Yesterday we learned the disturbing news that R. Kelly may soon lose his house, on account of not having paid his mortgage since June 2010. Kelly owes JPMorgan $2.9 million, plus unpaid interest accruing at $251 a day on the suburban Chicago spread and while he probably has a few other places in which to crash, this place is special as it comes with six full bathrooms, seven half-baths, and 12 walk-in closets. What was the R&B singer to do? His options appeared limited. Then, today, while thumbing through the international section…eureka.
According to Bloomberg, a group called La Plataforma de los Afectados por la Hipoteca, which means “platform for those affected by their mortgage,” has been successfully fighting evictions in Madrid. All one has to do is call PAH headquarters, give them an address, and hundreds of volunteers are dispatched to form a “human chain” around the house, daring the foreclosure man to try and get through. Obviously this plan could work for RK just as well if not better. He doesn’t have the cash to fly the Spaniards in but he can do one better- he can turn to his fans. Would JPMorgan try and break a chain formed by hundreds of 13 year-old girls around the 11,600 square foot house, with a fake rainstorm falling on Kelly singing on a platform hoisted up in the air by a crane? There’s only one way to find out.
Dial-a-Crowd Battles Spanish Banks Trying to Repossess Homes [Bloomberg]
Donde esta la hipoteca?
- R Kelly
R. Kelly is kidding.
“a chain formed by hundreds of 13 year-old girls”u00a0 or as i like to call it…a trough.nn-R.K.
Screw the Spaniards, you should play to your strengths.u00a0 Try relieving yourself in the corner.nn-L Dykstra
Or as a tribute to Bastille Day, perhaps take a page out of the French book and build a line of concrete fortifications around the property.u00a0 nnIf he does go down that path, I would suggest not neglecting to fortify any heavily wooded areas around the property.
Remind us of how well that little concrete wall worked out for them…
I piss on these greedy banksters! n-R.K.
Hmmm!nn– Jeffrey Epstein
He had to travel to Spain to learn that to sell a house you need toilet?n-UBS Real Estate Quant/Ex-SEC Enforcer
If he goes the french route the fortifications would be in the back yard facing the neighbors, and he’d leave the front door unlocked and open.
haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, I don’t even wan’t none of the above…..
You mean, flowers needing to be watered?nn-R. Kelly’s conscience
Six full bathrooms, seven and a half-baths, but no golden shower?
Actually he means, golden showers make girls flower.n-R Kelly’s Logic
yea, the 13 year-old girl crowd moved on from R. Kelly about 5 years ago. Most of his remaining fan base is unemployed or incarcerated.
We put clients who do pay their mortgages in jail, just imagine what we do to clients that don’t*nn* Not a threat but no seriously don’t fuck with us
6 full bathrooms, 7 half bathrooms, and one girl for when I needs to pee. nn- R. Kelly
Only thing that make my life complete, Is when I turn yo face into a toilet seat.u00a0 I want to pee on you.u00a0 Yes I do, pee pee on you.
Yeah, well we lock our clients in a room and kill them.u00a0 Who’s the real bank now, Jamie?nn–Vik Pan