• 20 Jul 2011 at 5:44 PM

Who Wants To Be CEO Of UBS?

By Bess Levin

The bank isn’t hiring anyone at the moment and current CEO Oswald Gruebel has said he’s not leaving anytime soon but, naturally, they’d like to be prepared when the moment comes. Would you or someone you know be the right person for the job? Prerequisites for the gig include “the charisma to run a place like UBS” and being any nationality but German.

UBS AG’s appointment of ex-Bundesbank head Axel Weber as future chairman has made one thing clear: when the Swiss bank appoints a successor to CEO Oswald Gruebel, it won’t pick another German. Weber has already said “generation change” will be one of his top priorities at UBS, stoking speculation about who will succeed Gruebel, even though Weber only joins the board next May and takes over from Kaspar Villiger as chairman in 2013…Weber’s appointment has probably dashed any remaining chances for Carsten Kengeter, the German head of UBS investment banking who was the highest-paid executive last year but whose star has faded as he failed to stem an exodus of bankers. “I don’t believe it is going to be a German person. The most important is to have somebody who is well-known in the industry,” said Vontobel analyst Teresa Nielsen. Anti-German sentiment has been on the rise in Switzerland amid a big influx of German immigrants, often seen as brusque and arrogant by their Alpine hosts.

The current internal frontrunner is Sergio Ermotti, who was already touted as a possible candidate last year when he was named as UBS’s chief of Europe, Middle East and Africa after he was passed over for the CEO job at UniCredit…After Weber was announced future chairman on July 1, Switzerland’s Handelszeitung newspaper called Ermotti the “hottest hopeful” to replace Gruebel. But some analysts doubt the well-dressed investment banker has the gravitas for the job and have also questioned his performance during the financial crisis, even though his division delivered more than half UniCredit’s profit last year. “He takes clients out, he’s got a nice tan, but he doesn’t have the charisma to run a place like UBS and to cope with the risk,” said one Italy-based analyst who declined to be named.

Which one of you non-Krauts have what it takes?

Wanted: CEO For UBS; Germans Need Not Apply [Reuter]

Comments (39)

  1. 1
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    ME ME ME! Please pick me! Ahh, never mind. I thought it was United Brothel Services.nn-DSK

  2. 2
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    ME ME ME! Please pick me! Ahh, never mind. I thought it was United Brothel Services.nn-DSK

  3. 3
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    A passion for Honda cars is a mustnn- HR

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    A passion for Honda cars is a mustnn- HR

  5. 5
    Posted by #REF | July 20, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    ME ME ME ME!!nn-Anshu Jain

  6. 6
    Posted by #REF | July 20, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    ME ME ME ME!!nn-Anshu Jain

  7. 7
    Posted by the truth | July 20, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    Nice tan, but not as nice as Obama’snn- S. Berlusconi

  8. 8
    Posted by the truth | July 20, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    Nice tan, but not as nice as Obama’snn- S. Berlusconi

  9. 9
    Posted by the truth | July 20, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    Since when do the Swiss bite the hand that feeds them?* nn* stuff their vaults full of Nazi gold

  10. 10
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    Is there a Drug Test?nn-Jimmy Cayne

  11. 11
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    Is there a Drug Test?nn-Jimmy Cayne

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:22 PM

    Comfortable in a industrial warehouse setting and unfamiliarity with NYC & Greenwich a plus.n-HR

  13. 13
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:22 PM

    Comfortable in a industrial warehouse setting and unfamiliarity with NYC & Greenwich a plus.n-HR

  14. 14
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    Are you allowed to be a total DICK?nn-Dick Fuld

  15. 15
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    Are you allowed to be a total DICK?nn-Dick Fuld

  16. 16
    Posted by Goldmanbanker | July 20, 2011 at 10:29 PM

    Will they be willing to consider Jews? Or are they afraid we’d find where they’ve been hiding our money?nnAn Ex Goldman Sachs Banker

  17. 17
    Posted by EagerToPlz | July 20, 2011 at 10:42 PM

    What are my chances if I’m the proud owner of a Honda Vamos?nn- Guy who never wants to leave UBS

  18. 18
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    Expert inu00a0Swiss/US/Euro Bankrupcy filling procedures andu00a0Laws a MUST.n-HR

  19. 19
    Posted by Guest | July 20, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    Expert inu00a0Swiss/US/Euro Bankrupcy filling procedures andu00a0Laws a MUST.n-HR

  20. 20
    Posted by Oooooh Yeah! | July 20, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    Re-conjoin at the head the Winklevoss twins and there ya go, a perfect head of UBS.

  21. 21
    Posted by Oooooh Yeah! | July 20, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    Re-conjoin at the head the Winklevoss twins and there ya go, a perfect head of UBS.

  22. 22
    Posted by Anonymous | July 20, 2011 at 11:01 PM

    Sorry….UBS sucks!

  23. 23
    Posted by The Ghost of Steele Alphin | July 21, 2011 at 2:37 AM

    I’m freenn~Uncle Kenny

  24. 24
    Posted by The Ghost of Steele Alphin | July 21, 2011 at 2:37 AM

    I’m freenn~Uncle Kenny

  25. 25
    Posted by Hitler | July 21, 2011 at 5:33 AM

    Time to take the dust off my austrian passport. We’ll start by making BNP Paribas, SocGen and Credit Agricole surrender.

  26. 26
    Posted by Lbz360 | July 21, 2011 at 7:45 AM

    Luxury midsize 4 door from the Avis lot is one of the many perks!

  27. 27
    Posted by Guest | July 21, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    K-Swiss, UBS, fuck it, I’m takin on Tolberone and Nestle too bitch!.nnThat’s right, I’m the Mother Fuckin CEO of Switzerland, I just fired all y’all wood shoe makin sons a bitches. u00a0nnThere’s gonna be some changes around here. u00a0Starting with,,,,no more of this neutral shit! We’re attacking all the countries, Polish Invasion style.nnI just flipped your holed cheese eaten world upside down, deal with it!nn-Kenny Powers MFCEO and the MF Grand Chancellor of Switzerlandu00a0n(and it we must…. CEO UBS AG)

  28. 28
    Posted by 25th Hour Trader | July 21, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    This will not affect me at all. u00a0Instead of not being paid by Gruebel, I will not be paid by someone else. u00a0nn-UBS banker who would consider being paid in Chuck E. Cheese tokens the NKI.

  29. 29
    Posted by Put_Option | July 21, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    So wait, you’re telling me that I get $45k a year before tax, 30-40% annual bonus, warrants with a strike that’s out of the money, a $10 discount any time I stay at a Motel 8, and you’ll upgrade my civic to a Subaru WRX!? nnAnd all I have to do is sit in this desk and pretend as if our bank is legitimate? Ok let’s do this thing…. nnNo, I don’t think we need to bring ink and paper into this. This isn’t like buying a Fossil watch or a pair of Oakley’s, this is just UBS.nn- ‘insert hilarious tag here’ UBS MD

  30. 30
    Posted by Anonymous | July 21, 2011 at 1:11 PM

    Wooden shoes are from Holland, change to “cukoo clock makin sons a bitches”…other than that I have no concernsnnn-Dennis Bergkamp

  31. 31
    Posted by Guest | July 21, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    First order of business, all Patek Philippe’s will have my cock in place of the hour and minute hands….scratch that, my cock as the minute hand and Oswald’s cock as the hour hand (so every hour he can have a constant reminder of who the Bigger Swinging Dick is around here) .nn-Kenny Powers, MFCEO/MFGCS/MFCEO UBS AG

  32. 32
    Posted by Guest | July 21, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    which heads are we talking about?nu00a0- guy who usually thinks with his, well, you know…

  33. 33
    Posted by dip_dunk | July 21, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    You just spent way too much time trying to be witty behind a computer. Keep your eyes on the markets and off the message boardsu00a0big guy.n

  34. 34
    Posted by Put_Option | July 21, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Thanks for the douchey comment. To your point, one; that comment took all of 60 seconds to think/write. Two; I’m transaction focused so I don’t need to be glued to tick movements. I’m not some dime a dozen day trader that scalps the markets. nnNext time do your homework. Enjoy the back office.

  35. 35
    Posted by Guest | July 21, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    Hey! jocks need jobs too.nn-Captain of Hofstra Lacrosse class of ’10

  36. 36
    Posted by Guy with a sweet 1998 'lude | July 21, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Looks like the jobs all mine!

  37. 37
    Posted by Guy with a sweet 1998 'lude | July 21, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    My demands are simple:nn1) premier parking spot for the ‘luden2) no 5oz coffee cupsn3) company sponsored team building events at concerts such as Poison, Crue or any mid 90′s rap bandn4) UBS Sucks guy hired as hear of PRnnI await your callnn-guy who’s listening to Right Said Fred’s greatest hits

  38. 38
    Posted by Anonymous | July 21, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    I believe I have the relevant skill set.nnE. SmithnCommodore, White Star Line

  39. 39
    Posted by Guest | July 21, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    They’re just so used to a culture of piss poor banking that having a Jew in there who knew what he was doing would simply be to foreign of a concept for them to grasp.nn-self hating Jew except when it comes to the interview room

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