York City. As a result, UBS is seriously considering a reverse migration that would bring its investment banking division and up to 2,000 bankers and traders back to Wall Street and a new skyscraper at the rebuilt World Trade Center, according to real estate executives and city officials.
“They just can’t hire the bankers and traders they need,” said one landlord who has spoken with UBS but requested anonymity so as not to alienate a potential tenant.
Talks have been held with developer Larry Silverstein about a possible deal at 3 World Trade Center, which conveniently has 5 trading floors located in “Tower 3,” and while a move wouldn’t happen until 2015, Connecticut officials are extremely worried about the idea of losing the Swiss bank and not just because it’d mean being left alone with RBS. The Mayor of Stamford, Michael Pavia told the Times he and Governor Dannel P. Malloy “are committed to keeping UBS here.” As the bank seems to believe moving to New York will be a cure-all for recent woes and result in the need to beat financial services employees from every firm off with a stick as the vie for positions, it will be a tough sell. The ladies of Beamers can only do so much to entice people to stay, meaning someone ought to seriously start considering making the decriminalization of (small amounts of) marijuana a selling point. Maybe even suggest the lower right quadrant of the trading floor will be converted to a grow-house. Produce some videos starring Ossie Gruebel making love to a bag of weed. Etc. It might get people to stay *and* having employees trade while their minds are expanded could actually help the bottom line.
That’s the sound of Stamford Real Estate getting DESTROYED!!!!!
That’s the sound of Stamford Real Estate getting DESTROYED!!!!!
settle the fuck down.
settle the fuck down.
While the grow-your-own bonus plan is promising, hopefully UBS will realize that allowing their employees to act out their Sex And The City/Gossip Girl fantasies will not help employee retention.
While the grow-your-own bonus plan is promising, hopefully UBS will realize that allowing their employees to act out their Sex And The City/Gossip Girl fantasies will not help employee retention.
Bring back unlimited expense accounts, make coke legal, and quit being a bro-hater. Then maybe I’ll consider Stamford instead of Manhattan.
- 2011 junior trader hopeful
Bring back unlimited expense accounts, make coke legal, and quit being a bro-hater. Then maybe I’ll consider Stamford instead of Manhattan.
- 2011 junior trader hopeful
Do they have enough parking around the WTC? Where will I park my Accord?
- UBS MD
Do they have enough parking around the WTC? Where will I park my Accord?
- UBS MD
I also want cookies.
I also want cookies.
You’ll get nothing and like it
- J. Smails
You’ll get nothing and like it
- J. Smails
Damn, you were able to get an Accord. You’re the BSD.
-UBS Civic Driving MD
Damn, you were able to get an Accord. You’re the BSD.
-UBS Civic Driving MD
Damn, you were able to get an Accord. You’re the BSD.
-UBS Civic Driving MD
Damn, you were able to get an Accord. You’re the BSD.
-UBS Civic Driving MD
As Deke Slayton said:
I’m not saying anything new here. I’m just saying the same things that need to be said again and again with fierce conviction. And that thing is that “UBS Sucks”.
As Deke Slayton said:
I’m not saying anything new here. I’m just saying the same things that need to be said again and again with fierce conviction. And that thing is that “UBS Sucks”.
Bess, what is that a picture of?
-Guy who realizes he may be missing something.
Bess, what is that a picture of?
-Guy who realizes he may be missing something.
it was a civic. jesus fucking christ.
FUUUUUUCK!
FUUUUUUCK!
It appears to be Hostas… http://www.americanhostasociety.org/images/Mixed%20Hosta%20Display.jpg
-Guy who is also missing something
It appears to be Hostas… http://www.americanhostasociety.org/images/Mixed%20Hosta%20Display.jpg
-Guy who is also missing something
I drive a cavalier…it’s red.
I drive a cavalier…it’s red.
It’s a hedge, you fucking moron. UBS is a hedge fund. Do you get it now?
-LEH Quant
It’s an EGRET, you stupid bitch! WHAT THE FUCK.
if they only came to this decision back in ’98, when i decided to leave because, well, waking up at 3 for the reverse commute just wasn’t making me a better person.
BS. If UBS were a hedge fund, it would already be toast. Not even a long lock-up or gates could’ve saved those geniuses.
BS – Google is about the same distance from San Francisco as UBS from Manhattan; they aren’t losing out (or you don’t hear about it) because of it.
If you’re still employed, in this environment, suck it up. Or try your luck in NYC and let someone who wants the job in CT take it.
If these little banker shits don’t “stage” their houses, I won’t bother to market them. It’s a waste of my valuable time in this market to try to sell a house that isn’t “staged”. I want pianos, flatscreens, granite counter tops, paint everything white and keep the bathroom as bare as possible, never leave your personal items in view when showing your home. In fact, depersonalizing your whole property is a powerful selling tip. Buyers will be more attracted to your house when they can imagine themselves living there. To make your house look lived-in without looking like anyone actually lives there, pack away into storage:
All family photos
Holiday souvenirs
Trophies & certificates
Collectible items
Children’s artwork
Home Gyms that haven’t been used in months”UBS sucks” coffee cupsAny framed awards or degreesMugshotsFlame ThrowersFire retardant underwearT-shirts with “I shorted your house!” on them.Anything with a Texas A&M reference.Dried turdsBloodstainsAny containers with money in them or multiple passports
Any copies of “Das Boot”Pia Zadora references
Pawnbroker balls
You didn’t finish your sentence.
Just picked up a new Ford Fiesta on lease. Who’s the BSD now that I’m pushing the same whip as a MLB Hall of Famer?
- UBS MD
Have you ever been to New York? The leisurely reverse commute out of SF isn’t quite the same…
- MIT Traffic Engineering Genius
Yes, it’s your location that’s hurting recruiting
Spoken like a true COO.
going to be a LOOONNNNGGG comute from Newton , Ridgefield , Fairfield , Trumbull ….. ” All aboard …”
So by going from a semi-accessible location in suburban CT to a semi-accessible location in Lower Manhattan you’re going to boost recruiting? Hahahahahahahaha
-Guy who realizes its easier to get to Stamford than to the WTC from 86th/Lex.
Where can I find the aforementioned “UBS Sucks” coffee mug? Amazon?
You mean you don’t think people will enjoy the 15 min drive + 85 minute train ride + 25 minutes on the #4?
All this will do is piss off the majority of their mid-level and up employees who actually want to live in CT and dont feel like commuting to Jew York every day.
It’s basil. Just clip off a few leaves, rinse them, and place atop your bruschetta before serving.
But they are now in much closer proximity to targeted exit ops.
-Guy who rather take a long lunch than burn a day of PTO to interview.
Idiot, the only thing that turns into toast is wheat, after being prpared as bread and being “toasted” via any one of many methods. Wheat is not a hedge. It is a “crop”.
-AIG Commodities Desk
yep.
-MD who doesn’t want to live in a 3 bedroom box with this wife and 2 kids
Goodwill + Sharpie. No budget for eBay purchases right now.
This is true.
Actually, it’s E. Smails. His first name was Elihu.
Short Beamers, long Pink Pussycat?
Back to the city woooo! I’m ready to ball the fuck out!
- UBS trader who will sublease a “loft-like” studio in Bushwick
Christ if the B52′s playing Alive @ 5 can’t make you reconsider, nothing will
Damn! If that’s as big as the weed grows, the soil is for shit and I’d be movin my ass out of there too Beeeaaattttchhhh. .
I wear “I Love Stamford” shirts whole day long, what about wearing it in NYC ?UBS Trader
I first thought basil but I think you’ll find it’s a variegated euonymus, perhaps Chollipo or Silver King.
xoxo
Perma darling: 86th and Lex IS pretty much Stamford.
Gal who believes anything above 14th street is upstate
You had me at “vagina”.
Take a lap
Is your first name Douche?
Liked this
Goddamn, that was just awful. If your parents aren’t already embarrassed of you, they are now.
Short taco truck/Mexican hangout/homeless bathroom, long dirty water dogs.
yeah, it really wasn’t but was awful was you attempting to sound like a regular by telling someone to fuck and die for their comment. get some of your own material next time.
The 4-7pm happy hour a Beamers will never be the same.
ESL?
There are two things at work here.
First, to cite Reuters: “To entice UBS to move from New York City to Stamford, Connecticut in the early 1990s granted UBS an incentive package of about $120 million, with its final component ending around 2015, state and Stamford officials said”. It was granted in exchange for jobs, many of which were filled by people who currently reverse-commute from NYC. So now that the incentives are close to an end, UBS managment can shop for another tax abatement deal. Unusual? Not at all.
Second, Stamford isn’t to blame for UBS’ hiring difficulties. Once a big-time player in the banking and trading world, they (like some other shops) needed a government bailout to stay alive. No wonder the “talent” isn’t interested in working for a moribund management team. Maybe someday things will be different, but that’s not the case today.
how can UBS be saved?
- UBS isn’t Google. Employees who live in SF (even interns) are ferried in special Google buses to their fairy land, where they are showered with gold and myrrh.