As you may have heard, Standard and Poor’s knocked the US’s debt down to double-A plus from triple-A Friday evening. Several hours before it was made official, the ratings agency was notified their team had made some calculation errors but chose to say “fuck it, on with the downgrade.” This made a whole bunch of people very upset, including Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, who commented S&P demonstrated “really terrible judgement, handled themselves poorly, showed a stunning lack of knowledge about basic US fiscal budget math, and…came to exactly the wrong conclusion” and Warren Buffett, who shared that he could not give less of a rat’s ass what S&P thinks, that he’s “not changing his mind about Treasurys based on the downgrade,” that “if anything, it may change my opinion on S&P,” and that the United States’s debt is like that of the first buxon milkmaid he laid his eyes on 70 years ago today- her tits may be down on the ground now but they’ll always be triple-A rated in his mind and that’s all that matters.

A slightly different reaction came from PIMCO CEO Bill Gross. He loved the downgrade and if we’re being really honest? It earned S&P some respect in his eyes, ’cause it showed the ratings agency has balls.

“I have been criticizing them and Moody’s and Fitch for a long time. Moody’s and Fitch are on the “S” list. I think S&P finally demonstrated some spin. S&P finally got it right. They spoke to a dysfunctional political system and deficits as far as the eye can see. They are enforcing some discipline. My hat is off to them. “

Oh god, does anything top the thrill of being a total prick just because you can? Now you guys finally know what it felt like to leave that waitress a negative tip for not being quick about the refills. Conga line in all your honor today at lunch.

PIMCO’s Bill Gross speaks to Tom Keene on U.S. credit downgrade [BloombergTV]

43 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (43)

  1. Posted by Ricky Martin | August 8, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    I never realized until now that Bill is actually a handsome guy…in that classic, Steve Buscemi kind of way.

  2. Posted by Alt_EST | August 8, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    The interview says, "I have a profound respect for the mentally handicapped subsidiary of a textbook publisher," but the hair and mustache says, "Hey little boy, I have some free candy in the back of my van."

  3. Posted by Rep. Boner (R. OH) | August 8, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    That stache makes it move. I wonder what it'll look like around my Boehner

  4. Posted by Backdoor_Bess | August 8, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    The stache makes me think Bill had 'a pair' on his chin back in the 70's

  5. Posted by Guest | August 8, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    I think Bill Gross has it wrong. As Marshall Auerback has pointed out ad nauseum, the U.S. can always print its way out of debt (although it will be a rare day when Auerback uses "print" and "money" in the same sentence – he prefers vague circumlocutions, like a "sovereign issuer of its own currency always has the ability to make payments" – just don't call it printing money to pay debts, that's what disreputable banana republics do!)

    But at any rate, both Gross and Auerback are wrong. It isn't the U.S.'s bond rating that deserves a downgrade, it's the U.S. dollar. The U.S. can always make payments, but would have to debase the currency to do so. But since S&P doesn't really rate currencies, it has to settle with rating bonds, which is a bit of a cop-out in my view. They could save themselves the trouble of working through all the downgrades of U.S. federal and municipal issuers just by downgrading the dollar and declaring anyone who accepts dollar-denominated debt to be a fool.

  6. Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | August 8, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    He makes my seat itch.

    -Guy That Knows A Thing Or Three About Mustaches

    /No Homo

  7. Posted by Guest | August 8, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    That photo looks like a casting call for the next Tim Burton movie.

  8. Posted by guest | August 8, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    Dear DealBreaker,

    I saw this TV show Entourage on TV last night and this first older guy was too scared to have sex with this girl and then this second older guy got way high and shot himself. Anyhow I thought that was realistic because of how getting older makes you feel all sad and scared. Except, who keeps a loaded handgun in the powder room? Is that like a West Coast thing?

    Curious in NYC

  9. Posted by Guesticles | August 8, 2011 at 10:19 AM

    You want him to give you a mustache ride? Or a dirty sanchez?

  10. Posted by florida | August 8, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    Matt Levine…is that you?

  11. Posted by Guest | August 8, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    It couldn't be Matt. There are only 2 paragraphs and no chart in the post.

  12. Posted by The Joke briefer | August 8, 2011 at 10:39 AM


  13. Posted by Pretty Banker | August 8, 2011 at 10:46 AM

    He's so Gross

  14. Posted by Texashedge | August 8, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    “if anything, it may change my opinion on S&P,”

    Says the guy who owns Moody's

  15. Posted by PermaGuestII | August 8, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    Nice jacket.

  16. Posted by I'm An Idiot | August 8, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    Isn't that the director of the movie "Pink Flamingos?"

  17. Posted by worth79 | August 8, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    ("finally that April short is turning around for me")

  18. Posted by guest | August 8, 2011 at 11:25 AM

    You've seen the 2 year downtrend in the dollar index right?

  19. Posted by Koolaidisfun | August 8, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Bill Gross is never wrong, he is just early.

    Ask his wife.

  20. Posted by dubiousdistinction | August 8, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    I clicked the tag "balls" to see how many times Bess used it. Turns out, it's enough for 2 pages of results.

    Bess – something on your mind?

  21. Posted by ShortNaked | August 8, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    if by 2 you mean 11 then yes

  22. Posted by Eggplant Parm | August 8, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    Bill's mustache doubles as David Beers' dick broom

  23. Posted by BessLevin | August 8, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    Is this story not about balls?

  24. Posted by Put_Option | August 8, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    Whether commenting on S&P's manliness or looking like you can't be within 50 yards of a playground, you're going like the way you look. I guarantee it.

    – George A. Zimmer

  25. Posted by Vicious AnimalSpyer | August 8, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    I could see his old wrinkly balls, gross.

  26. Posted by Predatornado | August 8, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    "…the United States’s debt is like that of the first buxon milkmaid he laid his eyes on 70 years ago today- her tits may be down on the ground now but they’ll always be triple-A rated in his mind and that’s all that matters."

    – That line makes me want to suck on your toe, Miss Levin

  27. Posted by AIG Food Analyst | August 8, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    What is a food critic/celebrity doing on a finance board?

  28. Posted by Warren in Omaha | August 8, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    Mind if I use that line?

  29. Posted by guest | August 8, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Agreed! I think we should start rating currencies and commodities. It's the Treasury today, but watch out Corn and Soybeans.

  30. Posted by Snoring | August 8, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Cut him a break, he's 23 and just joined the workforce in 2009… which is when the world started in his mind

  31. Posted by Guest | August 8, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    I would have said Tyler but its not dark enough

  32. Posted by trojan_ | August 8, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    "I like you. You have balls. I like balls."

  33. Posted by A2M Bitches | August 8, 2011 at 2:49 PM
  34. Posted by Der_Guest | August 8, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    In times of uncertainty we need leaders with moustaches to tell us what to do.

  35. Posted by Texashedge | August 8, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Neville Chamberlain?

  36. Posted by Midwest Sucks | August 8, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    The first thing I thought of when I saw this picture was "This guys looks like he just walked off the set of Fargo"

  37. Posted by Not_quite_WWI | August 8, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    William H. Taft

  38. Posted by Ricky Martin | August 8, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    Tom Selleck

  39. Posted by Talk my book | August 8, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    I think you will like this, I promise.

    B Gross
    aka creep

  40. Posted by buckettrader | August 8, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    Lights off.

  41. Posted by bgross | August 8, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    PIMCO has had Balls since '06:

  42. Posted by Buffetisabore | August 9, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    I am sick of Warren Buffets holier than thou attitude…any person who own Moody's and bad mouths S&P, points to his ethics…..this dudes senior most manager was caught with his hands in the till (charlie munger). Plus all his shady dealings with Goldman, the Chinese Suit maker , where he subtly let it know he buys the suits there and surprise surprise he owns this stock and stock goes up…. jeez this man should step off his high horse…

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