July 2011

  • News

    UBS Will Personally Wrap The Knick Knacks Of Those Leaving Stamford For Points South In Bubble Wrap, Possibly Even Drive Them To The Train

    As we have discussed at length, UBS might move its headquarters to downtown New York in the next several years, a possibility that strikes fear into the hearts of Stamford officials and drool onto the faces of those fantasizing about the moderately-priced cheesecakes to be pillaged at the Costco that could move into the 36,000 […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 12:12 PM
  • News

    Today in Visual Display of Quantitative Information (Nerdy)

    Zero Hedge points out this awesome chart in an otherwise kind of back-test-eriffic Stanford paper on credit-equity correlation trading: The chart graphs 2003-2010 investment grade credit spreads (left axis) versus the S&P (bottom axis), with the size of the circles corresponding to the level of the VIX volatility index and the colors distinguishing the year […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 12:06 PM
  • News

    Sheryl Sandberg for Treasury Secretary?

    In New York this week, John Heileman repeats reports that Tim Geithner wants to resign as Treasury Secretary this year after the debt ceiling talks are resolved, and kind of surprisingly gives the nod to Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg as the most likely successor, adding to talk of her shortlisting from earlier this month. His […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 11:08 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Showers R. Kelly With A Foreclosure Notice

    If there’s one bank that could not be characterized as a playa-hata, that bank would be JPMorgan Chase. Having said that, the House of Dimon has been forced to deliver the less than stellar news that R. Kelly may soon need to get out of his house, on account of the fact that the R&B […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 10:37 AM
  • News

    Just to Be Clear: Italy Not Banning Short Selling, Just Asking Really Nicely

    Not satisfied with taking down the names of everyone shorting Italian stocks so it could give them disappointed looks and ask them if they feel good about themselves for making Nonna cry over her lost pension, Italian securities regulator Consob has started using a little “moral suasion” to get their buddies to cut them off.

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 10:15 AM
  • News

    Sailors Unite Against Harbinger Capital-Backed LightSquared

    As you know, Harbinger Capital currently has a big bet going on a wireless company called LightSquared. Should it succeed, Phil Falcone will make billions and his investors will receive the triple digit returns they scored on subprime. Should it fail…we don’t even want to go there but the victims will not be faceless and […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 9:26 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 07.13.11

    As Talks Stall, New Debt Plan Offered (WSJ) In one sign that top leaders worry they won’t reach a deal in time, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R., Ky.) unveiled a proposal that would allow President Barack Obama to raise on his own the federal borrowing limit by $2.4 trillion in three installments before the […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 8:11 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 07.12.11

    $$$ Geithner: We need a deal by next week (CNN) $$$ Obama says he cannot guarantee Social Security checks will go out on August 3 (CBS) $$$ McConnell Says ‘Real Deal’ Not Possible With Obama (WSJ) $$$ PIMCO’s Gross raises Treasuries in flagship fund (Reuters) $$$ Moody’s cuts Ireland to junk, warns of 2nd bailout […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 5:59 PM
  • News

    Get Off Bud Selig’s Ass About The Mets/Einhorn Deal, Which Is Happening

    Just over a month ago, it was announced that David Einhorn would be acquiring a minority stake in the New York Mets. While thinking people (and people familiar with the matter) understand that these things take time, others have read into the “hold up,” wondering if deeper meaning is to be derived. While there’s no […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 5:45 PM
  • News

    Dylan Ratigan Does Not Believe in Newspapers, the Debt Ceiling, Personal Identity

    Dylan Ratigan lets us in on his secret of inner peace in an Atlantic “What I Read” today. Answer – mainly Twitter, oil prices, and ’70s spiritualist and Timothy Leary associate Ram Dass: The bottom line on Ram Dass is the realization that there is no personal identity. I’m an anchor, I’m a journalist, I’m […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 5:05 PM
  • Hedge Funds, News

    Don’t Shed A Tear For John Paulson Just Yet

    His investors don’t appear bothered by the whole fake trees incident and not even all of his funds are down. You’re only hearing about the ones not doing as hot being people love to tear a big man down.

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 4:37 PM
  • News

    UBS Begins Releasing Stamford-Based Employees Into The Wild

    Last month we discussed the possibility of UBS moving out of its Stamford, CT building (which houses the largest trading floor in the world) and into New York City. The bank, which has not been doing too hot of late, seems to believe that leaving Stamford would be a panacea for all its woes which, […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 3:46 PM
  • News

    FOMC Minutes Out

    FOMC members were split on balancing the potential need for more monetary stimulus against inflation fears, with most members viewing current inflation levels as temporary and driven by energy prices. The minutes sum up the debate on additional easing:

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 3:01 PM
  • News

    Federal Judge Wants to Keep an Eye on SEC to Make Sure They’re Not Bullying Rajat Gupta

    You might think – particularly if you’re a certain hedge fund manager counting down the days to a September sentencing – that Rajat Gupta did pretty well by not being prosecuted criminally (yet!) for allegedly passing inside information to Galleon. All he’s got so far is an SEC administrative action looking for “disgorgement of ill-gotten […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 2:46 PM
  • News

    IRS, Derek Jeter’s Lucky Ball Doing Their Part To Pay Down Debt

    Christian Lopez, 23, will probably be on the hook for $5,000 to $13,000 because of the luxury seats the grateful Yankees gave him, the accountants said. “He’s a great guy,” says Terry Ganer, a die-hard Yankees fan and accountant for Ganer Grossbach & Ganer in midtown. “But I’m pretty sure the tax man, unfortunately, is […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 1:57 PM
  • News

    Looking To Be A Whore In One Sailor’s Port?

    This is happening on Wall Street circa now.

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 12:26 PM
  • News

    Job Search Pro Tip: Porn Sites Need CFOs Too

    Layoff season has begun and it’s no secret that there’s more coming. And with the shrinking of the financial industry generally, some of you are probably going to have to think about transitioning to a new industry. One where you can use your above-average interpersonal skills, process management expertise, knowledge of cash flow modeling, and […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 11:52 AM
  • Hedge Funds, News

    Tech Venture Capital Community Views Hedge Fund Money As Impatient, Unsupportive, Scary, Devil-Esque

    As those of you’ve been paying very careful attention may have noticed, Wall Street is pretty into tech these days. Morgan Stanley is underwriting every single IPO available, Goldman Sachs has money in Mark Zuckerberg’s poking machine and LinkedIn is making Jim Cramer’s head explode. Hedge funds, however, want more. While Peter Thiel famously invested […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 10:47 AM
  • News

    What Does Joe Biden Have To Do For Congress To Get Serious On This Debt Ceiling Business?

    The president today continued to make the case for a big deal, arguing that if they’re going to draw heat for the deal, they should at least do more than make a down payment on the deficit – they should get the country on sounder financial footing and begin to seriously bend the deficit cost […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 10:33 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 07.12.11

    Portugal Slump to Deepen as Austerity Bites (Bloomberg) Portugal’s economy will shrink more than forecast this year and contract in 2012 as the austerity measures that were required for an international bailout take hold, the country’s central bank said. Gross domestic product will shrink 2 percent this year and 1.8 percent in 2012 after expanding […]

    / Jul 12, 2011 at 7:42 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 07.11.11

    $$$ Italy Evolves Into E.U.’s Next Weak Link (NYT) $$$ Obama Urges ‘Largest Possible Deal’ on Debt (Bloomberg) $$$ California’s June Revenue Is $440 Million Above Estimates, Controller Says (Bloomberg) $$$ Bank of America, Morgan Stanley Touch Crisis Lows (Deal Journal) $$$ Ex-Goldman Director Can Pursue Case Against SEC (WSJ) $$$ Moody’s Raises ‘Red Flags’ […]

    / Jul 11, 2011 at 6:40 PM
  • News

    Questionable Sushi And A Handshake From Darryl Strawberry Not All That Await You At Duane Reade

    You may have heard the disturbing news that bonuses this year are expecting to cause a lot of JO&C’ing at various desks across Wall Street. Here to help? Your friendly neighborhood Duane Reade, which last week announced its intent to convince financial services employees who work in the neighborhood to patronize the hell out of […]

    / Jul 11, 2011 at 6:09 PM
  • News

    Sheila Bair Not Intimidated By Threats of Financial Meltdown, Awkward Physical Contact

    Sheila Bair continues to be mad that she didn’t get to sit at the grown-ups’ table during the financial crisis, and she told Joe Nocera all about it in his much-talked-about “exit interview” this weekend. She-Bair is not afraid to bring the awkies regarding her relationship with Hank Paulson: “Except for a 10-second handshake, she […]

    / Jul 11, 2011 at 5:39 PM
  • News

    Flopping The Nuts: David Einhorn Moves On To Day 2 Of WSOP

    Someone must be wearing his lucky sweatshirt.

    / Jul 11, 2011 at 4:45 PM

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