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Suspend Your Meth Usage On The Trading Floor Until At Least Mid-September

Toying with the idea of cranking things up a notch at work with a few lines of blow before the open, exploring the affects of Ecstasy on your ability to trade, smoking enough meth to lose your teeth and/or saying fuck it on casual Fridays and rolling in wearing a button down with the sleeves pushed up displaying your track marks for all to see, thereby debunking the stereotype you’re a yuppie asshole? You know we’ll always support you in whatever you do but please strongly consider putting off all of the above until the Fall when you’re less likely to die on the job.

With relentless heat enveloping much of the nation, no one, it seems is spared. That includes a group at especially high risk of harm from high temperatures: drug users, both therapeutic and recreational, particularly those who take stimulants like cocaine, methamphetamine and Ritalin or antidepressants and other psychiatric medications.

One study found that for every week that the temperature exceeds 75 degrees Fahrenheit, New York City will experience two extra cocaine-related deaths. And, as the temperature climbs, the number of deaths leaps proportionally. A week like this with temperatures in the 90’s and possibly 100’s might tally 4-7 extra cocaine deaths in New York City alone. “High doses of stimulants can produce extremely high body temperatures,” says Zheng-Xiong Xi, a researcher at the National Institute on Drug Abuse. And extremely high body temperatures can kill.

We’re telling you this because we care.

Heat Spikes Death Risk From Drugs [Time]

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22 Responses to “Suspend Your Meth Usage On The Trading Floor Until At Least Mid-September”

  1. Gentleman Trader says:

    truth!nn-guy who almost had a heart attack during a five eight-ball weekend a few days ago

  2. Guy with a sweet 1998 'lude says:

    Special K -u00a0 It’s not just for breakfast.u00a0 nn- guy with a very mellow cat

  3. fkapmco says:

    Thank god I went to rehab before it got really hot.

  4. Lloyd says:

    Insert “quit sniffing glue” comment here.

  5. Horatio says:

    Pussies.u00a0 I’ve snorted coke off of molten lava before.u00a0 I’m still here.nn/Chazzy “Booger Sugar” Gasparingdingnn

  6. Ghost of Amy Winehouse says:

    I was not aware of that.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Hey Dr X.u00a0 Alternative theory alert.nnNo one likes to showcase their almost-Batman-like abilities to their friends fromu00a0thier 30th flooru00a0balcony when its cold as balls out.nnThis is a simply a story of loose positive corollations.

  8. Concerned Oil Trader says:

    This is why we recommend water/drug enemas at this time of year in Houston.

    • Houston Hummer says:

      It’s actually raining shit in Houston right now.u00a0 Total fecal downpour.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Exactly the reason I stick to pure grain alcohol and rainwater. nn-Gen. J. T. Ripper USAF

  10. Adonis says:

    Who’s banging 7 gram rocks cause that’s how they roll?

  11. NakedShort says:

    I took an extra Allegra today to combat my seasonal allergies and now I am freaking out.nn-Back Office short tie guy

  12. Guest says:

    Take a hit of this Jeffery…it’ll calm you motherfuckers down!nn-Sergio

  13. Guest says:

    This is exactly why I look forward to winter.nn- Vincent Vega, Choco heroin-loving trader

  14. Bud Niper says:

    Shit!u00a0 I should lay off the cat-nip until September.n-Villanova ’10

  15. Ragnar says:

    Fuck you all! I went to rehab four times in three years and Im still here.. Been killing it since you bitches were in a cradle! nn-Larry Kudlowu00a0

  16. Guest says:

    In Miami, just burying your face in a massive pile of snow and snorting is the accepted technique to ensure a correct dosage. Pussies.nn– T. Montana

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