Back in May, UBS AG investment-banking chief Carsten Kengeter told employees that he was “done with their complaints about pay,” and that those asking why they haven’t seen a bonus in several years “just don’t get it.” While the tough love approach may have worked for some, others felt it was too much, with one senior banker noting that “You got off the call and thought ‘how can I stay here any longer?’” And yet, despite the fact that there’s been very high turnover at the bank in the last few months, which many believe has to do with the whole lack of pay situation, there are probably people out there who’d love to work at UBS. Young children in Switzerland. Recent business school graduates who’ve dreamed of living in Stamford their whole lives. Twenty year Wall Street vets looking to jump from Goldman. Unfortunately, those dreams have been dashed by Kengeter, who informed the investment bank that no one is getting, indefinitely.
Carsten Kengeter sent a memo last Thursday saying no new hires until his office provides further notice.
Additionally, according to those at the bank “all internal transfers have been put on hold. Current interns from last year who haven’t been placed in a group yet are unlikely to be placed. Kengeter added that there were no exceptions for employees of any level to be hired, even if they were being hired to fill roles of employees who have departed the firm.”
Update: A spokeswoman for the bank clarifies that the above is “not a hiring freeze” and that it is “typical for investments banks in normal course of business to slow hiring at this point of the year.”
All together now….”UBS Sucks”
Word on the Street is that they are hiring at Stamford Honda…
Like a 89 year old whore with pus filled sores covering her body yelling that she is turning down all arrivals from now on
Sounds like a sale is coming
UBS is getting bought out by a joint venture co-financed by Citadel and Fortress, tba Q1 2012, probably to be implemented around Q3 2012
UBS sounds like a custodial bank with that verbiage.u00a0
With FIG’s track record in private equity the past 4 years, if thatu00a0is any indicator of the future, UBS will burn to the ground if that deal goes through.u00a0
Why?u00a0 Growthu00a0prospects seem flat at best?u00a0 Could be some additional need in the service department.
Can I get paid is Suisse Franks if I work for UBS? Maybe straight bullion?u00a0nSomewhere out there a discount autobody shop needs someone who is familiar with Audi R8 repairs. See there are still jobs being generated by Wall Street in this economy ;)u00a0
Finally!u00a0 No more crowded parking lots.u00a0 I can park my Prelude with the knowledge it won’t be hit by those less fortunate (and jealous) Civic owners.nn-1998 ‘Lude, emerald green, after market spoiler, tinted windows, no bubbles.u00a0 Cup holder holds an 8oz coffee cup.u00a0 Wheels stay secure in speeds over 100 MPH.
Dear Mr. Kengeter,nnIcing was cool….last summer.nn-Guy who doesn’t really think icing was cool but is willing to go with it for the sake of this comment
Citadel mainly wants Comm-PASS
Guess their summers are ending their internships a few weeks early…
If the crisis did not spell the end of sell side as we know it with a need to move to a buy side then they deserve all that pain.
All the banks are cutting.u00a0 Sounds like the goddamn economy is about to fall off a cliff is what it sounds like.
I wonder if Citadel will also buy my ex-GF. She has massive debt and thinks everyone wants to fuck her.
That’s okay.u00a0 I just got a good front office gig for the Oracle of Omaha himself.n-Junior Cashier DQ 885 Summer Street/CBS ’11 Grad
What will the Crab Shell bartenders do now without those huge 5% UBS banker tips? nnWill Morton’s steakhouse remain solvent during Christmas without UBS employees spending their $100 bonus on house wine and the steak lunch special? nnHow will hedge funds survive without the sell-side equity research from UBS?nnAnd perhaps most dire… does this mean the underground world of Civic street racing will freeze as well?
And the countdown begins………until a new strategy put forth by Kengeter…….UBS will stand for………University Book Shop………..or Union of Brunel Students…………or maybe United Bible Societies………perhaps United Blood Services????
Why can’t they just buy Comm-PASS?u00a0 Deal seems just a bit large for Cit/Fortress without a ton of co-invest which would be pretty difficult to generate in that type of deal.u00a0
These guys know a thing or two about risk management!
Hahahahahau00a0 +1
Racing circuit will survive.u00a0 New influx of ‘talent’ from former, or never will be UBS’ers.nn-guy with a vested interest in Honda racing
COTY
Sale of what? Most people would not pay anything for a steaming pile of feces.
such a great idea….lose all of the banking talent and then respond by hiring the dead wpod MDs to replace real MDs
No love for us?nn-Beamers
Hey Guest…are you saying that hiring RBC, RBS, Okeefe and the unemployed is a bad strategy?u00a0u00a0 They are like the Mets, sell or stripu00a0the good talent and replace them with minor leaguers.u00a0 This strategy is like the NFL scab strategy during the strike.u00a0 No one came then to watch the games and no client now will come to ubs….nighty night UBS IB.
While it may not be a Citadel / Fortress buy out of the IB in the future .. and while they may remain in Stamford …..it wont be the u00a0UBS IB perched on prestigious Washington Blvd come 2012 .. andu00a0u thought there were a lot of ” For Sale ” signs on the lawns in Fairfield countyu00a0 this past u00a0spring ….
Great – now where are we going to work?nnCornell MBA Class of 2012
Sounds interesting. Tell me more.n-Ken Lewis
I took that approach to adjusting the value of my house while in bankruptcynn-Nails
Just remember that you get what you pay for, you motherfucking parasitic finance companies.u00a0nnDo you think that your employees were working for you for anything other than money? u00a0nnNo pay, no performance. u00a09 to fucking 5, including lunch away from the desk.
Well done. You can stay.
Anger much?
Just make sure you keep that piece away from my ’88 VW Scioacco 16vnn-dude who doesn’t miss the retro eurostyle with oakleys, mock turtleneck and acid wash jeans
You moron Cornell MBA,nnYou stand no chance in front of Stanford MBA Ballers like us.nnIf we don’t get a job, you have no bloody chance of getting your foot into Wall St.nnThe big-3 Consulting firms + Deloitte are recruiting like crazy on Stanford’s campus. u00a0I too am interning at one of these consulting firms this summer.nnGranted its not Wall St., but its good enough.nnYou losers would be better of working at S.C. Johnson selling Clorox bleach.nn-Stanford Baller ’12
Yo WASP,nnI agree with you. u00a0Look at Vikram Pandit & Anshu Jain of Citi & Deutsche. u00a0ALl up to no good. u00a0Let’s outsource THEM back to India.nnAt least they’re better than blacks like Stan O’Neal.nnE. Prescott Colt III
Hey McKinsey douchebag,nnDo you partake in insider trading as well.nnif so, tell me what Blue Horse-shoe and Rajat Gupta like these days asshole
Are there any strawberries to be picked in Stamford?
Currency Trader,nnI would like to bend your GF over and go doggy on her. u00a0
Your best bet is selling Saran Wrap & Ziploc assistant associate brand manager at SC Johnson. u00a0Why are you even reading this Wall Street blog?
Blue Horse-shoe likes LTTE and Danielle Chiese
IF banks are cutting, then WHO IS HIRING?nnLegit question guys. u00a0Seeking career advice as a senior in a top-5 public University.
UBS = Ur Balls Stink
Snoopy — in the pink or in the stink?
Skilled manufacturing. You’re better off learning how to run a drill press. Dead serious, btw…
Can they actually afford you?
Bragging about being recruited by an accounting firm is the NKI…
Dear Stanford Douche Bags -nnGo get your shineboxes, as you are all hippie jerkwads with no chance of ever calling Park Avenue ‘home’.nn~ Every MBA program east of Ohio
^^^ Question of the thread….nnnAnswer: Not without a high yield senior loan, and a mezz/equity piece to fill the gap.
MD…and not the kind in finance.
Bragging about consulting firms plus Deloitte is the new Romo.nnDartmouth WASP, No Romo
Hermon Raju?u00a0 Is that you?nnn-Transit AuthoritynnP.S.u00a0 S.C. Johnson is an E&Y client…so enjoy working on that process optimization project in Pakistan next year :)
You know, $150k/yr in Racine, WI prob. gets you a 5br/4.5bth colonial on 5 acres w a view of Lake Michiganu00a0+ a five minute commute by personal automobile… and low stress. Just sayin’nn-Guy dreading theu00a0#6 train on a day when itsu00a098 degrees + 95%u00a0humidityu00a0
I’m all for stress reduction, but Wisconsin…I think I died a little just thinking about it :)
Try working for Bank of America….you have to suck small dick for just a little bonus
Close call…which is worse UBS or BAC? Having to work for anti-Semitic CK or douche D’onofrio…I prefer SC Johnson
Close call…which is worse UBS or BAC? Having to work for anti-Semitic CK or douche D’onofrio…I prefer SC Johnson
Marry a Canadian. Then you get health care and an oil sands job.
Marry a Canadian. Then you get health care and an oil sands job.
I was surprised “loser” was spelled correctly.
Don’t worry, banks aren’t hiring from UNC anyway.
A spokeswoman for the bank clarifies that the above is u201cnot a hiring freezeu201d.nAny intelligent person (read: don’t work at MCO, S&P, Fitch) will see that not hiring anyone and a hiring freeze are the exact same thing.nn-Trader who would like to short the UBS spokesperson (preferably buy outs for additional leverage). u00a0
Just finished my internship in UBS last month,. .. was kinda hopeful… but this puts me down..back to square one I guess